speaking psychology

Chapter 11

In daily life, the most common interpersonal communication is gathering together.For example: class reunion, birthday party, New Year party, etc.So in various gatherings, how to use your eloquence, conduct interpersonal communication, and achieve the goal of harmonious communication?

There are skills in persuading people to drink

At banquets, we often meet such masters of persuasion. They are very skillful in speaking, and often a few words make people happily drink their wine glasses.But there are also many people who go to persuade people to drink but find that it is not so easy at all.Indeed, persuading people to drink is also an art.Excellent persuasion skills are not only conducive to creating a happy party atmosphere, but also very helpful in promoting interpersonal relationships.So how do you speak up to skillfully persuade a drink at a party?The following points are for reference.

1.persuasion for the purpose of sincere communication
On the wine tables of various parties, clinking glasses with each other means drinking an extra glass. People have reservations because they are worried about getting drunk and losing their temper, and they are unwilling to drink more.Therefore, drinkers should know: Excessive drinking is harmful, and when they drink, they should not persuade others to drink.It is also necessary to know that drinking is also a kind of culture, and banquets should become civilized and polite communication places.Everyone reminiscing about the past, talking about life, exchanging skills and exchanging ideas, this is the purpose of the gathering.Therefore, persuasion for the purpose of sincere communication is most likely to be accepted by people.

2.Praise brings each other closer

On the wine table of various parties, raise your glass and sincerely praise the other party, which makes him feel the friendly and joyful atmosphere, so he naturally relaxes his guard and raises his glass to drink happily.

When you praise the other party's academic or work achievements at the wine table, the other party will feel your sincerity, and happy drinking will also have a good effect on the atmosphere of the party, thus creating a joyful and lively atmosphere of reunion, which brings people closer to each other. distance between people.This kind of joyful gathering makes people raise their glasses to bless each other, and they are no longer alienated from each other.Therefore, the key to persuading people to drink is sincere praise, and sincere praise can move people's hearts.

3.Point out the special significance of the gathering
Some people don't drink or don't drink much, but they are happy to drink two more glasses for special gatherings.Then, when persuading you to drink, you might as well emphasize more—the importance and particularity of this party, and point out its value and significance to the other party. This will not only stimulate the other party's sense of joy, happiness, and honor, but also make him hindered by specific I have to drink another glass happily on occasion.In this way, on the one hand, I feel happy as a persuader, and on the other hand, it makes everyone at the party feel the meaning of happy gathering.

4.Emphasize the meaning of the crowd
For the meaning of the gathering, focus on the reasons for everyone to gather together.For the banquet, everyone agrees that it is a happy gathering to connect and enhance feelings, so the persuasion revolves around the meaning of everyone's gathering, making it impossible for the other party to refuse.

5.moderate language
The persuasion in different languages ​​is to create an atmosphere of joy and joy.Superb persuasion requires not only superb speaking skills, but also good grasp of the degree.If it's all stern words and persuasion, then it's not enough to promote a happy atmosphere.It is necessary to persuade alcohol in a moderate way, and the method of persuading colleagues, superiors, subordinates, friends, and family members must be appropriate, so that it is easier to achieve the purpose of exchanging feelings and promoting communication.Use more respectful words to your superiors, more kind words to your colleagues, more harmonious words to your family members, and more respectful words to your subordinates.

6.Observe words and expressions, understand people's hearts

For those who enjoy drinking very much, persuasion is easy.For those who really want to drink but have no amount, we cannot persuade them to drink more.Observe the words and looks, so that the persuasion is moderate, and everyone is happy.For some people who do have a limited amount of alcohol, such as women and the elderly, it is obviously inappropriate to use eloquence to persuade them to drink.

The skill of speaking at the wine table is an ancient and interesting topic. In the process of communication, modern people have increasingly played the role of wine culture.Indeed, wine can play a role in communicating feelings and promoting friendship in people's communication.How to speak at the wine table has become a skill that needs to be studied.When attending a banquet, it is the best time for you to show yourself and treat others sincerely in socializing and entertaining.Learning to speak at the wine table can make you make more friends and gain more friendships.

