speaking psychology

Chapter 8 Essential Workplace Eloquence

Workplace is a very important part of our life.If you want to win the workplace, you must handle all kinds of interpersonal relationships.In the course of work, communication is essential, so our usual speaking skills are very important.

learn to speak to colleagues

Due to different experiences and different temperaments, the relationship between colleagues is often very complicated.In order to have a harmonious and harmonious atmosphere in the unit, tolerance among people is very necessary.The so-called step back, tolerance is indeed an indispensable virtue in interpersonal communication.

Usually, too much talk is bound to be lost, so you must have a good sense of proportion when talking with colleagues. When talking about some topics involving personal issues, you should also be well-balanced, so as not to hurt people or bring you some unnecessary troubles.

1.Business

When it comes to matters involving business, it is best to be business-like.As the saying goes, brothers and sisters settle accounts clearly, and only when public and private are clearly distinguished can we not delay business affairs and make the friendship between colleagues last longer.No matter how close you are to colleagues, you can’t mix your personal friendship with work affairs. If you don’t handle it well, it may not only delay your work, but also affect your relationship, and make yourself and your friends fall into a very embarrassing situation. situation.

Wang Li, the public relations manager of a certain company, is very close to Zhang Hua, a colleague in the unit. Zhang Hua is the director of another department of the company.One day, Zhang Hua came to Wang Li for a project.

Zhang Hua said to Wang Li: "Wang Li, I don't know if you are free recently. Our department has planned a plan, and there are some materials that need to be cooperated with a certain company. But I don't know anyone in this company well. You are the public relations manager. You have a lot of contacts, can you please introduce an acquaintance?"

In fact, Wang Li and the company's public relations manager are only ordinary friends, and she is not fully sure about this matter.She wanted to refuse directly, but she was afraid that Zhang Hua would be unhappy.But she really can't do this.

So, she said to Zhang Hua: "Actually, I don't know many people in this company. Moreover, the public relations manager I know is currently on a business trip. I'm afraid I won't have time to introduce it to you recently."

In fact, the public relations manager Wang Li knew didn't go on a business trip. She just felt that she really couldn't help Zhang Hua in this matter.If you intervene in this matter, it is a violation of the company's regulations on employee functions.In addition, she is really not sure about this matter, if it cannot be done, the friendship between herself and Zhang Hua will also be affected.

2.We are friends, but we must also clarify the relationship between colleagues

At work, due to some interest disputes, the friendship between friends is often not as pure as before.Facing various challenges, you must have a correct attitude and restrain your emotions.For example, sometimes there is an uneven division of labor at work. You have the same rank, but have different workloads.No matter how anxious you are at this time, you must restrain yourself. Don't lose your temper with your partner because of the uneven division of labor. First of all, it shows that you have no spirit of hardship. Harmony cannot proceed smoothly.

3.misfortune comes from mouth

Colleagues are often together, so it is inevitable that there will be gossip.These gossips are very common in our lives, and they are often very damaging.People often say that people's words are terrible, and this is the truth.The speaker has no intention, but the listener has the heart.Sometimes, if you are not careful, you may offend others because of a certain sentence; sometimes, you may also become the target of others' slander.These behind-the-scenes chats are like noises, which are annoying to people, and sometimes they affect people's work and life.Therefore, you must have a sense of proportion when speaking, and only when you speak just right can you win people's hearts.

4.Misunderstandings caused by different language habits

China is a country with a vast territory and many ethnic groups.Every place and every nation has its own different dialect customs.However, members of larger companies must have colleagues from different places, and the language habits of each region are different, so you must pay special attention to speaking. Sometimes the language that suits you is not suitable for your colleagues, and it may even make others think It's harsh, it's an insult.

Xiao Xia is from a certain area in the northwest, while his colleague Xiao Qin is from Beijing.During a small talk, the two were talking vigorously, because Xiao Xia wanted to remind Xiao Qin to cut her hair, so she said to Xiao Qin: "You should trim the hair on your head."

Unexpectedly, after hearing this, Xiao Qin thought Xiao Xia was insulting him, so he flew into a rage, and finally the two broke up unhappy.

In fact, the word "Mao" in Northwest China just means hair, while "Mao" in Beijing is a kind of curse word. Then he flew into a rage.

Therefore, in the process of interacting with people, even if you are very close, you must pay attention to each other's taboo words.Otherwise, it is easy to hurt the feelings among colleagues.In fact, as long as you show that you have good qualities among colleagues, and pay attention to using a modest and elegant tone of speech, communication is actually an easy thing.

