The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 15 Signals released by the body when a man is in a weak state

Show body signs of nervousness

I don’t know if you have noticed that when a man is in a state of tension, he will always subconsciously make some habitual small movements, and these small movements can also reveal a lot of useful information, thus becoming a body language signal that reveals a man’s inner tension.

1. Clear the throat

Everyone has had the experience that when preparing to start a more formal and solemn speech, the throat will suddenly close so that no sound can be made. It is due to anxiety or anxiety that the mucus forms in the throat and blocks the vocal tract.In order for the voice to return to normal, it is necessary to clear the throat.Some people are seen as a quirk because they clear their throats from time to time, but it's just a matter of nervousness.So, men who keep clearing their throats and changing their tone of voice when they speak, indicate that they are very nervous, restless or anxious.There is a physiological reason for this. Due to restlessness or anxiety, mucus forms in the throat, prompting him to clear his throat first to restore his voice to normal.

But in more cases, clearing the throat is no longer a physical need, but to appease one's nervous heart.For example, when a man is suddenly called by the boss to speak, the man will subconsciously clear his throat to buy himself more time to think, in order to sort out a set of rhetoric.Often, men who keep clearing their throats and changing their tone of voice, either because of illness or because they are restless or anxious, are seeking confidence.

Men do this more than women, and adults more than children.Young children may stammer, stammer "ah," or habitually say "you know," but they usually don't clear their throats.If an adult man deliberately clears his throat, it may be a non-verbal warning to others.But whether the throat is cleared intentionally or not, the gesture can clearly communicate a person's state of mind.

2. Pull the edge of the clothes by hand
When a man speaks, if he shows a gesture of pulling his clothes with his hands, it means that the man is not sure of what he said, and he is in a state of emotional tension.Many parents are familiar with this position, and it's a common reaction when young children tense up to answer some question they're not sure about.If he didn't hold anything in his hands, he would answer while pulling the hem of his clothes with his hands.

3. Smoking
When a man is smoking, if he suddenly becomes very nervous, he will put out the cigarette or put it on the ashtray and let it burn until the tension is relieved.An anxious smoker may keep tapping the cigarette on the ashtray to flick the ash off.And pipe-smoking men may prolong the routine of cleaning, filling, and lighting.

4. Fidget
When men feel stressed or bored, they often fidget in a chair until they feel comfortable.In fact, the problem was not whether the chair was comfortable or not, but the environment and situation he was in at that time made him feel uncomfortable.

In addition to the above small details that express inner tension, some other detailed actions can also express the same meaning. For example, when a man feels anxious, he will constantly adjust his watch strap, check his wallet, clasp his hands, and play with his sleeves. Or do anything that crosses your arms across your chest.After the mobile phone has become a general-purpose product, we often see people playing with their mobile phones in public. Those who often play with their mobile phones in silence mostly use this to cover up their discomfort.

In addition, the briefcase is also a protective barrier and can be a tool for inner peace.For example, when holding a business meeting, those men in the workplace who lack a sense of security usually use briefcases or hold folders in front of their chests to build a visible line of defense in front of their chests to cover up their inner tension. Or anxiety, from which to obtain some sense of security.

body language under stress
People who are about to testify in court always hide their lips, which shows that they are under a lot of pressure.In times of stress, hiding your lips is an all-too-common response.Men often make lip-squeezing movements, as if the brain is telling us to keep our mouths shut and not let anything get into them.

When a man squeezes his lips frequently, a woman pays attention to it. This action is a reflection of negative emotions. It clearly indicates that this man is in trouble or that something is wrong.This behavior rarely has positive connotations, and probably never does.But that doesn't mean there was some kind of cheating on the part of those who did it, it just means they were under a lot of stress.

Under normal circumstances, people can hide their lips, but they can only squeeze them into a line, and most people can't make an inverted U-shaped mouth.Why?Because it's a limbic response of the brain, it's hard to imitate, and it only shows up when we're really distressed or sad.

Frowning is common when men are feeling anxious, sad, preoccupied, worried, overwhelmed, or angry.The meaning of this behavior depends on its context.For example, I once saw a supermarket cashier frown as he pulled out the drawer of the cash register to count the cash. His expression showed a kind of deliberation and concentration, because he hoped to sort out the problems in the last moments of his shift. ledger.

It's also interesting that as people age and experience more life, the furrows on the forehead get deeper and deeper, eventually becoming permanent wrinkles.We know that smile lines are the cumulative result of positive non-verbal behaviors throughout a lifetime, and it reflects a happy life.In the same way, people with furrowed eyebrows are likely to have a rough life.

Nail biting is a sign of stress, insecurity or discomfort.If you see a man doing this behavior, you can basically conclude that the nail biting man is not confident in himself or is at a disadvantage in negotiations.Young people who are interviewing for a job or waiting for a date should avoid this gesture, not only because it looks unsightly, but also because it sends an "I'm uncomfortable" signal to others.People bite their nails not because they need grooming, but because doing so comforts us.

Signal against gravity.The old saying "Keep your chin up" (by extension, "Don't lose heart") is often used to encourage those who are downhearted or in misfortune.This folk wisdom unmistakably reflects the brain's limbic response to disaster, with down-jawed men looking less confident and negative, while up-chinned men tend to be in some sort of positive mood.

This theory of judgment also applies to the nose.The raised nose is also a posture that defies gravity, as well as a highly assertive nonverbal behavior.When a man is stressed or depressed, his jaw (and nose, since both parts always act in unison) don't lift very high.

