As The Wind Blows Your Scent To Me
Chapter 57 - We Are Nothing More Than Two People Who Used To Share Good And Bad Memories Together
Days passed by in a blink of an eye.
Today was Thursday which meant, Himari would go to the dreadful reunion dinner tomorrow night.
Even though she was nervous, Himari tried to calm herself by thinking of going back to her hometown on Saturday morning.
A bullet-train ticket heading to the province where she lived had already been booked online. She just needed to be there before the train departed.
Ring~ Ring~
"Chobi! Stop playing with my phone!" Himari yelled as she got up from the floor to pick up the ringing phone.
Earlier, Chobi was attracted to a cat video on her phone. Himari just let him be since he just quietly sat in front of the screen.
Now, because of the ringing, Chobi tapped his paw against the screen, feeling displeased that the call had ruined his time watching the video.
"Meow, meow!"
"Shoo, go away," Himari lightly pushed the fat cat away. She looked at the screen.
An unknown number.
"Who is it this time?" She sighed.
The other day, she received a call from President Kasai. Now, who would it be next? Would it really be an insurance agent this time?
"Hello, Kato's here," Himari introduced herself, "May I help you?"
"..."
Himari blinked when no voice sounded from the phone. She could just vaguely hear music from a distance.
"Hello? Do you call the wrong number? I'd hang up now," She spoke again when the caller still didn't say anything.
"..."
Himari pursed her lips, "Okay, wrong number then. Bye."
She moved the phone away from her ear, ready to hang up the call before an anxious voice echoed from the end of the line.
"Himari!"
Himari froze. Her eyes widened in shock. Her heart stopped pounding for a moment. The finger that wanted to end the call paused from moving.
This voice...
"Himari, it's me. Have you forgotten about me?"
It was him.
"Himari, talk to me, okay?"
Jun.
Although Himari didn't want to, countless memories of him began to surge up from the deepest part of her mind.
In an instant, her heart throbbed in pain.
His smile.
His teasing voice.
His soft eyes whenever he looked at her.
Bit by bit, the blurred images slowly turned clearer as if those just happened yesterday.
Himari clenched her other hand into a fist, forcing herself to face reality. She slowly moved the phone back to her ear. Her eyes were dully directed to space before her.
"...Jun, long time no hear from you."
He was back.
He was finally back.
And, he was there, at the end of the line.
Himari's mood was a complicated one. She didn't even know how to control the swirls of emotions that were overwhelming her mind.
While the surrounding was peaceful, her mind was in chaos.
The sound of children's laughter came from the nearby houses. They gently spread in the serene spring night.
The joyful laughter failed to calm her mind.
In the three years that they had separated, Himari never thought of either one of them contacting each other. She was firm on her stance of breaking every part of their relationship with him.
Other people might still remain as friends with their exes but, she could not.
To Himari, staying friends with Jun after their breakup would still lead to inevitable problems. Especially when at that time, Jun wasn't willing to break off their relationship.
If possible, she didn't even want to hear about him.
"I know you don't want me to contact you but, I still do it. I want to speak to you before the reunion tomorrow."
The man's voice sounded a bit anxious. It reminded Himari of the day of their breakup.
That day, he was desperately begging her to take back her decision. Although she felt so sorry for him, she refused to succumb to his pleas.
"I don't need you to convey anything to me. Nanako has been keeping me up to date with everything," Himari answered coolly.
Her voice was cold.
Yet, her eyes bore a myriad of emotions; bewildered, confused, distracted and melancholic.
Himari didn't know what should she tell him. Her mind was layered by fog, making her at a loss on what she should do next.
She didn't want to be too spiteful but, she didn't want to be too nice to him either. He might mistake it as her just brooding with him, waiting for him to coax her then in the end, got back together with him.
As if he could discern that his Mama was having a bad time, Chobi ran to Himari, got on her lap and curled up into a bundle. He didn't even meow yet, Chobi kept looking at his Mama.
Himari felt comforted by Chobi's sudden antics.
She lifted up her free hand and began to stroke Chobi's fur. Chobi purred in satisfaction. He jutted out his barbed tongue then he slowly licked his paws.
'Thank you,' she mouthed to Chobi.
Chobi was so warm. The warmth of his body seeped through the layer of her skirt, penetrated into her skin then spread all over her heart.
The overwhelming feelings slowly dispersed from her mind, clearing the fog in her mind.
