Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 15 Freedom of Advance and Retreat—A Calm Woman Practices the Art of Love and Stabilizes Her Emotions (3)
So what about women?What about a woman who is a man's wife?For men, although female secretaries can make their work more perfect, but wives can obviously make their private life more complete and beautiful.Moreover, wives and female secretaries have a common intersection, which is to make men's careers more successful and brilliant.As a result, the female secretary and his wife awkwardly stood at the corner of a common stage.We know that a woman's nature is jealousy, especially in front of love, especially in front of a woman who has the same close relationship with the man she loves deeply.As a wife, how should I treat the female secretary who takes care of her husband meticulously?Although the vast majority of wives have a grudge against the female secretary, quite a few wives show tolerance and generosity when facing the female secretary.They stand on a common ground with the female secretary and help men succeed together.And there are wives, no doubt irrational, who adopt a defensive policy toward the secretary, forgetting that the man spends far more time with the secretary than with his wife.In a state of guard and suspicion, female secretaries often feel that their wives are narrow-minded and meddling; while wives complain that their husbands rely too much on other women and cannot distinguish the boundaries between work and life.

Amy is not only a man's wife, but also once a man's secretary.For the relationship between his wife and female secretary, Amy has a unique experience.With experience, Amy concluded that the attitude of the wife is crucial to maintain a good relationship between the wife and the female secretary.In a sense, female secretaries are not willing to lose their jobs because of conflicts with their wives, so their original intention is to live in harmony.As long as this principle is understood, the wife can tolerate the female secretary with a tolerant attitude, and take various measures to reduce friction with the female secretary, strengthen the relationship with the female secretary, and thus achieve cooperation with the female secretary.

First of all, the wife should get rid of suspicion.Although we think that our husband is excellent and unique in the world, it does not mean that all women fall in love with him at first sight, nor does it mean that he can become the object of a female secretary's heart.Under normal circumstances, the female secretary's appreciation of the boss is rational, and only a very small number of female secretaries will pursue the boss as an excellent man.Especially when the husband has to work overtime, the wife must remain sane and calm, knowing that the husband may be in the office all night with the secretary.To some extent, if the wife can thank the female secretary for reminding her husband to eat, this is better than infinite suspicion.

As we all know, with the passage of time, the once young and beautiful wives are getting old, and most of the female secretaries are very young and beautiful.At this time, as a wife, it is useless to be jealous blindly.Although time has taken away our youthful appearance, it has given us a mature charm.A smart woman does not rely on her beauty to keep her husband's heart, but on the maturity and mellow love and family affection accumulated over time to keep her husband.This is something that those young and beautiful girls can't do no matter how hard they try.Of course, with enough time and money, the wife can also dress up more. After all, every age has its beauty. What we need to do is not to keep hysterical, but to love ourselves, enrich ourselves, and enrich ourselves .

Many women who are wives are very envious of the female secretary who accompanies her husband to various occasions in a glamorous manner. As everyone knows, the female secretary is even more envious of his wife.You must know that it is very difficult to do a good job as a female secretary. The ultimate career of a woman lies in her family.

For a wife, the worst thing in a fight with a secretary is being mean to her.One is that men always tend to be weak, and the other is that such a harsh way of dealing with the world will make the wife's image in the mind of a man plummet instantly.At any time, educated women are more popular.

As a wife, it is also a great help to the husband to have good diplomatic relations with those groups that make the company's business run smoothly.

A friend of mine's husband works as an accounting director for a large real estate company.Every time when he encounters trouble, my female friend will receive a call from the female secretary: "Ma'am, I think you must know that Mr. Blank has been under a lot of mental stress recently because of his relationship with the government department. For the last few days, he has been very busy, busy with the government officials to sort out the company's accounts. Therefore, I would like to remind you that Mr. Blank's sandwich and coffee will be carefully prepared, which will make him feel relaxed when he returns home."

It was under the kind reminder of the secretary that every time before Mr. Blank went home, my friend would prepare dinner, fruit and dessert for my husband with great care, and try his best to comfort him mentally.In this way, Mr. Blank not only got a good relaxation, but also my friend managed his love more effectively.

