speaking psychology
Chapter 10
Chapter 10
In daily life, it is often found that some people use arbitrary language to hurt their lovers. They know that they love each other, but they don't know how to express their love.There are also people who express love using language that hurts love, and the results can be imagined.It is very important to learn to express love correctly using the language of love.
Learn to say "no" to loved ones
We are not sages, and we all make mistakes, so people often think that loving each other should tolerate and understand each other, but it should be noted that tolerance and understanding are not condoning.
If a loved one makes an unintentional mistake, then you need to accommodate his or her inadvertence.But when your loved one makes all kinds of unreasonable demands due to vanity or comparison, or makes incomprehensible unreasonable actions, you should stop being tolerant. Say "no" firmly.
For example, some children are not sensible and often make various demands to their parents.Parents satisfy their children out of love for their children.But when the child's request cannot be met at all, it is an unreasonable request, and the parents should say "no".Some girls will also show a little temper towards the boyfriend they love.If her boyfriend adopts a tolerant attitude towards her petty temper, then her petty temper may become bigger and bigger, and develop to the point where he is in a lot of trouble.
However, if you say "no" between lovers, you have to worry about not hurting your relationship.Therefore, many men often say "no" in the following ways.
1.Adopt an attitude of "listening" or "silent"
For the unreasonable demands of your loved one, you can treat them with a listening or silent attitude.If she had to gradually understand the bottom line, she would not make such unreasonable demands in the future.
2.switch focus
When a child makes unreasonable demands, the parents only need to divert the child's attention. For women who make unreasonable troubles, they can also use the method of diverting her attention.Shift her focus so she can temporarily focus elsewhere.
These two methods are mainly not to confront the opponent head-on, but they can achieve the effect of overcoming rigidity with softness.But for some frontal conflicts, it needs to be resolved in a humorous way, firm but soft.
Dr. Wang is a very masculine person. Although his character is not bad, his typical patriarchal thinking really makes many women unbearable.The smart and beautiful Fang, after dating Dr. Wang for a period of time, thinks that his character is not bad, but this point needs to be improved, but Dr. Wang does not think that his patriarchal thinking is wrong.
Dr. Wang felt that he and Fang had a lot of face.In order to show among his friends that he has conquered the beautiful woman, he often bosses her around and tells her what to do.
Once at a class reunion, everyone chatted happily. Dr. Wang found out that the drink was gone, so he handed an empty bottle to Fang.Fang also understood that he was trying to send people around again, but she deliberately said to him: "Dear Dr. Wang, how can I buy drinks if I don't have money?" Angrily accused Fang: "Three-year-olds will spend money to buy drinks, if you can buy drinks without spending money, it proves that you have both talent and looks."
Fang was very disgusted with his machismo, and wanted to ignore him in public, but considering that there were many classmates present, she didn't want to embarrass him too much among classmates.So he took the drink bottle and left.
After a while, Fang came back and handed Dr. Wang an empty drink bottle.Dr. Wang took it and felt very dissatisfied, so he questioned: "Why give me an empty bottle, what do you want me to drink?"
Fang smiled and said: "Three-year-olds can drink beverages, but if you drink beverages from an empty bottle, then you are a truly incomparable university student."
Dr. Wang was speechless, and the students found it very interesting.So amidst the laughter of the students, Fang opened the drink she bought and poured it for everyone, enjoying the refreshing and delicious drink with the students comfortably.Dr. Wang originally wanted to show among his classmates that he had conquered a woman with both talent and beauty, but Fang hit him back humorously.
Fang's humorous counterattack not only expressed her dissatisfaction with him, but also hit his vanity.
Two people who love each other may become a family that stays together for life, so how to get along well will be related to the happiness of the two people for a lifetime.It is often said that a good marriage is a school.When a lover has bad words and deeds, it is not to be tolerant and understanding blindly, but to be able to help the lover grow.When the loved one is wrong, the other party should say "no" in a way that the lover can accept, and help him improve and improve.
Let us learn to say "no" gently but firmly to the people we love.Problems in marriage are only dealt with when we understand that a good marriage is a good school.
words of complaint said softly
Conflicts between people are actually not conflicts of interest most of the time.Often due to poor language communication, misunderstandings arise.The contradictions and conflicts between men and women are mostly caused by differences in language expression and language understanding.So how to establish an effective communication in the language communication between people?
Pay attention to one thing: pay attention to the dissatisfaction with the other party, speak gently, and communicate in a way that he accepts.And don't talk behind your back when you are dissatisfied with the other party, or lose your temper viciously, accuse, etc.Doing so will only escalate the conflict, and will not help resolve the conflict and solve the problem.
For example, the wife is very dissatisfied with her husband. Instead of talking to her husband, the wife goes to other people to complain about her husband’s problems. This will not only fail to solve the problem, but will also lead to new conflicts.
A-Lian and A-Jie have always had a good relationship as husband and wife, and everyone who knows them thinks they are a model couple.For a while, Alian was very busy with work and often worked overtime, which caused a misunderstanding between them.Ajie felt that his wife only had work in her eyes, and she didn't care about herself and the family at all.Alian felt that her husband didn't support her work at all recently, and she didn't understand herself.
Finally, Ajie lost his temper: accusing Alian of being a workaholic and having no home in his eyes.Alian felt that her husband was too inconsiderate of her, so the two had a big fight.
It just so happened that a husband and wife friend the two of them knew had contact with A-Lian at work, so A-Lian couldn't help but tell them all her troubles and anguish.Unexpectedly, they told her that A-Jie often praised A-Lian as a perfect wife outside, and pointed out that A-Lian went to relatives and friends to scold A-Jie and hurt his self-esteem, and suggested that they should communicate more.Don't vent behind your back, or get angry in front of your face, it won't solve the real problem.
Alian thought about it carefully, and felt that the way she handled it was indeed too impatient.So he took the initiative to ask Ajie to talk.During the conversation between the two, it turned out that Ajie hoped that Alian would not work too hard, but just felt sorry for her being too tired.And A-Lian felt that her husband didn't support her work because he was afraid that she would be too tired.After this communication, the two reconciled.
In daily life, we only need to change our tone a little bit, and we will find that the communication effect is different.For example, complaining: "You are busy with work all day long, and you never care about this family" "You love playing games so much, so you have been with games." Let me go, okay? Caring about me is much better than caring about the game, you can get my loyalty if you care about me."
Such words are not only a change of tone, but also a change of attitude.A supplicant tone is easier to accept, while an accusatory tone can deepen opinions and contradictions.Blaming is an attitude of complaining, whereas supplication is an attitude of suggesting.
If you look at the problem from another angle, you will find that the problem is very different.For example: you accuse him of being careless and sloppy, but from another angle, you will find that he is not fussy and easy-going;
Complaining not only spreads negative emotions, but also does not solve the problem.Instead of getting angry and complaining, it is better to actively find a way to solve the problem.If you are in a bad mood, then do something you like: watching TV, listening to music or doing sports.When the mood is good, there is nothing to complain about.
Complaining regardless of occasion or location will destroy the joyful and harmonious atmosphere of the family, and it will have no effect.Therefore, if you want to make complaints work, choose a good time and place, and have a big complaint with him to make him realize that he should improve.
It is more effective to choose to complain when the other person is in a good mood.For example: when Ah Xia celebrated her birthday, her husband asked her to make a wish.What troubles Axia the most is that her husband never returns home late but never calls to tell her in advance.She talked to her husband many times, but the husband refused to change after repeated admonitions.So Axia made a wish: "I hope that when my husband can't come home on time, I will call and tell myself so that I will not be frightened." After hearing this, the husband was of course moved and guilty, thinking that he usually forgets the time when he is busy. Not to mention calling home.So, he promised to do it.
Your words of praise may encourage him or her to be exactly what you say you are.He or she will also create an image of what you admire in his or her mind, and then work hard to live up to that.On the contrary, if you complain frequently, then he will really become more and more like what you complain about.
In daily life, falling in love is easy but getting along is not easy, how to do it and cherish it?Behaviors that are not cherished should be put an end to, and words that are not cherished should be spoken as little as possible or gently.People are not sages. In order to minimize the mistakes of oneself and your lover, it is necessary to complain, but you must complain rationally and effectively.
Nagging less and caring more
Nagging is a relationship killer, but many people don't notice it.Once many women get married, the biggest change may be from cute before marriage to terrible after marriage.Once a man gets married, the biggest fear is the nagging of women.
Saying what you care about once is just right, saying it twice is emphasizing it, and saying it three times is already a bit too much.Even if it's about caring, saying it four or five times is nagging and annoying, but many women make this mistake, and they don't feel annoying after saying caring words ten times.What about complaining?
If you ask a married man what he hates most about his wife, I believe 90% of the men will say that it is the endless nagging of his wife.They open their eyes every day and start talking non-stop, either this is not done well, or that sentence is wrong, or it is not knowing how to take out the garbage and other trivial matters.
With Ah Qiang's insistence, he and Ah Fen finally divorced.Ah Fen thinks that she and Ah Qiang still have feelings for each other, so they will not divorce.She is not very willing to divorce, she thinks Ah Qiang is a good husband, it's just that he doesn't talk much after marriage.
But Qiang thinks they absolutely need a divorce.During a trip, Ah Qiang said to his fellow travelers: "Before I got married, Ah Fen was so cute! When I talked, she always listened to me like a bird, and I felt very happy. But after getting married, she changed, she likes to criticize me endlessly. I feel like I fell from heaven to hell. As long as I am with her, she criticizes me over and over again, the floor is too dirty and things are not put in the right place. She can talk about a little thing for a long time. Every time I want to look at the stars and listen to music with her as before, I’m sorry, it’s impossible. During the nagging, although we still have a little affection, I really can't stand her nagging."
