Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 26 Are you all children?
1
Watching a program on a certain TV station, and selecting the top ten extraordinary girls in classic movies, for example, the one in "Killer Leon" will be named the strongest, and the loli in "Kick-Ass" will be selected Rated the most violent.The order of this program is from ten to one. After watching so many tough girls, people are looking forward to who No. 1 will be and what role in the movie, and the answer comes out...

It is Wei Minzhi in "Not One Less".

...Why is it her? !Isn't the scope of selection limited to foreign films? !The front is full of foreign films, and finally a domestic rural film suddenly comes out. Please consider the audience's tolerance, okay?And why Wei Minzhi? !Although she is indeed great, is she more fierce than Super Killer? !What's more, when the narrator explained why "Not One Less" was chosen, he especially contacted Wei Minzhi's continuous improvement status to show that she really deserves her name... It's too outrageous that her performance outside of the film can actually become a top actress. The reason for the list, how much pressure does it take to forcefully turn a good program into this...

2
Attended a pen meeting.The participating authors are basically relatively young, and almost all use pen names, so the host had to say aloud when reading the attendance list: "The participants in this meeting include Mr. Teacher Stupid Pig, Teacher Braised Egg..."

It was so hard for everyone to hold back their laughter in the audience.

Suddenly, I felt that it would be super embarrassing to participate in this kind of pen!
At this pen meeting, I met several mainland cartoonists. They are all very capable and hardworking people. We had a good chat.One of them looks exactly like Feng Xiaogang, we jokingly called him Director Feng, and asked him if he went to the cinema when "Tangshan Earthquake" was released, just put on a hat, lower the brim of the hat a little and sit in the first row to watch it, and it was over. Turn around and go out, you will be immediately surrounded by enthusiastic fans asking for autographs.He couldn't laugh or cry when he heard this, so we comforted him one after another. In fact, he still looks better than Feng Xiaogang.He nodded in relief, and then said violently: "Is it a compliment to look better than Feng Xiaogang?!"

After the meeting is a big dinner, a large group of people get together to eat and drink.One of the indispensable links is toasting everywhere.Just as I was working hard, the editor-in-chief and executive editor-in-chief came over, and I heard them smiling heartily and saying from a long distance: "Come, let's have a toast, I wish you better writing." Standing up reflexively holding the cup, he traveled to the wedding scene in an instant. While clinking glasses with the two men who were both men, he said, "Thank you, thank you. I also wish you two a happy marriage for a hundred years." The scene was dead silent.

3
Determined to dedicate myself to children's literature, I recently joined a group, in which there are either writers or painters, editors of magazines or editors of publishing houses. In short, they are all practitioners of children's literature, which makes people feel very cordial.Then one day there was a new guy who joined the group, and when he came in, he asked excitedly, "Are you all children?"

There was a dead silence in the group.After a while, someone suggested to the group leader: "...kick this person out?"

4
I often go to eat delicious food with Xiaolu.Xiaolu's hobby is to take a picture of those dishes with the camera before eating them, and update to the blog to comment on the color, fragrance and taste.Since this kind of behavior is relatively new, every time Xiao Lu does this, someone will look at her, which makes me very embarrassed.In order to resolve this embarrassment, I said this time: "Take it seriously, last time you were clapping and shaking your hands, the photos couldn't be published in the newspaper, and even I was scolded by the editor-in-chief."

Xiao Lu "..." for a moment, and continued to shoot.I went on to say: "It's not good to be a reporter, but to be a food reporter. It's really hard for us. The editor-in-chief gave us an order, and we have to come here to eat and take pictures. Hey, there are reimbursements for food and taxis." The editor-in-chief is really serious, next time he should drive us in his BMW."

The people sitting around us all looked at us with admiration when they heard this speech.Satisfied with my vanity, I lightly lifted a roast leg of lamb, and said to the little deer: "This taste is not bad, but it is still not as good as the one we ate on the grasslands of Inner Mongolia last time. I really hope to have a chance to go again, yes You can also travel for free. It is said that next time the agency will go to France to eat authentic cuisine, and we will have a share."

Just when more eyes were focused on us, Xiaolu put down the camera and said in a deep voice, "What dream have you been dreaming about since just now?"

...Successful!

5
Walking through a street, I found that the names of the shops are very distinctive.For example, there are two flower shops called "Hua Wu Que" and "Hua Man Lou", a shop selling goldfish called "Xiao Yu Er", a shop selling perfume called "Chu Liu Xiang", a nightclub called "Ye Gu Cheng", and a shop selling goldfish called "Xiao Yuer". The knife shop is called "Xiao Huang Fei Dao", and the signature cold drink of an ice shop is called "Ximen Chuuxue"...

You are too tidy!This street is actually the headquarters of Gu Long's book fans!
6
I remembered that when I was in college, there was a female classmate I was close to. Everyone had no taboos and dared to talk about anything.For example, a boy once asked her in a questioning tone: "What is your bust?" She said without shame: "I have a B cup!" Although we all have reservations about this measurement, we feel that she is not deceiving our necessity.Later, after a physical examination, she looked depressed. We asked her what was wrong, and she replied, "I thought I was a B, but it turned out that I was only an A." Only then did we realize that she is a woman after all, and she still cares about these details. .So we gently comforted her and said, "It's okay, you can still pretend to be B."

7
It was the first time I met a friend who could create original bad jokes, so I told everyone three short jokes at a party.These three jokes are: Once upon a time there was a carambola who raised a flock of sheep, and later the sheep really escaped, so he turned into a bayberry; there was an apple in the past that was so shy, so he was born a red apple; a grapefruit wanted to lose weight, After working hard he became an orange.

What I didn't expect was that these three jokes had a surprisingly good response, and many people were laughing to and fro.I complacently pursued the victory, and told another story that was already well-known on the Internet. The content was: a tomato had a car accident. Passers-by laughed and said "ketchup" when they saw it!Later, a watermelon got into a car accident. Passers-by laughed and said "watermelon juice" when they saw it!Unfortunately, the passer-by also had a car accident. The driver laughed and said "scumbag" when he saw it!
The joke that filled me with confidence led to a relentless silence.Everyone expressed that they had heard it all, and it turned out that the three originals that had never been heard before were more interesting.It hurt me so much.At this time, one of the friends said: "I have never heard the joke just now." I said: "Then why don't you laugh?" He said: "Because it is different from what I expected. , the driver would laugh and say 'flow of people'."

The table full of friends roared with laughter at this last sentence.

...how low your taste is!
8
The so-called "extreme things will turn back" means that a dirty pig suddenly finds that the place where he lives is dirty beyond the scope of the pig's business one day, so he has to clean it up.For example, one day, I suddenly felt that the wind from the fan was too low, and I had to turn it on at a high speed or change the angle to blow a little wind.After taking a closer look, I found that the fan blades and the outer cover were covered with black dirt, so they blocked the wind. The spider web made of this kind of dust is really terrible!How dirty should it be to have this effect!So I resolutely took a cloth to wipe it. After wiping it for a while, I felt that this was not good.So I found a screwdriver and carefully disassembled the fan, and dipped the rag with detergent...

In order to facilitate the work, I was fully armed and finally carried the fan into the bathroom. In order to prevent the water from splashing, I closed the door.After I finished a round of arduous operation, the fan has a brand new look.I carried it out of the bathroom with a sense of accomplishment, and met the uncle's eyes.I ostentatiously waited for his compliments, but in the end I said, "Is it so hot! Is it just a big poop to carry a floor fan in?!"

(End of this chapter)