The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 16 Understand the body language of men when they lie (1)
There are traces to see through a man's lies
Lies and falsehoods of deceit are often repulsive.When men try their best to conceal the reality, they also distort their original intentions. Therefore, many women cannot tolerate men's deception.When some men speak deceitfully, how to find their flaws?Although they can lie verbally, their bodies are not good at lying. As long as you pay attention to these unavoidable movements when lying, you can easily expose men's lies.

Many people think that looking away is a sign of lying.This, they assume, is because the liar feels guilty, guilty, and anxious, making it difficult to look directly at the person being lied to, so he looks away.But that's not the case.

The pattern of gaze is rather fluid.Some liars look away, while others increase the amount of time they spend looking at others.Because the gaze is easily controlled, a liar can use his eyes to reinforce the impression that he is being honest.Knowing that other people perceive gaze aversion as a sign of lying, many liars do the exact opposite, deliberately looking more at the other person to give the impression they are telling the truth.So if you want to know if someone is lying, don't limit yourself to eye contact.Also pay attention when someone is looking at you more intently than usual!
Another putative sign of lying is rapid eye blinking.When we get excited or our minds are racing, there is a corresponding increase in our blink rate.The average human blink rate is about 20 times per minute, but when we feel stressed, it may increase by four or five times.People tend to get excited when they're lying, or when a liar is looking for an answer to an awkward question, their minds race.In this case, lying does have something to do with blinking.But we have to remember that sometimes a man blinks quickly, not because he is lying, but because he is stressed.

Also, some liars have a very normal blink rate.

Restlessness and unnatural hand movements were also seen as signs of lying.According to this hypothesis, men become restless when they lie, which puts their hands in tense movements.There is a class of postures called "adaptive movements", which include touching hair, scratching the scalp, or rubbing two hands together.People sometimes feel guilty or fear being found out when they lie.This worry can lead them to make "adaptive actions."This tends to happen when the stakes are high or the liar is not a good liar.More often than not, however, the opposite happens.Likewise, because liars are afraid of revealing themselves, they will deliberately control their daily behavioral habits.They may not be more active as a result, but less!

Like the eyes, hand movements can often be brought under conscious control, which is why hands are not a reliable source of information about lies.Other parts of the body, although also under conscious control, are not noticed and easily overlooked.They can often provide an effective source of clues about lies.Research on lying behavior has shown that when a man is lying, the lower part of the body provides more information than the upper part of the body.When videos of people are shown to other people to judge who is lying and who is telling the truth, the judgments tend to be accurate if the lower parts of the body are filmed.Apparently, having legs or feet is an undervalued piece of information for a liar to judge a lie.It seems that liars focus their efforts on the hidden parts of their hands, arms, and face because they know that other people will observe these parts.Since the feet are hidden, liars don't notice them.However, often a slight movement adjustment of the feet or legs can betray them!
One of the gestures to reveal a lie is "cover your mouth".When this happens, it looks as if the liar is very vigilant in covering up the source of the fraud.He assumed that if people couldn't see his mouth, they wouldn't be able to tell where lies came from. There are many movements of "covering the mouth", including completely covering the mouth with the hand, supporting the chin with the hand, and gently touching the corner of the mouth with a finger.By putting his hand over or near his mouth, the liar acts like a criminal who cannot resist the temptation to return to the scene of the crime.And this is exactly the same as the criminal, because the movement of the hand reveals itself to the observer.At any time, others can know that mouth touching is an attempt to cover up a lie.

However, men who lie also have an alternative to touching their mouths, which is to touch their noses.By touching his nose, he experienced the instant comfort of covering his mouth without risking drawing attention to what he was doing.In this maneuver, touching the nose is an alternative to covering the mouth.It's a sneaky body language that looks like someone is scratching his nose, but his real intention is to cover his mouth.

There is also an idea that touching the nose is a sign of deceit, but the action has nothing to do with the mouth.Proponents of this view Alan Hirsch, together with Charles Wolfe, provided a detailed analysis of Bill Clinton's August 1998 testimony to the grand jury.At the time the president denied ever having an affair with Monica Lewinsky.They found that when Clinton told the truth, he barely touched his nose, but when he lied about his affair with Monica Lewinsky, he touched it every four minutes on average.Hirsch called this "Pinocchio syndrome."This is named after that famous fairy tale character.Every time the character finishes telling a lie, the wooden nose grows longer.Hirsch pointed out that when people lie, the nose will become congested, which can be relieved by touching or rubbing the nose.

