deep in time

Chapter 33 (1)
[one]
"Why are you doing this?" the boy repeated, with a last bit of hope in his eyes.

"what?"

"I mean, why did you post that kind of post on the school forum?" The boy paused word by word, almost using all his strength to say this.

"What post?" Liu Yujing opened her eyes wide, took a step back, and looked at Ji Nan with a puzzled expression, "What are you talking about, Jinan."

The boy's voice was cool, and he said very clearly: "About Baili's post."

All words are pale and lose their power at this moment.

Liu Yujing's expression froze on her face.

At this time, after the girl restrained all her expressions, she had a sinister and sharp expression, and the dimples on her face disappeared, suddenly turning into sharp edges and corners.The knuckles of her holding the mobile phone turned blue and white, her expression was indifferent and arrogant, and there was a mocking coldness on the corner of her lips, she said: "Why do you accuse me? And why should I tell you?"

She has already mastered all the languages ​​that can hurt people.Sure enough, upon hearing such an answer, the boy's expression became even uglier.He once thought that Cheng Lichen and himself had misunderstood her, and wanted to get to know her again without prejudice. It turned out that those kindness and tenderness were just pretending.

Liu Yujing straightened her back, like a proud princess preparing to leave the battlefield.She turned around and saw Baili and Cheng Lichen standing outside the door at some point.

The boy was like a deep black night, with an unconcealable disgust for her in his eyes, which seemed to be there all the time.Liu Yujing was no stranger to this look.When I was in the orphanage, when the old maid in her 50s looked at them, a group of abandoned children, she had this kind of black emotion in her eyes; when she grew up, her classmates at school looked at her yellow and wrinkled body. When I was adopted, it also appeared when I was adopted; in the days when I was adopted and showed off indulgently, my teachers, classmates and even my adoptive mother also looked at me with such eyes...

Those memories that I have long forgotten are actually just wrapped in a dirty cloth, following behind me, appearing from time to time, and becoming more and more unbearable.

"Did you do all those things? You hung Baili's schoolbag on a tree, filled her homework with vicious words, and threw Ah Chen's schoolbag downstairs to frame Baili?" Ji Nan on the hospital bed asked softly in a slow and sad tone.

But he doesn't seem to want the answer, because he already knows the answer.

"What do you think, Ji Nan?" Liu Yujing turned around beautifully and looked at Ji Nan with a proud and fragile smile on her face, "The more childish the trick, the more infuriating it is, when you keep questioning When I was thinking, "Is this kind of trick possible among high school students?", I didn't know that this was the easiest and best way to make people feel spurned, didn't I?"

Baili, who hadn't spoken all the time, looked at Liu Yujing quietly—the girl she was ready to treat as a "friend": "I have no conflict with you, why are you targeting me?"

Liu Yujing didn't answer, she glanced at Baili coldly, with a bit of sternness and unwillingness in her expression, then strode towards the door, bumped into Baili's shoulder, and quickly walked away from Baili. And the gap in the door pierced out.

At this time, Liu Yujing restrained all her expressions, her dimples were too faint to be seen, and her upturned phoenix eyes became more vivid, overlapping with the sharp-edged little girl in the orphanage.Suddenly a flash of inspiration flashed in Baili's mind, she grabbed Liu Yujing's hand, and her voice trembled: "Guoguo, you are Guoguo."

The stiff girl's body softened for a moment, but soon, Liu Yujing sneered and shook her hand forcefully, shaking Baili's hand away from her.

——Baili, why don't you understand that from the moment I cheated you of the happiness of being adopted, it means: we can no longer love each other as before.

[two]
At first, the steps were not big, but slowly, the faster and faster the walking became.There seemed to be irritating sparks in the air due to the rapid friction.

After rushing out of the hospital, there seemed to be a group of evil beasts named Enan, disgust, contempt, and fear chasing after them.

I feel more and more afraid, but I can't tell what I am afraid of.

The sky had completely darkened, and Liu Yujing walked forward in a daze.

A river runs through the center of the city, and the silt along the river is also covered with unknown reeds.Autumn is coming to an end, and the only few grasses with white awn flowers are lonely and silent in the wind.Everywhere was desolate and dilapidated.

I hate you.I hate you so much.Why in the face of a life full of ups and downs and sufferings, you can always accept all the arrangements of fate calmly, no matter it is good or dark.

I really want to tear off your indifferent expression, and see if there is an unbearable disguise like mine underneath.

Why can't I forget my life experience of being abandoned?Every time I wake up from a nightmare, I am always afraid that everything will go back to the original place.

I was cautious and walked on thin ice. I was afraid that one day someone would point at me at school and say, "That's the child my mother didn't want."But you acted as if nothing had happened, and made no secret of your identity as being adopted and sponsored.

You are not as beautiful as me, adopted by that ridiculous and poor family, fate treats you so unfairly, why can you still live peacefully with a smile, while I, who has everything, is always afraid and unsatisfied?There seems to be a beast in my heart, which has been desperately devouring my happiness and joy, turning me into an empty scarecrow.

I was walking in a maze with no exit or entrance, and I kept going around in circles, looking for the only light in vain, stumbled and bruised all over my body; while you were in another world, peaceful and peaceful, happy and indifferent.

How willing.

I know I'm digging into a dead end, and I know I shouldn't be doing this, but reason always only exists for a while before being defeated.I'm like a monster, a monster who can't see other people's happiness.

—Yes, I am a monster myself, and I want others to be monsters like me.

The girl lay on the fallen reed, crying bitterly.Accompanied by the intermittent cries, there was the muffled sound of thunder rolling across the gloomy sky.