There is a book on psychology that has a clear psychological analysis of nagging: "Like nagging can only show that you are mentally immature, pursue perfection, don't know how to appreciate the beauty of shortcomings, and don't mind exerting troubles and dissatisfaction on others. s damage."
Nagging women all have unrealistic psychological characteristics of high expectations for marriage.They expect their husbands to be capable, hardworking, and love themselves very much.But once they get married, they find that this high expectation has failed, so they start nagging. They don't know that nagging will make things worse, and they just vent their worries and dissatisfaction.
Ah Qin's father is very diligent and capable, and can repair any broken things in the house.Ah Qin thought in her heart that a man should be so diligent and capable.
Her expectations for marriage were higher than they actually were.Because after she got married, her husband didn't like to do housework, nor was he good at repairing home appliances.
As a result, Ah Qin was very dissatisfied with her husband for not being diligent and unable to repair home appliances, and often complained.It happened that she had a best friend who majored in psychology, and this best friend pointed out the crux of the problem.So, she began not to compare her husband with her father, lowered her expectations for marriage, and stopped nagging.In the end, she found that her husband cared about the family instead and took the initiative to undertake some housework.
There was a report: A middle-aged man divorced his wife who had been married for more than 20 years because he couldn't stand nagging and accusations.In order not to hear nagging and accusations from now on, the man immediately married a deaf-mute wife after the divorce.
From this example, we can understand the consequences of nagging.No one is not bored or even resented by nagging people.
When you use nagging as a tool to achieve your goal of perfecting others, remind you that it is the opposite.When you take nagging as a kind of confidant, a kind of venting, please change the way.If you are dissatisfied with your lover, don't think that nagging can change it. Nagging is the grave of love and the killer of marriage.Less nagging, more love.
never use forced language
We don't have the right to use coercive language on others to make them do what we don't want to do, and likewise, others don't have the right to use coercive language on us to make us do what we don't want to do.
Forced language or command language hurts a person's self-esteem and hurts emotions.
Ah Yue's husband has gastritis.One time, Ah Yue made a meal and asked her husband to come to eat quickly.But her husband is addicted to reading, so Ah Yue ordered impatiently: "You think you have stomach cancer? Why don't you come over to eat?"
Her words made her husband look ugly.Although my husband came over for dinner, he was very dissatisfied.This happened so many times that the two actually had a big fight over it.Ah Yue felt that she was very wronged, and had to call him several times when she was cooking.You have to say harsh words to come out.
If Ah Yue orders, you can say softly: "Come and eat, your stomach is not good, don't wait for the food to cool. I made soup for you, it is very nourishing." Then her husband will be angry ?
You have to know that you can't trap a man with a gun.Likewise, you can't force your significant other to do something, even if he did it against his will.
In life, people who speak in a commanding or coercive tone do not know how to respect their significant other.They or they said: "You must do what I say, you must do what I say." They should be expressed in a gentle and flexible way.Know that gentleness is more powerful than force.
There used to be a fable:
Who is stronger, the north wind or the sun.They agree that whoever can take off the clothes of pedestrians on the road will be more powerful.The north wind came first, and with all its strength, it blew desperately at the pedestrians. As a result, the pedestrians felt cold and wrapped their coats tightly.The north wind blew and blew, and I was exhausted.So, the sun came out.The sun slowly and warmly shone on the pedestrians without exerting any force. After a while, the pedestrians unbuttoned their clothes and took off their coats.
As a result, the north wind lost, and the sun said: "The strength of mildness is greater than that of cold."
Gentleness is stronger than coldness, so why would you use forceful words when you can do more with them?
In fact, A Ling is very good at cooking, but after she got married, she ate her husband's cooking every day.Even at work, her husband would drive home and cook for her.Her husband didn't know how to cook before marriage, and he didn't like to cook.
It turned out that not long after they got married, A Ling caught a cold, and her husband cooked a bowl of egg noodles for her.She was moved and exclaimed: "If it wasn't for a cold, I really wouldn't be able to eat your cooked noodles! It's so delicious!" Her husband stroked her hair and said, "This is simple, I will cook for you in the future, as long as you hurry up stand up."
Sure enough, even after A Ling recovered from her cold, her husband would cook for her every day. A Ling ate the food cooked by her husband and admired it every day. In this way, her husband's cooking skills became better and better.In fact, A Ling has a secret that she will never tell: the egg noodles that her husband first cooked were raw noodles.
Remember that words of praise are more powerful than words of compulsion, so you should ditch those compulsions as soon as possible.Let you and your loved ones live happily in your gentle words.
Replace blame and criticism with encouragement
Replacing accusations and criticism with encouragement is actually a kind of self-cultivation improvement.When you see a loved one make a mistake, you get annoyed and immediately blame.The so-called deep love and serious responsibility, but this kind of accusation often fails to achieve the expected effect.In our daily life, we often find that we get along well with outsiders, but it is always difficult to get along well with our family members. This is the reason.
People have this kind of mentality: When getting along with outsiders, it is acceptable to take care of outsiders when speaking carefully. In addition, even if outsiders have shortcomings and mistakes, they will point them out gently or turn a blind eye.But for the one you love, it's easy to blurt out.I felt like my family, so I blamed and criticized without any scruples.
However, maintaining a marriage requires the cooperation of two people, and to end a marriage, it is over if only one party is unwilling to cooperate anymore.Everyone has shortcomings of one kind or another. In addition to hurting feelings, accusations and criticisms are far less effective than encouragement.
When a loved one makes a mistake, you directly accuse: "This is too stupid" or "This is completely wrong", which will make him feel very uncomfortable and will be very unconvinced.If you can "appreciate first and then criticize", such as pills, which are coated with sugar on the outside, children will not be afraid to take medicine, and the effect is very good.
For example, if you intend to accuse him of a wrong method, you can say "your method is indeed very good, but it needs to be improved." After saying this, the effect will definitely be that he is happily looking for ways to improve.
1.Encourage with caring
No one can never be wrong, so making mistakes is not a big deal.People who pursue perfection can't stand even a single mistake, they just endless nagging and countless accusations, asking the other party to be perfect, and thinking that they are doing it for the sake of the one they love, is actually more annoying than Tang Seng.As long as there is no principled mistake in life, as long as the person who made the mistake knows it himself, it is fine to encourage him not to make such a mistake next time.
2.Fewer Commands, More Suggestions
Some people think that they are already their own family members, so they can order and demand unceremoniously.It's actually hurtful.It is necessary to change the tone of the order into a suggestion, and it is easier to get along with the tone of negotiation.You take something and you want him to help, so you order, "Help me." But maybe you say, "Can you take it for me, Hercules."
3.way to remind
A husband didn't like to wash before going to bed. His wife accused him every day: "Go and wash, and you can't go to bed without washing." One day, he came home late from overtime work, so he went to bed. The wife was very annoyed and accused: " I didn’t wash up again, how many times have I told you?” The husband was tired and annoyed, he pulled the quilt and fell asleep.
After getting along for a long time, I know each other's habits very well. If the wife gently said: "It's so late, are you tired? Go soak your feet, it's very refreshing." The result may be different.
4.question less and care more
The tone of questioning can make the other party speechless, but the family is not a battlefield, and questioning is the tone used for those enemies.The questioning tone should be used sparingly.If your husband often comes home very late, do you ask angrily: "Why didn't you come home on time? Where did you go?" It is likely that your husband will answer impatiently: "You can control where I like to go." Are you ready?" However, you asked with concern: "I came home so late, did you work overtime?".
5.don't say absolute words
There is nothing more unreasonable and least respectable than absolute words.For example, "You never figured it out, so you're always wrong" "You never heard what I said".Such words are not only the most untrue words, but also the most hurtful words.How does the listener feel about this?Really never?
The listener feels like he is worthless in your eyes.Who wants to be completely denied by a loved one like this?If you say something like: "Do you sometimes make decisions without knowing the situation?" "Can you take my advice?"
Love is as simple as one word, not love is as simple as two words.But there are thousands of ways to express love and ways to express dislike.One of the verbal ways of expressing dislove is accusation and criticism.Maybe you are still in love, but you have been using the language of not loving to express your love.Who will blame you and criticize you for your mistakes?Not just you, many people like to express love in the language of unlove.Encourage everyone to learn to use the correct language to express love.
Love at First Sight and Love at First Sight
How to talk to the person you love?There are two types of love between men and women, one is love at first sight, and the other is love at first sight.Regardless of the model, falling in love is mainly about language communication.
1.long-term love
The long-term love is the sublimation of two people's relationship from friendship to love in their constant daily communication.This kind of long-term love-style love is very common.The two young people have experienced many years together, they understand each other and trust each other, so their relationship took a "leap".At this time, the first confession of love is very important, because it will be kept in the hearts of both parties as a good memory forever.
In the 19th century, the famous French microbiologist Louis Pasteur won love in a sincere way when he confessed his love to his beloved.
University teacher Buster and Miss Marie, daughter of Laurent, president of the University of Strasbourg in France, are very good friends.After several years of friendship, the two got to know each other, and Buster fell in love with Mary.
So Buster not only wrote a proposal letter to Miss Mary, but also wrote separate letters to her parents.The language of Buster's letter to Mr. Laurent, the president of the university, is very frank, honest, and passionate. He wrote in the letter: "I have deep feelings for Miss Mary. But I still decide to put The fact that I am a poor man will make it easier for you to decide whether to reject or approve. I estimate that my wealth is only 5 francs. A share of my fortune was given to my sisters, so I am a poor man without property. But I have health, no fear of difficulties, and a love of science, and I am not a man who loves science for the sake of status."
