Amara – Reunion

Author's note: this is from Seraphina's point of view

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I listened to Duke's explanation and my heart tightened.

His words about Magda and my scholarship fund stirred an internal fight inside me as I clearly remembered her scornful gazes and those few interactions I noticed between Duke and Magda from afar suddenly got a different meaning.

I remember Duke telling me it was nothing, and I knew that he was hiding something, but after his explanation, there is a possibility that he was trying to shield me from another bully who targeted me for no fault of my own.

Duke always protected me, because he knew very well how fragile I was and it's not an exaggeration to say I might not survive those days without his presence.

My heart screamed to trust him, but my mind was putting the brakes on.

Three years ago, I heard a rumor that he is getting married and I blew up nearly half of Aldus's villa. It took me a long time to pull myself out of that emotional hell.

What will happen if we actually start dating and I end up falling for him more and then he abandons me? He did it once, and he could do it again.

I saw his sincerity, but that didn't mean his opinion will not change given the right circumstances.

"Serina, I know I messed up and I don't expect you to forgive me for the seven years we lost, but I hope you will find space in your life for me so that I can prove myself. For the last few years, I'm growing my assets and connections, and now I don't depend on anyone. No one can endanger me, and I can protect you. You can do whatever you want, the only thing I'm asking you is, don't push me away. I promise that I will not leave. Ever. I will always be by your side."

The desperation in his voice stung me fiercely. The only man I ever loved is begging me to let him stay with me. Am I cruel for hesitating?

Duke said that he loved me from the first day we met and that I'm still his only one. I would say how that's impossible, but I'm a clear example that IS possible.

I convinced myself how my emotions are just a leftover crush that got distorted by my dreams, but the last few hours proved me wrong.

I am absolutely in love with Duke, and the way my soul becomes alive when he is around, tells me that we belong together.

I can't deceive myself that my life without Duke would be anything other than agonizing.

Can I back away at this point? What will be the consequences? What are my options?

I knew that blindly accepting this relationship will be potentially catastrophic, and at the same time, staying away from Duke is impossible.

He asked me to allow him to prove his sincerity, and even though I was not clear what that means, it sounded acceptable because every other option was devastating.

"Alright…", I said.

Duke's face exploded into a smile. "You will not regret this, Serina!"

He cupped my cheeks with his palms and kissed me on the lips. It was a chaste kiss. And then he kissed me again, and again, and that last slow kiss turned hungry.

His tongue made its way inside my mouth, filling me with his flavors and messing with my reasoning.

How am I supposed to think like this?

I pulled out of the kiss with difficulty.

Why were my arms around him? Traitors!

"This… We can't kiss like this until you prove yourself.", I said breathily.

His expression fell. "How can we kiss?"

I was at a loss. Do we need to kiss? Can we go without kissing from this point?

Ah! Why is everything so confusing?

I remembered my dreams. "Uhm… you can kiss my cheek and my forehead and my hand…"

"So, only lips are off-limits?", he interrupted me, a little bit too enthusiastic for my liking.

I was not sure, but it sounded OK. "Yes?"

His sly smile was on. "I'm fine with that. I will not kiss you on the lips until you ask me. But I'm warning you that if you kiss me first I will respond and that doesn't count like I broke my word, and from that point onward, me kissing you is fair game."

How did he come up with all those rules within a second? His confidence irked me, but I nodded in agreement.

Duke inched closer and placed a longing kiss on my cheek and I realized that it will be nearly impossible to stick to the no-kissing-on-the-lips rule. What did I get myself into?

"Thank you, Serina. You will not regret this.", he murmured, and then he kissed my cheek again. "I promise." Another kiss. "I will make you happy…" And another, each kiss moving a little closer to my lips.

I gasped when I realized that I'm getting carried away and that my head is moving toward him, like a sunflower looking for the sun.

This will be more difficult than I thought.

I scooted away from him and pretended not to see his disapproval.

"We need to clarify a few things…", I said, and he looked at me expectantly. "We are not dating, and I didn't accept you."

He frowned. Is it wrong to think about a frowning man as cute?

"Instead of telling me what it isn't, how about you tell me what it is?", he demanded.

Well, he had a point. "Officially, we are friends. Unofficially, I agree to let you court me and you are not allowed to take advantage of the fact that I like you."

His lips curved into a devious smile in slow motion. "You like me?"

I rolled my eyes at him, and he lifted his hands defensively.

"Alright! Sorry, sorry…", Duke said with urgency. "When you say, officially and unofficially, that translates to when someone else is around and when we are in private, just the two of us. Right?"

I paused. What was I thinking? I was not thinking! "Yes."

His face lit up and I realized that he came up with something. 

"As friends, we will stay in touch and see each other often. And when you say that I can court you, that means I can take you out on a date." Duke reached for my hand and caressed my knuckles with his thumb. "Am I allowed to do this when we go out?" He pointed with his chin toward our hands.

"Holding hands is fine.", I confirmed.

He lifted my hand and placed a light kiss at the back of my palm. "How about this?"

Is he negotiating?

"That's also fine."

Duke scooted closer to me and kissed my cheek. "How about this?"

"Are we talking about in private or in public?", I asked in a shaky voice because he didn't move away, and he made small circles with his nose over my cheek.

"I know many friends who kiss each other on the cheek in public.", Duke murmured, his lips feeling ticklish on the edge of my jaw.

I turned toward him, and our noses touched. "Do you kiss your friends?"

"All my kisses are for you only."

Damn this man! Other than being outrageously handsome, he is a sweet talker as well. I'm doomed!

We were too close, and I wanted to pull back, but I saw his sly smile and I didn't want to be the one to lose in this showdown. As long as I don't ask to be kissed and don't go for it first, I'm fine, right?

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