Avoid the language minefield in the office
Talking out is actually a way to relieve stress in modern life.And because the time between colleagues will be very long, therefore, work partners will often become your confidant.It is also very common for colleagues to talk and chat together.In life and work, we will all encounter some annoying things, and it is natural to complain. Maybe a heart-to-heart exchange between friends will form an irreversible friend.However, according to the principle of distance in interpersonal communication, even in the face of good colleagues, not everything can be said.

He Xin is the manager of a certain company.He has a bad temper.Sometimes get angry with employees.His secretary Liang Yue suffered a lot of grievances for this.Once, Manager He lost his temper with Liang Yue because of some work matters, and Liang Yue was reprimanded again, which made Liang Yue very sad.After get off work, Liang Yue's colleague Xixi said that she would treat her to a meal. Xixi seemed to comfort Liang Yue with concern and said, "Manager He loses his temper too much. I can't stand him talking about you like that..." Liang Yue's The mood had just calmed down, and now he started crying again: "Manager He swears at people without knowing the matter, don't watch He Xin act prestige in front of us, the other day I went shopping and saw him very intimate with a young woman, it must be in I have a little lover outside, and I know how to lose my temper with us subordinates all day long, so I don't have the courage of a boss."

When Xixi heard this, she just smiled lightly and didn't say anything.Less than a week later, Liang Yue was suddenly demoted and transferred to the storage and transportation department, and Manager He's new secretary became Xixi.

In this incident, the innocent Liang Yue became Xixi's stepping stone. In life, the most unfathomable thing is often the human heart.Therefore, you must reserve some points when you confide in others, especially colleagues who are related to your own interests, and you must speak properly.

Therefore, what can and cannot be said between colleagues has become a problem that we need to pay attention to.In order not to hurt others or yourself, you must be discriminatory. Here are a few counter-examples. Try to avoid these topics when chatting with colleagues.

1.personal privacy

No matter how good the relationship is, don't use your private affairs as a talking point in the office just because of the momentary pleasure.These may damage your image, and may also become a handle for others to use you.Therefore, personal affairs should not be placed in the content of office chat.

In addition, it is not advisable to inquire about other people's private affairs or discuss the right and wrong in the company. These actions may be disgusted by others.Therefore, the ancients emphasized that it is wise to gossip without talking about others’ right and wrong. Focus on improving yourself and don’t be too keen on talking about other people’s private affairs.

2.family property issues

Don't involve your family or possessions too much, even in casual chitchat.The discussion of these sensitive issues is not good for oneself.Too much discussion of one's own happiness is often suspected of showing off, and always showing one's misfortune makes everyone unhappy.The publicity of family property attracts people's eyes and ears, and it buryes hidden dangers for oneself.Therefore, if you are happy, be grateful.If you are unfortunate, reflect on the reasons and try to get over the difficulties as soon as possible.Don't talk about everything.Say what should be said, say less or not say what should not be said.

2.How much pay

Generally speaking, the companies in our country at this stage work more and get more and get less work.Therefore, the salary of each employee varies greatly.Therefore, the company generally adopts a single-line communication method for salary payment.Colleagues do not know how much each other is paid.In fact, it is not a pleasant thing to ask colleagues about salary.If someone asks you how much you earn, you can laugh or change the subject.Because even if you say it, your colleagues will not appreciate you for it, but will cause you some trouble.

3.ambitious words

Ambition is made, not spoken.If you have ambitions, then do it down-to-earth. If your boss knows that you want to replace him, you will be regarded as a competitor by him. If your colleagues hear that you want to get more money than him, you will Being excluded and attacked by colleagues.Therefore, empty talk is extremely bad for you.So, tenacity and low-key are the qualities you need to be successful, and bombast will only make you more enemies.And it creates an exaggerated impression.

Therefore, in the conversation in the office, you must pay attention to the content involved in the conversation. When you say it, you should say it. Don’t say more than you can’t say, otherwise it will bring some unnecessary troubles and troubles to your work and life.Only appropriate topics and reasonable expressions can achieve normal speech effects.

avoid meaningless arguments
The world is rich and colorful.It is precisely because of the differences between things that constitute the variety of social life.The same is true between people, differences will generally exist, whether it is ideas, or views on someone or something, different people may have different places, therefore, in social communication, we should Follow the principle of same but different.If you use your own principles to demand others, it will cause conflicts.If everything is true, it will cause many unnecessary disputes.

In life, some people always like to quarrel with others.We usually say that they love corners.In order to fight for justice, they always argue with others for a long time.In order to be different from others, no matter what other people express, he always acts as an opponent and finds an opposing opinion.In fact, in their hearts, there may not be a real doctrine, but they just want to be different.