Buster's sincere confession won the approval of Miss Mary and Miss Mary's parents.
2.The communication language of love at first sight
There is love at first sight in life, but it is not easy to have results.Since love at first sight is produced by the intuitive senses of both parties, it is determined by the image and impression of the other party, such as appearance, demeanor, speech, etc., so that the "love" between a man and a woman often occurs at "first sight".This kind of emotional foundation needs language communication to deepen, so falling in love requires a good way of conversation to promote feelings.Beautiful words not only sincerely reflect one's heartbeat at this time, but also resonate with both parties.
In 1920, at a ball in Paris, Captain de Gaulle fell in love with Mademoiselle Vendulot at first sight.De Gaulle is also very confident. He thinks that Miss Wang Duluo has a good impression of him.So he invited Miss Venturot to dance, and said while dancing: "I am very honored to know you. I am also very honored that you accepted my invitation. This is a very beautiful feeling..." And Miss Venturot Said happily: "Dear Captain, I feel that no one is more beautiful than your words. This is an incomparably beautiful time..." So the two danced while telling each other their truest and most beautiful feelings. At six dances, they swore never to be separated.This conversation of love at first sight set the keynote of their life's happiness. De Gaulle and his wife admired and encouraged each other throughout their lives.
Talk heartfeltly to each other and generate subtle feelings; use soft words like the breeze to express tenderness and caress; use the most authentic sweet words to bring both parties into a beautiful and romantic world.On the contrary, say to your lover in a rough voice: "Let's go to the movies!" "I had a great time today!" Your lover will definitely think you are an uncultivated, rough fool.So will your lover still love you?
Of course, in life, people have different personalities, hobbies, and cultural accomplishments, so there is no fixed pattern for dating.But there are ground rules when it comes to dating:
1.When talking about ideals, you must have lofty ideals to talk about, and you must show your desire to enrich your knowledge at all times;
2.Naturally reveal a beautiful heart and express one's feelings colorfully;
3.Use more modest tone and show sincerity;
4.Be subtle when expressing your love.
By following these basic rules, the initial conversation between lovers will establish a good foundation, thus laying the foundation for further conversations in the future.
Whispering has its special expressive effect.Whispers between lovers carry a stronger message of love than words spoken aloud.
If you have a little misunderstanding or a little conflict with your lover, and you whisper a few words in his or her ear, the conflict and misunderstanding will disappear immediately.People in love use whispers, which can make love communicate smoothly and make you the happiest person.
There's a knack for talking to people you like
In life, many people meet someone they like and don't know how to talk.Because when I am with the person I like, I care too much about the impression I leave on him or her. I feel that if I say this, I will look too stupid, and if I say that, I will appear to be very thoughtless.Under heavy worries, the atmosphere gradually fell into an embarrassing predicament.
How to have a pleasant conversation with the person you like?
1.don't put on airs
When you are with the person you like, find a topic that both of you like to talk about. If you can’t find it, then ask the person you like to talk about it. You can find a common topic based on what the person you like says.Talking with people in a natural and sincere manner is the most effective way of communication.
If you talk to people in a pretentious manner, it will only arouse the resentment of others.
2.words of praise can be used appropriately
When you can't find a suitable topic when you are with someone you like, you can say compliments.Because it is someone you really like, so he or she definitely has the advantages you appreciate, or the charm that attracts you.And the advantages and charms of the other party, if you express them naturally and truthfully, the other party must feel very happy.
For a beautiful person, it is really beautiful to praise her; for a talented person, it is very talented to praise him.This kind of true and natural expression is very touching.But be careful not to use exaggerated words.
3.Pay attention to modest speech, gentle and polite attitude
Pay attention to using more modest words, not to ask you to speak more polite words, but to listen to the other party's opinions more during the conversation, and don't impose your own views on the other party.A gentle and polite attitude is conducive to creating a harmonious atmosphere for conversation.
Especially men, in conversations, you should pay attention to modesty in your words, and always show that you respect the other party and are willing to talk to the other party.
4.Show affection naturally and sincerely
When you like him or her, there is no need to be nervous or worry.You can sincerely and naturally show that you have a good impression of him or her.If he or she doesn't like you, then you haven't lost anything, you can still like him or her, but you can appreciate him or her from a distance.
Most of us are ordinary people, we can't go anywhere, and we can't be brilliant and attract all the people we like.We all may not be able to make the friends we want to make, and we may not be able to catch up with the people we like, but it is enough for us to appreciate the beauty of life and enable ourselves to appreciate that unique beauty.Talking with the person you like with this natural and clear attitude will benefit you a lot.
In short: When talking with someone you like, you must first maintain a relaxed and happy mood, and secondly, your attitude should be gentle and polite.Express your affection with humble words.
Language is the key to open the door of love
Language is the key to open love. Only with the key of language can one open one's heart, thus open the other's heart and achieve spiritual communication, thus opening a beautiful love. This is the realm of mutual understanding.
In the world of love, a man and a woman need to talk to understand each other, achieve emotional communication, care for each other, and fall in love.People often say that when you fall in love, love means talking.
In daily life, many men are not good at verbal expression. Although they have a good impression of the other party, they are embarrassed to say it, and they think that it is more practical to speak well than to do well, so they often do a lot for the girl they like. But the girl has become someone else's bride.
If human love is a dazzling flower, then the lingering love words between lovers are the beautiful pearl on this dazzling flower.These shining beautiful pearls are just the beautiful and sincere words of the soul that the lovers open their hearts to reveal. These beautiful words of the soul trickle out from the depths of the hearts of people in love, blooming with beautiful brilliance .In the best years of life, lovers cuddle up to each other, nostalgic for the time before the flowers and under the moon, and whisper their wonderful feelings.
How do you fall in love when you meet someone you like?Xu Zhimo expressed his love with poetic language.Van Gogh expresses the language of his soul with his magic brush.How do we ordinary people talk to make love sweet and make lovers get married?
Nicknames can shorten the distance between lovers.If you meet someone you like, don't use nicknames for her or him directly, but use nicknames in a timely manner.Nickname is a ruler to measure the distance of interpersonal relationship. When you no longer call him or her by name, your relationship will naturally be one step closer.Lin Huiyin said in the poem that you are the April day of the world, and this legendary woman called her lover the April day of the world.She didn't specify who her lover was, and only she and her lover knew her title.
A romantic relationship is a unique relationship, and this unique title reflects this unique relationship, which is the world of two people who know each other.
Changes in addressing each other can measure the progress of the relationship between two people.For example, from the initial acquaintance calling each other by name, to omitting the surname and only calling each other by name, at this time, the relationship is already one step closer than ordinary acquaintance, and when it develops closer, it becomes a sweet and unique address.For example, Lin Juemin called his wife Yiying Qingqing.
The two young people need the bridge function of language to develop from acquaintance to mutual acquaintance to mutual love.Appropriate use of nicknames can promote the development of the relationship between two people.But using a nickname at an inappropriate time will destroy the emotional communication between two people.Therefore, it should be noted that the selection of nicknames is ever-changing and varies from person to person. The timing of using nicknames should be private occasions, and it is not suitable to use them in public occasions, as it will appear very disrespectful.
Pay attention to the use of love words.The charm of love words lies in the ability to touch people's hearts the most.For example: if the sea is dry and the stone is dead, the heart will not change, and a word of love will move the sky and the earth, and then it will be able to move the person you like.
The language should be more implicit: when you are going to express your love, when you are not sure about the attitude of the other party towards you, if you express your emotions implicitly, the other party will think of you consciously or unconsciously. Guess, test, etc.
As a result, your conversation is full of implicit hints. Maybe when he or she has begun to look forward to talking to each other, your language is still full of meaning and meaning.In this issue, there are many tricks and flavors contained in the lingering love stories, all of which need to be savored carefully by him or her, but this is the special charm of love.
When two people finally confess to each other and agree with each other, the conversation can broaden the content of communication. This issue will focus on emotional topics.Focus on developing emotional foundations.Many lovers often rub their ears together during this period, whispering in Yanyu, as if they have endless love words and endless heartfelt words.
The words of love, such as: vows of eternal love, vows, and so on, have already been told, and these kinds of words are mesmerizing at first hearing, but if they are said too much, they will become false.
The most delicate and painstaking words are how to confess to the person you like, how to impress the person you love, and how to open the heart of the person you love.This kind of heart-opening language is the most painstaking.But this is also a sweet and bitter process. You have to constantly test the other person's mind, and also continue to express your emotions appropriately according to the other person's attitude towards you. Only by knowing yourself and the enemy can you promote the development of your relationship.
In the process of opening the heart of the other party, you must always pay attention to it. Language is the key you are carefully crafting, which is suitable for opening the heart of your lover. Therefore, you must not only grasp the gender roles, carry forward the spirit of boldness, initiative, and perseverance, but also pay attention to the other party at all times .Only by knowing yourself and the enemy can you open each other's heart and taste the sweet happiness of love.
Communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
The communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in fact, the most important thing is language communication, the success or failure of language communication directly affects the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
How can mother-in-law and daughter-in-law communicate in language to achieve the goal of living in harmony?
1.The keynote of language conversation is mutual respect and understanding
The keynote of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be mutual respect and understanding.Due to the huge differences in age, occupation, experience, etc. between the two parties, there are differences in values and ethics between the two parties, which can be said to have a generation gap.Therefore, in the daily communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there are often different views and ideas. At this time, both parties need to respect and understand each other.