The Art of Speaking at Banquets

Your best friend is getting married, what are you going to say at the wedding reception?People often have full-hearted blessings for various wedding banquets. However, once it comes to a wedding banquet where people gather, when they need to open their mouths to say blessings, they hurriedly say "I wish the new couple grow old together", and there is nothing else spoken.

In wedding banquets and festive occasions, it seems to be a difficult problem to express your full blessings in public with appropriate language.Not to mention the fine attire and beautiful clothes of the couple, even the men, women and children attending the wedding banquet are all dressed neatly, solemnly, and enter the wedding banquet with joy on their faces.

Are you going to improvise?Even with Lincoln's eloquence, it is necessary to write a speech outline for speeches on important occasions.So if you are invited to a wedding, it is necessary to prepare your speech.According to different identities, congratulations are also different.

1.as an elder

As an elder, the new couple is not only your junior, but also your relatives, so your speech is a very important procedure in the wedding ceremony.Your blessings will encourage the couple to start a new life.Therefore, praising the couple, affirming their union, raising good expectations, and wishing them a bright future are all necessary outlines in your congratulations.

2.as a leader

As a leader, you should say more words of encouragement and praise on the festive occasion of the wedding of your subordinates.The outline of your speech is: affirmation of the past work achievements of the bride or groom, blessings for their marriage, and encouragement for them to create a better future together.

3.as a friend or colleague
As a friend or colleague of a newcomer, the language of blessing can't be hypocritical polite words.What makes the bride or groom most happy is the blessings from friends, because everyone is young and knows each other well, so your greetings are the deepest experience.

For example: "Today is Annie's big day, and it's also the day when Annie and I 'broke up'. Annie and I have been classmates since we were young. We lived in the same room in junior high school and college. We still live together in a rented house after graduation. Today, she got married, and we I deeply feel the happiness of her being with the groom. I still remember that Anne, the groom and I went on a trip together. I witnessed Anne’s joy and happiness with my own eyes. I wish them happiness forever!” Concise and powerful Happy blessings will leave lasting memories for people.

4.general relationship

It may be your influence or you have helped the bride or groom in the past, and you were invited to the wedding reception.And at such a wedding banquet, the groom or the bride invites you to speak.So you stand in front of the wedding crowd.are you ready?
Maybe you have a normal relationship with the two newcomers, but because of your social status or influence, you have helped them with the help of your relatives and friends. Out of gratitude to you or because of your popularity, they will politely invite you Say something.

On such an occasion, it is difficult to turn down the kindness, and your blessings will inevitably be difficult to conclude for a while.Because your relationship with the new couple is mediocre, and it is inconvenient to say some encouraging and kind words as a relative, an elder, or a leader.When you say that you wish the couple grow old together, it seems that you are repeating what others have said, which doesn't make much sense.So you can say it from another angle, starting from today being a good day, the wish speech can not only express your attention and sincere wishes, but also show your knowledge and talents.

To sum up, good wishes at a wedding banquet need to be drawn up according to the occasion of the wedding banquet and the identity of the speaker.The art of speaking at a wedding banquet not only expands your network of contacts, but also warms people's hearts and inspires them to live a better life.

Deepen feelings with good wine and kind words
To deepen communication through gatherings, a deeper level is to deepen emotional communication through good wine and good words.Drinking is the form, and the content is the language communication in the drinking atmosphere.When pushing a cup to change a cup, you really need to use your eloquence to get the approval of more friends.

In the joyous drinking, people's communication will naturally become closer and closer as the glasses clink, and the exchange of words will also increase.As the saying goes, a thousand cups of wine are rare for a bosom friend, so the more you drink, the more intimate you are, and the more you talk, the happier you are. However, how to speak properly on this occasion requires you to grasp the following points.

1.No whispers, everyone participates

At a banquet, don't just whisper to one guest, especially taboo two people whispering.This will affect the atmosphere of the banquet, and make other guests feel curious "I want to know what you two said", or jealous "It's just you two".

