How much love has become a cloud of smoke

Chapter 24 I Don't See You, Twilight and Chao Chao (2)
Before I knew it, I had walked behind the desk in the dean's room. The air was filled with the smell of the old dean, the smell of ink, the smell of snacks, each of which was like an enhanced tear gas.I am familiar with every nook and cranny here, I even know which layer the dried plums are hidden in the filing cabinet.Every oxygen in the air is sad, and I will cry unconsciously when I breathe it in.

I sat there weeping in ecstasy, and when I realized it, the call had already been dialed, and the phone number I unconsciously pressed was Chen Jiayan's.

He picked it up, and when he heard my voice, he was really stunned for a second, and then said, "Qiqi?"

I didn't speak anymore, because I couldn't speak, my voice was choked in my throat, as if someone had strangled my throat.

Chen Jiayan asked anxiously on the other end of the phone: "Qiqi, are you crying?"

"The dean...the dean is gone." My voice was trembling.Tears fell on the desk, one by one, and the sound was very clear.Chen Jiayan was silent for a while, and then said: "Stay there and don't move, I'll come right now." He immediately hung up the phone.

I fell asleep exhausted.When I woke up, the sky was a bit bright, I stood up and looked at the sky light outside the window, and suddenly I heard someone calling my name.When I opened the door of the dean's room, I saw Chen Jiayan standing there. Before I could fully open the door, he had already walked over and hugged me.

Vol.2
The moisture that settled in my chest was probably shaken, and the tears that had dried up gushed out again after being hugged by him like this. "Chen Jiayan." I hugged him tightly and said, "The dean is gone." He stroked my hair and said, "It's okay, I'm here." I cried even harder, and my body twitched uncontrollably , Wait until I gradually calm down.

He let go of his hand, raised his hand to brush the broken hair on my cheek and said, "Is it better?" I nodded.He smiled, and the red blood in his eyes was clearly discernible: "Can you give me a room, I want to sleep."

I took him to the guest room, he took my hand and fell asleep, I was going to get him a blanket but he didn't let go, just said: "I'll just sleep for a while, don't need it." He fell asleep in the next second.

That's when I found out that he was on a business trip elsewhere when I called, and he booked a plane ticket to fly here, and he hadn't had a good rest for several days before.No wonder he was so tired. Once he fell asleep like this, he slept all day.

I squatted by the bed and watched him. Although he was asleep, he held my hand very hard. I was afraid that trying hard would wake him up, so I didn't dare to move again.

Chen Jiayan, I love you.When I know that everyone in the world may leave me in the end, what I am most afraid of losing is you.When I picked up the phone, I just wanted to tell you how scared I was of losing you, so I didn't dare have you.But I couldn't say anything. The moment I heard your voice, all my rationality collapsed.

Chen Jiayan slept for a long time before waking up, and when he woke up, he was still holding my hand.I asked him if he wanted to eat, he nodded, but since it was not meal time, I went to the kitchen of the cafeteria to cook noodles for him.He sat on the student's small bench and looked at me with his chin resting. When I served the noodles, he said:

"You still remember that time when you were at your house, you also said to cook noodles for me, but I still didn't eat it." I put the chopsticks in his hand and said, "How about eating two bowls today?" Smiling and nodding to me.I watched him eat noodles, and suddenly thought that the dean watched me eat red bean paste. It turns out that watching someone I like eat something I made with my own hands is such a happy feeling.Turns out, I never knew.

Chen Jiayan suddenly raised his head to look at me, brushed my cheek with his hand and said, "Why are you crying?" I shook my head, bent my mouth and said, "Do you like red bean paste?" He looked at me puzzled , I said: "The dean said, if you are unhappy or not going well, just eat a bowl of red bean paste and you will be fine. But I still don't know how to make red bean paste, Chen Jiayan, what should I do, what should I do in the future manage……"

He put down his chopsticks, raised his arms and hugged me, and said, "I'm here, it's okay." My tears fell uncontrollably, and he hugged me tightly and said, "Qiqi, come back with me."

Chen Jiayan, you must not know how much I want to be with you.The night the dean left, I tried to tell myself not to call you, because once I did, I might never be able to leave you.But I couldn't help it. I sat at the desk and told myself not to call, but my fingers unconsciously dialed your phone number.

I know, I love you.I just didn't expect that I love you so much.So if one day you hurt me, I will definitely be doomed.Red bean paste can't save it either.

The night breeze was cool, we walked under the big banyan tree in the yard, and I said to Chen Jiayan: "You know, I was very naughty when I was young, and I used to go up the tree with boys to dig out bird eggs. And every time I dig out bird eggs, The dean will beat me. He doesn’t blame me for many things I do wrong, but he will beat me when he picks out bird eggs.”

Chen Jiayan smiled, and sat down on the stone bench under the tree with me. "The dean said that if the little bird has no parents, it will be very pitiful. Just like the children in the orphanage. But the children in the orphanage still have the dean, but the little bird has nothing. I was always envious of having A child with a father and a mother, every time I go out for an outing, I see other children holding hands by their parents. I am very envious. I always hope that one day my parents will hold my hand like this to buy balloons and ice cream Give me."

"But you can see," I looked at him and said sadly, "my father is such a person, he is as cold as an iceberg of ten thousand years. The best time he treats me is when he gives me cake every year on my birthday I always thought my mother was dead because my father told me she was dead. I thought, my mother is really pitiful. She fell in love with such a cruel and heartless person as my father. That's why she ended up like this. I don't want Like her, you must not. So I was really happy when I met Zou Kainan. I know Zou Kainan is a good man, he is neither cold nor heartless, he is always gentle, he will take care of me when I am sick, He will cook for me when I am hungry, hold an umbrella for me when it rains, and ask me to add clothes when it is cold. He promised me that one day we will have our own small family. But in the end, he has, and I But not." Probably seeing me shed tears, he raised his hand and brushed my side, calling me softly: "Qiqi..."