There are at least two arguments against the term "Pinocchio syndrome."One that thinks nose touching is just a sign of nervousness, not a sign of lying.Another idea is that when men are lying, they feel anxiety and fear of being found out, and these emotions are related to the depletion of blood in the face.In other words, it causes blood vessels to constrict, not dilate.That's the view of Mark Frank of Rutgers University.Frank also points out that experimental research on lying has shown that touching the nose is not a common sign of deceit.Of course, this may be because touching the nose did not appear in the experimental site.The stakes are low there, and even if the lie is exposed, the costs people pay for it are not too high.There's also the possibility that nose-touching isn't a sign of fraud for everyone, and it might just be a trademark body language tactic for some, including Clinton.

Finally, there is the possibility that nose touching has nothing to do with lying or anxiety, but is an unconscious form of rejection.Ray Birdwhis Dale believes that when a person wipes his nose in front of another person, he reveals that he does not like the other person.As he points out: To Americans, rubbing your nose is as much a sign of rejection as the word "No."On this interpretation, Bill Clinton's nose-touching in front of the grand jury could be seen as a sign of his deep distaste for his interrogators, not as a clue that he was lying to them.

Surrounding this debate, there are still unresolved questions: What exactly do we mean when we say someone is lying?Does that mean we know he's lying, or do we have to believe he's not telling the truth?As Mark Frank pointed out, this issue is closely related to the Bill Clinton case and his testimony about his affair with Lewinsky.It was assumed that Clinton knew he was lying.Others insisted that, based on Clinton's definition of sex and the way he constructed the evidence, he wasn't lying at all.This brings up an interesting problem: Some people have to convince themselves that they are not lying, while others are convinced from the start that they are telling the truth.Is there a difference in behavior between these two groups of people?
In addition, if a man is lying, then when he chooses a sitting position, there will be a big difference from ordinary people or his usual state.Since the sitting posture is a posture formed by the cooperation of various parts of the body, if a liar wants to cover up his lies, he must coordinate his posture, but things are not so easy, maybe it is the effect of pressure, they are always difficult. Sit comfortably.

The way a liar sits usually reflects their inner worries and fears.Facing the pressure of being exposed, they are often unwilling to face the listener head-on during the conversation, but show people from the side, and often look at the ground.It seems that once he is found out, he will walk away immediately.This is also a manifestation of the liar's desire to avoid other listeners, and he does not want to expose the truth to everyone.

The body kept moving.This type of liar obviously hasn't prepared their lines yet, and they keep changing their sitting positions to relieve the pressure caused by their guilty conscience.Often, before a topic is started, their sitting postures have already changed several times.At the same time, their legs may continue to shake, hoping to get rid of this restless state of mind as soon as possible.

Many people find that it is easy to expose themselves by constantly moving their bodies, so when they lie, they try to control themselves not to move, so that people believe that they are expressing peacefully and truthfully.But if it continues for too long, this sitting posture will appear very rigid, excessive tension and self-control, and even make them feel sore muscles in the lower back.Therefore, when you see a person sitting too rigidly and rigidly, you have to carefully consider how much of what he said is true.

Finally, don't forget that while there is no surefire way to spot a lie, there are things you can do to increase your chances of spotting a liar.

To successfully detect a lie, you need to set your standards neither high nor low.This way you avoid coming to the conclusion that either no one ever lied, or that everyone lied all the time.

Whenever possible, compare the behavior of a person when he is thought to be lying with his behavior when he is telling the truth.

If you have the chance, focus more on what he said and how he said it than on what he did.

It's important to figure out whether that lie might be spontaneous or rehearsed, low-stakes or high-stakes.The task of identifying a lie is much more difficult when the stakes are low or the lie has been rehearsed.

To spot a lie, one should also always be on the lookout for broader behavioral and verbal cues.It would be delusional to assume that a man who is lying can be spotted by a single clue.

Common Gestures When Men Are Lying
Every gesture is part of a huge body language system, just like individual words in a whole sentence. We not only need to recognize the relationship between words, but also grasp the meaning of the whole sentence through the context.When a man puts his hand to his face, it doesn't necessarily mean he's lying.This kind of gesture just shows that he may deliberately conceal some information, and by further observing his other gestures, you can confirm or dispel your guess.Therefore, it is very important to avoid interpreting individual gestures in isolation.

Although we can't judge whether a man is lying based on any single gesture or facial expression, as long as we systematically master some gestures that are related to each other, the probability of detecting lies will be greatly improved.

1. Cover your mouth with your hand
Covering the mouth subconsciously with the hand indicates that the liar is trying to restrain himself from uttering those lies.Sometimes people cover their mouths with a few fingers or a clenched fist, but the meaning is the same, and some men will pretend to cough to cover up their mouth covering gesture.

(End of this chapter)