Fall in love with school, no longer tire of learning

Chapter 15 Student Self-Guidance (2)
(3) Only by negating the old self and perfecting the new self can one realize and develop oneself.The so-called self-realization is the realization of one's own value.It is not something that can be accomplished by thinking behind closed doors and self-cultivation, but in practice, through the pursuit of true knowledge, renewal of consciousness, training of talents, and in the process of continuously improving one's own quality.Because only in practice can people understand the relationship between nature, society and life, so as to find their own suitable position in society, and in this position, realize their own strength and value, and strive to realize their own shaping.Only in practice can people fully expose their own shortcomings and deficiencies, and enhance their awareness of the necessity and self-consciousness of self-improvement.In practice, people will inevitably run into walls, endure painful tortures, and realize that the road to success is not straight.At this time, only then, do you realize that "struggle and hardship", "success and failure", "pain and happiness" are 3 pairs of twins.It is difficult to step into the state of success and happiness without hard struggle, failure, and pain.The road to success is both smooth and rough.The smooth road was pioneered by predecessors and is limited.The extension of the smooth road depends on future generations to continue to develop. Everyone who wants to make progress should pay hard work for this.Therefore, to overcome ego, it is necessary to understand the burden on this generation.Without a sense of self-responsibility, we will lose the spiritual support and strength to perfect ourselves and surpass ourselves.Only by consciously forging ahead can we constantly transform the subjective world while transforming the objective world, and through the transformation of the subjective world, we can constantly improve, develop, surpass and overcome ourselves.

Be an emotional master
In the journey of life, there are very few smooth sailing and straight roads, and there will always be setbacks, failures, and ups and downs.A very small number of special "favorites" may rise to the top by relying on a certain ladder of power, but whether they can gain a firm foothold ultimately depends on their talents and contributions to the people.If it is just a "Gao Yanei" who relies on power to eat, then once the power they rely on collapses, they will fall from the sky sooner or later.Are there few such hasty travelers in history?

There was once a popular saying among teenagers: "It is better to have a good father than to learn mathematics, physics and chemistry well." It is very stupid to often pin your personal future on a powerful father.And some powerful people often take advantage of their own real power and try their best to influence their children and grandchildren. This is not only stupid, but also a violation of party discipline and state laws, which harms both children and the people.You know, there has been a warning in China since ancient times that "a gentleman will be killed in five generations", let alone today in the 21st century?It is better for children not to rely on elders, and elders to strictly demand their children.

After all, I still hope that the young friends will grow up and be promising.An upright and strong person never harbors illusions or fears setbacks in his study, life and career, but realizes his wishes and ideals through his own efforts and enterprising spirit.Generally speaking, teenagers are highly motivated and want to achieve success in their studies and work.However, why do some people have great ambitions and enthusiasm at the beginning, but after a period of time, they gradually lose their enthusiasm and give up their pursuit?This is because if we want to forge ahead and develop ourselves, we will inevitably encounter setbacks of one kind or another.That is to say, you will encounter failure and hit a wall.At this time, some people tend to feel a sense of loss, shrouded in a gloomy gray mood, gradually become discouraged, and even fall into a broken pot.Psychology refers to the emotional state shown when this individual engages in certain purposeful activities and is blocked, hit, disturbed or failed, which is called frustration psychology.For example, repeated defeats in battle, lack of success in studies, failures in competitions, unsatisfactory work, unharmonious interpersonal relationships, failing grades in high school and college entrance examinations, etc. These unsatisfactory things will accumulate and lead to frustration. , loss of confidence, depression.If you can't adjust in time and try to tide over the difficulties, you will gradually wear down your enterprising spirit.It can be seen how important it is to learn to control your emotions and be the master of your emotions.

Psychology believes that the reason why setbacks are prone to negative emotions is because setbacks often make people lose their psychological balance, destroy people's confidence in the realization of goals, and weaken the significance of goals in meeting the needs of the subject.At this time, people will have a psychological state of tension, anxiety and anxiety, which will arouse emotional waves.If a person with a weak personality cannot calm down this emotional interference in time, it will easily lead to personal surrender to fate and doubts in self-ability, thus losing the courage and enthusiasm to make progress, and falling into a vicious circle of depression.