Of course, in the face of major issues of right and wrong, it is indeed necessary to have a good debate, because life requires a correct understanding.But this debate must be based on the facts. If hostility is involved, then it will fall into the trap of irrationality.Everyone is not arguing for reason, but arguing for the sake of arguing.In order to persuade the other party, normal communication will also turn into verbal swords, so that good communication will be destroyed.

"There is only one way in the world to get the greatest benefit from arguments, and that is to avoid arguments." Carnegie's words are meaningful.Therefore, sometimes quarrels are actually pointless.When talking with people, it is wise to consider other people's opinions humbly and lower yourself a little.In fact, in this way, your income is often more than that of arguing.In this way, not only will your interpersonal relationship enter a virtuous cycle, but people will also think that you are easy to get along with.

In fact, the reason why communication is important is that people are looking for a common norm, a way that everyone can accept.Arguing meaninglessly is useless, not only does not help, but also makes the relationship worse.Therefore, in communication, we must respect the feelings of the other party. Don't be competitive. As long as you argue with the other party, whether you win or lose, you are a loser.Therefore, in the debate on some important issues, even if you are absolutely reasonable, you should leave a step or leeway for the other party, and don't force the other party into a corner.The so-called forgiving and forgiving, so that the other party will be grateful to you, if you are not forgiving, it will intensify the incident and develop in another direction.Moreover, your differences will become an inducement for a conflict, which will be detrimental to future work and life.

Liu Ming opened a cafe, but the operation was not smooth when he first opened it, because some difficult customers often made him tired of dealing with it.

One afternoon, Liu Ming met another such customer.The customer put both milk and lemon into the black tea, and the two drinks would clump together when they met.The customer blamed Liu Ming for this, saying that they sold bad milk to the customer.

Knowing that this was the reason, Liu Ming didn't argue with the customer because of it.Instead, he immediately apologized to the customer and changed the customer to a new cup of black tea.When the new black tea was delivered, Liu Ming tactfully explained to the customer: "I'm really sorry, maybe our waiter didn't treat you well, and I didn't have time to tell you that lemon and milk in black tea will react and form Lumpy, it’s not actually a problem with the milk.”

Later, the employees asked Liu Ming, why did Liu Ming say sorry because the customer was obviously wrong and had an arrogant attitude?Liu Ming said with a smile, in fact, many things do not make sense.Sometimes taking a step back wins more.

In fact, people can coexist peacefully with each other.And most of the time, the relationship is not tense. As long as the two sides can look at the problem with a peaceful attitude, there will not be so many disputes.If you insist on fighting with your tongue, no matter whether you win or lose, you will only be the loser in the end.Therefore, if you take a step back, the sea and the sky will be brighter, and you will be perfect for others, and you will be perfect for yourself.

In fact, in this world, it’s not just about reasoning. What people need more is tolerance and understanding, and some meaningless arguments can only make people fall into trouble. Of course, this does not make you lose your mind, and it is also It is not advocating that you nod your head in agreement no matter what the situation is, but it emphasizes that when expressing personal opinions, you should fully consider the feelings of others and respect others, instead of instilling your own views to others in an overly forceful way.Only by communicating in a peaceful manner can significant results be achieved.

speak in a decent way

In social life, communication is always indispensable.In the communication process, the proper way of speaking is very important.How to make the other party willing to accept is the primary consideration in interpersonal communication.The appropriateness of the conversation often depends on the identity of the person being talked to, the time and place of the conversation, and many other factors.If you speak only for yourself without considering the feelings of others, communication will not go smoothly.

Although Ms. Jin has been working for many years and has met various people and things, she should be regarded as a "professional expert" according to her qualifications, but because she can't keep things in her heart, it is always easy Offend.When she speaks, she doesn't think much about the thoughts of the people around her, she just says what she has.

In fact, Miss Jin herself was not at fault.But the way he speaks is too straightforward.For example, some male colleagues smoke in the office, and Ms. Jin will step forward to stop them; another example is that some people make endless phone calls, and she tells them not to affect others during working hours... She always feels that doing so is kind, Because what she proposed are also some basic office principles.

However, Ms. Jin's blunt words did not attract the favor of her colleagues.Everyone felt that she had too much control, because the rules were not so rigid.However, Ms. Jin couldn't figure it out. She felt that she was telling the truth and thought that this should not be the result in the end.

In fact, situations like Ms. Jin's are very common in the work unit.Be careful when dealing with colleagues.If the relationship between colleagues is not handled properly, it is indeed an uncomfortable thing to meet every day.

