FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 16 The Clues of Emotions (6)
Some expressions of disgust do not require the mouth to be closed tightly, but open the mouth slightly.This is because the platysma is stretching the lower lip to the sides, exposing the upper teeth.

Remember the case of the famous Swedish chef mentioned earlier?The beautiful chef had to hold muddy potatoes when shooting the cover. She originally liked to be clean, but at this time she was holding such a dirty thing and had to pretend to be happy.Although she was smiling, her nose was wrinkled, typical of disgust.

At first glance, the full expression of disgust resembles the expression of pain, but the lips are raised more in disgust.

Contempt is as simple as that

Many psychologists regard contempt as a derivative emotion of disgust, and it can also be regarded as mild disgust.But contempt is worth mentioning because it occurs more often than disgust.

Contempt is also negatively stimulated, but the degree of stimulation is not great, and it does not pose a threat to the party concerned, and the party concerned thinks it is not worth spending energy to fight against, because the opponent's strength is far inferior to his own.

Mild contempt is disdain.Disdain is complete contempt and contempt, thinking that the opponent is not at the same level as oneself, and does not even need to look at it.Because you look down on the other party completely, you will regard the other party as a small person in your heart, which will lead to a sense of relaxation and a smile. This is sneering or ridicule.

For example, you are a representative of one of the world's top 30 companies, and the other party is a representative of a company with only [-] employees. You want to compete for the same customer. Such a contest of disparity in strength will make you look down on your opponent and completely disbelieve that the other party is capable of grabbing the same customer. To, so there will be disdain.If the other party keeps refusing to give up and makes a fool of himself, it will make you laugh, which is sarcasm.

Let's take a look at the facial features of contempt.

Eyebrows: The eyebrows are furrowed as in disgust due to the contraction of the corrugator muscle and are depressed by the orbicularis oculi muscle.

Eyes: The orbicularis muscle contracts and the eyes close slightly.

Mouth: Under the action of the upper lip muscle and the upper lip levator muscle, the upper lip is lifted to form the nasolabial fold.The lower lip was unchanged.The mouth in a contemptuous expression may be closed or slightly open.

This kind of expression is common when we see some funny characters, such as sister XX and brother XX who are popular on the Internet.We are not only contemptuous of their appearance, but also of the way they are hyped.

The expression of disdain is much milder than that of contempt. The eyebrows are stretched without furrowing or pressing down, and the eyes have no obvious changes, except for obvious nasolabial folds, slightly raised upper lip, and part of the upper teeth exposed.Due to too much contempt, a sense of superiority arises in the heart, and a smile appears, so the corners of the mouth will rise slightly, and if the range is larger, it will become a sneer.A very obvious feature of ridicule is the asymmetry of the mouth.However, the eyes change during sneering because the orbicularis oculi muscles contract as the smile widens, although not to a large extent, forming a slight crease on the lower eyelid.

One very interesting case concerns ridicule.A certain university once had such a survey: Do you accept that your boyfriend/girlfriend is fat.In this survey, some people bluntly said that it is not acceptable, and some people said that it can be considered out of politeness.There is a student who is very typical. When the investigator asked him if he minded that his girlfriend was fat, he said he didn't mind and showed a smile-like expression.Many people were deceived by his expression, which was not a smile at all, but a mocking expression.The shape of his mouth showed obvious left-right asymmetry, and his lower eyelids had slight fine lines, and when he raised the corner of his mouth, he was accompanied by a quick exhalation, which was a bit like "hum".This is an obvious sneer expression, which means that he looks down on fat people at all in his heart, so how could he find a fat girl as his girlfriend.

Here I also want to remind those who feel inferior to themselves in certain aspects, don't be deceived by others, and don't belittle yourself. It is equally important to recognize yourself and others.If you want to change the status quo, you must work hard to change yourself, at least to enrich your own connotation and strengthen your strengths.

The micro-expressions of the seven major emotions should come to an end here. This is just to teach you some skills, and you can't rely on them completely.If you want to become a real micro-expression researcher, you still need to enrich your knowledge, read a lot of books, and more importantly, do more exercises.Many experts who study micro-expressions have to look at hundreds of photos and video tapes every day in order to capture more accurate expression signals.You must not just learn a little superficial and experiment everywhere, it may not be effective, and the results may not be accurate.Inaccurate results will bring you embarrassment and trouble, so use the knowledge of microexpression with caution and make it a tool to protect yourself, not a weapon to attack and hurt others.

How to respond to each other's micro-expressions
When you are familiar with and mastered micro-expressions, how to respond to the other party is another important purpose of learning micro-expressions.Seeing the essence through the phenomenon, and then giving an appropriate response, is the best application of micro-expressions.

We see the micro-expression of the other person, but we don't know whether the other person wants us to know his emotional state at the moment.This requires us to be able to clearly know whether the other party's mood is moderate or intense, and if it is intense, whether the other party is forcibly controlling it.We can judge by the content of the conversation.If the other party has shown some micro-expressions when we have just started talking and have not yet entered the topic, there are several possibilities:
1. The other party came with emotion, which has nothing to do with this conversation.

