Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 14 The Painter and the Uncle Are Love Rivals
1
Recently, the uncle's character has exploded. He has dinner every day. He eats with a red face and greasy mouth. He comes back with a big belly at night, and he seems to be a little fat invisibly.Looking at his swollen belly, he was very worried. It is said that overeating would make his body overwhelmed, so he often appeared in the living room wandering melancholy. The painter asked him what was wrong. threw up."

Later, the artist pulled me aside nervously and asked, "Your one seems to be pregnant! Is it yours?"

... Whether this person is joking or seriously thinking so, I have the heart to kill him.

Soon the uncle went to the pharmacy and bought Muxiang Shunqi pills and Shanzha pills according to the clerk's suggestion.Unfortunately, after he mixed these two medicines for invigorating the stomach and eliminating food, they actually had the effect of laxative and moistening the intestines!According to him, when he was at work, he only felt the turmoil in his stomach, so he had to go to the toilet frequently, solve the large one with the frequency of the small one, and wished he could just work in the toilet.This symptom lasted for a long time, and it didn't heal over the weekend, but it got worse.The uncle's buttocks are almost growing together with the toilet, and the stretching is so soul-stirring; the stretching makes him feel like he has taken laxatives by mistake; the stretching makes him declare to me that he has stretched everything he can in his life.He couldn't even sleep at night because he said he was worried about waking up in the morning to find his bed turned into a septic tank.

"I think my chrysanthemum doesn't belong to me anymore." This is what the uncle said to me with his pale and trembling lips.

In response to this tragedy, the painter gave sympathy again.When the uncle was lying on the bed, the artist knocked on the door and brought in a bowl of porridge. The unexpected warmth moved both me and the uncle.

After the uncle finished eating the porridge, I went to wash the dishes, and the painter came in again. I softened my attitude towards him, so I said, "Thank you just now."

"It's not easy for everyone." The painter patted me on the shoulder while smoking a cigarette, and then said mysteriously in my ear, "It's not easy for you either. See how dirty he is. You've been so dirty these days." Can't use it?"

... Later I told my uncle this, and the uncle struggled on the bed and cried out, "Don't stop me, I'm going to die with that pervert."

In contrast, Glasses' attitude is much more civilized, at least he won't come over to me in a sneaky way and say something highly irritating.He came to visit the uncle and gave some suggestions such as "don't eat cold food" and "you don't need to take Shunqi pill".Let the uncle's affection for him increase to another level.In order not to affect the patient's rest, the glasses only stayed for a while before leaving.Although it was only two steps, I still sent him to the door.

At this time, the glasses smiled at me and said, "You have to take good care of him. When one of the couple is sick, it can enhance the relationship. For example, I used to feed my ex-boyfriend soup with my mouth..."

Then he said: "By the way, to avoid being infected, you can stay in my room for a while. Don't worry, I won't do anything to you. Friends and wives can't be bullied."

Glasses gone, I close the door.The uncle sighed on the bed, there are good people among the gays.

So I told him the last thing the glasses said to me, and the uncle cried when he heard it, and he said, "I really, really want to live in a house that is more conducive to recovery!"

And I'm obsessed with the phrase "friend's wife".Damn, why do I have to be a wife!
2
Because I live in the same room with my uncle, I am often teased by our friends with ill intentions, let alone those who blatantly YY us like Xiaolu Xiaobei glasses, to be honest, I am used to it.But the reason why the painter can't tolerate us looking at us like that is because this guy clearly lacks the concept of many things, why is he so keen on cosplay girls? Isn't this just kidding!

For example, once a painter suddenly asked me: "You and your fellow, who is male and who is female?"

I said I didn't understand what he meant.My uncle and I are both pure men, you can know this by looking at it!

He said, "I mean, whoever plays the male and whoever plays the female."

I suddenly realized: "Oh, you mean attack and receive, right?"

He said, "Attack? Receive?"

I said, "To put it simply, if you play a man in a homosexual relationship, it's an offense, and if you play a woman, you're a victim."

He said, "Oh, which one of you is the attacker and who is the recipient?"

……wrong!Not so!
3
Last time we said that the uncle and the artist fell in love with Xiaobei at first sight.We are all grown-ups, and it is very practical to do it after liking someone, of course, immediately try to find ways to please the other person.

I helped the uncle get Xiaobei's phone number from Xiaolu, and then the uncle often sent text messages to Xiaobei.

But Xiaobei is a three-no, at least a fake three-no, so her replies are always unsalty, and sometimes she doesn't reply, which makes the uncle very depressed.

