Deyun: No.1 in Xiaozike, no refund

Chapter 8
10:[-] p.m., [-] minutes before the opening.

Qu Xiaoyun took off the earphones playing light music, got up and moved his body, and changed into a blue coat.

Wang Hui, who was on the side, came over and straightened the folds on his back: "Xiao Yun, your gown is not suitable for you. Later, Master will find someone to make one for you."

Qu Xiaoyun shook his head with a smile: "No need for Mrs. Shi, I can wear it."

Wang Hui patted him lightly: "Stupid boy, what can I do? It's so uncomfortable to be strangled, and it will affect my performance on stage."

Guo Degang, who closed his eyes and meditated, also persuaded: "Listen to your mistress, it's weird to look at the tight ones."

"Thank you Mistress."

"That's right, what color do you like?"

"Any color will do."

"Then choose this color, dress with spirit."

"it is good."

Hou Ye was still playing with the computer in the corner, Xiao Yueyue went to find a friend, but he was not there.

Yu Qian took two sharp puffs of cigarettes, then spit out the smoke and said, "Xiao Yun, don't worry, I will take you to play after the performance!"

Qu Xiaoyun was happy: "Okay, sir, it's kind of you."

……

At two o'clock, the curtain slowly opened.

Seeing that the noisy theater was already full, Qu Xiaoyun felt better after everyone took turns comforting him yesterday.

Lord Hou patted Qu Xiaoyun on the shoulder: "Don't be nervous, just play with the audience in front of me." After speaking, he stepped onto the stage to announce: "Please enjoy the stand-up comedy, performed by Qu Xiaoyun."

Qu Xiaoyun took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage with square steps.

The noisy theater gradually quieted down, but there was still a big gap from when Master came on stage.

Xingmu slammed, and he opened his mouth unhurriedly:

"Golden mountains and bamboo shadows are thousands of years old, clouds lock high and water flows by itself.

The jade belt of the Yangtze River floats thousands of miles away, and a silver moon rolls a golden ball.

It is as far as three thousand miles from Hubei, and as close as sixteen prefectures in the south of the Yangtze River.

The beautiful scenery can't be seen for a while, but the fate of heaven has a share..."

Xingmu slammed again, waiting to interact with the audience.

The audience shouted in unison:

"Swimming in the painting!"

Qu Xiaoyun smirked: "Swim again!"

"Applause!!!"

"another one!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun frowned, pretending to be embarrassed: "There is only one opening poem, and I will make people laugh!"

"In the last stage, I heard that the audience was very vocal about the story of the goblin and the ghost, so I will tell a story about the goblin and the ghost today, okay?"

"it is good!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun nodded: "In the audience, are there any Xiangxi natives or have been to Xiangxi?"

Scattered audiences continued:
"Have!"

Qu Xiaoyun stretched out his hand towards the exit: "Okay, please go out!!!"

"Applause!!!"

"I'm just kidding with everyone, if you bombard your parents, that's just throwing your own jobs away!"

"Xiangxi is the most well-known place for exorcising corpses. I first learned about exorcising corpses in Uncle Ying's zombie series movies. I was only in the second or third grade at that time. It was quite addictive. Now I watch it. It’s a comedy, but when I was young, it wasn’t very scary and I was afraid to watch it, and I loved watching it even though I was afraid.

Now there is a buzzword called Youcai and love to play, I was cowardly and love to watch! "

"Hahaha!"

"In the movie, Uncle Ying is an image of a sorcerer. His apprentice makes trouble, and he cleans up the mess. It can be seen that being a master is not easy. Take this opportunity to praise my master, my master yyds!!! Do you know what yyds means?"

The audience shouted in unison:

"Forever God!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun scratched his head: "It's not forever co-authoring... I misunderstood..."

The audience was amused again.

The mistress behind the scenes also covered her mouth and snickered.

Yu Qian, who was looking with his head, praised: "De Gang, this kid can chat for nothing!"

Guo Degang nodded: "Go back to the backstage."

"kindness."

……

"Because I like this kind of story very much, I made up a long stand-up story. The name of today's story is "The Adventure of the Corpse"!"

"it is good!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun continued: "The origin of the business of chasing corpses is said to be the practice of Chi You, the ancient god of war, who ordered his army divisions to return the souls of fallen soldiers to their hometowns, and thus came into being.

But now the science deciphers, how can the corpse hunter do it? In fact, the corpse chaser uses a bamboo pole to pass through the armpit of the corpse, and the corpse chaser goes to carry the corpse. Bouncing around. "

"In other words, not everyone can be a corpse driver. First of all, you have to be tall, at least 1.7 meters. Take my master as an example. My master is 1.5 meters tall. Let him carry a 1.8-meter corpse. I can’t bear it either, can you guys?”

The audience responded with a smile: "Yes!!!"

"Ordinary people call corpse exorcists mages, and this profession is somewhat mysterious and weird, which requires exorcists to be ugly. It is inappropriate to look like my master and make people want to laugh. It is better to give people a visual It’s a sense of oppression, which my senior brother Shaoyunbing is especially suitable for, it can scare the dog even standing up, how strong the aura is!”

The audience was amused again, looking forward to the next story.

"Again, you have to be courageous. People who drive corpses stay at night and come out at night, and they come into contact with corpses in the dark. It is definitely not for the faint of heart. According to legend, the master trains his apprentices, and he always asks them to go to graves in the mountains, old forests, and wild tombs in the middle of the night. Put away things to practice bravery, this requires the parents of the apprentices and the master to sign an agreement in advance, and the master cannot be blamed for any accidents in the art."

"Look at how courageous people were in those days. How many nights do you people need to be accompanied when you go to the bathroom?"

A female audience booed:
"I!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun lowered his head: "You are so embarrassed to say, I am ashamed for you!"

"Goose goose goose~~" The female audience was amused by goose laughter.

"There is also a male who must be at least 16 years old and has the ability to distinguish directions. The apprentice interview is to stare at the sun and turn around first, and then immediately tell the south, east, north and west after stopping. Lu Chi is definitely not good, and it is easy to lose it with the corpse. "

"Hahaha!!!"

"The reason why exorcising corpses exists in western Hunan is because of the special geographical environment. People who go out to earn a living will inevitably die in other places. Everyone pays attention to returning to their roots, and because of the geographical environment, waterways and vehicles are not suitable. Therefore, there are For the business of exorcising corpses."

"I'm from Liaocheng. I haven't been to Xiangxi, and I'm not familiar with the place names, but it's easy to do. Let's make up a random one, so that the audience will take out their mobile phones to check it after I finish talking. If I don't have it, I will be shy. "

"Let's change the Xiangxi area to the Yinchuan area. Why did we use this name? It sounds bluffing. It's better to turn off the lights in the theater and listen to me. It will be more atmospheric!"

"Applause!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun thought for a while: "No, I can't turn off the light and tell me, what if a female hooligan comes on stage to take advantage of me?"

The male audience applauded excitedly when the lights were turned off:

"it is good!!!"

"Shut up!!!"

The female audience laughed and shouted:

"shameless!"

Qu Xiaoyun smiled disapprovingly: "Shameless? What kind of face do I need when I talk about cross talk???"

"Applause!!!"

"Hahaha!!!"

　Those who don't like stand-up jokes can skip it without affecting reading.Book friends who don’t know stand-up, you can read it as a short story to understand.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)