Fall in love with school, no longer tire of learning

Chapter 29 Family Education Guidance (4)
Story 4:

Xiaowu is the son of a friend I met in recent years. When I met his mother, he was studying at a university in Jinzhou. I didn’t know much about the child’s situation before, but at that time his mother was worried that his son was obsessed with Internet cafes. There was even one time , Called his son all day but couldn't get through, finally begged a friend to drive, rushed to school from Dalian in the middle of the night, and found the child from an Internet cafe.

At that time, she told me that her child's grades in high school were very mediocre, and her son didn't like culture classes at all, but because she had never been to college in her life, she had to let her son go to college no matter what.

His mother thought that it would be fine when her son went to college and became sensible, but who knew that he still didn't like studying when he went to college, and finally became addicted to the Internet.He was supposed to graduate two years ago, but he didn't get his graduation certificate until recently because he missed classes. During these two years, he kept going back and forth to school to make up exams.

Xiao Wu is a tall and straight kid with a good-looking appearance. He never causes trouble, and often helps his friends cook and clean up the housework at home.In addition to poor academic performance, Xiao Wu is a very good child in other aspects. It is just that he is 25 years old, has just received a college diploma, and has no work experience, so he has to stay at home.

Now my friends will sigh when they think of these things: I really shouldn’t have forced my children to go to college. In fact, if I let my children use these years to learn a skill, they might be able to support themselves and not have to rely on their parents for support. There is really no medicine for regret in the world.I can only tell my friends that there is no unparalleled road, and I believe that every child can find their own way to survive.

Change the concept of "study hard"

Many students accept the education that "the mountain of books has a road and diligence is the path, and the sea of ​​learning is boundless and hard work". Therefore, learning is often equated with pain.Under such circumstances, it is difficult for students to build up enthusiasm for learning.

If parents guide students with the concept of "the book has its own beauty, and the book has its own golden house", it will leave the impression that "learning" is equal to "happiness", and help students find and discover happiness from learning, and dig out The subjective initiative of students in learning is more conducive to the improvement of grades.

Cultivate children's will to learn
If you want your children to succeed in their careers in the future, perseverance is an important guarantee for success.When their children are studying, parents should help their children determine a specific goal that is both difficult and within their capabilities.Parents should provide the necessary and appropriate reward conditions to encourage and urge their children to work hard for the actual goal.Don't be discouraged by failure, and not proud of success.It is necessary to cultivate children from an early age to have a tenacious spirit of never giving up until they reach their goals.

Some emerging treatments this year also have good effects on school weariness and test anxiety.

How to deal with the media and the Internet

As children grow older, they move from infancy to early childhood, and will eventually move from the small environment of the family to the larger environment of society, and gradually come into contact with people and things outside the family.

The true, the good, the beautiful, the fake, the ugly and the evil in the society indiscriminately enter the field of vision of children. It is not feasible for adults to adopt isolation methods, because the media such as TV in the family will also constantly reflect the reality of today’s society from different angles. , there is also the opposite.

It is difficult for children (especially young children) to have the ability to distinguish right from wrong rationally at the beginning, but they have a keener feeling ability than adults.They are highly sensitive to the kind or terrible things that happen around them, and this sensitivity is a good foundation for cultivating rational discrimination ability. Parents should use this characteristic to help children develop a sense of emotion on the basis of this feeling ability. The discrimination ability and psychological endurance of social life can filter social information and optimize children's young minds.

If parents can focus on the characteristics of children who are not very receptive when they are young in daily life, grasp specific daily chores, help children recognize right and wrong in society, and let them feel the bright side of truth, goodness and beauty in concrete terms, it will also Realizing the despicableness of ugliness can help children enhance their sense of justice in promoting goodness and eliminating evil, so as to resist the erosion of ugliness and darkness in children's hearts.

For example, today's TV videos have entered almost every family of urban residents, and children deal with them almost every day. It can be said that they know the world's affairs without leaving their homes.From which you can receive all kinds of information from all over the world.Here are all kinds of content about the political situation, scientific and technological progress, and ordinary people's affairs, from which you can learn a lot of knowledge, understand major events at home and abroad, and small things at home and abroad.But it is also inevitable that some murderous, violent, absurd and indecent scenes will catch the eyes of children.Parents should provide timely guidance on these issues, improve children's ability to identify, and at the same time check their behavior at any time, establish a positive image for children, optimize children's minds, and prevent children from making mistakes that lead to violations of laws and disciplines.

