Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 10 I'm Sorry Master, I Failed Again...

1
I participated in a wedding, and the most impressive part was this: the groom ran from the stage to the venue, and the host pretended to be mysterious and said: "Next, the bride's father will walk towards the groom with his daughter's hand!" All focus on the front of the groom.

I'm coming!We couldn't help straightening our necks, and saw a white-haired old woman walking slowly towards the groom with a hunchback and trembling, supported by a woman. There are a lot of guests, but how come the timing of their appearance is so perfect!The groom must have been yelling in his heart: Grandma!Grandma, why did you come out at this time!You are playing with me!Did my friend pay you to play with me?Grandma, hurry up!My wife and my father-in-law have to come over!I don't want to be misunderstood that we have something to do with each other, grandma!The lady who is supporting the grandma, can you urge her to go faster?Can't you just pick her up like a rabbit and carry her around faster?Can you please go faster? !I want to get married!Today is my first marriage!I am already 35 years old!Did you hear the whole audience burst into laughter!Please hurry up, please!Today is my big day, I really don't want to hit people!Don't force me ah ah ah ah!Grandma, please go faster...

Later, the grandma and the woman finally left, and then the father-in-law who held his daughter's hand finally appeared in front of the groom... But their limelight has been stolen!Granny, pure man!

Another impressive wedding.There was a ladyboy in the room.Shemale is not necessarily gay, but that shemale is really a bitch.He is a relative of the groom and has a lively nature, so he volunteered to speak when no one asked him to.When he took the microphone from the host, I had the illusion that the next moment he would use his hip to clamp the microphone...

But of course he didn't do that. I saw him twisting his waist and saying his best wishes to the groom in an incomparably monstrous voice. There are many ingredients in the field!It was so easy for him to finish talking nonsense, the groom stretched out his hand to take the microphone, who would have thought that the shemale took the groom's hand into his own and rubbed it affectionately...

Just when I thought that if I were the bride, I would definitely fight the ladyboy with the cake knife on the spot, the ladyboy let go.But the nightmare was not over yet. He turned his hips and walked over to the sound engineer and said, "I want to sing a song for all the guests here!" In an instant, I saw the hands of the bride and groom tightly holding each other. That excitement, it seems that each other is encouraging each other to hold back and not to do blood spattering at the wedding scene, and then the whole audience is shrouded in the singing of the ladyboy that is a hundred times more exaggerated than Fei Yuqing... The singing means moaning while singing.

This was definitely the most groundbreaking of all the weddings I've been to.Later, when a few friends got together, I specifically mentioned this paragraph. In order to let them be in the scene, I stood up and imitated the appearance of the ladyboy scratching his head, imitating his "Oh, I hate it" movements, and imitating his shyness with a blushing face The facial expressions... All my friends felt the same, and then I asked Xiao Lu: "Is my imitation still like it?"

...Down with the shemale!
2
Water was poured upstairs, and my clothes hanging on the balcony were almost poured, so my uncle and I went up there to yell and scold, and the other party immediately apologized and promised that it would not happen again. I am glad that the conflicts between neighbors are actually easy to solve. .As a result, when I went downstairs, my uncle suddenly found that I was holding a fruit knife that I forgot to put down just now when I was peeling fruit. The uncle said, "Why are you using the knife up there!"

3
There are irreconcilable contradictions between "thriftiness/laziness of not wanting to throw away shorts when they are torn" and "shorts themselves are as thin as cicada's wings" and "powerful washing machine". On November 2009, 11, the conflict ended with "taking out a rag from the washing machine that looked like shorts after careful identification".

4
I went to the supermarket with my uncle and saw expensive cantaloupe for sale.I said to my uncle: "Hami melons are something that only the upper class can eat." The uncle said: "Yes! Let's be upper class people once!" So we bought one and took it home.That night, two gentlemen gnawed the skin of the cantaloupe until it was as thin as a sheet of paper.

5
A teat belonging to a sow was found on the pork belly that was bought for twice-cooked pork.

—— "The Memoirs of A Zhai: How I Became a Vegetarian"

6
In the supermarket, when you see that the lady in charge of weighing and labeling looks good, you go to line up empty-handed. When it is your turn and the lady expresses curiosity, she asks affectionately: How much is a catty for your admiration?
Uncle's Comments: Will be beaten.

7
I went out to the restaurant with my uncle, and we were chatting after ordering food. A waitress wearing glasses came over with the food and accidentally spilled the vegetable juice on the uncle's pants and my shoes.

The waitress turned green with fright, she nodded and bowed, and said "I'm sorry" several times in one breath.

Because we often come to this restaurant, we can see that this waitress is a newcomer. Of course, we will not embarrass the newcomer because we are kind. We wiped the place where we were splashed with paper and waved our hands to show tolerance.

The waitress kept apologizing.

At this moment, the uncle suddenly said: "It is a good thing to realize your mistakes, but it is not acceptable for you to apologize in this way, and it cannot fully reflect your sincerity. Let me teach you."

The waitress looked confused.

The uncle made a twisting gesture holding the plate in front of his chest, and said: "You have to do this, with tears in your eyes, tell the guest, I'm sorry, master, I, I failed again..."

Waitress: "..."

The uncle said kindly: "Try to talk about it, it will be very helpful for your future development."

At this time, the boss at the counter screamed: "Little sister! Come back soon!"

The waitress fled.

Looking at her back, the uncle said: "This store seems to have no future."

And I want to say...it's just a Shaxian snack bar, don't make things difficult for it, okay? !

8
One Sunday, the uncle was mopping the floor, and I was rushing to draft.The uncle said to me: "Can't you take the initiative to procrastinate once?"

"I procrastinate, I procrastinate every time."

"When did you procrastinate, I never saw it!"

"What I mop is not the floor but the manuscript."

"roll."

(End of this chapter)