This first requires the younger generation to pay more attention to taking the initiative to take good care of the elderly. Because the mother-in-law is old and has many psychological and physical characteristics, young people need to learn and understand more.
What kind of character is the mother-in-law?What kind of special experience does she have, what kind of special hobbies and special taboos does she have?Is she financially independent?
2. "Talk" Good Concerto
Once the tone of harmony and mutual respect is set, the usual conversation becomes a concerto.According to the needs of daily communication, talk flexibly and play the concerto well.Always pay attention to the purpose of language, understand the characteristics and needs of mother-in-law to speak.For example, knowing that my mother-in-law is getting old and her memory is not very good, it is best to tell one thing at a time, and it is best to leave a note or call to remind her of too many things.
Daughter-in-law: "Mother-in-law, this is the medicine of Nannan (the language mother-in-law is used to addressing children), one red tablet before lunch, and half a yellow tablet after meal. I went to work. This medicine is very strong. The doctor said, it cannot Eat more." The mother-in-law immediately took out a pen and paper: "Okay, I will write it down, so as not to make a mistake or forget it."
Although it is to ask the child to take medicine, but it is emphasized not to take more, and the mother-in-law also solemnly records the daughter-in-law's words, fearing that mistakes will be made.At noon, I will call my mother-in-law again if it is convenient.She will be happy to accept it.But there are some things that don't need to be reminded, just forget it.The mother-in-law attaches great importance to the child's affairs. If she makes a mistake, she will be very anxious and point it out. She is willing to accept it. However, for example, if she forgets to take out the clothes in the washing machine to dry, she can dry them by herself.
3.Talk by time and place
If the mother-in-law is very careful, and she is not financially independent and relies on her son to live, then be careful that the mother-in-law may be very careful.
For example, at the dinner table, the daughter-in-law said casually while eating: "The price of meat has increased again." The mother-in-law put down the bowl and said angrily: "I'm full, I don't want to eat." The daughter-in-law felt very strange.The mother-in-law thinks that the price of meat has risen just after eating, do you think I eat too much?
If you change the time and place, the effect will be different.For example: In the evening, while watching TV while chatting, the mother-in-law said: "The price of food has increased again, it is so expensive." The daughter-in-law said: "Yes, the meat has also increased a lot." That's a lot to spend."
Both are conveying the message of rising meat prices. The former caused misunderstanding, but the latter caused concern.Therefore, pay attention to the time and place when speaking between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
When we have unpleasant things at work, don't take them home.In daily life, if you are not in a happy mood, you should pay attention to adjustments to avoid affecting the mood of the elderly. Due to various reasons such as age and health, the elderly need to be in a happy mood. Therefore, you should adjust your mood and try to speak at a slower speed.Be good at understanding her words and deeds from her mother-in-law's language.
Misunderstandings in communication between husband and wife
People often think that husband and wife are a family, so they can say whatever they want, and say whatever they want, which is actually wrong.
1.no taboo language
It is often said that marriage is the grave of love.When many people are in love, they always pay attention to their language so as not to cause dissatisfaction with the other party, always pay attention to the effect of their language expression and pay attention to the art of speaking.Once you get married, you think that one family does not talk about two families. From then on, you don't care about each other's feelings at all, and you can say whatever you want, and say whatever you want.
For example, when you originally hoped that the other party would pour you a glass of water, you would say: "Honey, please pour me a glass of water." Now, you say: "Pour a glass of water." The language is reduced to not more than one word .
As a result, the verbal communication began to appear unpleasant, and the original sweetness of love gradually became bitter.Family conflicts began to appear, and marriage cracks occurred.
Family conflicts caused by language communication are one of the major reasons for the failure of many marriages.Many marriages end in the end, largely due to initial language conflicts, which lead to escalation of conflicts and misunderstandings between the two parties and divorce.
2.reduce speech
Many people have the habit of being taciturn or unspoken. When they are in a relationship, in order to attract their beloved, they rack their brains to say sweet words that their lover wants to hear. Once they get married, they think there is no need to talk nonsense.Marriage means that two people live together, and they bother to talk so many sweet words, which is a waste of time and energy.As a result, there is a lack of communication between husband and wife, and there is little communication.The love life of the two began to be dull, and when a third party lured them a little, the marriage was in crisis.
In fact, if a husband and wife have no verbal communication, but just eat and sleep together, how can such a married life not be boring and boring?Then the fresh "little three" can easily be inserted into the married life.
Many people mistakenly think that husband and wife just live behind closed doors, and there is no need for sweet talk anymore. In fact, if there is no verbal communication between husband and wife, then the relationship will change. This change in relationship is very subtle. Maybe when the tree of love withers, it is The moment the marriage ends.Therefore, daily language communication between husband and wife is also very important.
3.Unit affairs and housework
There are often male chauvinists who think that it is completely unnecessary to talk to your wife about the work unit.There are also women who think that talking about work with their husbands is a waste of time.Because from their point of view, when talking to the other party about their own unit, the other party does not know their own unit at all, so it is very troublesome to explain clearly, and it may cause some unnecessary troubles.As a result, in some families, there are silos and non-interference with each other. At home, the affairs of the work unit are not mentioned, and in the work place, family affairs are not mentioned.
Husband and wife should be the best partners who understand, recognize and appreciate each other.For things in the unit, tell your lover, let your lover come up with ideas and make suggestions. This is not only an exchange of ideas, but also a process of mutual learning and mutual progress.A lover should not only be someone who accompanies you in life, but also a good partner who grows with your thoughts.
4.don't talk big
Some men like to tell their wives about their lofty ideals, and sometimes they even like to brag in front of their lovers.The more he blows, the more excited he gets, and he gets carried away talking.Originally, husband and wife could indeed talk freely and talk about everything.Now that we are all a family, we can talk as long as we want, and talk about it happily.
However, big words and empty words spoken out of mouth will bring bad consequences to the family.So be careful not to say the following words as much as possible.
Don't talk about it.The repetitive words are tiresome, and Tang Seng's nagging made the two little ghosts commit suicide. Although it is an exaggeration to explain how terrible the nagging is, the actual nagging is really annoying.
Speech accusations sparingly or cautiously.
The private conversation between two people is nothing more than talking, and it is not necessary to disclose the privacy of the lover outside at will, or deliberately expose short words.
Language Skills to Keep Love "Fresh"
How to keep love from entering the grave because of marriage?If a wonderful love is compared to a beautiful flower, the sweet words used when falling in love are just the dew that nourishes this beautiful flower.After entering the marriage, all the sweet talk during the relationship has gradually dissipated like dew on the flower of love.
How to make the language in marriage continue to nourish the flower of love like sunshine and rain, and keep love forever "fresh", still requires language skills.Some people say that it is too false to use language skills to treat your lover after marriage.Then you just need to listen to what Deng Wendi said: "Winning others' hearts is actually very simple, as long as you have enough language skills." Are you still planning to use real words to hurt your love?
When the two parties in love enter into marriage, the love has passed the honeymoon period, and the language between lovers is no longer just sweet talk, such as: Before getting married, without your company, my life will be exhausted.After marriage, such words seem superfluous.But you still need to pay attention to the language after marriage:
1.easy communication
Be mindful to still keep your daily emotional light on communication.Ask about the feelings of the other party's family with concern, listen to the other party's story, or take time to discuss together your views on a certain book or a movie.Even if time is limited, even if you are busy at work, find time to talk to your loved one for a few minutes.If you want to ask questions, it's better to be specific than abstract.This kind of communication lets the other person know that you care about your lover's feelings.Even if it is just a few minutes of easy communication every day, it is more beneficial to the "freshness" of love than no communication.
2.chat hobbies
Although men and women often have different hobbies and interests, talking about each other's hobbies and hobbies is very important for the "freshness" of two people's love.You can also develop a common interest and hobby.For example: watch a ball game together, dance together, and so on.What are the topics that your lover is interested in, and your eyes light up when your lover talks about it?Common interests and hobbies can keep your romance alive.
3.minimize questioning
People often live together, and suddenly find that the person they love is not as perfect as they thought they were, or feel that after getting married, there is no need to spend any more effort to please the lover and relax.So falling in love is obeying what your lover says, and after getting married, you will reveal your selfish nature, which is a dangerous signal.
Not only do you have to minimize the behavior of the other party to question you, but you should also pay attention to the language and ask the other party less.For example: "You said..., why didn't you do it?" "You used to..." and so on, don't blame your lover.This way you can safely talk openly and honestly with each other.If you do have complaints about your lover's behavior, look for opportunities to admonish them.
For example, "I found that you hardly communicate with me after getting married", which can be changed to: "I hope to go for a walk in the park after dinner today and chat." Such words are easier to accept and improve.
4.find time to connect
Since after getting married, each of them regards work as the focus of life, and the emotional communication is not as close as when they were in love.And because of work, each has its own workspace.However, in order to keep love "fresh" in a marriage, you still need to spend more time communicating outside of work, especially when one of the two parties is on a business trip. This kind of spatial distance requires dense love words to maintain feelings.
For example, on festivals, especially special anniversaries between two people: such as the anniversary of the first kiss, the anniversary of a romantic relationship, the anniversary of engagement, the anniversary of marriage, etc.Timely two people have some lingering love talks, which has a very good effect on promoting the relationship between two people.
It can be done directly, over the phone, or by letter.When you feel bored, you can make a phone call and talk to your lover, and when you are happy, share it with your lover.As a result, you will gradually feel the feelings of me in you and you in me.
Every once in a while, go out to exercise or eat together, which can make each other more focused on each other.