In this case, Miss King did not appear to be at fault.However, in Chinese society, people pay attention to the outside and the inside.It is reasonable to tell the truth, but no matter how reasonable it is, it must be conveyed in a way that people can accept.It is indeed a virtue to be open-minded, but in the process of people's communication, we must also consider the acceptance of others.

Too blunt words often give people a feeling of constriction, which is not conducive to the development of the incident. In the end, it not only goes against one's original intention, but even annoys others and causes some troubles for oneself.

Therefore, while dissuading others from some inappropriate behaviors, you should also consider whether your own way of speaking is appropriate. If you only want to speak up, but don't pay attention to the effect, this will not help to solve the problem at all.If the tension between you and your colleagues is caused by inappropriate speaking, it is necessary to conduct self-reflection and gradually overcome the problem of speaking too directly.To be frank, this is undoubtedly correct, but it must be timely and appropriate, and pay attention to the inner square and outer circle.

People have self-esteem, so in interpersonal communication, understanding and tolerance between people are very important.It is human nature to save face and like to listen well, so when we are talking, we should try our best to say something that praises others and conveys positive energy, instead of just caring about ourselves. Just a few words hurt the other party, and even cause the other party to misunderstand and resent.Therefore, you must pay attention to the occasion and method when talking. For example, in leisure time, when everyone feels more relaxed, you can express your thoughts more tactfully, so that it is easier to be accepted and understood by the other party.A more clever way is to resolve conflicts in a humorous way, which is not only conducive to the resolution of conflicts, but also makes people feel more relaxed.

bow your head in front of credit
In a company, there will be all kinds of people. Often the company is the projection of the society, plus it is in a community of interests, so no matter how good the relationship between colleagues is, for the sake of profit, he may stand on the opposite side of you .Therefore, even close colleagues should grasp a certain scale and proportion when getting along.It is a very important principle not to be arrogant, not to take credit, and not to show your sharpness.

It is not wise to show off your power because of a little achievement.First of all, although you are talented and have made great achievements to win the appreciation of your boss, it also increases your chances of being excluded by your colleagues and beaten by your boss.And if you take credit and be proud at this time, you will incur the jealousy and hatred of others.Since ancient times, there have been countless examples of Asuka's perfect bow. The reason why many people with outstanding achievements did not end well is because they did not know the result of restraint.But there are also many people who can retire successfully because they have always maintained a modest and prudent attitude, so they can start well and finish well.Therefore, no matter how great the credit is, you must have a clear understanding, and you cannot think that all the credit is yours alone.

It can be said that all achievements cannot be accomplished by one person. If you only engage in personal heroism and ignore the feelings of others, then you will definitely not get the support of others, and you will be farther and farther away from success.As the old saying goes, what is right is helpful, but what is wrong is not. This is what it says.So taking all the credit for yourself is both unpopular and unrealistic.

Therefore, in order to gain long-term peace, cooperation and support in the workplace, one must have a humble attitude and a low-key personality.Only in this way can a good interpersonal relationship be obtained.And if a person wants to succeed, the right time, place and people are indispensable.When people talk about some achievements they have made, they will attribute the credit to everyone, and think that the achievement is the result of everyone's joint efforts.Because only in this way will everyone think that being a working partner with you is promising, and you will naturally get more support, so that you can be praised by others, and you will have more opportunities to succeed.

Li Zong is the boss of a technology company.In the initial stage of the company's operation, there was a lack of funds and assistants. Thanks to the help of Li Zong's former colleague Ding Ming, it was able to grow and develop.Ding Ming pledged his house as a mortgage so that the company had start-up capital.Li Zong is very grateful for Ding Ming's support, and often talks about Ding Ming's contribution to the company.

With the joint efforts of Li Zong and Ding Ming, the two cooperated very tacitly in the operation of the company. The development of the company was also very smooth, and the profits were increasing day by day.However, with the increase in banknotes, Li Zong's mind also became hot, hoping to further expand the company's scale.But expanding the scale is not an easy task. Due to improper operation, the company lost nearly half of its assets in just a few months.

Such performance made investors very dissatisfied. In order to explain the loss and give investors confidence, Li Zong blamed Ding Ming for the failure.And claimed that Ding Ming's misunderstanding of the company's strategic intentions led to this mistake.The board of directors listened to Li Zong's one-sided words, and marginalized Ding Ming, allowing Li Zong to directly manage the company.This incident made Ding Ming feel wronged, and he was very dissatisfied with Li Zong.

Subsequently, although the relationship between the two did not appear to be deadlocked, there have been subtle changes.The cooperation between the two is not as tacit as before.Although Li Zong has tried his best to eliminate the company's hidden dangers, it still doesn't work.As the company declined day by day, the relationship between Ding Ming and Li Zong also took a turn for the worse.In a meeting, the two quarreled because of some differences of opinion, and the cooperation between Ding Ming and Li Zong broke down completely.