2. The other party does not want to have this conversation at all, and there is resistance from the beginning.

3. The other party foresees that the result of the conversation with you will be unpleasant, so they will be emotional from the beginning.

If he showed certain micro-expressions during the conversation, it was most likely an emotional response to the conversation.Next, we will try to discuss how to respond to the emotions behind micro-expressions, which will greatly improve your communication skills.It should be pointed out that only sadness, anger, disgust, fear, and contempt are discussed here, because happiness and surprise basically do not require any special response skills.

sad
The best way to respond to grief is comfort, but it takes some thinking before responding. You have to think about whether your relationship is close enough to give comfort. You have to think about whether the other party needs comfort from others more than you. Think about how your communication was going before, etc.Not everyone likes to be comforted, whether it is a child or an adult, it is always desirable to have some personal space to deal with negative emotions, especially sadness.In front of people who are not particularly close, most people will choose to suppress their sadness. On the one hand, it is out of politeness, and on the other hand, they want to maintain their own space.

If you have a very close relationship with the person concerned, then when you observe his sad microexpression, you can ask "what happened" or "are you okay"; if the relationship between you is average, then you should It is more effective to find someone who has a better relationship with the person to give comfort than you candidly ask.If it's your family members who are showing signs of sadness, then you can tell them that no matter what happens, you will be there for them and will not make them feel alone.

anger

If you notice the other person's angry expression, don't rush to respond, you have to figure out a few things first:

1. If there are only angry features in the eyebrows and eyes, is the person concerned thinking about a problem or really angry?You need to know that the content of your conversation may be causing him trouble, and he is trying to figure out how to get rid of this trouble.

2. If it is anger, where is the stimulus of anger, it does not necessarily come from you.

3. Don't rush to say: "What's wrong with you, you look very angry." If you are sure that the other party is an angry micro-expression, it proves that the other party is trying to contain the anger and does not want you to see through it, but your words Enough to make him waste all his previous efforts, and his anger will multiply.

The best way to respond to anger is to "wait".Suppose you are negotiating with a client and find that he is in a state of anger, then don’t rush to let him make a decision, put the problem aside, sit down with a cup of tea, talk about other topics, and wait until the next day to solve the problem.Most of the decisions people make when they are angry are irrational.Therefore, whether it is you or the person you are talking to, as long as you have negative emotions such as anger, you should stop the conversation at the right time, ease your emotions, and wait until the anger is gone before making judgments and decisions.

fear
In real life, there are not many stimuli that can cause full fear, but more fear.Women get scared when they see reptiles, kids get scared when they see needles, adults get scared when they watch horror movies, or hear some bad news?If you perceive that the other person is afraid, the best response is to make the other person feel safe.For example, if you want to tell an employee bad news, when he feels scared, you can say something like this: "Your efforts are obvious to all, and you will not lose your job because of this, but there are some problems that we need to solve together. "Let him lose the fear of losing his job first, and then discuss the topic, the effect will be much better.

If someone close to you is feeling scared, hugging is the best form of comfort.Hugging conjures up feelings of security in the mother's womb and therefore dampens feelings of fear.When we were children, our first response to fear was to crawl into the arms of our parents.If the person who feels the fear is not related to you, you can try to ask the person why they are afraid and show an attitude that can give the other person a safe environment.

disgust
Disgust is a negative emotion that is difficult to reverse, but it is necessary to figure out what the other party is disgusting for.If it's you that the other person hates, your efforts may be in vain.You have to find ways to reverse the other person's disgust, build rapport first, and then continue the exchange.It's much easier if the stimulus for the other person's disgust is something or someone else.You can try to ask him if he has encountered any unreasonable things, and if you can, you might as well be a listener.When the other party is talking, don't interrupt him, and wait until he has finished speaking before expressing his point of view.

contemptuous
If the other party is contemptuous of you, then the best way to respond is to avoid it, because it is difficult to reverse this negative emotion.Moreover, once the other party embraces this emotion, it will be futile for you to make the best suggestion, and it will not impress him.At this time, you'd better avoid talking directly with him, and find other people who can handle this matter to give you suggestions and opinions, which is much better than talking directly with you.

If the other person expresses contempt because of something else, then you don't need to worry, it will not affect the outcome of your communication.If the other person says something like, "He did that stupidly," it means that the other person needs to hear your approval.You can chime in a few times and satisfy his psychological requirements, which will benefit your further communication.

recognize emotional signals
Nonverbal behavior can be seen everywhere in life, but it has not attracted everyone's attention.An observer who wants to find clues from nonverbal behavior and infer other people's emotional attitudes should always pay attention to every small movement and subtle change of the other person's expression.These changes are conveying people's emotional signals, and very honestly reflect their inner feelings.