(End of this chapter)
In daily life, it is often found that some people use arbitrary language to hurt their lovers. They know that they love each other, but they don't know how to express their love.There are also people who express love using language that hurts love, and the results can be imagined.It is very important to learn to express love correctly using the language of love.
Learn to say "no" to loved ones
We are not sages, and we all make mistakes, so people often think that loving each other should tolerate and understand each other, but it should be noted that tolerance and understanding are not condoning.
If a loved one makes an unintentional mistake, then you need to accommodate his or her inadvertence.But when your loved one makes all kinds of unreasonable demands due to vanity or comparison, or makes incomprehensible unreasonable actions, you should stop being tolerant. Say "no" firmly.
For example, some children are not sensible and often make various demands to their parents.Parents satisfy their children out of love for their children.But when the child's request cannot be met at all, it is an unreasonable request, and the parents should say "no".Some girls will also show a little temper towards the boyfriend they love.If her boyfriend adopts a tolerant attitude towards her petty temper, then her petty temper may become bigger and bigger, and develop to the point where he is in a lot of trouble.
However, if you say "no" between lovers, you have to worry about not hurting your relationship.Therefore, many men often say "no" in the following ways.
1.Adopt an attitude of "listening" or "silent"
For the unreasonable demands of your loved one, you can treat them with a listening or silent attitude.If she had to gradually understand the bottom line, she would not make such unreasonable demands in the future.
2.switch focus
When a child makes unreasonable demands, the parents only need to divert the child's attention. For women who make unreasonable troubles, they can also use the method of diverting her attention.Shift her focus so she can temporarily focus elsewhere.
These two methods are mainly not to confront the opponent head-on, but they can achieve the effect of overcoming rigidity with softness.But for some frontal conflicts, it needs to be resolved in a humorous way, firm but soft.
Dr. Wang is a very masculine person. Although his character is not bad, his typical patriarchal thinking really makes many women unbearable.The smart and beautiful Fang, after dating Dr. Wang for a period of time, thinks that his character is not bad, but this point needs to be improved, but Dr. Wang does not think that his patriarchal thinking is wrong.
Dr. Wang felt that he and Fang had a lot of face.In order to show among his friends that he has conquered the beautiful woman, he often bosses her around and tells her what to do.
Once at a class reunion, everyone chatted happily. Dr. Wang found out that the drink was gone, so he handed an empty bottle to Fang.Fang also understood that he was trying to send people around again, but she deliberately said to him: "Dear Dr. Wang, how can I buy drinks if I don't have money?" Angrily accused Fang: "Three-year-olds will spend money to buy drinks, if you can buy drinks without spending money, it proves that you have both talent and looks."
Fang was very disgusted with his machismo, and wanted to ignore him in public, but considering that there were many classmates present, she didn't want to embarrass him too much among classmates.So he took the drink bottle and left.
After a while, Fang came back and handed Dr. Wang an empty drink bottle.Dr. Wang took it and felt very dissatisfied, so he questioned: "Why give me an empty bottle, what do you want me to drink?"
Fang smiled and said: "Three-year-olds can drink beverages, but if you drink beverages from an empty bottle, then you are a truly incomparable university student."
Dr. Wang was speechless, and the students found it very interesting.So amidst the laughter of the students, Fang opened the drink she bought and poured it for everyone, enjoying the refreshing and delicious drink with the students comfortably.Dr. Wang originally wanted to show among his classmates that he had conquered a woman with both talent and beauty, but Fang hit him back humorously.
Fang's humorous counterattack not only expressed her dissatisfaction with him, but also hit his vanity.
Two people who love each other may become a family that stays together for life, so how to get along well will be related to the happiness of the two people for a lifetime.It is often said that a good marriage is a school.When a lover has bad words and deeds, it is not to be tolerant and understanding blindly, but to be able to help the lover grow.When the loved one is wrong, the other party should say "no" in a way that the lover can accept, and help him improve and improve.
Let us learn to say "no" gently but firmly to the people we love.Problems in marriage are only dealt with when we understand that a good marriage is a good school.
words of complaint said softly
Conflicts between people are actually not conflicts of interest most of the time.Often due to poor language communication, misunderstandings arise.The contradictions and conflicts between men and women are mostly caused by differences in language expression and language understanding.So how to establish an effective communication in the language communication between people?
Pay attention to one thing: pay attention to the dissatisfaction with the other party, speak gently, and communicate in a way that he accepts.And don't talk behind your back when you are dissatisfied with the other party, or lose your temper viciously, accuse, etc.Doing so will only escalate the conflict, and will not help resolve the conflict and solve the problem.
For example, the wife is very dissatisfied with her husband. Instead of talking to her husband, the wife goes to other people to complain about her husband’s problems. This will not only fail to solve the problem, but will also lead to new conflicts.
A-Lian and A-Jie have always had a good relationship as husband and wife, and everyone who knows them thinks they are a model couple.For a while, Alian was very busy with work and often worked overtime, which caused a misunderstanding between them.Ajie felt that his wife only had work in her eyes, and she didn't care about herself and the family at all.Alian felt that her husband didn't support her work at all recently, and she didn't understand herself.
Finally, Ajie lost his temper: accusing Alian of being a workaholic and having no home in his eyes.Alian felt that her husband was too inconsiderate of her, so the two had a big fight.
It just so happened that a husband and wife friend the two of them knew had contact with A-Lian at work, so A-Lian couldn't help but tell them all her troubles and anguish.Unexpectedly, they told her that A-Jie often praised A-Lian as a perfect wife outside, and pointed out that A-Lian went to relatives and friends to scold A-Jie and hurt his self-esteem, and suggested that they should communicate more.Don't vent behind your back, or get angry in front of your face, it won't solve the real problem.
Alian thought about it carefully, and felt that the way she handled it was indeed too impatient.So he took the initiative to ask Ajie to talk.During the conversation between the two, it turned out that Ajie hoped that Alian would not work too hard, but just felt sorry for her being too tired.And A-Lian felt that her husband didn't support her work because he was afraid that she would be too tired.After this communication, the two reconciled.
In daily life, we only need to change our tone a little bit, and we will find that the communication effect is different.For example, complaining: "You are busy with work all day long, and you never care about this family" "You love playing games so much, so you have been with games." Let me go, okay? Caring about me is much better than caring about the game, you can get my loyalty if you care about me."
Such words are not only a change of tone, but also a change of attitude.A supplicant tone is easier to accept, while an accusatory tone can deepen opinions and contradictions.Blaming is an attitude of complaining, whereas supplication is an attitude of suggesting.
If you look at the problem from another angle, you will find that the problem is very different.For example: you accuse him of being careless and sloppy, but from another angle, you will find that he is not fussy and easy-going;
Complaining not only spreads negative emotions, but also does not solve the problem.Instead of getting angry and complaining, it is better to actively find a way to solve the problem.If you are in a bad mood, then do something you like: watching TV, listening to music or doing sports.When the mood is good, there is nothing to complain about.
Complaining regardless of occasion or location will destroy the joyful and harmonious atmosphere of the family, and it will have no effect.Therefore, if you want to make complaints work, choose a good time and place, and have a big complaint with him to make him realize that he should improve.
It is more effective to choose to complain when the other person is in a good mood.For example: when Ah Xia celebrated her birthday, her husband asked her to make a wish.What troubles Axia the most is that her husband never returns home late but never calls to tell her in advance.She talked to her husband many times, but the husband refused to change after repeated admonitions.So Axia made a wish: "I hope that when my husband can't come home on time, I will call and tell myself so that I will not be frightened." After hearing this, the husband was of course moved and guilty, thinking that he usually forgets the time when he is busy. Not to mention calling home.So, he promised to do it.
Your words of praise may encourage him or her to be exactly what you say you are.He or she will also create an image of what you admire in his or her mind, and then work hard to live up to that.On the contrary, if you complain frequently, then he will really become more and more like what you complain about.
In daily life, falling in love is easy but getting along is not easy, how to do it and cherish it?Behaviors that are not cherished should be put an end to, and words that are not cherished should be spoken as little as possible or gently.People are not sages. In order to minimize the mistakes of oneself and your lover, it is necessary to complain, but you must complain rationally and effectively.
Nagging less and caring more
Nagging is a relationship killer, but many people don't notice it.Once many women get married, the biggest change may be from cute before marriage to terrible after marriage.Once a man gets married, the biggest fear is the nagging of women.
Saying what you care about once is just right, saying it twice is emphasizing it, and saying it three times is already a bit too much.Even if it's about caring, saying it four or five times is nagging and annoying, but many women make this mistake, and they don't feel annoying after saying caring words ten times.What about complaining?
If you ask a married man what he hates most about his wife, I believe 90% of the men will say that it is the endless nagging of his wife.They open their eyes every day and start talking non-stop, either this is not done well, or that sentence is wrong, or it is not knowing how to take out the garbage and other trivial matters.
With Ah Qiang's insistence, he and Ah Fen finally divorced.Ah Fen thinks that she and Ah Qiang still have feelings for each other, so they will not divorce.She is not very willing to divorce, she thinks Ah Qiang is a good husband, it's just that he doesn't talk much after marriage.
But Qiang thinks they absolutely need a divorce.During a trip, Ah Qiang said to his fellow travelers: "Before I got married, Ah Fen was so cute! When I talked, she always listened to me like a bird, and I felt very happy. But after getting married, she changed, she likes to criticize me endlessly. I feel like I fell from heaven to hell. As long as I am with her, she criticizes me over and over again, the floor is too dirty and things are not put in the right place. She can talk about a little thing for a long time. Every time I want to look at the stars and listen to music with her as before, I’m sorry, it’s impossible. During the nagging, although we still have a little affection, I really can't stand her nagging."