In fact, in this case, the reason why the company failed was because of the competition between Li Zong and Ding Ming.For Li Zong, the founder of the company, doubting his own authority is the biggest threat, and the existence of Ding Ming is already a threat to him, and the subsequent quarrel between him and Ding Ming directly led to their cooperation The end of , and the friendship between them also came to an end.So sometimes being a person and doing things are linked together. If you make a wrong step, you may lose everything.

Therefore, in the work relationship, you must not strive for credit. The achievements must be attributed to everyone, and you must be brave when facing work responsibilities.If you take all the credit for yourself and refuse to take responsibility, you will never achieve anything. In some cooperative relationships, you must follow the principle of sharing blessings and sharing difficulties.No matter how much you have achieved and how much you have paid, you must always think about others and treat your own contributions with a normal heart.

Make your boss happy to accept your rejection
"Gold has no color, but white jade has slight flaws." Mistakes and shortcomings are common to everyone.Even the immediate boss is included in this list.There are also mistakes in the decisions of the boss.However, due to the relationship between superiors and subordinates, sometimes it is inconvenient for employees to offend their superiors, so no matter what the superiors say, they dare not raise objections. Sometimes the superiors' instructions are obviously wrong, and they will not bring them up.For a period of time, such employees may be liked by their bosses, but in the long run, because such an attitude of employees is not conducive to the development of the company, they cannot be further promoted in the end.

Therefore, even as a subordinate, when there are problems with the opinions of the boss, you should speak up bravely, instead of allowing mistakes to develop and letting them go.This is very detrimental to others and ourselves.However, how to reject the boss without offending him is not an easy task.If you speak too bluntly and harshly, you will become a thorn in the side of your boss, which will be very detrimental to your career.Therefore, rejecting others while trying not to offend others is actually an art of speaking, which contains many skills. The final effect is to make the boss aware of his mistakes and prevent the boss from blaming you for it.

1.Say "no" when it's time to say "no"

It can be said that being rejected is not always a happy thing, and the boss is no exception.In life, when bosses hear their subordinates say "no", it is common for bosses to pull their faces down on the spot. At this time, the smile on the boss's face often disappears.In fact, even if you are not a boss, you will be unhappy when you hear objections, and it is natural to feel disgusted.But as an employee, in most cases, your proposal to the boss is often for work matters, not for personal interests. Therefore, when it is time to express your thoughts, you must speak out boldly.Don't be submissive because of your fear of your boss. As long as you think your opinion is reasonable, you should express it in the most appropriate way.Make it acceptable to the boss without embarrassing him.Only when you are straight can you be strong, as long as you have enough confidence, your words can infect others, and only in this way can your boss pay attention to your opinions.

2.Rejection must be clear and the attitude must be firm

If the boss's opinion is indeed wrong, then you must say "no" to the boss firmly and clearly, and you must have very reasonable reasons to support your point of view.Your point of view must be clear and firm.rather than over and over again.This way your boss will feel that you are trustworthy.

Of course, if the question you are questioning is more complicated, don’t rush to reject it. Instead, you should leave some room for yourself, such as temporarily putting the question on hold and making a decision later.In this way, on the one hand, it will leave a step for each other, and on the other hand, it can let the boss understand that you are cautious about this issue, and he will also feel that you are stable and reliable.

3.Rejection requires the support of a correct perspective
Since you say "no" to your boss, you must have a good reason.You have to let him understand that the reason why you refuse is not to fight against him, but to help the company. You are out of public interest, not for your own benefit.

4.Refusal should also be done with respect
If the boss insists on his own plan, and this plan is obviously unreasonable, he must not confront the boss.Because your boss holds the final decision-making power.While raising objections, you have to emphasize that you are doing this entirely out of public interest, and you are not trying to be serious with your boss.If the boss's order will obviously damage the interests of the company, you can obey the order first, and then try to minimize its harm within your own authority.

Whether you are speaking with your boss or with other colleagues, you must show respect before rejecting your boss. For example, you can praise your boss’s professional level before denying it, etc., so as to save him enough face. As the saying goes, reach out Don't hit people with smiley faces, so that the boss won't refuse at the beginning, at least he can listen to you.Then, you can express your opinion.

Therefore, saying no is also an art.It is necessary to let the boss fully understand what I mean, but also not to offend the boss. There are still quite high requirements for speaking.However, as long as you can give your boss enough respect and pay attention to a certain way of speaking in the process of expressing opinions, you can still speak successfully.

