The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 21 Understanding Men's Marriage Psychology (2)
——He who didn't pay much attention to his appearance in the past suddenly became more particular.In the past, you needed to be urged repeatedly to change the shirt, but now you are very conscious.The hair has also become tidy, and the leather shoes have been polished very brightly.

- Work suddenly became busy.The time to get off work is getting later and later, and I often have to work overtime or have entertainment at night and on holidays.

——There has been no major consumption at home recently, but his wallet is empty very quickly.The extra income such as bonuses that I used to get back suddenly disappeared, and even the money in the family passbook decreased inexplicably.

——Turn off the sound on the phone and change it to vibrate, or do not answer the call, or hide on the balcony or another room to listen to the call.

— A sudden change in taste in dress, smoking, drinking, and other habits of life.

-Suddenly becoming critical and impatient with your appearance and behavior.I don't want to go shopping with you or go out in public places, and I don't care more and more about things at home.

——He who has always been inconsiderate to you suddenly shows you great hospitality for no reason, helping you with housework or giving you gifts.

——Sex life between husband and wife has become less.Raising sexual demands to you is less and less.

Although the above situations cannot [-]% prove that he is definitely having an affair, if he has all the above phenomena, it means that your marriage is already in a sub-healthy state. As a wife, you should pay special attention.How to eliminate the sub-health state in your marriage, how to restore his gradually indifferent emotion and heart, and how to let the marriage enter the second honeymoon period are all things you must do.

Men's derailment mostly occurs when they are around 40 years old, which is closely related to their psychological characteristics.

Middle-aged men, they no longer have the childishness of teenagers and the frivolity of young people, but are more calm and calm.With the accumulation of experience and knowledge, their abilities gradually increase, their talents gradually show, and their achievements in work become more and more eye-catching, and their achievements in career inevitably make many women feel admiration and admire.

But at this time, many women, just because of the unforgiving years, their faces are gradually aging, their bodies are out of shape, and because of years of hard work, they neglect the improvement of personal knowledge and self-cultivation, and become unattractive at all.

At this time, it is quite normal for a man to feel somewhat disgusted in his heart.Who doesn't yearn for beauty?Who doesn't yearn for excellence?Who wouldn't want his wife to make progress together with him?

So, don't stubbornly think that a man's cheating has nothing to do with you.The two people who can get to the stage of marriage must have been in love with each other at the beginning, and they have a certain emotional foundation.When there is a crisis in the relationship, we should first think, is the relationship really dead, gone, or changed?Or is it just an illness?

Are cheating men bad bread?

In the long course of a marriage, couples who are never dirty are uncommon. ——even if there is, their feelings will be questioned: Could it be that they have become indifferent to each other?
Relatively speaking, women have higher requirements for the quality of life, so they see more sand in life.Men's careless romantic mistakes often become a deep injury to their wives.

Back then, a young White House intern Monica Lewinsky was inserted between former US President Bill Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton. For a while, people all over the world were waiting to see their jokes.

The dignity of Hillary, a strong woman who has always been strict with herself in the eyes of the public, has almost been trampled to nothing.Comments swirled, with some saying it was a big transactional marriage and others asking how she could possibly take it any longer.

In the memoir "Living History", Hillary answered them, she wrote: "I can only answer is the love between us, decades of love, years of experience together, raising daughters and supporting parents together, having A mutual good friend, a common belief, a common obligation to our country..." In January 2001, when Hillary Clinton successfully ran for the New York State Assembly and Clinton's term came to an end, she realized that she still wanted to maintain their She loves Clinton and cherishes the time spent with him. She hopes that they can grow old together...

In the face of this sudden disaster, Hillary showed her resolute character. She calmly declared that she still loved Clinton, flew to various places with him as usual, and spread the picture of a family of three loving each other all over the world.

We can't rule out that there are some political factors in Hillary's performance, but her peace and calm can still lead many hurt women out of disappointment and confusion.

Some people say that professional women suffer more than traditional women in the face of an affair, which is not unreasonable.Because professional women have a relatively strong self-awareness, which in itself makes them sensitive and vulnerable.Secondly, professional women are often more educated than traditional women, which makes them pay too much attention to their self-esteem and do not want to lose their self-esteem in front of their husbands.

In many cases, good education often becomes the resistance of knowledgeable women when problems arise.At this time, we must try to free ourselves from the shackles of upbringing, and tell ourselves that upbringing should enable me to obtain better psychological quality and become the motivation for me to solve problems.In this way, you will soon be able to let go of the burden of parenting, face up to the problem at hand, and learn to focus on the problem.

One thing you have to do is ask yourself, do you still love him?If you can't answer for a while, it doesn't matter, you don't need to push yourself.

Sleep in first, then retrace your steps from the past with mementos you can find (pictures of the two of you, presents he bought you, etc.).If the memories of the past can bring you warmth, it means that your love is still there; if you are no longer moved, try to choose again.If you think of his good points and find that you can't give up on him no matter what, you have to follow your inner instinct.Think about it carefully, there is no gold, no one is perfect, if you can confirm that you really love him, you have to take practical actions to prove your love.