This time the uncle was ill, so he adopted psychological tactics, trying to stimulate Xiaobei's maternal instinct.He called Xiaobei, and deliberately greeted Xiaobei with the voice of "I'm so devastated when I hear it, but I'm still pretending to be cheerful", in order to win Xiaobei's sympathy by pretending to be disabled.It has to be said that he succeeded, Xiaobei uncharacteristically said a lot more.

She said, "Do you have a fever?"

The uncle replied happily: "I don't think so, I don't have a thermometer either."

Xiao Bei said, "Buy, test."

The uncle made a victory gesture to me who was eating instant noodles and said: "Well, thank you for your concern." In order to show off to me, this man specially turned up the other party's call volume so that I could hear .

Xiaobei added: "The rectal temperature is the most accurate. You must like the feeling of putting the thermometer into the chrysanthemum."

The phone hung up after a while, and I came over and patted the uncle on the shoulder and said, "How wonderful, she finally said a long sentence."

The uncle didn't say anything, but when he turned his head, I could clearly see tears in his eyes...

4
During the uncle's illness, I kept giving him such care and concern as "You deserve it!" Use "I will drag you to die with me if I die!" If you steal your underwear, you will definitely be infected by me!" Reassure me not to worry about him.

We are really good friends.

5
The uncle and the painter fell in love with Xiaobei at the same time. This was the first thing I discovered as a bystander. They seemed to be unaware of each other's intentions.In line with the principle of not letting the rich water flow to outsiders, I told my uncle the fact that "the artist and you are already rivals in love".

The uncle’s reaction at that time was to be nervous, and then sighed: “Yes, Xiaobei is such a cute girl, it’s only natural that the painter would like her.” Then the uncle said confidently, “But it’s okay, I think I Much better than him."

I asked, "Where are your strengths?"

The uncle said: "A common language. Xiaobei is a doujin girl. This doujin girl is closely related to the animation circle. How does that artist know so much? I can send the base map to Xiaobei, can he? I can give Xiaobei Can he buy rotten copies? He is a cup of tea!"

I said: "Uncle, wake up! I hear that you are more miserable!"

6
Although the uncle thinks that painters are not to be feared, it is more because he needs to create some illusion of self-confidence for himself.In fact, he is still very concerned about how the painter will pursue Xiao Bei.

The painter was not stupid, the day he met Xiaobei, he got close to her and asked for her mobile phone number. Every time he saw the painter press his mobile phone, the uncle would subconsciously think that he was contacting Xiaobei.

But the painter didn’t seem to realize that the uncle had the same intention as him. He knocked on our door that day and said, “I want to paint a painting for Xiao Bei. Do you have any good suggestions?”

Uncle and I looked at each other, and at the same time felt that the advantage of a painter who can paint is something that uncle can't catch up with.The uncle was still hesitating on how to answer, but I said bluntly: "Xiao Bei likes chrysanthemums."

So in the next few days, we all saw the painter's concentration on a still life painting of a large bouquet of chrysanthemums.Watching the brilliant chrysanthemums blooming on the painter's canvas... Every time my uncle and I laugh, we end up hurting ourselves.

Another night, the painter knocked on our door again.He said to us with a sad face: "I gave the chrysanthemum picture to Xiao Bei."

I said, "Then what?"

The painter said: "Xiao Bei said that a chrysanthemum without cucumbers is not a good chrysanthemum. I don't understand what she means, please teach me."

Under our guidance, the artist began to add new elements to the original painting. The content is: a cucumber protrudes from the stamen of each chrysanthemum.While he was indulging in art, he kept telling us that he really didn't understand why he painted like this.

We continue to laugh and endure the internal injury.

Several art dealers who came to ask for drafts turned around and left after seeing the painter's avant-garde new creations.

7
I received a manuscript to write about One Piece, because it was to be included in a book about rotten women, so the editor repeatedly told me that "there must be ambiguous BL pairings", which severely hit my desire to write a legendary story. determination.For this reason, I even had the idea of ​​writing Mr. 2 with Eva, Brooke with Frankie, etc. to retaliate against the society, but I gave up and chose the relatively normal Zoro with Sanji.As I was writing, my uncle and I suddenly started discussing the matching in Shinigami. Since there are too many men in this book, we were at loggerheads over whether Ichigo should match Uryu Renji or Byakuya.After a long heated argument, the uncle suddenly came to his senses and cursed, "Why did I discuss this with you!"

...I still want to ask you!Although I was a little excited to discuss it!

(End of this chapter)