Don't joke around with your boss
Humor is indeed an indispensable means of communication in social life.Humorous words can not only relieve the tense atmosphere, but also make everyone happy.Among some close friends, joking can really liven up the atmosphere.Sometimes even good results are received.But jokes often happen between friends or peers. If it’s with your boss, it’s better to keep your jokes to a minimum, especially at work. Joking with your boss will give people a sense of insincerity, which will cause your boss of boredom.

Manager Song is usually an easy-going person.Whether it is family or friends, there is a harmonious relationship.Everyone is used to it.One day, due to attending a very important meeting, some relevant information had to be sorted out.Manager Song's subordinate, Xiao Xiao, quickly finished the work.The meeting was about to be held, and Manager Song nervously asked Xiao Xiao about the arrangement of the materials.But because Xiao Xiao is used to joking with Manager Song, he purposely smiled and asked Manager Song, "Maybe it's not wrong?" Manager Song was very disgusted with Xiao Xiao's playful attitude.As soon as Xiao Xiao finished speaking, Manager Song threw the heavy material to the ground and reprimanded Xiao Xiao.Xiao Xiao felt that Manager Song's state was very different from usual, and she felt very wronged, but it was just a joke, there was really no need to be like this.

In fact, the phenomenon of exaggerated jokes is very common in our daily life. The joker feels that he just said a joke, which provokes the other party to fight, and finally falls into a very embarrassing situation.In fact, joking also depends on the occasion, and you can't just talk nonsense regardless of the other person's feelings.Some things that the other party attaches great importance to are not allowed to be joked about by others.In the above example, Manager Song attached great importance to this meeting.Relevant information plays a vital role in this meeting, so he requires the employees to be meticulous, but Xiao Xiao treats this meeting in a joking manner, which is no wonder that Manager Song will be furious.In fact, whether it is work or a meeting, it is a very serious matter.In formal occasions, jokes should be kept to a minimum, because jokes will make people think that your work attitude is not serious.

All in all, joking is okay, but you must choose a suitable occasion. If you don’t distinguish between time, place and conversation partner, joking will not only fail to make people happy, but will lead to a very embarrassing situation.

In case the joke is inappropriate and the joke goes too far, you must not remain silent, but explain something, otherwise it will cause misunderstanding. The other party can explain clearly, or praise the other party in time, which can resolve the conflict.

Liang Fei is a company employee. One day, Liang Fei went on a business trip with his boss. During the trip, Liang Fei chatted with the boss to pass the time.After they talked about several work-related issues, they couldn't find a topic, and the atmosphere fell silent.So Liang Fei started joking with his boss in order to find a topic.Because he is used to joking, he often speaks without much thought, so the first thing he said to the boss was: "Boss, you are wearing really smart clothes, just like the groom." The boss felt that Liang Fei had gone too far, so he After smiling and not speaking, Liang Fei realized that he had said the wrong thing. Generally speaking, jokes should not be casually shared with the boss, so he immediately typed a haha ​​and skipped the topic.

In order to break the embarrassing atmosphere, Liang Fei turned to praise his boss's leather shoes, and asked the boss where he bought these shoes.Originally, I was just looking for something to change the topic, but it aroused the interest of the boss. The boss who was quite interested in the outfit suddenly became active: "I bought these shoes in Hong Kong. They look pretty good!" Then, the boss I started to talk about the differences between clothing brands, and talked about my own dressing experience, and it was even more eloquent. The conversation between the two was very pleasant.

After this conversation, the boss also had a deeper understanding of Liang Fei.From then on, Liang Fei's work progressed even more smoothly.

In fact, it is not suitable to joke in the workplace, because work is a serious matter.Moreover, there are a lot of interests among colleagues, and sometimes it is just a joke, which will also cause colleagues to be paranoid, and may plant a grudge for the future.

Joking usually happens between close friends. If the occasion of joking is appropriate, it can indeed promote the relationship and communication between friends.But the relationship with the boss is very different, because it is a superior and a subordinate, after all, it is different from a friend. Even if the relationship is very good, you should pay attention to what you say in the workplace, and you can't be unscrupulous.It is often said that misfortune comes from the mouth, so be sure to distinguish the occasion when making a joke.

Tortuous suggestions work better

In work and life, many times, we all need advice from others, and we also need to give advice to others.When making suggestions, you must use an appropriate method, so that it will be easier to be accepted by the leader, and your suggestions or opinions will appear more pertinent. Otherwise, it will cause boredom to others, and not only will not be adopted, but you will even be hit. It is unacceptable and has a bad influence.