Try to find topics that the general public can participate in.People have different interests, hobbies, and knowledge, so if the topic is too biased, everyone will be ignored, and only a few people who know it will listen with gusto.

2.Humorous and decent language

At the wine table, everyone drank happily, got acquainted with each other inevitably, and made some harmless jokes. At this time, people's taste, accomplishment and communicative demeanor were displayed.A humorous and decent joke will leave a deep impression on others and gain their favor.

Conversely, humor is inappropriate, and jokes that go too far can create embarrassing situations.This requires you to grasp the degree: you can't make jokes about the defects of others, you can make fun of yourself moderately, and you can also make jokes about the image of public figures.

3．适度劝酒
Drinking and chatting together, having a good chat will inevitably lead to the feeling that a thousand glasses of wine are too small for a bosom friend, so I drink more and persuade others to drink more. This can certainly enhance the relationship, but you should pay attention to persuasion in moderation.For those who really can't drink because of a small amount of alcohol, they should not be excessively persuaded to drink and force others to drink more.Because excessive persuasion to drink not only fails to enhance friendship, but sometimes hurts friendship.

4.Pay attention to etiquette

China has a long tradition of wine culture.To follow the etiquette is to toast at the wine table in the order of age, position, and identity of the host and guest.If you drink with unfamiliar people, you should first understand the situation clearly, or observe how others toast first, so as to avoid all kinds of actions that are not suitable for etiquette.

If there is a leader who has helped you during the banquet, you should naturally toast him respectfully. However, you must pay attention to that if there are people with higher status or older than him during the banquet, you should toast to him first. Tall or older, and then toast in order.Avoid embarrassing situations where you don't follow the order.

5.Low-key drinking, moderate language
On the wine table, if you drink a lot, it is very "show off".Be careful to do this, even if you drink heavily you will invite dissatisfaction.Distinguish the occasion at the banquet, properly assess your own strength, and then prioritize and toast in order.

Try to keep some alcohol, and always pay attention to the proportion of your own language. Appropriate and moderate language can win you a good impression, but clinking glasses with people in moderation requires your alcohol capacity.It's not okay to say no to drinking when you should be gulping it down, or to drink too much when you shouldn't be.

Pay attention to the method and main points of greetings
In daily interpersonal communication, although all of us cannot do without greetings, does everyone use them naturally and appropriately?Greetings are the basis of everyday interpersonal communication.What kind of greetings can make others feel cordial, and can quickly win the favor of others?

This not only requires you to pay attention to the method when greeting, but also requires you to pay attention to the content.We often see greetings from acquaintances such as "Good morning!" "Have you eaten?"In fact, we can use the appropriate way and content of greetings.

First of all, pay attention to body language, greet with a smiley face, and use appropriate body language. For example, when a friend meets again, it is a handshake or a hug. Eye contact is made with the other party, and the upper body should be straightened when saluting.Greetings with graceful and natural gestures can earn you points for likability.

Secondly, according to different greeting objects and occasions, the greeting methods adopted are also different.For very familiar relatives and friends, you should openly greet the current situation: academic, work, physical and other conditions.This will not only deepen mutual understanding, but also deepen mutual friendship.

Once again, it is imperative to be proactive and greet people.Because you greet each other actively, positively, and heartily, and it is best to attach a kind smile.This will immediately win people's favor and get a gift or response very quickly.You should be proactive, positive, and hearty to greet everyone no matter you are with them.

Greetings should pay attention to grasp several points.

1.words of praise

When we meet an acquaintance whom we haven’t seen for a long time, when we spontaneously praise his or her strengths, we can immediately gain a good impression, but be careful: the compliment needs to be a sincere compliment from the heart.

2.Smile and nod instead of greeting

If we meet leaders, colleagues, classmates, or friends we know in a hurry on the road, it is enough to nod with a smile.Because both parties are in a hurry, it is inappropriate to stop and exchange pleasantries.Call him or her, simply smile, nod, and wave.

3.Words of concern
If you happen to meet acquaintances in shopping malls, ice skating, swimming and other entertainment venues during holidays, you should ask with a concerned attitude, how are you doing recently?According to his (her) demeanor, attire, and emotional state at the time, be careful not to ask questions that should not be involved.

