A Wave Of Desire

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Ocean

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After I first woke up, my dad had gone to get the doctor. He checked me out and said I was looking good. The plan ended up being that I would stay in the hospital most of this week to satisfy the rest of the hospital staff and to make sure that I was indeed healing properly. However, after that I would go home and finish my recovery there.

I was actually really shocked that I had been hurt as bad as I was. I didn't think that someone like me, a shifter, would be able to get hurt this badly. I was beginning to think if there was something wrong with me. Something in my genetics that made me more human than the others. I mean, I was the only male Siren, I was guessing that had to account for some of my issues. Right?

Still, it was disheartening to know that I was a supernatural being and yet I was unlike all the other supernatural beings that there were in the world. Why was it that I couldn't just be normal in some sort of society? I wasn't human and deep down I never felt like I was truly part of the world around me when I was growing up. And now that I know I am not human, I don't fit in with the shifters and other people like me.

That is probably because there weren't any other people like me. Not exactly anyway. I was not the same as other Sirens. I wasn't the same as Makai. I wasn't the same as my family. I was literally an outsider through and through.

Was that why Justin had targeted me? Was it just because I was gay, or was it because he could tell that I was different than everyone else? What did he see in me that made him want to attack me? What caused all of this?

And while I was on the subject, when exactly did all of this stuff between Justin and me get this bad? Yeah, OK, we've never exactly been friends with each other, but we had been civil toward each other. We had been on the same damn team now for four years, so what had changed? What had caused all of this?

I tried to remember. I tried to think about all of my interactions with Justin over the last few weeks, the past couple of months, hell even over the last few years. It wasn't hard to remember most of them. He and I only really hung out with the rest of the team. There was nothing else that had bonded us.

In the beginning, I guess he and I hadn't actually hated each other. There was a time when he and I were almost friends. When we first joined the swim team together back in freshman year, we kind of got along. But, for some reason, we started to fight a lot toward the end of that year. If I remember correctly, I had actually beaten him out for first quite a bit that season and he hadn't liked it very much.

Still, losing to me and gaining a rival had actually spurred a sort of truce between us. He would tell me all the time that he was going to be me. Yeah, he called me the golden boy and he made fun of me whenever he got the chance, but it was nothing like it was now.

If I had to pinpoint something, I would say that everything started to change around the time that I met Makai. Was it just because he was jealous of me and Makai having a rivalry and a friendship? Although he found out later that we were lovers instead of friends.

Was Justin just jealous that he and I never became friends at all, and then Makai and I became close really quickly? I guess that could be part of it. I doubt that was what it was, all of it anyway.

Ugh, all this damn round and round in my head was starting to give me a headache. I couldn't figure any of this stuff out. Honestly, it was starting to make me feel dizzy right now. 

"Gah!" I grabbed my head and cried out in frustration.

"What's the matter?" Mom hopped out of her chair and ran to my side. Makai was already getting up from his spot next to me as well, worry written all over his face.

"Are you in pain, Ocean? What can I do? What's wrong?" Makai was so worried about me that it melted my heart and made it race all at the same time. He was such a good boyfriend to me. Sometimes I didn't feel like I deserved someone like him.

"It's nothing." I tried to pass it off and act like I hadn't just scared the shit out of the three people that were in the room with me.

"Don't give me that. You cried out like something was hurting you. Now tell me what's wrong." Makai snapped at me, so devoted, so loving, so pissed that I was trying to hide things from him.

"Really, I am not hurt. I just acted like an idiot because I was thinking about something, and it frustrated me to no end. I'm fine, really." Makai narrowed his eyes at me, but he slowly lowered himself into his chair.

"OK." Good, he was finally starting to believe that I wasn't in pain or whatever. "Just, make sure that you tell me if anything changes. Anything at all."

I needed to watch the way that I reacted to things for right now. I didn't want to worry Makai at all. He was going to be so paranoid for the longest time. It was probably going to be annoying, but I would deal with it. I loved him after all.

"Well, if you're doing OK for now baby, your dad and I will go and get some lunch. Will you be alright without us?" Mom looked like she was almost too nervous to leave me.

"I will be fine, Mom. You and Dad go ahead and enjoy yourselves. I will see you when you get back."

"OK, baby. I will be back soon. And I am going to call your brother and your sisters while I am gone. I will make sure that they come and visit you. Last time they didn't because you were only in the hospital for one night, but you will be here for a few days now. This time they will want to come and see you."

"Alright Mom." I kissed her on the cheek as she leaned in toward me. "I will see you in a bit."

"See you soon, Ocean." My dad came over then and leaned forward just enough to kiss the top of my cheek. I probably would have been embarrassed by this display if it was anyone other than Makai in the room with me, or if I hadn't just had a brush with death. I think my parents deserved the extra love right about now.

It wasn't more than five minutes after my parents left, that I was sitting and talking with Makai and his words got interrupted by a loud sound.

"I hate being in the hospital." I laughed at him. "This place is like a torture chamber to me." Makai was smiling at me as he listened to my feeble joke.

"When we get back home, I think that we should-."

"Urrurrruwaurrruarrr."

"Is there a dinosaur in here?" I narrowed my eyes and looked right at Makai. I knew what that sound was, but I wasn't going to let him slide right away. It was too funny. "Or is that some previously undiscovered prehistoric creature that has come back to life to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting citizens of the world? Ooh, I know, it's Godzilla's twin brother, Stomachzilla.

"Oh hush. It's the middle of the afternoon and I haven't eaten since before practice this morning. I'm fucking starving. Honestly, I am surprised that you aren't."

"Actually, now that you mention it, I am pretty hungry. But the food here sucks. We're gonna need to ask the doctor if we can get some good food in here or I'm going to die." That made Makai laugh and roll his eyes at me.

"Would you like me to go and ask the doctor then? Maybe I can get you some pasta or something like that."

"Oh, my hero." I put on a falsetto and batted my eyes at him. He only laughed louder.

"Already, stop with the jokes now. I'm going to go ask." He stood, leaned forward and kissed my lips gently. "I will be back as soon as I can. Don't go anywhere."

"Now who has the jokes?" I shook my head at him. "I have a damn catheter for crying out loud. I can't get up even if I wanted to. That would fucking hurt."

Well, with that embarrassing declaration, my boyfriend left me alone in the room. I was just going to sit here with my eyes closed and contemplate what it was that had actually happened to me. This day had been such a damn cluster fuck that I didn't even know how to process it. I needed to sort my thoughts and clear it all up. Now that I was alone, I actually felt like I was able to do just that.

"How the hell did all of this end up happening? How did it get to this point?"

"That's what I would like to know."