FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 48 Hiding yourself and making others impeccable (7)
After Pang Tong came out of the mountain, he first went to see Sun Quan and wanted to serve under Sun Quan's command.But Sun Quan saw that his eyebrows were thick, his nose protruded, which looked like a pig's nose, and his complexion was so dark, with a short beard covering half of his face, and his face was very strange, so he didn't like him at all. Not much ability.

Later, Pang Tong went to see Liu Bei again. Liu Bei was very upset when he saw his ugly face.In this way, everyone ignored Pang Tong's real ability because of a problem of appearance.

When Sun Quan and Liu Bei did not examine Pang Tong's ability, they used their own principles of judging appearance to measure each other.In fact, almost everyone has this kind of prejudice. There used to be such a joke on the Internet: If you are in front of an angry Chongqing girl and behind you is the abyss, then I advise you to jump back.Some Chongqing girls are indeed hot and spicy, but this does not mean that all Chongqing girls are hot girls. Such groundless speculation is actually caused by our stereotypes.

In the Qing Dynasty, there was a man named Tan Zhenzhao in Tongshan County. When he was a child, his family was relatively rich, so his father betrothed him to the daughter of Le Jinshi from the same village.Later, the Tan family's fortunes fell, and as soon as Tan's father died, Jinshi Yue wanted to regret the marriage.

One day, Tan Zhenzhao went out to sell vegetables and passed by his father-in-law's house, so he came to visit.Jinshi Le told Tan Zhenzhao straight to the point that he was asked to draw lots, one with the word "stop" and the other with the word "marriage". If Tan Zhenzhao caught the word "marriage", he would choose a day to marry his daughter. If the word "strike" arrives, the marriage will be cancelled.

Tan Zhenzhao thought for a while, and knew that his father-in-law must have written the word "strike" on both lots, so he grabbed one lot and swallowed it quickly, and then said to his father-in-law: "Look at what is left." If it is the word 'strike', then I must swallow the word 'marriage', and you will marry your daughter to me."

Le Jinshi set up a trap by himself, thinking that others would be fooled, but in the end he got himself involved.When he uses his own thinking to measure others, he has already lost in front.

Anchor to Influence Others

Anchors and micro-expressions seem to have nothing to do with each other, but in fact, the correct use of anchors is inseparable from the hints of micro-expressions.A good mind reader who can skillfully use anchors to influence others must be an expert in micro-expressions.

You may have seen a plot in "Mind Reading Detective": In order to confirm whether a certain gangster was an undercover agent, the inspector asked him to meet in a tea restaurant.The inspector and the gangster sat down facing each other, and the gangster showed a nervous expression at first.The Inspector begins to ask him questions and prompts him to tell the truth.

"Is your name XXX?" the inspector said while knocking on the table twice.

"Yes."

"Did you lame a leg?" Still knocking on the table twice.

"Yes."

Then the Inspector quickened the pace of questioning.But the rhythm of knocking on the table has not changed.All the questions he asked were questions the other side couldn't lie to, right down to the last one.

"Have you ever been an undercover agent?" It was still the very rhythmic sound of knocking on the table twice.

"Yes." The gangster answered the question without thinking, and then froze for a moment, showing a surprised expression, followed by a fearful expression.Because he has been in the gang, he can't let others know that he was an undercover agent.Many years ago, he accidentally injured someone in a gang fight and was sentenced to several years in prison.After he was released from prison, he wanted to clean up everything in the past, including being an undercover agent.More importantly, if those gangsters knew that he had been an undercover agent, they would definitely hunt him down, so he has been refusing to admit the fact that he was an undercover agent after he was released from prison.When he inadvertently told the truth, he was surprised at first, and the subtext was "how did I leak it", and it immediately turned into fear after 1 second, because the leak of this secret threatened his life.It was his answer and micro-expression that allowed the inspector to be sure that he had been an undercover agent.

This is the use of anchors and micro-expressions. Every time the inspector asks a question that the other party cannot lie, he knocks on the table twice.He had to answer the first few questions truthfully, and at the same time established a mental model of "the voice must speak the truth", which is the anchor.

The prototype of an anchor is a conditioned reflex.Pavlov once conducted an experiment in which he rang a bell twice before feeding the dogs.Over time, as long as he rings the bell, the dog will salivate.Anchor is a conditioned reflex technology for people, and what is implanted is not saliva, but emotional state.It's an interesting technique, and if you're skilled enough, you can influence other people's emotions to change as you wish.

Once it is called technology, it seems to be very advanced and very far away from daily life.Quite the contrary, you cannot live without an anchor in your life.To give a simple example, you broke up with your favorite person on your birthday, and you will listen to the same song every day after the breakup.Every time you have a birthday in the future, you will feel sad.As soon as I hear that song, I recall the pain at that time.That day and that song are the anchors planted in your heart.

We also often encounter such a situation, seeing someone, even though it is the first time we meet, we are very disgusted with him and difficult to get close to.You didn't know why at first, but later you realized that the person you hated at the first meeting was wearing a purple tight top, and the person who hurt you also liked to wear such clothes.This dress is the anchor of unpleasantness.

