How much love has become a cloud of smoke

Chapter 23 I Don't See You, Twilight and Chao Chao (1)
Vol.1
Probably because I didn't fully recover from my first illness, and after a few more tosses like this, I finally fell ill for real.By the way, I didn't have to worry about where to live, so I went straight to the hospital.My father arranged for me a first-class ward in a private hospital. When I woke up, the room was full of flowers, and I thought I had entered a flower shop by mistake.

Although he didn't come to see me every day, he did come twice, and usually let the third brother come to see me.The most frightening thing is that when I open the door, there are two door gods guarding the door, or they call me "Miss" suddenly, which scares me half to death.Fortunately, this is in the hospital, I am more courageous, even if I faint from fright, there is still time for first aid.

I asked the third brother why dad didn't taboo anymore?The third brother said with a serious face: "The ones who are taboo are outsiders, not our own."

Only then did I understand that my clever and wise father arranged for me such a good private hospital with a first-class ward in order to "seal" the hospital.

When I first woke up, I saw Chen Jiayan.He fell asleep lying on my bedside, his jet-black hair fell softly on the back of my hand where the drip was inserted, and it was slightly cool.Although I woke up, I didn't disturb him.This is the second time I saw him sleeping. When he was asleep, he lost the sharpness of the past, his eyelashes were long and soft to the touch.

I should have been more careful, but probably my joints were a little inflexible after sleeping for too long. If I accidentally touched his eyelids with my fingertips, he seemed to be startled, and I immediately fell asleep with my head tilted.People say that fake sleep is more difficult to wake up than real sleep. Once I fell asleep, I made up my mind not to wake up no matter how he called me.I don't think he didn't call me. When I woke up and saw that I was still asleep, I first looked up to see the situation of the drip, and then looked at the time on the bedside, tucked the corner of the quilt for me, and then turned and walked to the low table beside me. Turn on the computer to work.

I kept squinting to watch his actions until he sat down with his back to me before I opened my eyes boldly.

That back view is indeed the back view of me when I was sick in the hotel, I felt sore, I pulled the quilt slightly to cover my mouth and nose.The dim light outlined Chen Jiayan's generous back.He propped his forehead with his right hand, and tapped the keyboard with his left hand, exhausted in the dim light.Although he is left-handed, he can use his right hand very well, but at this moment I see that his right hand seems to be very inflexible.Probably because it was accidentally overwhelmed while sleeping, and it was a little numb.

Although he looked so tired, he didn't intend to come back to sleep for a while, but just looked back at me from time to time.

In fact, I pretended to be sleeping and pretended to be very hard. Because of this hard work, I really fell asleep again.When I woke up, Chen Jiayan was no longer in the ward, and the nurse in pink clothes was pulling my drip for me.My heart tightened, and I couldn't help asking her where was the man in the ward.

The nurse laughed and said, "He has been guarding you for three days and two nights without closing his eyes." When I said this, I was about to say something more, but my throat suddenly choked, and I didn't speak again.

The nurse continued: "It seems that something happened this morning. Someone came to find him in a hurry. Before he left, he told us to call him immediately. Is he your boyfriend?"

I saw that the nurse had some interesting eyes when she talked about Chen Jiayan, so I acquiesced to her boyfriend's statement and did not refute it.But when she heard her talk about three days and two nights, she couldn't help but think of that tired back, and felt sore, and asked her again: "Do you know where he went?"

"I don't know about that." The nurse removed the salt water holder and said, "But I probably won't be here for the next two days, maybe I have to go out on business."

I thanked her, and when she pushed the cart away, it was time for me to go too.In fact, I was not idle even when I was sick. I thought about many problems vaguely. Although I didn't have a clear answer, I made it clear that I couldn't stay here like this.Once here, there is no place to live, and I don't want to go back to my father's place.Secondly, I can no longer linger around Chen Jiayan.I know my own temper and I know my own thoughts very well. He treats me so well. If this continues, I'm afraid I will really be reluctant to leave him.

When it is broken, it will be disrupted.I'd better break it off simply, it's better to be in pain once than to be in pain forever.I also feel that sometimes I am still a person who understands quite well.After thinking this way, I started to pack my things quietly, only to realize that my mobile phone was turned off for some reason, and it didn't seem to be out of battery.Then I suddenly remembered Chen Jiayan, could it be that he saw me falling asleep and turned off the phone because he was afraid that the phone would disturb me?
Would he be so wise, mighty, gentle and considerate? My heart twitched slightly, and suddenly Chen Jiayan's back appeared in front of my eyes again.I shook my head, and immediately remembered that the serious thing was to turn on the phone.This phone call showed Chen Jiayan's brilliance and martial arts even more. Sixteen or seventeen missed calls were found out, all of which were just one call.

I stared at the phone for a long time and felt it looked familiar, but I didn't pay attention, and the phone rang again.I was stunned for a moment, then picked it up, and said "Hello" carefully, but there was no sound from the other side for a long time, so quiet that I was a little creepy, when I was about to say "Hello" a second time, suddenly a hoarse voice The voice said, "Is it Kiki?"