If the family does a good job in this area, it will help stabilize the small family and the environment.The family is the cell of society. Only with healthy cells can there be a healthy body; diseased cells will lead to disease. This is the point of view of "regulating the family, governing the country, and bringing peace to the world" that "cultivate the body and then the family will be well-organized, the family will be well-organized and then the country will be governed, and the country will be governed and then the world will be peaceful."For this reason, parents who do a good job of optimizing children's minds will contribute to the stability of the society and the country.

In short, as a parent, you must fully understand the importance of family education and consciously be your child's first teacher.

Emotional Application: The Provocative Method
Stanislavsky When the Russian dramatist Stanislavsky was rehearsing a play, the heroine could not participate in the performance for some reason. Out of helplessness, he had to let his eldest sister take the role.But his eldest sister has never played the leading role, and she lacks confidence, so she performed poorly during the rehearsal, which made Stanislavski very dissatisfied. He said angrily: "This play is the key to the whole play. If the girl The leading role is still acting so poorly, the whole play can’t be moved any further!” At this moment, the audience was silent, and the humiliated elder sister didn’t speak for a long time, then she suddenly raised her head and said firmly: “Rehearsal!” Shy and reserved, he acts very confidently and authentically.Stanislavski said happily: "From today onwards, we have a new great artist."

Deferson in the United States was an unknown bank clerk until he was 45 years old.People around him think that he is a mediocre person with no creative ability, even he himself looks down on himself.However, on his 45th birthday, he was stimulated by the stories in the newspaper while reading the newspaper, so he made up his mind to become a big entrepreneur.From then on, he was completely different from others. With unprecedented self-confidence and tenacious perseverance, he got rid of the idea of ​​doing nothing, devoted himself to the study of enterprise management, and finally became a well-known big entrepreneur.

It is obvious that if Stanislavski's anger had not stimulated his eldest sister, the acting potential accumulated in the eldest sister would not have been able to burst out.Similarly, if it were not for the stimulation of the stories published in the newspapers, Deifson would not have become a great entrepreneur.Here, stimuli play an unusual role.People often blame the society for burying talents. In fact, self-burying is quite common because of lack of confidence and courage, low self-esteem, laziness, complacency, and lack of progress.If we can give ourselves a little more stimulation, a little more confidence, courage, energy, courage and perseverance, it is possible to bring out the dormant potential in ourselves and create success that surprises even ourselves.

Emotional Applications: Reverse Psychology
The penalty kick is the most exciting moment in a football game. Many players warn themselves not to fire anti-aircraft guns, but they shoot high instead.Stars such as Maradona believe that before taking a penalty kick, first determine a certain angle to shoot, and then shoot without hesitation. This method is generally very effective.

A parent saw that his son didn't work hard, so he said, "You don't know how to recite this Tang poem." Then he recited it by himself, and the student became competitive and worked hard to recite two poems. Sure enough, he gradually liked learning.

The above examples tell us that human psychology is infinitely mysterious. If you tell someone not to do something and take prohibitive measures, he will try it instead.For example, if you tell your roommates not to open a certain drawer of yours, then someone will want to open it to see what secrets are inside when you are not around.It's an incredible primal instinct.Many men and women in love are not as gluey as some romance novels are written, but if the parents object, it will cause a kind of "rebellious" psychology, which can only have a counterproductive effect.This situation is not uncommon in various sports competitions.A famous player once said: "The game of golf is not played by hands, but by mouth."

In some conversations that affect emotions, the most effective means is to pretend to be very friendly on the surface, and to give some so-called "advice", that is, to find ways to make the other party aware of the prohibitions of the game.For example, on the golf course, deliberately and kindly say to the opponent who is playing: "If the shot ball flies to the right halfway, it will fall into the pond" or "This ball is so close to the hole, don't miss it."After hearing these good words, the ball that was hit was unbelievably either flying to the right, or hitting it crookedly, which is really "good advice".

Experienced coaches never tell this athlete to do this before a game, and warn another athlete not to do that, because doing so will only be counterproductive.

When emphasizing the precautions, the other party is nervous and unable to play at a normal level.

(End of this chapter)