For example, there is a story about the death of Yang Xiu in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms":

Yang Xiu is arrogant by nature, he thinks he has outstanding talent, and he is proud of his talent.Although he is a subordinate of Cao Cao, he is not respectful to Cao Cao, his superior, and often shows off his cleverness.He was also unscrupulous in speaking, often uttered wild words, and did not follow Cao Cao's ideas in doing things, but made his own opinions.

In fact, in the workplace, there are indeed some subordinates whose professional quality is very high, even surpassing their superiors.However, overly outstanding talents often lead to the fear of the boss.It is not uncommon for those to suffer repression for threatening their superiors.Therefore, when making suggestions to your boss, you must not be too direct, but pay attention to a certain method.The Chinese are still very experienced in this area and have left behind many classic cases. For example, during the Spring and Autumn and Warring States Periods, there was Zou Ji satirizing the King of Qi for accepting advice, Chu Long talking about the Queen Mother Zhao, and so on, all of which made their opinions successful. adopted by superiors.So, as a subordinate, when you disagree with the leader, how can you make the boss accept your suggestion without having a bad impression of you?

It should be noted that when making suggestions, the "tactful" way of speaking is very important. Of course, there are also some people who strongly advise, and these people often cause headaches for the boss.The reason is that the way they propose is wrong.

If you directly deny the boss's opinion as soon as you come up, you must first make the boss unhappy emotionally.Then even if your subsequent opinions are very reasonable, it will make the boss unhappy, which will lead to resistance, and your opinions will not be conveyed smoothly.

Therefore, when raising opinions, you must not express them too bluntly. Instead, you should make indirect comments and start with praise. Moderate, and then put forward the opposite opinion, so that even if the negotiation fails, both parties will not be embarrassed.And if your opinion is correct, it will be easier to be accepted.Because once your conversation touches the content of the boss’s opinion, it has already attracted the attention of the boss, for example: “The manager is an expert in product quality, which we have no doubt about. But we would like to add one more point…” Put forward your point of view later , There must be sufficient evidence to support your point of view, point out the rationality of your opinion through explanations, and make your boss feel that your point of view is more practical.

In the case of fully respecting the other party, your opinion is quite reasonable, so your suggestion will of course be accepted by the boss more easily.

However, no matter in the workplace or in life, never rely on your talents, especially in front of your boss, don't show off your cleverness. Even if your opinions are reasonable, you should convey them in a modest tone of advice.For example, in the discussion on a plan at the employee representative meeting, if it always begins with "I think it should be...", it is not easy to accept, and if it is said, "After many considerations, this plan is overall good, but there are some problems." For places that are not ideal, we can discuss together..."In this way, on the one hand, your opinion will appear more reliable, and on the other hand, it will also make everyone feel that you are very cautious.

No matter how open-minded or approachable your boss is, you have to be cautious when giving suggestions. As the old saying goes, be careful when sailing for ten thousand years, and a humble attitude is welcome everywhere.

Report work to the point

In our work, we all inevitably have to report our work situation to our superiors. In the process of reporting work, we must pay attention to the methods and methods, otherwise it will cause dissatisfaction from the superiors and even question your working ability.

Bai Jiang is an employee of a building materials company in a certain city, and his main task is to contact customers.Once, after returning from a negotiation with a client, I came to the manager's office and prepared to report my contact information to the manager.The manager asked Bai Jiang eagerly: "How is the situation?"

In fact, the situation of Baijiang's inspection this time is very bad, and their business has already been signed away by others.Therefore, facing the manager's question, Bai Jiang did not answer directly, but showed a preoccupied look, implying that the manager's situation this time was very difficult.Seeing Bai Jiang's worried look, the manager had already guessed eight or nine points about the unfavorable situation, so he immediately asked, "Is there something wrong, and is there any way to solve it?"

This left room for Bai Jiang, and Bai Jiang answered the manager very simply: "Yes!"

Then, Bai Jiang reported his specific work situation to the manager, pointing out that the loss of business was due to the company being too far away from the market.

Bai Jiang then said: "The price of our company's products is fair, and the quality is guaranteed. It is already quite well-known, and new and old customers still trust us."

"So, how could our business be taken away by a township enterprise?" the manager asked Bai Jiangdao.

"It's mainly because of the distance problem. The township enterprises have a geographical advantage. They are relatively close to them, and there is also a door-to-door service. We are too far away from the market. Of course, this is not impossible. Open franchise stores and find agents, so that business will also expand. Many construction companies have been using our company's building materials for many years, and have a good basis for cooperation, which is our advantage."

