Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 5 Moving to Jiwo... No, New Wo

1
On the day of the move, both Xiaolu and the uncle came to help.I don't have a lot of things, and everyone can get everything done by mentioning a little.After coming to the new nest, the cleanliness deer expressed strong dissatisfaction, thinking that the place is too dirty and messy, and there are even cracks on the door of my room.At that time, Xiao Lu leaned over the crack and looked at it for a long time. I thought her behavior was very indecent, so I asked, "What are you doing?"

Xiao Lu turned his head and said as if he was facing a big enemy: "You can see the inside from this slit! From now on, you must be careful when changing clothes, so as not to be peeped."

I laughed dryly and said, "Just kidding, the uncle and the painter live with me, they are both men, how can they read?" The uncle said, "That's right."

The painter who was painting with his back to us also interrupted heartily: "That's right, why bother to peek so hard, you can get in with just one kick at that kind of door."

The place was dead silent.

Afterwards, the little deer quietly said to me: "You put a lock on the door." I nodded seriously.

2
After moving, we went downstairs for dinner.Xiao Lu had a grudge against the painter, and repeatedly told me to pay attention to the issue of chastity.Because of the uncle's presence, I was troubled by Xiao Lu's unobtrusive and ostentatious corruption, so I said, "Don't be so exaggerated, how many gays can you meet in real life?"

The uncle also smiled and said with a mature look: "That's right, something really happened, and I'm still here, don't worry."

Little Lu said sadly, "But I'm also very worried about you."

A drop of sweat dripped down from the uncle's forehead, and he said, "Don't worry, I will protect your husband well, and I won't guard against him."

Xiaolu said: "But the painter is very strong, what if you are not his opponent?"

The uncle said heartily: "Then I will stand by his side and help hold your husband down."

The table was dead silent.Xiaolu squeezed my hand from under the table, and I shook it back trembling.

3
After eating, the deer left.My uncle and I went back to the floor where we lived.

The uncle sighed: "Your girlfriend is really not an ordinary person, thank you for being able to bear it."

I heard someone say that Xiaolu was not very happy, so I said, "Her worries are not unreasonable."

The uncle said: "Fuck! Makes sense? Could it be that the painter is really gay? That's too rude. Don't be infected by rotten women."

Then we opened the door of the house, went in and saw the painter putting up the curtains, next to a man with chest hair undressing, we were instantly petrified.

Then the painter patted the strong muscles of the naked man who started to take off his underpants and said with a hearty smile: "From today onwards, I will switch to painting human bodies. He is my model. Are you scared? Haha, you two are also in good shape. Are you interested in joining?"

My uncle and I shook our heads firmly.

When I went to bed that night, I checked the lock several times and set the speed dial to 110.

4
This is my first night in the new nest.In the middle of the night, I got up to go to the bathroom, and found that the light in the living room was still on, and the artist and the male model were still dedicating their lives to art.Although the scene was unsightly, I was still moved by their fighting spirit. Think about it, don't I often stay up late to catch up on drafts?

They smiled at me together when they saw me, and I responded with a spring-like smile and said, "Are you still painting so late?"

The painter patted the model and said: "Yeah, his posture makes me feel special, so I want to keep it a little longer, and go to sleep after all come out."

I was so stunned that I could barely stand, thinking what kind of line this was.But I still maintained the superficial etiquette, and said inadvertently: "You are really professional." The painter replied: "Hehe, the professional one should be my model. Look at him, three or four hours have passed, and he can still maintain a good job." Not moving at all. I admire naked men the most."

The living room was dead silent.Then the painter said: "Oh, I was wrong, I admire the meticulous man the most." I said in a cold sweat, "Oh, oh." Then I ran back to the room quickly.Night dream.

5
Moving to Jiwo... No, the evening of the second day in Xinwo, I went out to eat and go to the supermarket with my uncle after get off work.During this period, the uncle put his hand affectionately on my shoulder, which made me a little unbearable, and Xiaolu's worries were turning over and over in my mind.But when I passed by a pair of men and women who were shoulder to shoulder, I forgave the uncle again.How can I say no to an old man who is over thirty and still single?Just let him take it!

Instant noodles are the most important food for otaku, so we lingered in the instant noodle counter for a long time.It was summer, and the uncle said that the weather is not suitable for eating soup noodles, and if you want to eat, you can eat dry noodles.I took a box of Uniform and said, "Then buy this."

The uncle said, "No, it's four yuan and two, it's too expensive."

So I changed a pack and said, "Then buy Master Kong, it only costs three yuan."

The uncle said: "No, the one in your hand is in a box. It is cheaper to buy a bag."

I picked up a bag and said, "That's it!"

The uncle said: "Will you live a good life? Of course you have to buy the five-in-one bag, which is cheaper!"

I was moved by the uncle's diligence and thrift.