There is a book on psychology that has a clear psychological analysis of nagging: "Like nagging can only show that you are mentally immature, pursue perfection, don't know how to appreciate the beauty of shortcomings, and don't mind exerting troubles and dissatisfaction on others. s damage."
Nagging women all have unrealistic psychological characteristics of high expectations for marriage.They expect their husbands to be capable, hardworking, and love themselves very much.But once they get married, they find that this high expectation has failed, so they start nagging. They don't know that nagging will make things worse, and they just vent their worries and dissatisfaction.
Ah Qin's father is very diligent and capable, and can repair any broken things in the house.Ah Qin thought in her heart that a man should be so diligent and capable.
Her expectations for marriage were higher than they actually were.Because after she got married, her husband didn't like to do housework, nor was he good at repairing home appliances.
As a result, Ah Qin was very dissatisfied with her husband for not being diligent and unable to repair home appliances, and often complained.It happened that she had a best friend who majored in psychology, and this best friend pointed out the crux of the problem.So, she began not to compare her husband with her father, lowered her expectations for marriage, and stopped nagging.In the end, she found that her husband cared about the family instead and took the initiative to undertake some housework.
There was a report: A middle-aged man divorced his wife who had been married for more than 20 years because he couldn't stand nagging and accusations.In order not to hear nagging and accusations from now on, the man immediately married a deaf-mute wife after the divorce.
From this example, we can understand the consequences of nagging.No one is not bored or even resented by nagging people.
When you use nagging as a tool to achieve your goal of perfecting others, remind you that it is the opposite.When you take nagging as a kind of confidant, a kind of venting, please change the way.If you are dissatisfied with your lover, don't think that nagging can change it. Nagging is the grave of love and the killer of marriage.Less nagging, more love.
never use forced language
We don't have the right to use coercive language on others to make them do what we don't want to do, and likewise, others don't have the right to use coercive language on us to make us do what we don't want to do.
Forced language or command language hurts a person's self-esteem and hurts emotions.
Ah Yue's husband has gastritis.One time, Ah Yue made a meal and asked her husband to come to eat quickly.But her husband is addicted to reading, so Ah Yue ordered impatiently: "You think you have stomach cancer? Why don't you come over to eat?"
Her words made her husband look ugly.Although my husband came over for dinner, he was very dissatisfied.This happened so many times that the two actually had a big fight over it.Ah Yue felt that she was very wronged, and had to call him several times when she was cooking.You have to say harsh words to come out.
If Ah Yue orders, you can say softly: "Come and eat, your stomach is not good, don't wait for the food to cool. I made soup for you, it is very nourishing." Then her husband will be angry ?
You have to know that you can't trap a man with a gun.Likewise, you can't force your significant other to do something, even if he did it against his will.
In life, people who speak in a commanding or coercive tone do not know how to respect their significant other.They or they said: "You must do what I say, you must do what I say." They should be expressed in a gentle and flexible way.Know that gentleness is more powerful than force.
There used to be a fable:
Who is stronger, the north wind or the sun.They agree that whoever can take off the clothes of pedestrians on the road will be more powerful.The north wind came first, and with all its strength, it blew desperately at the pedestrians. As a result, the pedestrians felt cold and wrapped their coats tightly.The north wind blew and blew, and I was exhausted.So, the sun came out.The sun slowly and warmly shone on the pedestrians without exerting any force. After a while, the pedestrians unbuttoned their clothes and took off their coats.
As a result, the north wind lost, and the sun said: "The strength of mildness is greater than that of cold."
Gentleness is stronger than coldness, so why would you use forceful words when you can do more with them?
In fact, A Ling is very good at cooking, but after she got married, she ate her husband's cooking every day.Even at work, her husband would drive home and cook for her.Her husband didn't know how to cook before marriage, and he didn't like to cook.
It turned out that not long after they got married, A Ling caught a cold, and her husband cooked a bowl of egg noodles for her.She was moved and exclaimed: "If it wasn't for a cold, I really wouldn't be able to eat your cooked noodles! It's so delicious!" Her husband stroked her hair and said, "This is simple, I will cook for you in the future, as long as you hurry up stand up."
Sure enough, even after A Ling recovered from her cold, her husband would cook for her every day. A Ling ate the food cooked by her husband and admired it every day. In this way, her husband's cooking skills became better and better.In fact, A Ling has a secret that she will never tell: the egg noodles that her husband first cooked were raw noodles.
Remember that words of praise are more powerful than words of compulsion, so you should ditch those compulsions as soon as possible.Let you and your loved ones live happily in your gentle words.
Replace blame and criticism with encouragement
Replacing accusations and criticism with encouragement is actually a kind of self-cultivation improvement.When you see a loved one make a mistake, you get annoyed and immediately blame.The so-called deep love and serious responsibility, but this kind of accusation often fails to achieve the expected effect.In our daily life, we often find that we get along well with outsiders, but it is always difficult to get along well with our family members. This is the reason.
People have this kind of mentality: When getting along with outsiders, it is acceptable to take care of outsiders when speaking carefully. In addition, even if outsiders have shortcomings and mistakes, they will point them out gently or turn a blind eye.But for the one you love, it's easy to blurt out.I felt like my family, so I blamed and criticized without any scruples.
However, maintaining a marriage requires the cooperation of two people, and to end a marriage, it is over if only one party is unwilling to cooperate anymore.Everyone has shortcomings of one kind or another. In addition to hurting feelings, accusations and criticisms are far less effective than encouragement.
When a loved one makes a mistake, you directly accuse: "This is too stupid" or "This is completely wrong", which will make him feel very uncomfortable and will be very unconvinced.If you can "appreciate first and then criticize", such as pills, which are coated with sugar on the outside, children will not be afraid to take medicine, and the effect is very good.
For example, if you intend to accuse him of a wrong method, you can say "your method is indeed very good, but it needs to be improved." After saying this, the effect will definitely be that he is happily looking for ways to improve.
1.Encourage with caring
No one can never be wrong, so making mistakes is not a big deal.People who pursue perfection can't stand even a single mistake, they just endless nagging and countless accusations, asking the other party to be perfect, and thinking that they are doing it for the sake of the one they love, is actually more annoying than Tang Seng.As long as there is no principled mistake in life, as long as the person who made the mistake knows it himself, it is fine to encourage him not to make such a mistake next time.
2.Fewer Commands, More Suggestions
Some people think that they are already their own family members, so they can order and demand unceremoniously.It's actually hurtful.It is necessary to change the tone of the order into a suggestion, and it is easier to get along with the tone of negotiation.You take something and you want him to help, so you order, "Help me." But maybe you say, "Can you take it for me, Hercules."
3.way to remind
A husband didn't like to wash before going to bed. His wife accused him every day: "Go and wash, and you can't go to bed without washing." One day, he came home late from overtime work, so he went to bed. The wife was very annoyed and accused: " I didn’t wash up again, how many times have I told you?” The husband was tired and annoyed, he pulled the quilt and fell asleep.
After getting along for a long time, I know each other's habits very well. If the wife gently said: "It's so late, are you tired? Go soak your feet, it's very refreshing." The result may be different.
4.question less and care more
The tone of questioning can make the other party speechless, but the family is not a battlefield, and questioning is the tone used for those enemies.The questioning tone should be used sparingly.If your husband often comes home very late, do you ask angrily: "Why didn't you come home on time? Where did you go?" It is likely that your husband will answer impatiently: "You can control where I like to go." Are you ready?" However, you asked with concern: "I came home so late, did you work overtime?".
5.don't say absolute words
There is nothing more unreasonable and least respectable than absolute words.For example, "You never figured it out, so you're always wrong" "You never heard what I said".Such words are not only the most untrue words, but also the most hurtful words.How does the listener feel about this?Really never?
The listener feels like he is worthless in your eyes.Who wants to be completely denied by a loved one like this?If you say something like: "Do you sometimes make decisions without knowing the situation?" "Can you take my advice?"
Love is as simple as one word, not love is as simple as two words.But there are thousands of ways to express love and ways to express dislike.One of the verbal ways of expressing dislove is accusation and criticism.Maybe you are still in love, but you have been using the language of not loving to express your love.Who will blame you and criticize you for your mistakes?Not just you, many people like to express love in the language of unlove.Encourage everyone to learn to use the correct language to express love.
Love at First Sight and Love at First Sight
How to talk to the person you love?There are two types of love between men and women, one is love at first sight, and the other is love at first sight.Regardless of the model, falling in love is mainly about language communication.
1.long-term love
The long-term love is the sublimation of two people's relationship from friendship to love in their constant daily communication.This kind of long-term love-style love is very common.The two young people have experienced many years together, they understand each other and trust each other, so their relationship took a "leap".At this time, the first confession of love is very important, because it will be kept in the hearts of both parties as a good memory forever.
In the 19th century, the famous French microbiologist Louis Pasteur won love in a sincere way when he confessed his love to his beloved.
University teacher Buster and Miss Marie, daughter of Laurent, president of the University of Strasbourg in France, are very good friends.After several years of friendship, the two got to know each other, and Buster fell in love with Mary.
So Buster not only wrote a proposal letter to Miss Mary, but also wrote separate letters to her parents.The language of Buster's letter to Mr. Laurent, the president of the university, is very frank, honest, and passionate. He wrote in the letter: "I have deep feelings for Miss Mary. But I still decide to put The fact that I am a poor man will make it easier for you to decide whether to reject or approve. I estimate that my wealth is only 5 francs. A share of my fortune was given to my sisters, so I am a poor man without property. But I have health, no fear of difficulties, and a love of science, and I am not a man who loves science for the sake of status."