Bai Jiang's suggestion was appreciated by the manager, and he successfully saved a round for himself.Later, Bai Jiang was promoted and served as the deputy manager of the sales department. After some hard work, the company's marketing volume has been greatly improved, and Bai Jiang was also promoted to become the company's deputy general manager.

In the unit, when reporting work to the leader, you must pay attention to your attitude and method.First, have a humble image and style when reporting your achievements.The tone of speech should appear neither humble nor overbearing, and try to maintain a gentle tone.Secondly, before reporting, it is best to prepare the draft of the report, but it should not be too wordy, it must be comprehensive and focus.Subordinates who are long-winded and have mediocre performance will not be appreciated by the leader.Finally, timing is also important when reporting to leadership.If the leader is busy, don't bother him, because when you are busy, you may not listen because you are impatient, and think that you will not choose the time and have no winks.Therefore, when reporting work, you must choose a time when the leader is relatively free and in a good mood.

Subordinates also pay attention to methods

1.expose people without revealing shortcomings
As the saying goes, don't hit someone in the face, and don't expose someone's shortcomings, which means that in interpersonal communication, it is best not to talk about the shortcomings of others, because it will cause serious harm to others.Under normal circumstances, people will not deliberately touch other people's wounds.

But it's hard to say when emotions are out of control.Especially some leaders, because they enjoy some privileges and know other people's past better, so when they are angry, they will inevitably speak rudely and expose some other people's shortcomings.In fact, such a move is very sad and inappropriate.

Recalling old things can sometimes only arouse the other party's resentment, because everyone may make mistakes. The subordinates may think that after remediation, their mistakes have been corrected at that time, and the leader no longer cares about it. brooding.However, if the leader brings up the old incident again at this time, the employees will be very angry inside, and feel that the other party is lying to them, thinking that the leader has misunderstood, just pretending to forget, and feel that the leader is an untrustworthy person.As a result, the cooperative relationship between leaders and employees will be destroyed, and they may even become strangers from now on.

2.Criticism must be targeted

When a leader is criticizing employees, be sure to say less negative words: such as "you are the worst in the entire department" and so on.These words with strong negative emotions will only embarrass the employees and make the other party feel confrontational, making people feel that this kind of evaluation is unfair, and then doubt the leadership's motivation for criticism.Not only is this not beneficial to the work, but it may even cause discord between the superior and the superior, laying hidden dangers for future cooperation.

In order not to cause misunderstandings, you must be considerate when criticizing employees.For example, when we want to remind employees not to pay too much attention to details, but to take a long-term view and take into account the overall situation, we should say something like this:
"As an employee, we have always been at ease in handling affairs. Your seriousness and thoughtfulness are obvious to all. But on this basis, if you can take the overall situation into consideration and look at things as a whole, your work will be further improved. .”

So, what kind of criticism can achieve good results without attracting resentment?
3.Be aware of the negative effects of criticism
Generally speaking, try not to criticize an employee in front of a third party. This will not only hurt the employee's dignity, but also make other employees feel a sense of crisis.This method of criticism can easily lead to resistance from employees.If you want to remind employees in public places, you should use clever hints instead of being too straightforward and embarrassing employees.Otherwise he will not sincerely correct his mistakes.

At work, we should try our best to avoid blaming subordinates in public. If some leaders can’t hold back their anger and are easily impulsive, and scold their subordinates in public, they should make up for it.Give employees comfort in a timely manner, and minimize the negative effects of scolding employees in an affirmative or humorous way.

Although a certain manager is very serious about his work, he has a very bad temper.One day, a subordinate made a small mistake at work, and a certain manager's temper came up again.The rage made him not think too much, and immediately reprimanded the department manager.Afterwards, after reflection, I felt that I was too impulsive. After calming down, I immediately found other employees to understand the situation of this employee.Other employees have reported that the subordinate who was scolded is still very good at work, and this mistake is purely a mistake.After all, his work performance is still outstanding.

Therefore, the manager immediately remedied his behavior of scolding the employee today.He immediately sent someone to call the employee and said to him: "I'm really sorry today. I blamed me for being too irritable. I didn't understand the specific situation before blaming you. I heard that my colleagues still spoke highly of you." Yes. However, you have to pay more attention to the problems in this work. I believe that through hard work, your level can still be improved."

A few simple words comforted the subordinate's heart, and the affirmation of his colleagues also gave the subordinate a great sense of trust. In this way, the subordinate would no longer take his experiences during the day to heart.

Although it is not the best policy to give comfort while hurting others' self-esteem, it is also a way.Although hurting others is irreparable, apologizing is also an attitude.I believe that an apology can still make up for the relationship.

(End of this chapter)