So, how do you learn to be the master of your emotions?
(1) Face up to the reality and be a strong person in life.Only by facing reality squarely can we deal with setbacks rationally.Frustration is nothing more than bumping into a wall and failure as a result of behavior, which is unavoidable in the endeavor of life, so there is no need to be upset and frustrated.Only unborn fetuses and dead people have no setbacks in the world. A person who wants to make a difference in his studies and career will always encounter failures and setbacks of one kind or another.It can be said that setbacks are always accompanied by setbacks on the road to success. The question is how to deal with setbacks.The weak often crawl at the feet of setbacks and failures, while the strong often learn lessons from setbacks and failures and reflect on themselves, so as to constantly improve themselves, create conditions or modify goals, find another way, and finally, they will always find a way out and the key to success .Numerous successful facts in ancient and modern China and abroad prove that setbacks and failures are the prelude to success. Whoever can withstand the test of setbacks and failures will be able to reach the other side of success.The world-renowned Red Army of Chinese Workers and Peasants defeated the enemy's siege and interception during the 19-mile Long March, crossed thousands of mountains and rivers, climbed snow-capped mountains, and crossed grasslands. The great victory of the war showed the indomitable and unyielding spirit of the Chinese nation. At the beginning of the [-]th century, the Hungarian mathematician Janosz experienced various setbacks and blows when he founded the non-Euclidean geometry: his father thought he was whimsical, the teacher lost the manuscript he wrote with painstaking efforts, and the great mathematician Gauss at that time also rejected his research. Holding a completely negative attitude can be said to be helpless.And his personal situation was even worse. He was plagued by malaria, cholera and other diseases successively, which made him very weak.He endured the torment of the disease with tenacious perseverance and continued to study hard.Unexpectedly, the car accident hit him mercilessly again, causing him to be physically disabled and bedridden.Just when he needed someone to take care of him, he was kicked out of the house by his ruthless father.Teen friends, please think about it, almost all the bad luck is pressing on him at the same time.However, under such a bad situation and such a heavy blow, the young Janos still did not give up the goal he pursued, and did not succumb to bad luck.Hard work paid off, and Janos finally overcame all setbacks and successfully created the theory of non-Euclidean geometry.

Goal pursuit + confidence + perseverance = overcoming setbacks.That's the formula for beating setbacks.We must learn to bear the psychological pressure brought by setbacks, turn pressure into motivation, and be the master of emotions, so that we can always maintain strong energy and move towards success with confidence.

(2) To establish the spirit of revolutionary optimism and maintain a good mood.Psychological research shows that emotions have bipolarity: ①Optimistic, happy, enthusiastic, and confident emotions will make people have a positive mood.This state of mind can act as a booster, making people energetic, active in thinking, concentrated in attention, deep in memory, and full of confidence and hope for the future. ②Emotions of distress, depression, sadness, and boredom often make people have a negative mood.This state of mind can act as a debilitating effect, making people depressed, dull in thinking, inattentive, weakened in memory, lack of energy, and lose confidence and hope for the future.Therefore, it is very important to maintain a good mood and overcome negative mood.

Young friends, we must set up lofty ideals and cultivate a spirit of revolutionary optimism, "Youth will not worry about aspirations".When encountering problems, you must be open-minded, and the goals you set must be in line with your own reality. As long as you are down-to-earth, step by step, and move forward in a down-to-earth manner, you will always gain something.Don't be so ambitious and eager for success.As the saying goes, "one mouthful does not make you fat", "haste makes waste".If you are impatient and seek quickness, because the subjective and objective conditions are immature, you will not be able to achieve your goal.It is very easy to cause unnecessary troubles due to disappointment.At the same time, don't take the temporary gains and losses too seriously.For example, don't be depressed because of small setbacks in your studies or work, let alone get depressed and complain about others because you failed an exam or failed in an exam.As the saying goes, "the prime minister can punt a boat in his stomach".We must learn the spirit of revolutionary pioneers: "It's nothing to fall, our bones are hard, get up and move forward!" Setbacks and failures are just episodes in the struggle of life, and they will never affect the main theme of life.Remember, the goals you pursue are often hidden behind setbacks and failures. "Failure is the mother of success." It is necessary to withstand the painful training of frustration and failure.There is no joy without pain, and only those who have experienced pain can appreciate the sweetness of joy and happiness.Success and failure, success and setbacks, pain and happiness, distress and joy are always intertwined.There is joy in bitterness, sweetness in bitterness, gain in loss, and victory in defeat. This is the dialectic in life.

In short, to be the master of emotions, one must cultivate one's moral character and develop a strong character.Don't be arrogant in victory, not discouraged in defeat.A man can stretch and bend, and when you bend, that is, when you are in adversity, you must be patient; when you stretch, that is, when you are in good times, you must calmly seize the opportunity and make a difference.There is flexion in stretching, and seeking stretching through flexion can turn pressure into motivation and negative into positive. In this way, why not worry about not making progress in studies and failing in career!

emotional control methods

For the control of bad emotions, four methods are often used.

1. Catharsis

When you are aroused by a strong negative emotion, you might as well let the energy of that emotion come out.For example, if you are mourning the death of a loved one, instead of holding back your grief, you might as well cry aloud at home; after crying, your grief will be relieved a lot.Of course, venting is not just about crying. You can write a long letter to your friends to tell your grief, and it will also get results.