Lazards are just as important as eating and drinking, so we went shopping for toilet paper again.But after looking around in the supermarket for a long time, we couldn't find a place that sold toilet paper.In desperation, the uncle pulled over a staff member and asked, "Miss, where are the sanitary products?" The lady showed a shy look, and the uncle repeated the question loudly, and the lady then pointed into the distance.My uncle and I followed the prompts and came to a place where all kinds of sanitary napkins were placed.

In the following time, my uncle and I looked for that woman all over the place, trying to beat her up.

There are also special counters selling meat in supermarkets.Cut and sold now, beautiful in appearance and quality.We watched it for a long time, and the uncle enjoyed life very much and said, "We can buy some ribs and go back to stew soup on weekends in the future."

I said, "But I'm going on a date with Xiaolu this weekend!"

The uncle had a displeased look on his face.I quickly comforted: "Don't worry, you can cook the soup first, I will come back to drink when I have had enough fun."

The uncle gave me the middle finger.

Next we started YY on many home appliances.The uncle said: "When we have money, we can buy microwave ovens, air conditioners, washing machines, and refrigerators..." Of course, we can't afford anything now.We lingered in front of many snacks and drinks. In fact, most of the time it was the uncle who showed a strong interest in shopping, and I just walked around with him.But when I walked past the toy cabinet, I took the initiative to say: "Uncle, buy a bear." The uncle said: "Your uncle!"

On the way back with big bags and small bags, I sent a text message to Xiaolu saying that we went to the supermarket tonight and bought a lot of things.Xiao Lu said, "Did you remember to buy the most important one?"

I said: "What?"

Xiaolu said: "What else, you can't let him come directly? Although you will not be pregnant."

I:"……"

6
After living with my uncle for a week, Xiao Lu said that I seemed to have changed.I said, "Where is it?"

Xiao Lu looked at me carefully, and said, "Anyway, it has changed, like the transformation from a young girl to a young woman." I made a gesture to hit her, and said, "Don't talk nonsense."

We were shopping in the snack street at the time.We spent many weekends like this, walking around, eating and chatting, very happy.

When I stuffed a Thai fish sausage into my mouth, sucked the honey juice on it, bit off the extremely elastic skin, chewed the fragrant fish meat, and then took it out, the little deer said, "I just said you have changed How can you eat a sausage so lewdly!"

I:"……"

7
In fact, it is not unreasonable for Xiaolu to worry about uncle.According to her, a man who hasn't had a girlfriend for too long will definitely be abnormal, and his desire for a partner will gradually exceed the gender limit, even if the other party is a man.And the uncle is exactly the kind of person who hasn't had a girlfriend for a long, long time.It seems that the uncle is indeed a little abnormal. For example, his QQ has a signature file like "What is love? Its other name is Shit" for a while.For example, one night, I bought a watermelon for him to eat.We cut the watermelon into four slices, each took one slice in each of the left and right hands, and stood in front of the window to eat and vomit.Downstairs is the main road, and we saw a bicycle passing by on the motorway.

"Really, there are non-motorized lanes but I don't use them." The uncle frowned.

"And it's carrying people," I said.

"It's still that fast."

"The rider seemed to be a man, and the driver seemed to be a woman."

"..."

"Ah, the woman is still hugging the man's waist! Her face is still leaning on the man's back!"

"Hurry up and hit them with a car!" the uncle shouted hysterically as he threw the watermelon rind onto the road.

It's super abnormal!
8
After moving here, I often chatted with my uncle about things.Once an uncle told me that he lacked the relationship with the opposite sex.I listened for a while and came to the conclusion that this man doesn't know how to please girls.For example, the uncle told me that in a previous unit, he had a female colleague who looked pretty good, but she had fine fluff growing on her lips.Of course it's not a beard, how can a girl grow a beard!The problem is that where the fuzz is, it looks like a beard.The uncle wanted to pick her up, but felt that the beard was unsightly, so one day he kindly said to her: "You should shave your beard."

It is conceivable that the woman's face changed drastically on the spot, and the uncle added a proposal in a simple and honest tone that he thought might develop into a date: "I know what brand of razor and shaving foam are good. Yes, how about I take you to buy it?"

It is said that until the uncle left the unit, the woman never spoke to him again.

9
I have some old photos from a few years ago in my notebook, and I shared them with my uncle one night.When I was in college, I was in full bloom and refreshed, but now, because I have been writing manuscripts at my desk in front of the computer for a long time, I have become a dead house with no good looks.The uncle joked: "Looking at your photos is like reading Togashi Yoshihiro's comics. In the early days, it was a serious version of the network, but now it has become a draft version."

Then the uncle showed me his old photos and asked what happened, I said: "Looking at your photos is like reading Yoshito Usui's manga, no matter in the early days or now, it's just as bad."

The uncle pressed me on the bed and beat me.

(End of this chapter)