The sound touched a sensitive nerve, and I straightened my back and shouted fiercely: "Dean." This dean is not the dean of the Academy of Sciences, but the dean of the orphanage I was in.This call was really impartial, neither early nor late.When I thought about being homeless, he suddenly called me, as if lighting a bright light for me.Secondly, I just suffered a lot of grievances from my parents, and just when I felt that I was loved by no one, the person who loves me and treats me like the apple of my eye called me.

I felt sore, and the second time the dean yelled, he was very aggrieved and weeping. "What's the matter?" the dean said with a smile, "you were wronged outside, didn't you?" I nodded silently, choked up and didn't cry out. With tears in his eyes, he said in a steady voice, "Why did the dean suddenly think of calling me?" He also called more than a dozen in one breath. Could it be that something happened to the orphanage?I was a little nervous.

The dean's voice sounded very happy, and he smiled dryly for a while and said, "I just miss you." Such sweet and tender words from the old man's mouth really made people get goosebumps all over the floor.I couldn't help shaking, but the other end of the phone said: "Qiqi, if you are wronged outside, come back."

I sat quietly on the edge of the bed, holding the phone in my hand, but tears fell down.

——If you are wronged outside, come back here.When I left the orphanage, the headmaster told me the same thing.I actually took a gamble and left the orphanage, just for my father.But now it seems that the one who loves me the most is not my own father, but this old dean who has no blood relationship with me.

When I was in the orphanage, many teachers and school administrators thought I was stupid and inconvenient, and the lady in the cafeteria thought I ate too much. Only the director said I was cute and cute, and often took me to the director's room to give me a hand. I eat a lot of snacks.

The dean has always said that I look very much like his granddaughter. Although I have always wondered if his granddaughter is as beautiful and cute as me, but since he always sneaks me a lot of delicious food, I don't care about him.I found out later.The dean's granddaughter was never rescued because of an accidental food poisoning when she was four years old.

Because the bowl of deadly red bean paste was bought by the dean for his granddaughter, the old man has always blamed himself.Although his children didn't blame him, he still left home stubbornly, stayed in the orphanage and never returned home.When I entered the hospital, I was as old as the dean's granddaughter.

Because I can eat very well, I ate a lot of food from the refrigerator in the dean’s room on the first day I entered the school, and was unfortunately discovered by the dean.

Unexpectedly, the dean didn't blame me, he also gave me a lot of treasured snacks.I remember one night when I woke up hungry and went to the cafeteria to find something to eat, and was discovered by the dean again. He looked at me and said, "Qiqi, do you like red bean paste?" I haven't eaten red bean paste yet, but I really want to eat it, so I said, "I like it."

Then the dean secretly used the kitchen of the cafeteria to make red bean paste for me to eat.I didn't expect red bean paste to be so delicious. I ate two bowls in one go, and then I asked for the third bowl.The dean took the bowl and served me red bean paste, but I found him secretly wiping tears.I think I only ate three bowls of red bean paste from him, so I don't feel so distressed.

I later learned that the dean cried that day not because he felt sorry for the third bowl of red bean paste, but because of Xiao Yuanyuan.

"If I knew how to make red bean paste earlier, Yuanyuan wouldn't have died." It took me many years to finally understand what the dean was muttering at the time, and I finally understood that the dean's granddaughter likes red bean paste very much. , I have such a good red bean paste thanks to her blessing.

It's just that I haven't been back for so long, and I don't know if the dean's skills in making red bean paste have regressed.

In fact, when I left, the dean once asked me to do school affairs. At that time, I was young and energetic, and I always felt that the outside world was very wide, and I should go out and explore.As a result, the nose and face have been bruised and swollen all these years, and only then did I understand how painful the person who invented the words "regret at the beginning" must have been.

I wittily dismissed the two guardian door gods, took the luggage bag I brought from the hotel, and boarded the minibus to the orphanage.After so many years, the mountain road is still the same rough and bumpy, so bumpy that I almost vomited out the overnight meal.When I got out of the car, before I could stand still, a basketball hit me on the head.

A young man ran over quickly and said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He came over to pick up the basketball, and apologized again and again.My old body, who has just recovered from a serious illness, has gone through many ups and downs. I was rubbing my forehead, and I was about to say a few words of politeness to him, when suddenly I heard a familiar voice say: "It's okay, it's okay, it doesn't matter if you hit her, ten Men may not be able to put her down."

I put down my hand to rub my forehead, and saw the wrinkled dean smiling at me in a bright red basketball uniform.

Before my glorious image could be established, it was ruined by the dean's words.In order to express his apology to me, the dean took the ingredients from the cafeteria and cooked red bean paste for me that night. Hearing that I would stay as a school administrator, he immediately filled two bowls for me.I finished two bowls of red bean paste to my heart's content, and was very pleased to find that the dean's craftsmanship had not declined but increased.

