Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 7 Xiaolu and her colleagues

1
When I came back from get off work, I passed by a fruit stand and saw a pear seller, so I wanted to buy one. The boss said, "How can I buy only one?" I argued, "I don't have a refrigerator, and the weather is so hot, so I bought too many pears." It will rot." Then I thought about it, there is still uncle, I can live in the place I am now, and I have half of his military medals, and it seems that it is not good for me to eat him, so I bought two.

After returning, I went straight to the uncle’s room as if to ask for credit, and gave him the pears, but he shook his head and refused, saying, “I don’t like pears, I like apples.” I had to eat two pears by myself.

Then when I got off work the next day, I passed by the stall again, and this time I bought two apples directly.When I went back, I gave it to the uncle, and he gladly took it. By the way, he said, "Peaches are very good this season, why don't you buy peaches?"

So on the third day when I bought peaches and came back, he ate them and said, "Give me the peaches, the moisture is really low, it's better to eat pears."

I said: "You finally understand the benefits of pears, then I will buy pears tomorrow."

The uncle said: "Okay."

After a while, I suddenly realized, and said, "Your uncle! Why should I buy fruits according to your preferences!"

2
In fact, the painters are all nerds, they squat at home and paint every day.They accept the paintings as I accept manuscripts, but I still have to go to work during the day.Every day when I come back, I will see the painter in our room standing in front of a huge drawing board and splashing ink. After watching for a long time, I found that his paintings often have the same composition and theme, that is, a group of red fish flopping about in the lotus pond .Xiaolu can also draw, although she usually draws doujinshi with "basic" love.But I think the spirit of artistic creation is common, so I sometimes describe the painter's works to her, and discuss esoteric topics such as "similarity is the executioner who kills art".Then Xiaolu said, let him change the style, some things will be very different if only a little change, for example, let him change the red fish into braised fish, and change the lotus into chrysanthemum.

...What kind of painting is that!That's what you call killing art!
3
I haven't talked about Xiaolu's creation of doujinshi before, so let's talk about it from now on.In fact, I think it is normal for people who are capable of drawing and relatively rotten to want to publish their own books one day. I have also participated in the creation of friends' doujinshi, writing scripts for others.When I first started dating Xiaolu, in order to make her happy, I would often do something to please her.For example, once Xiaolu said that a new doujinshi was about to be released, it was Prince of Tennis, but she was annoyed that there were no good stories so far.In order to solve Xiaolu's problems, one night I took the initiative to write the first BL fan in my life. The excerpts are as follows:
……

Ryoma flew forward to take the ball, and saw the tennis ball shooting towards Gan Zhenzhi's face like a cannonball, "Ahh!" Gan screamed, and his glasses fell to the ground and shattered.

Long Ma was shocked, ran over with a pale face and said, "Is it all right?"

"No, don't look at me! Don't look at me!" He covered his face and turned his head away from anyone who had never seen the secret behind his glasses.

"Let me see! Let me see!" Ryoma involuntarily turned his face away, and he was stunned for a moment.

what!Isn't that the face he dreamed of? !Such a closed moon shames flowers, such a sinking fish and a wild goose.

"Let go, let go, Ryoma..." A few scarlet clouds appeared on Qian's face at some point, and he tried hard to move his gaze elsewhere.

Unexpectedly, not only did Ryoma not let go, but he couldn't help but put his cherry lips together!

"I can't, I can't... um..." The words behind were swallowed by the slap of tongues.

"Ah, no, no, this is a sacred tennis court..." Gan shouted, but was pushed down by Ryoma, and Ryoma's experienced hands were walking on Qian's tennis clothes, and he was completely naked in an instant...

"Ah, ah, Ryoma can't do it..."

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

……

Writing this fanfic made me physically and mentally exhausted with trembling hands and feet, but I think Xiaolu must be able to appreciate my hard work and be deeply moved.So I handed the book to her with great anticipation, and Xiaolu’s reactions were: “What is this?” Unexpectedly, you...I'm so happy for me." "..." "...Well, can I reject the manuscript?" "...Please don't write in the future, I'm serious."

It hit me too hard!My doujin era is over!

4
After watching too many anime and live-action dramas at [-] o'clock, sometimes it is inevitable that a certain opportunity will trigger the switch, and I can't help but want to perform it in real life.For example, that day, when I returned to the dormitory, I just saw the uncle walk into the bathroom and close the door. Immediately, my spirit possessed me, and I ran up and knocked on the door vigorously and shouted: "Uncle! Uncle! Don't do this! Let's sit down and have a good talk! Uncle, don’t hide from me! Listen to my explanation, I can explain! Uncle, talk! Open the door! If you don’t open the door, I will never leave..."

After a while, the sound of flushing water came from behind the door, and then the uncle opened the door with a foul smell and shouted, "Your uncle!"

But this incident seems to have inspired the uncle's acting genes.Later, he began to engage in the interaction with me naturally and tacitly. For example, we would have this conversation before going out every morning:
"Go away! I will never see you again!"

"You think I care about this poor place? I'll show you right now!"

"If you have the ability, don't come back for the rest of your life!"

"No! I'll be back before supper!"

When you have nothing to do, acting has become a wonderful pastime option.For example, once, I wrapped a towel around my head like an Arab woman, and then asked the uncle, "Am I beautiful?"