4.smart words

When we need to greet someone important to us, such as: the second "chance meeting" after the first date of the opposite sex, meeting the person we are discussing business with at a banquet.This kind of one-sided knowledge and unfamiliarity makes our greetings not too enthusiastic, but it is also not appropriate to be too reserved to deepen the strangeness.

When exchanging pleasantries, we can first talk about topics we know well, such as celebrities, social atmosphere, etc., and then gradually turn to the main topic.This kind of ingenious speech needs to find the common interests of both parties, and then go deep into the process. It needs to grasp the degree well, and then turn to the topic ingeniously.

Small talk is an important part of everyday human relations.The language of daily interpersonal communication, such as pleasantries, seems simple, but it is really not easy to say it properly and give full play to its role.For everyone who enters social life, it is still necessary to use the appropriate way of greeting according to different situations, express the language of greeting clearly, and achieve the goal of harmonious interpersonal communication.

don't interrupt others

In a party, people meet each other, and after exchanging pleasantries, they start talking.This kind of conversation among people, of course, everyone has the right to express their opinions.And in a conversation with a large number of guests, people tend to propose topics suitable for everyone to participate in the conversation.

Therefore, some people are expressing their opinions, and most people are the audience.The opinions expressed will be approved or refuted by the audience. At this time, be careful not to interrupt others. Even if you have very good opinions, you cannot interrupt others' speech.Because interrupting others' speech is not only impolite, but also causes unnecessary misunderstanding.

In a meeting, some people trust their own understanding and judgment too much, and they can't wait for others to finish speaking, so they rush to express their views and opinions.This impatient attitude can easily lead to misunderstandings, which can cause trouble in communication.Doing so is not only easy to make mistakes out of context, but also often leaves the impression of being impolite to others.

Of course, interrupting in a party is sometimes unavoidable, but you must pay attention to the measure of interjection, listen carefully first, and do not interrupt indiscriminately, otherwise it will affect the atmosphere of the party and cause unnecessary trouble to yourself and others.

Learn to listen, pay attention to listening to others, and be sure to start and finish.Many people are impatient to listen to what others have to say, and are eager to intervene, or express their own opinions because they feel that other people's opinions are wrong.Someone blurted out: "I don't agree with your point of view, I think..." or rushed to intervene when the speaker paused: "What you mean is actually..."

Casual interjection may interrupt the speaker's train of thought or cause misunderstanding.A well-mannered person never interrupts a conversation.Because interrupting others' speech is not only impolite, but also destroys the interest of the conversation.

In a gathering of friends, we may encounter a friend we are familiar with who is having a lively chat with someone we don’t know. Although we immediately want to join their conversation, we cannot interrupt their conversation.Because we don’t know what the topic they are talking about at this time, if we rashly join their conversation, it may spoil their conversation, maybe make them feel that we are rude, and they may end it quickly because of our insertion. conversation.

If we meet a good friend who we know is having a lively conversation with others, and we happen to have something to say to him, then we'd better not interrupt their conversation, but wait for them to finish talking before talking to friends , if there is really something urgent, we just need to give a little hint to our acquaintance, and he will naturally find an opportunity to talk to us.

One more thing to consider is that when others are talking and we pass by and want to join in, we should not walk past quietly, as if eavesdropping, but we should find an opportunity to politely say: "Excuse me a little bit, can I join in?" ?” You can also nod your head with your friends, say hello generously, and naturally intervene in the conversation.

In short, in all kinds of gatherings, remember not to interrupt other people's conversations at will, causing an awkward atmosphere and unnecessary troubles.

How to speak at banquets and gatherings

We often have to participate in various banquets and parties, so how to chat with people at banquets and how to chat with people at parties is not only an opportunity to practice eloquence, but also an opportunity for us to enter social life and connect with various parties. It's an opportunity to meet people you can't contact in your daily work and life.