2. Distraction

People are plagued by negative emotions, and it is difficult to get rid of them in the short term.It's not appropriate to "vent" all the time, so you can use distraction to divert your attention and energy to other objects or activities.The more attractive the target you choose to divert from, the better.The grief caused by the death of a loved one does not easily disappear within a few days.When sadness strikes, you might as well sort out your favorite stamps, or go out to visit your classmates who have always been similar.Distraction works well in most situations.

3. Rational digestion method

People are rational after all.Some people think that when people are in pain, they cannot extricate themselves, so where is there room for rational activities?Actually not.Except in the moment of coma, human sanity never completely disappears.Then when you are in a bad mood, you should be good at mobilizing this temporarily weak rational power and try your best to make it active.One of the functions of reason is "self-reminder".This does not require extensive thinking, just concise words.For example, when people are in deep pain, they often have an illusion, as if the pain is boundless and unsurpassable; if you remind yourself of the saying "there is no flaming mountain that cannot be passed", you can resist the illusion and increase your self-confidence Heart.Secondly, we must think about the consequences: if bad emotions go on for so long, what damage will it bring to work, family, and health?When you think about the seriousness of the consequences of bad emotions, you become clearer and calmer.Again, when you are calmer, you need to further analyze the causes of negative emotions.In addition to emotions such as sadness, the cause of many emotions is worth looking for the root cause.If you are wronged, you can analyze it subjectively and objectively, and propose solutions accordingly.

4. Use emotions to control emotions

Some complex feelings, such as morality, are usually stronger.To control the experience of bad moral sense, the above methods are often ineffective, so the method of controlling emotion can be used, that is, to suppress bad feelings with another stronger feeling.For example, jealousy belongs to the category of moral sense and is a vulgar emotion.Once formed, it is relatively stubborn and often forms part of an individual's personality traits.It is not easy to overcome jealousy. Some people know that their jealousy is not honorable, but they still feel uncomfortable when they see other people's achievements, and they always try to belittle others with excuses.To overcome jealousy, we must gradually develop a humble attitude towards ourselves while understanding its harmfulness, and enhance our sense of community, comradery, and social responsibility. (Because it is obviously not in the social interest not to want others to surpass you.) To be able to feel ashamed of one's own jealousy, when the intensity of this shame exceeds that of jealousy, is sufficient to overcome it.

Changing Moods: The Daydream Experience
Scientists have found that occasional "daydreaming" is good for your physical and mental health, according to a report in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.The so-called daydream, in the eyes of psychologists, refers to the psychological activities with fantasy that appear in the waking state, such as during the exhaustion of work and study, fantasizing that you have won a big prize, or you are dreaming of a certain dream that you have longed for for a long time. To travel, to indulge emotions.

A study by Dartmouth College in the United States showed that when study subjects daydreamed, their brains appeared to be "resting", but they were actually quite active.Weiss, a psychiatrist at the Pine River Psychotherapy Association in Atlanta, also said that guiding correct daydreams is beneficial to physical and mental health, so he sometimes uses this method to induce patients with mental illness to get out of the immediate predicament.

Daydream

From a psychological point of view, what positive effects does daydreaming have on mental health?

(1) Stimulate potential and improve boredom.The themes of fantasy are mostly matters of personal concern, and because they are not restricted by traditional thinking forms, unexpected solutions often burst out.American psychologist Peter said: "Imagination is the key to dealing with problems. When people are puzzled, 'daydreams' can provide you with answers." In the process of classic art creation, we often see In the shadow of fantasy, the writer Balzac often had dialogues with the characters in his novels; the composer Brahms also said more than once that only when he was meditating, music thoughts would continuously jump out of his mind.

(2) Broaden your horizons and relax your tired mind.In real life, most of our speech and behavior are well-behaved, and psychology calls this phenomenon "persona".And fantasy can often transcend reality, accompanied by the necessary euphoria, to make people's minds wider.When people are immersed in it, the real world becomes far away, and we can't help but enter a dreamlike state of intoxication.

(3) Change yourself and re-understand yourself.Fantasy can make us look at ourselves from a wider perspective.At the level of conscious consciousness, the way we think about problems is abstract and generalized, and we are selective in observing things.In fantasy, however, our inner perception is much more detailed and comprehensive.In addition, usually because of the influence of self-esteem and face, people often deceive themselves, but in fantasy they will face reality.Therefore, fantasy can provide an opportunity to look at one's psychology and personality in an all-round way.You can find a more suitable behavior method for yourself according to the hints of fantasy.

But fantasy is not reality after all. If we spend a lot of time in fantasy and use it as a means of escaping reality, it is obviously a manifestation of psychological barriers.Therefore, we should also face the reality and use fantasy as an auxiliary means to play its positive role.

(End of this chapter)