Although this kind of special care is not always available, nor is it necessary at all times, it did help my friend a lot, not only enabling her to take better care of Mr. Blank, but also deepening their love.Of course, all this is based on the premise that both Mrs. Blank and her husband's secretary think they are allies in the united front and should help Mr. Blank succeed in his career.

Love is like sand in the palm of our hand, the tighter we hold it, the easier it is to slip away from our palm.As the wives of men in the workplace, if the majority of female friends greet them like their husband's female secretary, then I believe they will be able to hold their love.

Master the rules of the game of loving and being loved

One morning, a small, quick, smartly dressed lady hopped onto the bus with a shotgun in her shoulder.The passengers on the bus all craned their necks, they didn't know what this woman was going to do.People discussed and wondered: Is this performance art?Or a Supergirl ad?Although the passengers did not ask directly, their doubts were clearly written on their faces.Soon, the lady arrived at the stop, she picked up the weapon and got off the bus as if no one was there. At this time, the bus driver and the passengers present all breathed a sigh of relief.

In fact, things were far less complicated than people imagined. It was Etri Fisher who was helping one of her husband's customers by returning the shotgun bought on credit to the previous store.

Mel Fisher, a salesman for an appliance company, lived at 9 Mount Ladeau, St. Louis, Missouri.He has been very successful in sales, his sales have been excellent and his salary has been decent.Of course, all of this is inseparable from the help of his wife Etri.In order to help her husband advance his work, Yitri tried every means and racked his brains.For this reason, he gave his wife a nickname called "My Friday".

Yitri is very supportive of her husband's work. Although Mr. Meier is very busy with work and has little time to take care of the family, Yitri has no complaints.On the contrary, she always tried her best to help her husband, and never tired of it.She said: "My husband is passionate about sales, he eats, sleeps and breathes with passion. Of course, this passion has also infected me. In our 25 years of marriage, I have always been willing to help him. — including now!"

In order to support her husband's work, Yateli not only never complained that her husband took too little care of the family, but also always tried her best to do all the housework chores so that her husband would not be distracted.In addition to taking care of the family, she also tried her best to share the complicated and trivial matters that her husband worried about, so that he could devote himself to work and start his business.She believes that as long as she can help her husband to completely free himself from the tedious chores, he will be able to concentrate on his work and realize his highest potential.

Since her husband's business area is very wide, she learned to drive in order to share the hard work of driving back and forth alone during his business trips; in order to help him deal with complicated letters, she learned to type.In this regard, she once said: "In order for Mel to sleep comfortably in the car, I drove from Thames Square to the Golden Gate."

In order to better cooperate with her husband, Etri even adjusted her quirks to match her husband's work.Since her husband is a home appliance maker, Yitri gradually became interested in collecting old irons. Among the old irons she collected, some were 150 years ago.Mel once put these ancient irons on display at a merchandising show to great effect.

Of course, in the process of supporting her husband, Yitri not only paid, but also gained a sense of accomplishment.Because she does everything for her husband herself, she also feels a great sense of accomplishment in her husband's success.Once, Mel gave a speech at a sales meeting in Tennessee. Later, an audience member asked him: "I don't know who is most interested in your speech tonight-is it your wife or the salesman?"

It turned out that during Mel's speech, Yitri listened attentively all the time, and this kind of concentration made the people present feel deeply.It's no wonder that Mel regards Yitri as his indispensable spiritual support.

Sadly, many women don't realize how important their trust, understanding and support can be to their husband's career.Therefore, they always use a few words to perfunctory the things that Yitri is doing with all her heart—"Let his female secretary do it!" "If the company pays me, of course I can be his helper." .However, he should be able to handle his work well by then." "I'm already busy with housework, so let him handle the work by himself!"

As wives, if we want our husbands to be better at work and become indispensable helpers to our husbands, we must be as active and heartfelt as Mel to help our husbands. Go faster and more steadily on the road.