For example, speeches at annual festival parties and birthday parties.Of course, there are various topics, and because of different times and places, different topics often appear.A good topic can make us speak freely, and feel that we have gained a variety of different viewpoints and perspectives.

So how to speak more properly in the banquet?
First of all, you should know some things that you should try not to say at the banquet.

1.Don't say persuasive words

At all kinds of banquets, try to avoid urging others to drink more regardless of their drinking capacity and physical condition.If someone deliberately persuades others to drink in a difficult way, it is not only a gaffe, but also destroys the cheerful and harmonious atmosphere at the banquet.Good eloquence should be used in speech and communication. Alcohol is a tool for fun, and the purpose is for friendship exchanges, not for drinking.

2.Avoid flattery and untrue words
At the joyous banquet, everyone was drinking and chatting happily, so they began to talk endlessly.I can't help putting high hats on each other. For example, knowing that the other party is an ordinary teacher, even a teacher who is recognized as a teacher who has failed in teaching, is also praised as "full of peaches and plums, and is well-known"; Okay, operating in debt, but complimented him as "young and promising, well-managed"; the other party is an amateur, just likes watching Peking opera, has never performed on stage, and touts him as "a famous opera singer with many opera fans", etc., This kind of flattery and high hat is not a conversation to exchange feelings and enhance friendship, but a bunch of rubbish language that is not beneficial to the listener and oneself.This kind of rubbish language needs to be avoided as much as possible.

3.Don't speak abusive words

I usually have a lot of opinions on someone, and I have no way to vent them. At this time, I used wine to cover my face and swearing at each other.Doing so is totally undesirable.

4.don't brag

At the feast of a happy gathering, with the help of wine, I couldn't help my vanity, and in front of many relatives and friends, I boasted, belittled others, and exaggerated myself.Kua said: "What are his achievements? I don't like them. If I want to, I will work harder, and the results will be ten times higher than his..." "What is his professional title? If I wanted to, I would have taken the senior title long ago, and we have a lot of senior titles in our organization, so I didn’t see a few capable ones.” Such words not only lowered my personality, but also hurt my colleagues, and made the audience at the banquet, My heart shakes my head at you.

5.don't say unprincipled words
At the banquet, I talked on the spur of the moment, forgot the principle, and talked about some things that should not be talked about, such as the secrets of the agency, the company's internal secrets, or the differences of opinions among the leaders.Or drink happily, make a wish at will, promise a certain position, but forget it afterwards, or simply can't do it at all. These words are unprincipled words, and it is taboo to say unprincipled words at a banquet.

6.don't swear

Some people don't drink much at the banquet, but they use foul language and swear words through drunkenness, which not only disturbs the joyful atmosphere of the banquet, but also greatly degrades their own image.

7.avoid complaining
After drinking at the banquet, I vent my grievances to others, accusing others of being wrong, social injustice, etc., full of complaints, and using alcohol to drown my sorrows.Such complaints make others have nothing to answer, and they will eventually break up.It's not good for you or good for others, so avoid complaining at the banquet.

Secondly, we must understand how to speak at the party for the best effect.

Starting from the fact that the purpose of the party is to celebrate or enhance friendship, the people who have the party are colleagues or friends, and the party is a relaxing and entertaining occasion, so our speech should do the following.

8.speak cheerfully
Speeches at the party should be as relaxed and cheerful as possible, not only with a relaxed and cheerful demeanor, but also with some interesting and interesting words in language.Avoid formal and rigid language.

9.speak naturally and sincerely
At a gala gathering, the speech should not be pretentious, or deliberately imitate a certain star, or grandstanding, etc., but should speak naturally and sincerely, reflecting your elegant and generous attitude.

10.Speak clearly, clearly and concisely

Speeches at the party should not be too long and protracted, causing the audience to be bored.However, for the sake of brevity, the central meaning should not be expressed.Therefore, it is required to be clear, clear, and concise.

In short, speeches at various banquets and gatherings are usually carried out in a harmonious and pleasant atmosphere, so they are generally good blessings, praise for achievements, achievements, wish for future success, express hope and Faith, looking forward to a better future, and so on.

(End of this chapter)