Buster's sincere confession won the approval of Miss Mary and Miss Mary's parents.
2.The communication language of love at first sight
There is love at first sight in life, but it is not easy to have results.Since love at first sight is produced by the intuitive senses of both parties, it is determined by the image and impression of the other party, such as appearance, demeanor, speech, etc., so that the "love" between a man and a woman often occurs at "first sight".This kind of emotional foundation needs language communication to deepen, so falling in love requires a good way of conversation to promote feelings.Beautiful words not only sincerely reflect one's heartbeat at this time, but also resonate with both parties.
In 1920, at a ball in Paris, Captain de Gaulle fell in love with Mademoiselle Vendulot at first sight.De Gaulle is also very confident. He thinks that Miss Wang Duluo has a good impression of him.So he invited Miss Venturot to dance, and said while dancing: "I am very honored to know you. I am also very honored that you accepted my invitation. This is a very beautiful feeling..." And Miss Venturot Said happily: "Dear Captain, I feel that no one is more beautiful than your words. This is an incomparably beautiful time..." So the two danced while telling each other their truest and most beautiful feelings. At six dances, they swore never to be separated.This conversation of love at first sight set the keynote of their life's happiness. De Gaulle and his wife admired and encouraged each other throughout their lives.
Talk heartfeltly to each other and generate subtle feelings; use soft words like the breeze to express tenderness and caress; use the most authentic sweet words to bring both parties into a beautiful and romantic world.On the contrary, say to your lover in a rough voice: "Let's go to the movies!" "I had a great time today!" Your lover will definitely think you are an uncultivated, rough fool.So will your lover still love you?
Of course, in life, people have different personalities, hobbies, and cultural accomplishments, so there is no fixed pattern for dating.But there are ground rules when it comes to dating:
1.When talking about ideals, you must have lofty ideals to talk about, and you must show your desire to enrich your knowledge at all times;
2.Naturally reveal a beautiful heart and express one's feelings colorfully;
3.Use more modest tone and show sincerity;
4.Be subtle when expressing your love.
By following these basic rules, the initial conversation between lovers will establish a good foundation, thus laying the foundation for further conversations in the future.
Whispering has its special expressive effect.Whispers between lovers carry a stronger message of love than words spoken aloud.
If you have a little misunderstanding or a little conflict with your lover, and you whisper a few words in his or her ear, the conflict and misunderstanding will disappear immediately.People in love use whispers, which can make love communicate smoothly and make you the happiest person.
There's a knack for talking to people you like
In life, many people meet someone they like and don't know how to talk.Because when I am with the person I like, I care too much about the impression I leave on him or her. I feel that if I say this, I will look too stupid, and if I say that, I will appear to be very thoughtless.Under heavy worries, the atmosphere gradually fell into an embarrassing predicament.
How to have a pleasant conversation with the person you like?
1.don't put on airs
When you are with the person you like, find a topic that both of you like to talk about. If you can’t find it, then ask the person you like to talk about it. You can find a common topic based on what the person you like says.Talking with people in a natural and sincere manner is the most effective way of communication.
If you talk to people in a pretentious manner, it will only arouse the resentment of others.
2.words of praise can be used appropriately
When you can't find a suitable topic when you are with someone you like, you can say compliments.Because it is someone you really like, so he or she definitely has the advantages you appreciate, or the charm that attracts you.And the advantages and charms of the other party, if you express them naturally and truthfully, the other party must feel very happy.
For a beautiful person, it is really beautiful to praise her; for a talented person, it is very talented to praise him.This kind of true and natural expression is very touching.But be careful not to use exaggerated words.
3.Pay attention to modest speech, gentle and polite attitude
Pay attention to using more modest words, not to ask you to speak more polite words, but to listen to the other party's opinions more during the conversation, and don't impose your own views on the other party.A gentle and polite attitude is conducive to creating a harmonious atmosphere for conversation.
Especially men, in conversations, you should pay attention to modesty in your words, and always show that you respect the other party and are willing to talk to the other party.
4.Show affection naturally and sincerely
When you like him or her, there is no need to be nervous or worry.You can sincerely and naturally show that you have a good impression of him or her.If he or she doesn't like you, then you haven't lost anything, you can still like him or her, but you can appreciate him or her from a distance.
Most of us are ordinary people, we can't go anywhere, and we can't be brilliant and attract all the people we like.We all may not be able to make the friends we want to make, and we may not be able to catch up with the people we like, but it is enough for us to appreciate the beauty of life and enable ourselves to appreciate that unique beauty.Talking with the person you like with this natural and clear attitude will benefit you a lot.
In short: When talking with someone you like, you must first maintain a relaxed and happy mood, and secondly, your attitude should be gentle and polite.Express your affection with humble words.
Language is the key to open the door of love
Language is the key to open love. Only with the key of language can one open one's heart, thus open the other's heart and achieve spiritual communication, thus opening a beautiful love. This is the realm of mutual understanding.
In the world of love, a man and a woman need to talk to understand each other, achieve emotional communication, care for each other, and fall in love.People often say that when you fall in love, love means talking.
In daily life, many men are not good at verbal expression. Although they have a good impression of the other party, they are embarrassed to say it, and they think that it is more practical to speak well than to do well, so they often do a lot for the girl they like. But the girl has become someone else's bride.
If human love is a dazzling flower, then the lingering love words between lovers are the beautiful pearl on this dazzling flower.These shining beautiful pearls are just the beautiful and sincere words of the soul that the lovers open their hearts to reveal. These beautiful words of the soul trickle out from the depths of the hearts of people in love, blooming with beautiful brilliance .In the best years of life, lovers cuddle up to each other, nostalgic for the time before the flowers and under the moon, and whisper their wonderful feelings.
How do you fall in love when you meet someone you like?Xu Zhimo expressed his love with poetic language.Van Gogh expresses the language of his soul with his magic brush.How do we ordinary people talk to make love sweet and make lovers get married?
Nicknames can shorten the distance between lovers.If you meet someone you like, don't use nicknames for her or him directly, but use nicknames in a timely manner.Nickname is a ruler to measure the distance of interpersonal relationship. When you no longer call him or her by name, your relationship will naturally be one step closer.Lin Huiyin said in the poem that you are the April day of the world, and this legendary woman called her lover the April day of the world.She didn't specify who her lover was, and only she and her lover knew her title.
A romantic relationship is a unique relationship, and this unique title reflects this unique relationship, which is the world of two people who know each other.
Changes in addressing each other can measure the progress of the relationship between two people.For example, from the initial acquaintance calling each other by name, to omitting the surname and only calling each other by name, at this time, the relationship is already one step closer than ordinary acquaintance, and when it develops closer, it becomes a sweet and unique address.For example, Lin Juemin called his wife Yiying Qingqing.
The two young people need the bridge function of language to develop from acquaintance to mutual acquaintance to mutual love.Appropriate use of nicknames can promote the development of the relationship between two people.But using a nickname at an inappropriate time will destroy the emotional communication between two people.Therefore, it should be noted that the selection of nicknames is ever-changing and varies from person to person. The timing of using nicknames should be private occasions, and it is not suitable to use them in public occasions, as it will appear very disrespectful.
Pay attention to the use of love words.The charm of love words lies in the ability to touch people's hearts the most.For example: if the sea is dry and the stone is dead, the heart will not change, and a word of love will move the sky and the earth, and then it will be able to move the person you like.
The language should be more implicit: when you are going to express your love, when you are not sure about the attitude of the other party towards you, if you express your emotions implicitly, the other party will think of you consciously or unconsciously. Guess, test, etc.
As a result, your conversation is full of implicit hints. Maybe when he or she has begun to look forward to talking to each other, your language is still full of meaning and meaning.In this issue, there are many tricks and flavors contained in the lingering love stories, all of which need to be savored carefully by him or her, but this is the special charm of love.
When two people finally confess to each other and agree with each other, the conversation can broaden the content of communication. This issue will focus on emotional topics.Focus on developing emotional foundations.Many lovers often rub their ears together during this period, whispering in Yanyu, as if they have endless love words and endless heartfelt words.
The words of love, such as: vows of eternal love, vows, and so on, have already been told, and these kinds of words are mesmerizing at first hearing, but if they are said too much, they will become false.
The most delicate and painstaking words are how to confess to the person you like, how to impress the person you love, and how to open the heart of the person you love.This kind of heart-opening language is the most painstaking.But this is also a sweet and bitter process. You have to constantly test the other person's mind, and also continue to express your emotions appropriately according to the other person's attitude towards you. Only by knowing yourself and the enemy can you promote the development of your relationship.
In the process of opening the heart of the other party, you must always pay attention to it. Language is the key you are carefully crafting, which is suitable for opening the heart of your lover. Therefore, you must not only grasp the gender roles, carry forward the spirit of boldness, initiative, and perseverance, but also pay attention to the other party at all times .Only by knowing yourself and the enemy can you open each other's heart and taste the sweet happiness of love.
Communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
The communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in fact, the most important thing is language communication, the success or failure of language communication directly affects the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
How can mother-in-law and daughter-in-law communicate in language to achieve the goal of living in harmony?
1.The keynote of language conversation is mutual respect and understanding
The keynote of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be mutual respect and understanding.Due to the huge differences in age, occupation, experience, etc. between the two parties, there are differences in values and ethics between the two parties, which can be said to have a generation gap.Therefore, in the daily communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there are often different views and ideas. At this time, both parties need to respect and understand each other.