The reality is that in life, a woman not only has to do housework, but also takes care of young children, and it is very likely that she is already very busy.In this case, it is obviously unrealistic for them to be her husband's "Friday Girls" like Etri.In fact, it doesn’t matter if you can’t help your husband with his work. Taking care of the family and children so that the husband can devote himself to work without any worries is the greatest support for him.

Of course, we may not be able to do the same as Yitri, after all, every woman cannot help her husband in exactly the same way.In addition, the nature of each husband's work is different, so the help they need or hope to get from their wives is also different.We can decide how to help our husband according to the actual situation. Sometimes, he may need you to type, write reports, handle letters or answer the phone. His worries; even what he needs you to do is not to nag, so that he can rest and relax quietly when he comes home.If you really don't know where to help your husband, you can also communicate with him to see what he needs more.However, the premise of doing all these things is that you have to understand, trust and support your husband. For men, the understanding, trust and support of their wives can give them the greatest motivation.

Conquer a man's heart with praise

Gladstone was elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom four times between 1868 and 1894. He is not only the darling of the political circle, but also the lucky one in marriage.

The Gladstones have lived together for 59 years, a long time, and they've had a lot of hard times together, as well as a happy one.During this period of more than half a century, there was always a deep love in their lives, and it was love that made them share joys and sorrows through a long time.In politics, Gladstone has always been sharp-edged and sharp-tongued. However, as long as he returns home, he is like a different person, never accusing his wife or family.For example, sometimes he gets up very early and wants to have breakfast, but finds that other people have not got up yet. At this time, he will definitely not yell, but sing loudly, so that others can learn from his singing. I know that busy people have to eat breakfast.He is never picky about the housework his wife is responsible for, but is tolerant and personable like a diplomat.Because of this, he rarely conflicts with his wife on housework.

In fact, no matter how high a person's status is, he must live his own family life. This is the case with Gladstone, and so is the Russian Empress Ekaterina II.When ruling the vast Russian Empire, this supreme beauty had to be brutal, she was always willing to beheaded, and she always used force to solve problems.However, at home, if the chef accidentally burnt the meat, she never gets angry, but smiles and eats the burnt meat.As mortals, we should learn from Catherine II and treat the family with tolerance.

Regarding the accusation in marriage, Dorothy Dix once said: "There is no need to speak out the accusation that is both useless and hurtful, because it causes love to fade away and misfortune to come to married life." No doubt, almost everyone desires to be praised and loved.Especially in married life, if there is only criticism without praise, then the marriage will fail.We learn to praise our loved ones sincerely and tell them we love them with certainty, because that's what they need.

In life, women's desire for admiration seems to be strong, and men must pay attention.However, even so, there are still many men who neglect to praise women, which makes women extremely disappointed.It should be noted that, like women, men also want to get compliments from women, because it is equally important to them.

Paul Popino, president of the Los Angeles Family Relations Society, said: "When looking for a partner, most men want to find women who make themselves look good, not women who are strong at work. And their beloved What men need more is the satisfaction of self-esteem and vanity. They don't want to hear a woman brag about how capable they are, but hope that a woman will look at them with longing and tenderness. A woman who worships herself often makes men Get a lot of satisfaction, which is what all men need. To such a woman, men will say: 'Although she is not the most beautiful, it is a pleasure to listen to her'."

A smart woman knows how to use compliments instead of harsh words with a man.Because, in love, when a man's vanity and self-esteem needs to be satisfied, praise is easier than criticism to make them change until they become the person they want.Moreover, this change is voluntary.On the contrary, if this need to be praised is not met, they will become very depressed and feel that everything they do is meaningless.

In the Tsarist era, every time after a big meal, the Russian nobles would invite the chef over and sincerely praise the chef for his superb cooking skills.Shouldn't praise be deserved for a man who has worked so hard for his family for decades?In order to make our husbands work harder and make them more motivated to fight hard, we must not criticize them, but praise them without hesitation. This is what smart women do.It can be said that behind every successful man stands a woman who is good at praise.

(End of this chapter)