Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 2 Worry about me occasionally from a more normal direction

1
I chatted with Xiaolu, and I somehow talked about the sentences that I like to write in elementary school compositions. When I mentioned one of the sentences "silver bell-like laughter", Xiaolu asked me: "What should a silver bell-like laughter look like?" After thinking about it, he grinned and said, "Dingling, dingling, dingling, dingling, dingling..." Xiao Lu patted me with a smile and said, "You owe me so much."

Later, this evolved into a kind of tacit understanding between us. When encountering funny things, we would often look at each other first and then "ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding jingling..."

I proudly told my uncle about the love between me and Xiaolu, and finally said kindly: "Let's laugh together for you next time, it's so cute." Said: "Who wants to hear your obscene laughter!" I said: "It's laughter like silver bells!"

2
I always sit when I go to work, I sit when I take the bus to and from get off work, and I sit when I get home and watch movies and books... In short, my buttocks are getting bigger and bigger, and my belly is getting bigger and bigger.I'm not very worried yet, but the little deer looks like he can bear it or can't bear it. He often touches my belly and says, "I'm getting bigger again, when will I give birth?" Hurry up, let’s come up with a name for the baby first”, she will pinch my belly hard and say, “Get rid of it!”

What Xiaolu means is that I have to lose weight properly. After all, it is too much to have a middle-aged figure at the age of youth.I think she's right, but I really don't have time to exercise, so I choose to go on a diet.

For several days in a row, I ate porridge for three meals.It is said that the porridge sold in the store is a real material, so rare that I often cannot find the existence of rice grains, and after eating it, I can go to the toilet twice to clean it up, often making me hungry like a wolf.But a week later, when I stood in front of the deer, I looked even fatter. According to my speculation, it was due to excessive water intake, so I became swollen...

After learning about my arduous weight loss experience, Xiaolu showed his distress for me.She held my hand affectionately, and said earnestly: "It's not good for you..." Just as I was about to express my touch, she added: "Someday if a man wants to rape you, you won't even have the energy to resist."

...Ah?Please worry about me from a normal direction once in a while!
3
When I went to Xiaolu’s house last weekend, the weather was very good and strong. Xiaolu asked me to help her carry the thick quilt up to the roof to soak in the sun, so I, being strong, took the posture of a princess hugging the quilt and went up. .After hanging the quilt on the clothesline, Xiaolu handed me a hanger.I whipped the quilt as hard as I could to expel the dust, and suddenly many tiny particles danced in the sunlight. At first glance, it was actually a little cute, and the sound of bang bang was even more pleasant to my ears. I played more and more vigorously, and the plot of "Full Metal Rock With Two Faces" could not help appearing in my mind, and I couldn't help shouting: "Sow! Call me queen!"

Xiaolu silently left me and went downstairs. I knocked on the door for a long time before she let me in.

4
When I was on the anime forum, I met some editors. After getting to know everyone, I would occasionally receive some manuscripts from them to supplement the family expenses. Sometimes the task was urgent, even if I was spending the weekend with Xiaolu, I had to find time to catch up on the manuscript.Fortunately, Xiaolu is very good. When I was rushing to draft, she sat quietly and watched movies, comics and so on.I am very relieved to have found such an understanding girlfriend.As a result, I glanced at Xiaolu’s monitor between writing and writing that day, and saw a scene of a bearded man kissing a bespectacled man with tongue.

... You must spend more time with her!
5
Sometimes I also ask Xiaolu for opinions when writing manuscripts. For example, when writing a review of the "Wall-E" that we all like, I want to use English as the subtitle of the chapter. I thought of the passage where the little gadgets enjoy themselves called "The Boy in Heaven", but my English is very poor, and I am not sure if there is any mistake in grammar, spelling and meaning expression, so I asked for Xiaolu's opinion, and Xiaolu went straight to it without saying a word Baidu searched for an online English-Chinese translation, and the results showed that "The Boy in Heaven" means boy heaven.

"...can we change the subject?"

"……Change!"

6
Recently, I want to move again, because the place where I live is cheap, and it is still too far away from the company. When I go to bed late, I have to wait for the car and get stuck in traffic. This month's perfect attendance bonus will be reimbursed.It is my dream to commute leisurely, so I still want to move.But my complacent personality is too annoying. When I think about all the tedious matters of moving, such as cleaning, carrying luggage, etc., I will lose all energy.

