Deyun: No.1 in Xiaozike, no refund

Chapter 9 The Story Begins

Qu Xiaoyun had a smirk on his face: "Since we have changed the place names, let's make up a random dynasty, how about the Dade dynasty? The emperor Guo Degang, the empress Yu Qian.

The emperor knows how to sing opera for a day without paying attention to the government, and the empress knows how to burn her head by smoking and drinking. "

The audience applauded:

"Hahaha!!!"

"it is good!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun nodded: "The story happened in the Dade period, in the Yinchuan area."

"The protagonist of the story is Wu Feng. The child was abandoned by his parents and brought up by his master. The master's name is Wu Dayong. It's such a good name. It sounds useless..."

"Hahaha!!!"

"Why did you name your apprentice Wu Feng? Because Wu Dayong was a bit useless in his life and was always bullied, he wanted to make his apprentice a bit rough, so he named him Feng, but he ignored his surname. It's gone!"

"Hahaha!!!"

"Wu Dayong is more than 40 years old. He is a mortician. He is ugly and has little money. Although this business is doing good deeds, dealing with corpses all day is unacceptable to ordinary people. They are not married. The father and father are dependent on each other. Life is very hard.

If you want to have your head shaved and pedicures in order to survive, you must have a skill, and Wu Dayong has no other skills, so he taught Wu Feng the skill of removing corpses.

It can also be regarded as the patriarch's meal, God can't starve to death blind sparrows.Apart from being handsome, Wu Feng didn't meet the requirements, everything else was suitable.

At the age of 16, he grew to 1.8 meters tall. The young man also has strength all over his body. In addition, he often crosses mountains and mountains with his master to familiarize himself with the terrain. His physical fitness is excellent, and he can walk alone to work. "

"Before heading out, Wu Dayong prepared the clothes worn by the mortician, the dementor bell, the yellow talisman, and a series of other things that can be used on the road. The two of you usually only eat meat during the New Year and festivals. Wu Dayong gritted his teeth and walked more than ten miles to the county market to buy him half a pack of sauced beef."

"Everyone, a poor family is rich and poor. If you don't have money, you can endure it at home. It's expensive. I can eat something cheap, or I can stay at home and not go out. I can bear it no matter how poor I am at home. I can't go out. , You have to bring clothes, dry food, and money when you go out, and you have to stay in a hotel to eat!"

"Wu Dayong is well aware of this truth, and gave more than half of his family's savings to his disciples, just for fear of encountering difficulties along the way."

"The master loves the apprentice, and the apprentice loves the master."

"Wu Feng said yes, but what he thought in his heart was that he would go out to work, so he would go to work a few more times and earn more money to buy a gift for Master."

"After bidding farewell to Master, Wu Feng embarked on the road to Chuancheng. The book should be brief, there is nothing to say on the road, and we arrived in Chuancheng this day.

Why go to Chuancheng?

Because at this time the autumn is high and the air is crisp, it is the time of autumn.

The prisoners knelt in a row and shivered, and the common people pointed and talked.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, the beheading officer issued an order, and the executioner raised the ghost-head knife in his hand, and the knife fell with his hand, and the head fell to the ground.

The common people who watched the excitement gradually dispersed, and the second cobbler stitched up the corpse. Because of the special clothes, someone came after him after a while. "

"I would like to mention here that the mortician is not able to remove all corpses, and there are rules, the so-called three times and three times.

Beheading, hanging, and standing in cages, these three kinds of forced death corpses can be driven away, because those who are forced to die are not convinced, and they miss their hometown and relatives, so they can lead their souls to return home.

You can rush after talking, and you can't rush after talking.

First of all, the dead body cannot be driven away, because the soul of the dead person is taken away by the king of hell, and the dead body artisan cannot compete with the king of hell.

Secondly, corpses thrown into rivers and hanged should not be chased away. This kind of folk saying is a substitute for lonely souls and wild ghosts, and they should not be embarrassing for reincarnation.

In the end, the lightning could not be chased away by the fire, and the burned body was incomplete. The person who was struck by the lightning had committed too many crimes during his lifetime, and he was condemned by God and was not worthy of returning home.

From this, it can be concluded that violent death and a whole corpse can only be driven away by divine punishment, and the rest cannot. "

"Everyone, how easy is storytelling? You have to explain all aspects to everyone. There are a lot of people who talk about cross talk, no matter whether it is true or not. There are only two storytellers who can't pretend to be fake. The real storytellers are also good. Not ten, of course I don’t count, my master counts as one!”

The audience applauds:

"You count!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun was happy: "Jiangshan elders can tolerate me, and don't let the world make money. Thank you for your support. I will work hard and strive to become one tenth!"

"it is good!!!"

"Waiting until dark, Wu Feng went out of the city and waited at the appointed place. After the client delivered the corpse and handed it over, he began to practice."

"Everyone, after all, it's a story about haunted goblins and haunted ghosts. It's just a fantasy story. It's boring to carry a bamboo pole around."

"Wu Feng first smeared cinnabar on the forehead, chest, navel, left and right palms, and left and right soles of the corpse, and pressed them with talismans to seal the dead's seven souls.

Then stuff cinnabar into the ears, nose, and mouth of the deceased, and then stuff the talisman tightly to block the three souls of the deceased.

Put the tall blanket cap on the head of the corpse, and mutter something..."

Qu Xiaoyun whispered softly, as if whispering: "Everyone, you come today, the ticket price is too valuable, I will tell you the lost spell quietly, listen carefully, I will say it again!"

"it is good!!!"

Qu Xiaoyun cleared his throat: "Come with me, set off when it gets dark, your life is gone, you will not be afraid, there is a place, that is your hometown..."

The audience was rocked by this nonsense spell.

Qu Xiaoyun was also amused: "Everyone, I don't know what spell I'm chanting, but I think the song "Happy Hometown" fits the scene quite well. It's all about going home, so I adapted it a little."

"Applause!!!"

"Hahaha!!!"

"After the incantation was finished, the corpse rose up in response to the sound, following behind Wu Feng."

"Yin people go on the road, Yang people avoid!"

……

　I searched the Internet for books about cross talk or Deyun, and the jokes are all counterparts, but I didn't find that the jokes were stand-up comics.The reason why I used the jokes as stand-up comics is because I really like listening to Mr. Guo's stand-up comics. I have listened to the stories and there are also amusing parts in the stories.

　　And just like Chapter 1 said, Xiao Yueyue and Xiao Zhuier already have their own advantages. The protagonist who has no system and no rebirth thinks that Huo needs to have his own advantages, so he is designed to be a good stand-up comic. (Chapter [-] has an introduction to stand-up comedy)
　　
　
(End of this chapter)