The raindrops soon fell on the river, on the reed grass, on the mud, and on the girl who could only see her back.

The sky and the earth soon became a vast expanse of whiteness.

This noisy and huge world seemed to have stopped at this moment, only the sound of torrential rain and drowned cries remained.

[three]
The heavy rain hit the front window of the car, and the vision was blurred. Even if the wipers were adjusted to the maximum frequency of scraping, they could only drive by intuition.

It's raining too much, it's dangerous to drive like this.

Song Lanlan held the steering wheel anxiously, and finally decided to find a place to stop on the side of the road.She picked up her mobile phone and looked at the received calls. At five thirty, a name appeared on the screen of her mobile phone. The name that had been entered for a long time appeared in the received calls for the first time. She couldn't believe it. s eyes.

After answering the phone, the bank was already closed, but she quickly found enough cash and rushed to the hospital.

At [-]:[-], Song Lanlan called Cheng Lichen in the heavy rain. She roughly explained the situation, hesitated for a while, and then said: "Achen, don't worry, as long as the person can get better, it doesn't matter how much money Auntie guarantees to you." question."

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long time before I heard the boy's low voice: "Yes."

Just when she was about to hang up the phone, she suddenly heard the boy say: "Auntie, it's raining heavily, and it's dangerous to drive. Come back when the rain is lighter. You haven't had dinner yet. I'll get you a meal when you come." You can eat it."

"Ah?" Before he could react for a moment, he blurted out the tone particle.

"There are seaweed salad and grilled eel that my aunt likes to eat."

The last sentence is this.But Song Lanlan didn't know how she hung up the phone. She never thought that on such a day, Cheng Lichen would take the initiative to call her, would show a frightened childish expression in front of her, would remember that she hadn't had dinner yet, would Buy her favorite dishes——

She never dared to imagine it like this, and thought it was an extravagant wish.

The heavy rain continued, but the eyes gradually became hot and humid.

"In fact, because of the mishandling of the delivery back then, it is impossible for you to have any more children." She never forgot what the gray-haired doctor said with pity.If you have never had the feeling of holding a baby in your hands, then the disappointment about "infertility" may not have reached the level of despair.The journey of sitting on the bus with my newborn daughter in my arms was not forgotten over time, but became clearer, and even the details of "the eyebrows were wrinkled when I cried" played in my mind over and over again .

Before that, she wanted to put all her guilt and all her love for that daughter abandoned by her young self on Cheng Lichen. She made him a steaming breakfast, and she traveled halfway across the city just to buy a model that Cheng Lichen wanted. She even bought a new model phone immediately after knowing that Cheng Lichen had left it at school, and entrusted a friend who works in China Mobile to immediately reissue the SIM card and give it to him, but she did not dare to expect Hear a "thank you".She watched him secretly with doting and pampering eyes, she was happy because of his happiness, she was depressed because of his troubles, she regarded Cheng Lichen as her own son, she gave love, but never seemed to receive it To sporadic responses.

But now, he called her "Auntie" and said in a shy voice, "Auntie likes to eat cold kelp and grilled eel"... Song Lanlan was covered by a tender feeling, she was immersed in this emotion, and then saw A girl who passed by his car.

The girl didn't hold an umbrella, and her whole body was exposed to the heavy rain, her hair was wetly attached to her head, and her whole body was dripping with water.

The wiper wiped again and again, and the gap was so clear that Song Lanlan could see the girl's face. The girl who was splashed by the rain with her eyes closed was about to cross the road, ignoring the possible danger.Almost subconsciously, Song Lanlan opened the car door, before she even had time to open the umbrella, she rushed to the side of the staggering girl, she didn't care where she was, she just stuffed it into the car.

It was raining heavily outside, and the carriage was a temporary refuge.It was really Liu Yujing, she read it right.The girl who helped find Ah Chen at school left a deep impression on her.

"Yu Jing, why are you out in the rain alone? You should hide from the heavy rain." Song Lanlan took out two spare large towels from the car and handed one to Liu Yujing.But what was strange was that the girl who was sitting numbly neither answered nor picked up the towel, but just sat there in silence, like a lifeless marionette.

"I quarreled with my family", "I lost my relationship"—these are the most troubles in the little girl's world.Song Lanlan smiled, wiped her face with a towel, and then simply put the towel on her body. Even though she had only been out for a while, her body was already mostly wet. The autumn rain was chilly, making her I couldn't help sneezing, and quickly turned the heating to the highest gear.

It is really Dan Fengyan who is very similar to himself.Song Lanlan looked at Liu Yujing with a softness in her eyes that she didn't know. She picked up another big towel and carefully wiped the rain off the girl's face, hair, and neck, but the girl probably walked in the rain for too long Wow, not a single part of his body was dry.

Autumn rain is lukewarm, but it is a sick tiger.The girl's lips are already pale from the cold, this is not acceptable, there are spare clothes in the carriage, it is best to change.Song Lanlan took the clothes, but she didn't expect the girl to be very obedient, except that her eyes were slack, she asked her to reach out, and she reached out, and quickly took off the coat, Song Lanlan sighed in her heart, even the underwear inside was watery when twisted It fell down with a clatter.

The girl with only the beige suspenders left has already begun to develop, and the thin tights soaked in water outline young curves.

Looking at the girl wearing a small bottoming coat, Song Lanlan pressed her eyebrows, and she became dizzy for a moment, her heart beating rapidly.She stretched out her hand tremblingly, and lifted the girl's suspenders from the waist up. Because she was too nervous and lost strength, she couldn't lift the whole dress several times.

(End of this chapter)