The uncle glanced at me affectionately and exclaimed: "Beautiful, as beautiful as a fairy."

"I hate it! How can a fairy be compared with others!" I bit the corner of the towel and twisted it, just like the shyness of a water lotus that cannot withstand the cool breeze.

In the end, the uncle actually said: "Enough, I want to vomit." He held his stomach with a horrified expression, "How can you say such perverted words?"

... As long as I don't catch up with this person who suddenly regains consciousness, and don't suddenly find the painter peeking out from the crack of the door, I basically like to play rivalry with the uncle...

5
I am a poor and frugal person, and even the toilet paper I use is one yuan a tube. The paper is very hard, and I wish it could be comparable to coated paper, and it also has a frosted effect.One day the uncle ran out of toilet paper and came to my room to ask for it. When he saw my toilet paper, he was shocked and said, "Is this made by someone?" I said, "No, it was wiped by the butt. Lah." The uncle looked at me with terrified eyes.Then he ran downstairs and bought a lot of Xinxiangyin, and threw away two packs for me to use.It is a kind of removable tissue. My understanding is that it is mostly used to wipe the mouth. Unexpectedly, the uncle uses the same one to wipe his mouth and butt... Holding those two packs of tissue in my hand, I feel particularly conflicted.

6
I have gotten used to the life in this new environment and feel that everything is fine, but there is no shortage of troubles. One of the troubles is that the window in our bathroom is broken and cannot be closed. It can only be opened so that we can have a clear view when taking a shower Enjoy the scenery or feel the cool breeze.I expressed concern about Xiaolu on the phone.

"I'm so scared! Every time I take a shower, I feel that I might be seen naked at any time."

"Don't be seriously afraid of this kind of thing! It's not that I haven't surveyed your bathroom, and the nearest house to your building is also a few hundred meters away, no one will see it!"

"Don't take it lightly, maybe someone will take out a large-magnification astronomical telescope and peep from a distance, so you should still be able to see what he wants to see!"

"...If that person can work so hard to spy on a few big men taking a shower, I think you should let him see it as a reward."

... It makes sense.So I was relieved.

7
I went with Xiaolu to a handicraft store that I usually go to, pointed to the sign and asked her: "Have you been here?" Xiaolu looked at the window at the door of the store and thought for a long time, and said, "I seem to have an impression but I don't seem to have any. I can't help it. It’s not like your house.” Then we went into the shop.

Because he has met the clerk many times, he saw me smiling and nodded, and then he saw the deer behind me, his face turned pale, he opened his arms in front of a shelf of figures and said: "This lady Don’t move your eyes and hands.” Xiao Lu and I both asked what’s wrong, and the clerk pointed at Xiao Lu and said, “Wow, don’t you have any memory? All the figurines are placed in a man-to-man embrace or mouth-to-mouth mode, causing us to be misunderstood by many customers as a gay figurine shop! We almost put you on the lifetime blacklist of our shop! You How dare you not remember it!" Xiao Lu clasped his palms together and said in surprise, "Ah, I remembered! It seems that there is such a thing!"

...I've never felt so ashamed before!

8
I usually spend weekends with Xiaolu, but there are exceptions, because Xiaolu sometimes has his own work and communication to deal with.

This week, the uncle got some coupons for barbecue restaurants, so he invited me and Xiaolu to taste it with him. Unfortunately, Xiaolu couldn't get away and had to give up with hatred. I didn't want to miss the opportunity and decided to go according to plan.Xiaolu was very sad about this, she said: "You are usually inseparable, but you will stay together even on weekends, you don't take my girlfriend seriously."

I said: "What are you talking about, you can't go by yourself, can't you? Don't worry, even if the body is with him, my heart is still with you. Besides, if it wasn't for eating meat, I wouldn't be able to The one who still chooses to face him, there is only carnal desire between me and him."

"Wow..." Xiao Lu actually cried.

9
I have heat stroke.This thief is really too hot.When I came home that day, I was groggy, my limbs were weak, I had no strength to walk, and I had no appetite for food. As soon as I entered the door, I cried to my uncle, "I'm going to die", and then fell on the bed like a piece of wood. .The uncle was shocked, and quickly rummaged through boxes and cabinets to find a box of Huoxiangzheng soda for me.That stuff tastes like cat pee (although I've never drank cat pee), but I do feel a lot better after drinking it.The uncle said: "You don't know how to take care of yourself at all. You don't know how to prevent heat stroke. If it weren't for me..." I expressed my gratitude to the uncle in a breathless voice, and said, "Uncle, you are awesome." The uncle proudly said: "Is this the first time for you?" I said: "Yes." He said: "The first time is always not used to it, no wonder you are so painful. It’s okay, it will be fine if you come a few more times in the future." I have experience, hahaha."

Then the uncle asked me to have a good rest, and he left first.When I opened the door, I happened to see the painter standing at the door, still maintaining a listening posture, and almost put his ear directly against the door.Seeing us, he was a little embarrassed, smiled bitterly and said: "Ha, ha, the first time is good, the first time is good, I'm so envious." Then he left.

What a P!Where did you start listening?What do you think about when others are bedridden due to heat stroke!Still envious, envious of your aunt!You gossip artist!
(End of this chapter)