But recently, something happened that made me determined to move out as soon as possible, that is, I fell in the bathroom.The layout of the bathroom where I live now is like this: when you enter the door, there is a fixed shower head, and then there is a urinal right below it. The location is just so good that people with poor eyesight will think it is a small bathtub.That is to say, if I want to take a good shower, I have to spread my legs and straddle the urinal in a very perverted posture, which makes me bind my hands and feet in the shower and feel very uncomfortable.As a result, I just slipped and fell to the ground that day to prevent myself from stepping into the urinal. The shower gel, shampoo, towel, etc. in my hand were buried with me with a "plop". At that moment, I wanted to kill myself have it all.

After returning to the room with a groan, I sent a text message complaining to Xiaolu, saying that I slipped and fell, and fell to death.As soon as Xiaolu heard it, she replied cutely: Ah T mouth T!Are you okay?I immediately felt that I was healed, and my atrium was filled with full warmth.Full of warmth and lust, I replied to Xiaolu: Don't worry, my most important part is not hurt!Xiaolu quickly replied: That's great, if Chrysanthemum is injured, it will be very troublesome!

...Why is the chrysanthemum the most important part of me? Hey!

7
I finally completed all of "Tianyuan Breakthrough". At that moment, my blood was boiling, and I was so excited that I wanted to catch someone on the road and shout "Who do you think I am?"Of course, it is necessary to change the QQ signature file to record the mood at this time, but after much deliberation, there are really too many famous lines that I want to record, which one is the right one?I am seriously troubled!At the end of my thinking, I typed the word "man" succinctly and concisely. As expected, only these two words are the most powerful and can explain everything!I want to be a man like Simon and Big Brother!
After a while, I received a QQ message from Xiaolu, and she said to me with a melancholy expression: Even if you really need a man so much, you can't write it on the signature file.

...the blood is gone.

8
Speaking of QQ, I immediately thought of the acquaintance with Xiaolu, which was quite dramatic. At the beginning of 2008, I came to this city to look for a job, and was quickly hired by a company as a copywriter. At that time, I felt very lucky to find an organization so quickly.It was only later that I realized that it was because the former copywriter was in a hurry and the work was even busier. The leaders who were eager to seek talents chose me in a hurry.After knowing the truth, I was really depressed.

The day I went to report was a Sunday, that is, to get acquainted with some company affairs and tidy up my seat along the way.I was allocated a good computer, and I saw QQ automatically log in as soon as I turned it on.It can be seen that this is a person with quite a lot of netizens, and he just went online, and the "Didi Didi" prompts sounded one after another.I looked at the ID of the owner of QQ, "Sakura", and this is the beginning of my acquaintance with Xiaolu.

Since Xiaolu has a good screen name, I became interested in her, and because of the innate desire of human beings to gossip about privacy, I unethically opened the QQ group that was constantly flashing in the lower right corner, and suddenly a dozen A lot of pictures popped up in the "Swipe" window, and the dense barrage made me unable to react for a while.I really just zoomed in on one of the dialog boxes, and then I saw a picture of two beautiful men with only ties left in the fabric, and one of them had a rather ecstatic expression.At the same time, a moaning sound came from behind me. When I looked back, I saw my department head was holding his forehead with one hand, with a sad expression on his face that "the motherland has no future".At that time, I really wanted to quit my job.

9
Because of the little deer, now I have a little bit of tolerance towards the rotten girls, but at the time I really didn’t understand this group, and I used to think that the rotten girls should be tied to the cross and executed at the stake... According to my opinion, rotten women should be cautious when walking in the rivers and lakes, and any traces of committing crimes must be carefully erased.However, Xiaolu is really too careless, and the computer she left me is really bad and undefended. Needless to say, QQ, there are hundreds of domestic and foreign rotten girl sites in the favorites, some watch movies, some download manga, some collect pictures, some post posts, and there are even sites with "fag, I am your friend" is a bosom sister type site with the theme of "I am your friend", where countless male compatriots with bent sexual orientation send confused inquiries, and countless female compatriots like Xiaolu enthusiastically give encouragement and advice, which shows my outlook on life It's crumbling.

What left the deepest impression on me at that time was a basic article.This work takes Xiao Hong, Xiao Ming and Xiao Gang who we were very familiar with and loved in childhood as the protagonists. The content is the tragic story of Xiao Gang and Xiao Ming kicking Xiao Hong off after they got married, which made me cry.The most outrageous thing is that the person who wrote this article also plagiarized many classic movie plots. For example, when Xiao Gang and Xiao Hong left in the car, Xiao Ming, who watched them off, suddenly yelled: "You said you want to raise Am I real?" Then Xiaogang replied: "Yes..."

The author of this article is named "Xiao Bei". I really wanted to know her contact information, and then I went to the door with a mace and beat her up.Later I found out that Xiaobei is Xiaolu's best friend.

(End of this chapter)