After all, your husband and wife already have a relationship, and thinking about his past can help you make a judgment now.If you find that his affair is inevitable, ask yourself what you want in order to make plans for your future; if his affair is just an accident, you'd better forgive him and give him a chance to repent.

In short, men are prone to commit some romantic crimes, which can be big or small, the key depends on the attitude of the person involved.You have to make a choice first, would you rather be a piece of jade than a tile, or just let the breeze wrinkle a pool of spring water?There is no reason to talk about it. Whether the shoes of marriage are suitable or not is really only known by the feet.

When a man cheats, it's better to dissolve it than to destroy it

A marriage expert described men cheating like this: You bought a Rolls-Royce sports car and regarded it as a treasure, but one day, its paint surface was scratched by another car, and you threw your beloved Rolls-Royce in a fit of anger. Is Sless thrown away like trash?

Obviously not, go to the maintenance center to repaint and it will be OK.

Women all understand this truth. In fact, many women accept their husbands who have gone astray with their tolerant mind.People are still the people of the past, and the days are still the days of the past, but the heart is like broken glass, which can never return to its usual appearance.

He is a successful man with a tender wife and a young lover whom he loves and cannot let go of.Indeed, his wife gives him warmth, and his lover gives him passion. He seems unable to choose and is in a dilemma.

His wife proposed a divorce, but he firmly refused.The three dragged on for a long time, and his wife turned from sad and angry to indifferent and helpless towards him.In the end he chose his wife and abandoned his lover.

The parents of both parties came forward to ask the wife to be more tolerant. Neither the parents-in-law wanted to lose such a good daughter-in-law, nor did her own parents want her to get a divorce. After all, she did not make a mistake, so why should she bear such harm?

The wife knew that she still loved him, otherwise she wouldn't forgive him, after all she couldn't bear it.However, trust in him could not be re-established no matter what.She didn't know when this man would grow up and mature enough to reassure her.If I always manage my marriage with a state of fear, is there still a need to maintain it?

The wife is very contradictory, so although everything seems to be safe on the surface, she is not happy, but worried.Facing his closeness as always, she was a little disgusted and resisted.She would unconsciously think that he had been so gentle to that girl before, would he miss her in his heart?
Seeing her husband's growing dissatisfaction, the wife knew that she couldn't always refuse him like this.However, there was nothing she could do.She also began to have new worries. If she has been so "cold", will she give him a reason to cheat again?However, the more anxious I became, the more wronged I became. What did I do wrong to fall into such a passive situation?
The cheating husband came home, he returned to you like a child who made a mistake, and even swore that "you are still my favorite"; he was anxious to get you forgiveness of...

But you need time to let yourself find the feeling of loving him again, including accepting him again.At this time, you have mixed feelings: How should you face this cheating husband?
Indeed, after your husband comes back, various problems will arise. After the "big conflict" of "whether the marriage broke up when he cheated" fades away, more new conflicts will emerge, and you need to face them in time and resolve.

People are often not as "great" as they think, and tolerance always has a limit.For an injured woman, it will take half a year to two to three years to restore, or re-establish, the happiness of marriage. This process is not easy.

From a woman's point of view, every detail that can be worked hard should be cherished, because this is a good start after all, and the husband and wife can build a bridge through hard work.

For example, let him cook and wash clothes with you. Although you may feel that it is more convenient for you to do it yourself, and your husband is clumsy and unable to help, in fact, such subtle family life exchanges are a very good bond. agent.It's okay if your hubby is clumsy, it might bring some good laughs to both of you.

Don't ignore the role of holding hands and hugging. This relatively "primary" intimacy can subtly improve the psychological shadow of the woman, and at the same time let the husband feel the efforts of the wife instead of endless blame.

Communication is necessary, but talking endlessly about the past is undoubtedly reviving unpleasant memories.It is not necessary for him to admit his mistakes and make a self-examination to make you feel balanced. This kind of "communication" can only make him discouraged and stay away, or in other words, really stay away.

In fact, after the cheating incident broke out, the man has already been punished first.For a respectable man, divorce is a very heavy blow.When the affair is exposed, the wife cries for divorce, or the affair develops to the point where the lover asks for marriage, the conflicts in his heart will be very intense, and he will even be miserable, as if he has aged several years.

Therefore, what women should pay more attention to is not to repeat the hurt you have suffered, but how to give him a chance to make up for it, and let each other understand each other during this time, so as to enhance and deepen the relationship as much as possible.If you can't adjust your mentality for a long time, it is recommended that you go to a professional psychological counseling institution for help, and at the same time carry out the necessary health checks to determine whether there are pathological reasons.

In short, a marriage is built and maintained by two people working together. Sometimes, the problems that arise from the outside world can be made up for as long as they are dealt with perfectly.

(End of this chapter)