Of course, anchoring isn't all negative, it's just that negative emotions leave a deeper emotional impression than happiness.There will also be happy anchors, just like the girls' dormitory in college, which is always full of gossip topics at night, and the chats are very happy, with endless laughter.After graduation, after several years of social life, you have forgotten what you talked about the night before.But once you meet your college roommates and sleep in the same room again, when you turn off the lights and chat, even though you forget what you talked about the night before, that happy feeling will be activated immediately.

Music is a great anchor used by many psychotherapists.Many of the music in the movie are regarded as classics. Not only is the melody beautiful, but once it sounds, it will trigger people's memories of that beautiful plot.There are some classic music in horror movies, which are low and dignified. When we have long forgotten those horror plots, when we hear those music, we still feel chills in the back, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, sweating and other symptoms.

Through the use of heart anchors, you can grasp the emotional state of the other party.If you are lucky enough to know what the anchor is hidden in the other person's heart, you can use it to guide the other person's emotions.But under normal circumstances, the anchor is hidden in our unconscious, even the person does not know it.Therefore, creating new anchors becomes crucial.

Many times, we unintentionally create negative anchors.For example, if a friend is unhappy, you will ask him "what's the matter".Later, every time he is unhappy, your first sentence is "what's the matter".One day he wanted to tell you a happy thing, but your first sentence is "what's wrong with you", and his mood will immediately become depressed, even he himself doesn't know what's going on.Your phrase "what's the matter with you" always appeared when he was depressed, and over time it became an anchor, so that he was very happy, but he would also become disappointed when he heard your words.

So how do you create a positive anchor?You can learn from Jerry the salesman.

When Jerry first entered the sales industry, his performance was not satisfactory. The manager put pressure on him more than once to improve his performance quickly.One day, when Jerry came to sell products, a depressed old woman opened the door.The old woman said her daughter had just had a miscarriage and she was not in the mood to buy these things.Jerry, who was shut down, thought that everyone was a little bit worried, and it would be very meaningful if he could bring happiness to customers while sending out products.So every time he sent a sample to a customer, he would leave a small note in it, which wrote some small jokes or interesting things he encountered.

Strangely, one month later, Jerry's product sales increased significantly.Many customers are willing to buy his products because they feel happy when they see his products.Unbeknownst to Jerry, he has planted a positive anchor in the customer's heart, and the note with the joke on it is the anchor.

You know, an anchor does not allow you to trigger a certain event, but a certain emotion.It works because we are used to connecting our emotions to the outside world.Create a positive anchor when you want to evoke positive emotions in others.If you want to negotiate with a customer, it is best to know some preferences of the other party in advance, such as favorite color, favorite food, favorite music, favorite characters, etc. People will feel happy when they see something they like. It is also the reason for what it likes.If the customer likes red, then you can match some red on the clothes to arouse the anchor of the other party's happiness.If the customer likes a certain piece of music, you can turn it into the background music of the presentation file, which can increase your chances of success, make others like you more easily, and make it easier to build rapport.

Many parents like to tell their children "you are awesome", which is also a kind of anchor.When the child does the right thing, the parent encourages "You are awesome" in time, and the child will feel proud and confident.Over time, the words "you're awesome" have become associated with pride and confidence.When a child suffers setbacks and falls into a low mood, parents can use "Hey! You are great" to awaken his self-confidence and pride.

Similarly, if the leader hopes that the subordinates will work hard, they can also plant an anchor for them: while praising the employees for their hard work, accentuating the pronunciation of hard work, while patting the employees on the shoulder.The word hard work becomes an anchor and enters the hearts of employees.In the future, when employees work, they will think of the joy of being praised by the leader that day, and will become more diligent.

However, there is a problem that must be paid attention to, that is, the timing of implanting the anchor should be selected when the happy mood is rising, not when the happy mood is about to disappear or become negative.In other words, it will be more effective to implant anchors when others are happy.It's just that it takes time, because it's not easy to wait for the other party to be happy in a natural state.If you are eager to implant a happy anchor in the other person's heart due to the situation, then you can only try to guide the other person's happy emotions, such as helping the other person recall the happy things in the past.Implanting an anchor when he feels happy will get twice the result with half the effort.

How to know that the other party's mood has become happy, you need to use micro-expressions.

Try doing this:
"Do you remember what it was like when your first dream came true? Do you remember how you felt when you went through a lot of trouble and finally got something? Yes, it felt amazing. Do you remember?"

When the other party shows a happy micro-expression, you can take the opportunity to implant the anchor you want to create.

Practice it a few times and you will discover the benefits of anchoring.But remember two points: First, don't abuse the anchor, because you don't know what kind of psychological shadow it will cause to the other party.Second, establish a positive anchor, especially when you want to influence others.Many parents like to scare their children. When their children enter a dark environment, they say "Come here, come here" in a frightened voice, and turn around and run away.You originally hoped that the child would be more obedient, not to play in the dark room, but to stay by your side.But you don't know, if you repeat this a few times, the child will be afraid of the dark and want to run away when he gets into a dark environment.Therefore, a positive anchor is very important, even if the effect may not be as obvious as you think, at least it will not hurt others.

(End of this chapter)