There are some very typical and common behaviors that can become the focus of attention of observers. Mastering the characteristics and intentions of these behaviors can help us master the observation skills of non-verbal behaviors as soon as possible.

stroking the face
Compressing the body is a common way to relieve stress.People under stress also use this method to adjust their emotions.Common facial stroking behaviors include rubbing the forehead and touching the face, twirling the ears, or stroking one's beard.These actions can stabilize emotions, so people who perform such actions must be under some pressure or threat.

Soothing one's emotions by taking deep breaths is also one of the facial behaviors in comforting behaviors.On the human face, it is very sensitive because of the gathering of many nerve endings. Any slight touch can make it feel and bring a powerful stimulating effect.Inhale more air by puffing up the cheeks when taking a deep breath, which not only expands the chest cavity, but also moves the cheeks and stimulates the nerve endings of the face. This stimulation can temporarily relax the originally tense nerves .

whistle

There is an allegorical saying in China, "Whistling on the night walks——to give yourself courage", which means to cheer yourself up, and to ridicule those who boast.In fact, it contains the information of non-verbal behavior. When you are in a stressful environment or feel threatened (such as walking at night), you can relax your nerves and make yourself nervous by whistling. The emotions are comforted and have the effect of emboldening one's courage.Similar to the behavior of whistling, there are also comforting behaviors such as talking to yourself to relax yourself through hearing. Some people under pressure will talk non-stop because they are under tremendous pressure and can only talk to themselves constantly , Let yourself hear some voices to relieve stress.The behavior of constantly beating the table with hands or pens and making noises also belongs to this type of non-verbal behavior that relaxes oneself through hearing.

yawn

When faced with some major decisions, or when a great effort is required to achieve something, people will suddenly yawn.The presence of such movements does not mean that the person is absent-minded or sleepy, but that the brain releases stress through the act of yawning.In the process of yawning, people need to open their mouths to maximize the expansion of the mouth, and the pressure stored in the brain will send signals to the salivary glands.The expansion of the mouth will also promote the salivary glands to secrete a large amount of saliva. This moist feeling will relieve the dry mouth caused by environmental pressure, thereby soothing the nerves.To a certain extent, yawning can also be considered a kind of deep breathing, because with the process of yawning, people's chest cavity will also expand and the air inhaled will increase.The simultaneous appearance of these two actions shows that the brain is actively seeking ways to release stress.

rub thighs
When subordinates face their superiors, or when juniors face strict elders, they will feel very embarrassed.At this time, they will have a similar behavior: rubbing their thighs with their palms.Many people think that this is because the palms are sweaty due to tension, and the action of rubbing the thighs is just to dry the sweaty palms.But in fact it is not so simple, this action itself contains a lot of information.

When a seated person places his palms on his thighs and rubs them toward his knees, he doesn't realize that this action not only dries sweat from his palms, but also removes tension.But the limbic system of the brain understands the effect of this action very well. Through friction, the comfort obtained from the sense of touch can relax the nerves of the brain, so this action will be repeated.Thigh rubbing is a direct response to negative emotions and can accurately indicate that the person is in a state of distress.Mastering this judgment basis is of great help to the police. Many criminal suspects have leaked their secrets precisely because of this action.

ventilate
Human clothing can protect us, but it also imprisons our bodies.This feeling of confinement is heightened when people feel uncomfortable or uneasy.In order to release the inner discomfort, you can get some comfort by unbuttoning clothes and other behaviors.In many occasions in life, people are not allowed to unbutton clothes casually, so ventilation behaviors frequently appear as a compromise.

When a man is under stress, it is common for men to insert their fingers between the collar and the neck and then pull the collar away from the neck.This kind of behavior can give the body a signal to release stress. Although not much fresh air will enter our body, a subtle ventilation action can properly comfort unpleasant emotions.

Ventilation is more common in women, who can shake their clothes to ventilate even though they don't have a tie around their necks.Letting the clothes leave your skin temporarily is to subconsciously regard the clothes as the embodiment of stress, and getting rid of it can make the brain feel that the stress is relieved and relaxed.It is worth noting that women's hair lifting is also a kind of ventilation behavior. When the hair lying on the shoulders and neck is lifted, the women's facial expressions will become relatively relaxed.

hug yourself
The action of embracing yourself is similar to crossing your arms, and the crossing action is often limited to intertwining your arms. Self-hugging is based on this action and constantly strokes your arms with your hands.When a mother picks up a baby, she often rubs his shoulders and back lovingly, a gesture that stops a crying child from crying.The memory it formed is deeply imprinted in our brains. When faced with some unresolvable pressure, this kind of self-embracing is like being comforted by a mother, which increases people's sense of security and comfort.

Self-hugging is a protective gesture whose timing is delicate.Some people will lean back and fold their arms when they are provocative. It looks like a self-hug, but the meaning is very different and needs to be carefully screened.And some people who are in a provocative mood will have a slight self-embracing reaction in an instant, because they are also under strong pressure. This action reveals that the provocateur is actually not confident, and needs to be encouraged by himself. strength.

(End of this chapter)