A Wave Of Desire

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Ocean

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I had wanted to talk to Ryan while he drove. I had wanted to ask him what he was thinking about and why he looked so worried. But I didn't.

I knew what had caused him to look so worried. I knew what the problem had been. I knew exactly what was going through Ryan's head without asking because I had seen Ben's face too. We had all seen the shock on Ben's face when Brittney called him out in front of everyone.

I was probably just as shocked as he had been. How in the hell did she know that Ben was gay? And better yet, why did she think that Ryan was gay too? That was just strange in my opinion. There was nothing that they had ever done that showed that they were a couple.

Hell, I knew that if they were a couple Ben would be the happiest man in the world. He said that he had been in love with Ryan for a long time. I bet he suffered a long time too. Makes sense though, since they have been best friends for so long. If he had fallen in love when they were in middle school, then he had to suffer all these years that they were just friends when he wanted so much more.

"Ryan?" I finally managed to break the silence just before we pulled into the driveway.

"I..it's been a crazy day, huh? I didn't think that they'd make up so many lies." I saw nothing but denial in Ryan's eyes when he turned to laugh halfheartedly like he had made some sort of bad joke.

"Yeah, who knew? Heheh" I laughed uncomfortably as well. I felt bad for Ryan, finding out about things this way, but I felt worse for Ben who never wanted anyone to find out. "L..let's go inside."

I didn't want to show Ryan that I was nervous, but I think it was too late for that. I didn't want him to think negatively about me and Makai when he found out that we knew about this and didn't tell him.

Both of them were our friends. I have known them for a long time. Who was I supposed to side with here? I mean, if I was going to side with any of them, wouldn't it be Ben?

Ben knew about me and Makai and didn't say anything. Ben was in a similar situation as the two of us, so I could relate to him a little more. But both of them deserved my loyalty and friendship right now.

Without saying a word in response, Ryan shut off his car and got out. The slamming of his door sounded like some kind of final warning or something. It was like he was saying he wasn't going to listen to anything unless it was an assurance that this was all a big misunderstanding.

I didn't want to be left behind. I didn't want him to think that I was afraid either. And for that, I needed to hurry out of the car and into the house. Dammit, he was really walking fast.

Makai and Ben had pulled into the garage and were taking the door that led to the kitchen. Ryan would need me to unlock the door before he could even get inside the house. That was another reason to not take too long and to hurry after him.

"I..I'll get the door. H..hold on a s..s..sec."

I rushed up the couple of steps and to the front door. It was just as large and lavish as always, but right now it felt miniscule and insignificant compared to the weight of the problems that we were all experiencing today. 

"Y..yeah, I just want to get this over with. I..I..I'm pretty sure that everything is just going to blow over soon. I..it's not like they have proof of you two being together and of course, we all know that Ben and I aren't like you." Ryan said those words as I unlocked the door, but I could tell by the reflection in the glass that he had immediately realized what he had said. "N..n..n..not that it's wrong or anything. Th..th..there is nothing wrong with it at all. I..i..it's just that I am n..n..not like that a..a..at all." He was flushed bright red and under normal circumstances I would have laughed at him about it. But right now, there was just way too much going on.

Ryan and I went in through the front door at the exact time that Makai and Ben were leaving the kitchen and going into the living room. We happened to see each other as we passed from hall to room.

The living room was large and spacious with plenty of seating for us and several more people. However, with the tense atmosphere that was following us and filling the space, it was like the space was now really small and made it feel like it was hard to breathe. Was it just me feeling this way or did the others feel like this as well?

Ryan sat in a chair near the door, probably so that he could leave the room and the house if the need arose. Ben was sitting as far from him as he could. Makai and I mutually understood that we shouldn't be too close right now either. For that matter, I sat close to Ben so that if he needed my help then I could offer it easily. Makai sat in the chair next to Ryan's probably so that he could act as a mediator and help keep things calm and moving forward.

As I sat there, looking at my two friends who were, for some reason, looking very uncomfortable right now, I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. They needed to talk through this and work things out. I was sure that if Ryan gave it a chance, he would probably not want to end things with Ben. Whether they just stayed friends or if they ended up dating, they could never be happy together again unless they talked to each other. And that was exactly why Makai had invited them to come to our place.

I had been sitting in my chair for exactly three tenths of a second and I was already sweating bullets.

"I..i..is it h..h..hot in h..here, o..or is th..that just m..me?" I was already on my feet moving to turn the temperature in the house down a little so that it would make things a little more comfortable. "I..I..I'm going to g..grab s..s..some waters." I ran into the kitchen, feeling three pairs of eyes on me as I left. Dammit, they probably thought that I was the biggest fucking wuss in the world. This was going to get me made fun of so much. Shit!

I didn't care though. I needed to relax a little and having something to do helped me out a lot. I grabbed four bottles of water from the fridge and wished that I knew what else to grab just to make things take longer. Food would not be appropriate right now so there was nothing I could think of.

Resigned, I sighed and headed back into the living room. I started to pass out the waters and caught Makai's eyes as I went to sit down. I could tell that he was worried about me because of what had happened earlier today, but he wanted me to keep it together so that we could help our friends out right now.

'Just a little while longer, baby.' That's what I heard in my head when I looked into his eyes. I nodded and smiled at him, conveying my own little part of the private conversation.

'I know babe, I know. I just feel so worried and scared right now.'

The look that Makai gave me after that was meant to convey both strength and love. He was giving me some of his strength and telling me that he loved me. That was all that I could ask for right now. With a smile I told him that I loved him too.

Once everyone had their waters and I was once again seated with everyone else, I felt like there was a blade hanging over us all as we fought to see who was going to break the silence first. Was it going to be Ben? How about Ryan? Was Makai going to speak first to facilitate a friendly conversation? Don't look at me, I was going to keep my fucking mouth shut for right now. I like where my head is, thank you very much.

"T..today was crazy as fuck, huh." Ryan laughed, trying to act like there was nothing at all that was going to go wrong and that we were once again just going to play video games for the rest of the night. "Who would have thought that the first day back from vacation would have gone like this? Makai, you and Ocean sure know how to keep things interesting." He threw his head back and laughed, but it sounded forced. "Haha! Don't tell me this is how you're spicing things up."

"I wish it was that simple." Makai grimaced as he looked at Ryan in response. "That would make things so much easier. "

"Yeah, I figured as much." Ryan looked like he might finally be calming down a little bit. "Look, I know that you two are together and that part of what they were saying is true, but the rest of these lies are the-."

"Not all of them are lies.." Ben stopped him, his face pale and his eyes wide with shock.