This first requires the younger generation to pay more attention to taking the initiative to take good care of the elderly. Because the mother-in-law is old and has many psychological and physical characteristics, young people need to learn and understand more.
What kind of character is the mother-in-law?What kind of special experience does she have, what kind of special hobbies and special taboos does she have?Is she financially independent?
2. "Talk" Good Concerto
Once the tone of harmony and mutual respect is set, the usual conversation becomes a concerto.According to the needs of daily communication, talk flexibly and play the concerto well.Always pay attention to the purpose of language, understand the characteristics and needs of mother-in-law to speak.For example, knowing that my mother-in-law is getting old and her memory is not very good, it is best to tell one thing at a time, and it is best to leave a note or call to remind her of too many things.
Daughter-in-law: "Mother-in-law, this is the medicine of Nannan (the language mother-in-law is used to addressing children), one red tablet before lunch, and half a yellow tablet after meal. I went to work. This medicine is very strong. The doctor said, it cannot Eat more." The mother-in-law immediately took out a pen and paper: "Okay, I will write it down, so as not to make a mistake or forget it."
Although it is to ask the child to take medicine, but it is emphasized not to take more, and the mother-in-law also solemnly records the daughter-in-law's words, fearing that mistakes will be made.At noon, I will call my mother-in-law again if it is convenient.She will be happy to accept it.But there are some things that don't need to be reminded, just forget it.The mother-in-law attaches great importance to the child's affairs. If she makes a mistake, she will be very anxious and point it out. She is willing to accept it. However, for example, if she forgets to take out the clothes in the washing machine to dry, she can dry them by herself.
3.Talk by time and place
If the mother-in-law is very careful, and she is not financially independent and relies on her son to live, then be careful that the mother-in-law may be very careful.
For example, at the dinner table, the daughter-in-law said casually while eating: "The price of meat has increased again." The mother-in-law put down the bowl and said angrily: "I'm full, I don't want to eat." The daughter-in-law felt very strange.The mother-in-law thinks that the price of meat has risen just after eating, do you think I eat too much?
If you change the time and place, the effect will be different.For example: In the evening, while watching TV while chatting, the mother-in-law said: "The price of food has increased again, it is so expensive." The daughter-in-law said: "Yes, the meat has also increased a lot." That's a lot to spend."
Both are conveying the message of rising meat prices. The former caused misunderstanding, but the latter caused concern.Therefore, pay attention to the time and place when speaking between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
When we have unpleasant things at work, don't take them home.In daily life, if you are not in a happy mood, you should pay attention to adjustments to avoid affecting the mood of the elderly. Due to various reasons such as age and health, the elderly need to be in a happy mood. Therefore, you should adjust your mood and try to speak at a slower speed.Be good at understanding her words and deeds from her mother-in-law's language.
Misunderstandings in communication between husband and wife
People often think that husband and wife are a family, so they can say whatever they want, and say whatever they want, which is actually wrong.
1.no taboo language
It is often said that marriage is the grave of love.When many people are in love, they always pay attention to their language so as not to cause dissatisfaction with the other party, always pay attention to the effect of their language expression and pay attention to the art of speaking.Once you get married, you think that one family does not talk about two families. From then on, you don't care about each other's feelings at all, and you can say whatever you want, and say whatever you want.
For example, when you originally hoped that the other party would pour you a glass of water, you would say: "Honey, please pour me a glass of water." Now, you say: "Pour a glass of water." The language is reduced to not more than one word .
As a result, the verbal communication began to appear unpleasant, and the original sweetness of love gradually became bitter.Family conflicts began to appear, and marriage cracks occurred.
Family conflicts caused by language communication are one of the major reasons for the failure of many marriages.Many marriages end in the end, largely due to initial language conflicts, which lead to escalation of conflicts and misunderstandings between the two parties and divorce.
2.reduce speech
Many people have the habit of being taciturn or unspoken. When they are in a relationship, in order to attract their beloved, they rack their brains to say sweet words that their lover wants to hear. Once they get married, they think there is no need to talk nonsense.Marriage means that two people live together, and they bother to talk so many sweet words, which is a waste of time and energy.As a result, there is a lack of communication between husband and wife, and there is little communication.The love life of the two began to be dull, and when a third party lured them a little, the marriage was in crisis.
In fact, if a husband and wife have no verbal communication, but just eat and sleep together, how can such a married life not be boring and boring?Then the fresh "little three" can easily be inserted into the married life.
Many people mistakenly think that husband and wife just live behind closed doors, and there is no need for sweet talk anymore. In fact, if there is no verbal communication between husband and wife, then the relationship will change. This change in relationship is very subtle. Maybe when the tree of love withers, it is The moment the marriage ends.Therefore, daily language communication between husband and wife is also very important.
3.Unit affairs and housework
There are often male chauvinists who think that it is completely unnecessary to talk to your wife about the work unit.There are also women who think that talking about work with their husbands is a waste of time.Because from their point of view, when talking to the other party about their own unit, the other party does not know their own unit at all, so it is very troublesome to explain clearly, and it may cause some unnecessary troubles.As a result, in some families, there are silos and non-interference with each other. At home, the affairs of the work unit are not mentioned, and in the work place, family affairs are not mentioned.
Husband and wife should be the best partners who understand, recognize and appreciate each other.For things in the unit, tell your lover, let your lover come up with ideas and make suggestions. This is not only an exchange of ideas, but also a process of mutual learning and mutual progress.A lover should not only be someone who accompanies you in life, but also a good partner who grows with your thoughts.
4.don't talk big
Some men like to tell their wives about their lofty ideals, and sometimes they even like to brag in front of their lovers.The more he blows, the more excited he gets, and he gets carried away talking.Originally, husband and wife could indeed talk freely and talk about everything.Now that we are all a family, we can talk as long as we want, and talk about it happily.
However, big words and empty words spoken out of mouth will bring bad consequences to the family.So be careful not to say the following words as much as possible.
Don't talk about it.The repetitive words are tiresome, and Tang Seng's nagging made the two little ghosts commit suicide. Although it is an exaggeration to explain how terrible the nagging is, the actual nagging is really annoying.
Speech accusations sparingly or cautiously.
The private conversation between two people is nothing more than talking, and it is not necessary to disclose the privacy of the lover outside at will, or deliberately expose short words.
Language Skills to Keep Love "Fresh"
How to keep love from entering the grave because of marriage?If a wonderful love is compared to a beautiful flower, the sweet words used when falling in love are just the dew that nourishes this beautiful flower.After entering the marriage, all the sweet talk during the relationship has gradually dissipated like dew on the flower of love.
How to make the language in marriage continue to nourish the flower of love like sunshine and rain, and keep love forever "fresh", still requires language skills.Some people say that it is too false to use language skills to treat your lover after marriage.Then you just need to listen to what Deng Wendi said: "Winning others' hearts is actually very simple, as long as you have enough language skills." Are you still planning to use real words to hurt your love?
When the two parties in love enter into marriage, the love has passed the honeymoon period, and the language between lovers is no longer just sweet talk, such as: Before getting married, without your company, my life will be exhausted.After marriage, such words seem superfluous.But you still need to pay attention to the language after marriage:
1.easy communication
Be mindful to still keep your daily emotional light on communication.Ask about the feelings of the other party's family with concern, listen to the other party's story, or take time to discuss together your views on a certain book or a movie.Even if time is limited, even if you are busy at work, find time to talk to your loved one for a few minutes.If you want to ask questions, it's better to be specific than abstract.This kind of communication lets the other person know that you care about your lover's feelings.Even if it is just a few minutes of easy communication every day, it is more beneficial to the "freshness" of love than no communication.
2.chat hobbies
Although men and women often have different hobbies and interests, talking about each other's hobbies and hobbies is very important for the "freshness" of two people's love.You can also develop a common interest and hobby.For example: watch a ball game together, dance together, and so on.What are the topics that your lover is interested in, and your eyes light up when your lover talks about it?Common interests and hobbies can keep your romance alive.
3.minimize questioning
People often live together, and suddenly find that the person they love is not as perfect as they thought they were, or feel that after getting married, there is no need to spend any more effort to please the lover and relax.So falling in love is obeying what your lover says, and after getting married, you will reveal your selfish nature, which is a dangerous signal.
Not only do you have to minimize the behavior of the other party to question you, but you should also pay attention to the language and ask the other party less.For example: "You said..., why didn't you do it?" "You used to..." and so on, don't blame your lover.This way you can safely talk openly and honestly with each other.If you do have complaints about your lover's behavior, look for opportunities to admonish them.
For example, "I found that you hardly communicate with me after getting married", which can be changed to: "I hope to go for a walk in the park after dinner today and chat." Such words are easier to accept and improve.
4.find time to connect
Since after getting married, each of them regards work as the focus of life, and the emotional communication is not as close as when they were in love.And because of work, each has its own workspace.However, in order to keep love "fresh" in a marriage, you still need to spend more time communicating outside of work, especially when one of the two parties is on a business trip. This kind of spatial distance requires dense love words to maintain feelings.
For example, on festivals, especially special anniversaries between two people: such as the anniversary of the first kiss, the anniversary of a romantic relationship, the anniversary of engagement, the anniversary of marriage, etc.Timely two people have some lingering love talks, which has a very good effect on promoting the relationship between two people.
It can be done directly, over the phone, or by letter.When you feel bored, you can make a phone call and talk to your lover, and when you are happy, share it with your lover.As a result, you will gradually feel the feelings of me in you and you in me.
Every once in a while, go out to exercise or eat together, which can make each other more focused on each other.
(End of this chapter)
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