"When the dean left, I finally understood that the one I was most afraid of losing was neither my father nor my mother, but you. However, when I saw you standing with my father that day, you would not know that I have How desperate. People always say that my heart is cold, and I have never known what it feels like. But that day, not only my heart was cold, but my whole body was cold. I never thought that I would love you so much..."

He held me in his arms, my shoulders heaving uncontrollably. "I know, I know everything." I buried my head on his shoulder, heard the sound of the wind blowing the branches, and heard Chen Jiayan's voice. "After you left the hospital, I looked for you everywhere, and I found this place. But when I came here, I suddenly knew that I couldn't take you away from here. I saw you playing with those children on the playground. I've never seen you smile so much with someone else. Kiki, as I said, we'll be together no matter what happens. So if you don't want to stay with me, well, I'll come You are here. So I have made up my mind, I will come here to be with you after I have dealt with everything, and I will accompany you all the way from now on."

My voice trembled slightly, and I couldn't help but feel that my heart, which wasn't hard enough, was about to melt at the thoughtful words he said.

I held onto his clothes tightly, and asked with joy and fear: "Are you serious?" He seemed to smile, and said softly: "Yes. Whether you need it or not, like it or not, I I'll be by your side and won't leave."

Although I can't say how knowledgeable and reasonable I am, I'm not a petty person either.Chen Jiayan agreed to stay with me in the orphanage. Although I was happy, I didn't quite believe it. After all, I've lived to my age, and I already know that many words should not be taken too seriously.But I didn't expect Chen Jiayan to live in such a calm and leisurely manner. Not only did he stay, but he also found a lot of work for himself.

For example, follow the gardener to weed and weed, help the aunt cut flowers, occasionally go to the cafeteria to help out, and at worst, go to the library to read a book for a while.My side is busy picking chrysanthemums under the eastern fence, but he is much more relaxed than me when he sees Nanshan leisurely.Besides, he has a peachy face, and he provokes peach blossoms wherever he goes.Now even the aunt in the cafeteria is full of praise for him, and every time she sees me, she always praises Chen Jiayan, which makes me really at a loss.

However, I knew in my heart how much Chen Jiayan cared about his work. He was willing to let go of all the things at hand for me for a while. I was not unmoved, but I also felt a little guilty.

What is said about "a hero buried in his name" is just a plot in the book. I remember a movie when I was a child, in which a hero really retired to the mountains and buried his name in order to stay with a beautiful woman.In the end, that beauty went away with another hero who did not hide her name... I am not as snobbish as that beauty, but if Chen Jiayan's good "martial arts" is wasted on cutting flowers and raising grass because of me, I really am To be damned.

I thought that if I waited patiently for him for two or three days, he would give up.Unexpectedly, when Chen Jiayan was serious, it really made people burst into tears.If this continues, I'm afraid that he will really find a serious job in this orphanage and live in him.I couldn't help begging him to go back. He flipped through a book and said calmly, "I said, if you don't leave, I won't either."

I said courteously, "I grew up in an orphanage, so I don't care if it's more difficult, but you are a dignified chairman, just let it go for a day or two, and you will not get used to living in it for a long time."

He smiled at me and said, "Then where do you think I grew up?" I almost forgot that his origin is similar to mine. "You'd better go." I sighed and said, "Don't stay here, and spoil those children in the future."

When Chen Jiayan heard this sentence, he put down his book to look at me and said, "What is it?"

"You lawyers, you can tell black people white and dead people alive with one mouth. People like you have been here for a long time, and they will have a bad influence on those children. They are growing up and growing their minds. I don't want them Bewitched by something bad, one by one will become glib in the future."

Chen Jiayan frowned slightly, nodded and said, "So you don't like me being a lawyer." Sure enough, he is very good at seeing the essence through appearances. Although I am not reconciled, I was really seen through.I am not very smart, and my brain is always one-sided.He is so decisive again, with a glib tongue, although I don't see him bluffing and deceiving outside, but I, a fairly stable adult, have been deceived by him so much that I can hardly tell the difference between good, bad, good and evil. , If I let him harm this group of decent children, wouldn't I be guilty of a heinous crime.

He saw that I didn't speak for a while, and suddenly closed the book and said, "Then I won't be a lawyer." This time I was taken aback, and almost said, "If you don't do it, do you still expect me to support you?" ", but finally held back, and asked in another way: "If you don't become a lawyer, what are you going to do?"

"Are you afraid that I won't be able to support you?" I laughed dryly, because people are too smart to be very likable.He added, "Did you forget, I'm still the general manager of D&K Bank." I almost forgot, but when I talked about the bank, I couldn't help but think of my father again.

At that time, he was standing with his father... Chen Jiayan suddenly held my hand and said softly: "Qiqi, I am not your father, and I am not the slightest resemblance to your father. If you don't like me dealing with your father , I can quit my job at the bank too.”

Then you really have nothing to feed me.However, I also suddenly understood that he wasn't all lying to me.He can do what he says he can.He treats me like this with all his heart and soul, and treats each other with sincerity, but I blindly suspect him and alienate him, how uncomfortable he must be.

When the dean left, I already knew that I didn't know much about the word "cherish", and now I realize that I have this big problem.If I missed Chen Jiayan, I would be so sad and heartbreaking, as long as I have this thought in my mind, I can already empathize with it.In contrast, being with him, even if I have to suffer even more heart-piercing pain in the future, I don't even feel afraid.

Thinking this way, I looked at Chen Jiayan, and suddenly there was overwhelming emotion in my chest, which made me speechless.

(End of this chapter)