The dean looked at me and said, "I only ate two bowls, Kiki, how much have you been wronged?" The person who can judge whether I am not happy with my appetite is probably the dean.And unfortunately he was right, I pursed my mouth, sniffed, and nearly cried.The dean patted me on the shoulder and said: "It's okay, it's okay, just have another bowl." But I suddenly hugged the dean and burst into tears.After listening to my stomach full of bitterness, the dean gently stroked my back and said, "It's good to be back." I sniffed and said, "If I had known, I wouldn't have left here."

"I haven't eaten red bean paste outside, how do I know that the red bean paste made by the dean is so delicious, so I should go out." The dean in his seventies wore a flower apron and said to me brightly, "Come on, Just eat another bowl, just one more bowl."

"Yeah." I nodded vigorously.No matter it's a big deal, if you eat another bowl of red bean paste, you'll be fine.Because the orphanage is located in a remote place, I stayed in the orphanage for a week, and the whole person stayed ascetic. I didn’t even bother to buy the gossip magazines I used to like to read.So it can be seen that people in the past chose temples and Taoist temples as places of practice in remote mountains that are isolated from the world, which is very reasonable.

However, that day, when I came back from shopping in a hypermarket with no desires, suddenly a thunderbolt on the sunny day broke my finally calm heart into another storm - a child came to tell me that the dean Suddenly passed out, I was so anxious that I didn't even want my shopping bags, and rushed straight to the dean's room in one breath.

The moment I walked in, I froze.There was a group of people around the bed sobbing and crying. If the school doctor hadn't sat on the side of the bed and fiddled with a stethoscope, I really thought something would happen to the principal, the old man.

Although I don't feel it normally, but after all, I am a thin old man who is more than seventy years old. At this time, lying on the bed seems to be nothing but a thin sheet.When the school doctor saw me coming in, she gave way a little so that the dean could see me.Sure enough, when the old dean saw me, he immediately became more energetic, waved his hand and said, "Qiqi, did you buy red beans?"

On that sallow and thin face, there was a smile brighter than Zhaoxia.I nodded vigorously, but I couldn't control the soreness of my nose.The school doctor took off his stethoscope and said to the dean: "It's okay, it's just overwork, just take a rest." After speaking, he got up and told him, "Just don't play basketball with the children anymore."

The dean responded with "yes", but I knew he would not be obedient.The school doctor also knows.Everyone knows, in fact, the dean himself knows, only I don't know.

The dean has terminal lung cancer.He was making those calls to me on the day he decided to forego treatment.He told everyone that there is no need to suffer that kind of crime anymore, and people will die when they get old.

That night, many people saw the principal sitting in the dean's office with a photo of Yuanyuan in a daze. At that time, I was lying on the hospital bed and missed the sixteen missed calls before that.If I had received the call earlier, I might have been able to spend more than ten hours with the dean.

They kept it from me, but I knew it was the dean's idea.He has always regarded me as his own granddaughter, and he can't see me being wronged in the slightest.I think his heart must have hurt when he heard me crying on the phone.Just as I look at the old man trying to smile on the sickbed at this moment, his heart looks like cracked ground, peeling off piece by piece.

It's only been a week since I came back, and I haven't eaten the red bean paste made by the director in just a week.

The dean smiled and said to me: "I have written down the recipe of red bean paste, I will not be able to make it anymore, Kiki, you have to learn to cook and eat by yourself. No matter what happens, just eat a bowl of red bean paste and you will be fine." of."

I nodded, but couldn't control the tears from falling.That night, the dean left.Before leaving, he also told me: "Qiqi don't cry, no matter what wronged you are, just come back here. No matter how sad you are, remember to eat a bowl of red bean paste and you will be fine." That night because Without red bean paste to eat, I couldn't control my sadness.I haven't cherished the person who loves me the most in this world.When I was a child, I only took those loves for granted. No matter how good the dean treated me, I always accepted it.When I grew up, my whole heart was attached to my own father who was at minus [-] degrees Celsius. Just to win his favor, I foolishly dropped everything and threw myself into that colorful world.

Now my whole body was covered with bruises, but it was the principal who reached out to me again and gave me red bean paste to eat.I never learned it, but it turned out to be just the word "cherish".I did not cry in front of the children. Although I am not a very promising person, I listened to the dean very much.Because he told me not to let the children see the teacher cry, that's too shameful.I organized the children to go to evening self-study and arranged for them to sleep, and then I wanted to go back to the room to sleep, but when I passed the door of the dean's room, I couldn't walk anymore.

In the dark, I seemed to hear the laughter of the old dean, but when I opened the door, it was just a dark and empty room.

My tears fell down cracklingly.I even thought if I wasn't sick, could I come back to see the dean earlier.

My fake granddaughter, in fact, didn't even complete my filial piety for one day, but I enjoyed all the blessings of a granddaughter.If it is said that the only thing I did right, I am afraid that at the last moment, I held the dry old hand of the old man and insisted not to cry.

(End of this chapter)