In addition, when men are tense or stressed, they will unconsciously make certain actions: touch or massage the neck.There are many nerve endings in the human neck, as long as a little massage, it can effectively reduce blood pressure and heart rate, and eliminate tension.In addition, massaging the forehead or touching the earlobe are also actions that men will appear when they are nervous.In addition, a man pulling a tie also represents the same meaning.

When a man takes a deep breath or talks more, women should also pay attention.Deep breathing is the easiest way to instantly calm down, so when you see a man taking deep breaths, you know he's probably suppressing his emotions.Or the other party is not very talkative during the process, but suddenly talks more, which also means that his mood has become unstable.

When men are nervous, they will unconsciously rub their hands on their thighs back and forth, trying to calm their emotions, so this action is also an important clue.In addition, some men sometimes act quickly and make decisive decisions, usually to hide their lack of confidence.Truly confident men make deliberate decisions, rather than making decisions without thinking, rushing to show their confidence.

When you observe the above behaviors of a man, you can decide according to the situation whether you want to pursue the victory, force him to agree to your request, or say something to make him relax, so as to facilitate the next exchange and communication.

when bad mood strikes

In daily life, everyone will inevitably fall into the trough of bad emotions. At this time, the body in a weak state will release various silent language signals to remind others and ourselves.You must be familiar with the following situations, and the accompanying body language men often use them intentionally or unintentionally.

When someone asks "how's it going?", an overworked man might say "I've had enough, I've reached this limit" and raise one hand, palm down, to his forehead , to further clarify the extent of "this limit".In this gesture, the hand symbolizes the height of the water level at which it imagines it would drown itself.

On some occasions, you will see that if a man is "talking" or says something he shouldn't, he may quickly stick his tongue out to show that he is extremely embarrassed.

And when men are embarrassed by the realization that they have done something stupid, they may claim that they are stupid and should punish themselves.So, with similar self-blame, they will pretend to hit themselves at the same time.Usually they will choose to slap on 4 parts of the body: cheeks, forehead, top of head, back of neck.Interestingly, related studies have shown that where the slaps land on the body shows not only self-criticism, but also the seriousness of the matter.

Even more dramatic, if men feel they have been socially disrespected or made a fool of themselves, or that everything in their life is not going their way, sometimes for emphasis, they may claim that they almost "suicide".And when they say that, they make a suicidal gesture at the same time.Of course, this mostly occurs in joking situations.

Many men who are discouraged and in low spirits may shuffle along, put their hands in their pockets, and/or—head bowed, hunched over.

In addition, when men feel unsure, nervous, or bored, they may unconsciously make aimless, "meaningless" movements with their hands, feet, or eyes: scratching their heads; pinching their eyelids; hanging their heads Sitting with eyes fixed on the floor or a spot on the opposite wall; placing hands on tie as if to adjust it, which is actually very straight; fumbling with ring on finger, possibly removing and putting it back on Go up; tap your fingers on the arm of a chair, or tap your foot on the floor...

Many of these movements occur in everyday situations, such as those that might be seen in a doctor's waiting room, in people waiting for an interview, or in a traffic jam.All of this, the researchers believe, could indicate tension in the face of frustration and anxiety.

There are also some actions related to the mouth that are performed unconsciously when bad emotions strike, such as biting nails or sucking thumbs; taking off glasses and putting one of the temples in the mouth; Sucking pens or pencils, etc. at times, in this way, people try to get back the sense of security that they had when they sucked their mother's milk when they were babies, so as to alleviate the negative effects of bad emotions.

"shut off" the world
Sometimes, men will suffer from greater stress or frustration. At this time, crossing arms, legs or making unconscious movements are far from alleviating these terrible emotional states. Go back to your own protective shell, even deliberately isolate yourself, shut out the crisis-ridden world, and recharge your batteries to wait for a better time.

When great pressure first begins to appear, almost all men will show the following unconscious eye behaviors to "cut off" line of sight communication, allowing themselves to temporarily obtain buffer time and space.

When a man is stressed, he looks quickly at the speaker and then continues to look away from the speaker.Or despite talking to or listening to another person, the man feeling tense may spend a lot of time looking away.Sometimes the man looked into the speaker's eyes, but his eyelids trembled slightly from time to time.Some nervous men are also looking into the speaker's eyes, but his blinking will last for several seconds, and even give people a feeling that they will close their eyes if they can't help it.

More often than not, men who feel stressed try to retreat into their own world.We are all familiar with those who study in the library. Many people like to support their elbows on the table, and then support their heads with the thumbs and index fingers of both hands, as if forming protection for their eyes. It is trying to block those scenes that distract him, and return himself a quiet and safe small world.

Men who are overwhelmed and unable to recover from a major shock or setback due to a catastrophic event, such as the death of a loved one or the loss of everything they own, often choose to isolate themselves intensely.They huddled their bodies tightly together, buried their heads between their knees, and clasped their knees tightly with their hands.This posture indicates an attempt to completely "shut out" the horrors of the outside world.

In contrast, men behaved very differently when they were in situations where they felt relaxed and comfortable, compared to those who were under stress.If they are fully awake, their posture and movements are likely to appear more candid and less defensive than someone who is anxious or nervous.When they're relaxed, they're more likely to sit or lie down at will, rather than constricting and inhibiting like those who feel out of place.

(End of this chapter)