"Jun, congratulations on finishing your study. Since you're back, focus on giving back to society. I heard that you'd become a lecturer in a national university. Congratulations once again."
Although Himari's voice still sounded distant as if she was talking to a stranger, she managed to keep her exasperation in check.
"...Thank you. Yes, I'll stay in this city again so, I will directly ask you. Won't you come back to me?"
Himari's eyes slightly flickered. She didn't foresee that Jun would be so direct in telling her his wish.
Although there was a possibility that Jun wanted to mend their broken relationship by the stories told by Nanako, Himari was still surprised over it.
But, unfortunately, she had to disappoint him once again.
The lines where their lives used to intersect had been broken.
If she accepted him back, the secret that she concealed in her heart might be revealed to the world.
It was enough for only her to know about it.
The secret that might cost her sanity if she thought about it again.
Himari closed her eyes for a moment. A sense of fright ran down her spine. She quickly shook her head, trying to regain her composure.
"Jun, we are nothing more than two people who used to share good and bad memories together. In other words, I refuse."
"Himari, I promise that I won't let you feel wrong by my family again!" Jun's voice raised an octave, "Let's get back, okay? This time, we would really be happy. I won't stay with my parents so you don't have to worry about facing them."
He sounded so desperate, like on that day.
Himari swallowed a bitter smile.
Where did his calm and compose self go?
If he wanted to say it was all due to her, Himari won't listen to any of it. She wasn't responsible for his choices in life.
One person could be another person's guide but, in the end, it was up to him how he would perceive his views.
"Himari, let's meet and talk tomorrow, okay?" Jun's voice sounded again after Himari didn't reply to him, "We broke up at the hotel so, why don't we get back together there as well?"
Himari sighed inwardly.
In the small possibility of his parents could accept her now, Himari couldn't find any courage to really forget the incidents that led to their breakup.
To forgive, maybe.
But, to forget, it was hard.
It was better if they went separate ways than to cling to the idea of love could conquer all.
Unless she could entirely forget the downs in their relationship.
"I've said before, find someone else, Jun. You're an accomplished post-graduate. You should mind your behavior for a little. That's it, I'm hanging up."
"Himari! Don't..."
Tut.
Himari ended the call even before Jun could finish speaking. She immediately put his number on the blacklist. After that, she let out a loud sigh.
Her eyes fell on Chobi was still curling on her lap.
"Well, what a way for two ex-lovers to have their first conversation in years, isn't it?"
"Meow~"
Himari continued stroking Chobi's head down to his body. The fat cat turned on his back, revealing his belly to Himari. She laughed funnily.
"Meow, meow~"
Chobi was so content to have his belly rubbed by his Mama. He kept meowing until his voice turned lower and lower.
In the end, he fell asleep.
Himari stifled a laugh. She raised her head from her furry son and threw her gaze outside of the windows.
The neon lights of the skyscrapers of the city could be seen from her little apartment. The moon was bright and there were little to no clouds in the night sky.
Jun's call came unexpectedly yet, what she was dreading before didn't come true.
Although Himari admitted that her mind was thrown off balance due to the sudden call, instead of confusion and the likes, she found that her heart didn't pound hard like how it used to whenever she heard his voice in the past.
Was it because she had completely moved on from him?
Or, was it because they hadn't met face to face?
Himari lightly shook her head.
She would just see how it was when she came across Jun tomorrow.. She just hoped her heart would react like how her brain had anticipated.
Today was Thursday which meant, Himari would go to the dreadful reunion dinner tomorrow night.
Even though she was nervous, Himari tried to calm herself by thinking of going back to her hometown on Saturday morning.
A bullet-train ticket heading to the province where she lived had already been booked online. She just needed to be there before the train departed.
Ring~ Ring~
"Chobi! Stop playing with my phone!" Himari yelled as she got up from the floor to pick up the ringing phone.
Earlier, Chobi was attracted to a cat video on her phone. Himari just let him be since he just quietly sat in front of the screen.
Now, because of the ringing, Chobi tapped his paw against the screen, feeling displeased that the call had ruined his time watching the video.
"Meow, meow!"
"Shoo, go away," Himari lightly pushed the fat cat away. She looked at the screen.
An unknown number.
"Who is it this time?" She sighed.
The other day, she received a call from President Kasai. Now, who would it be next? Would it really be an insurance agent this time?
"Hello, Kato's here," Himari introduced herself, "May I help you?"
"..."
Himari blinked when no voice sounded from the phone. She could just vaguely hear music from a distance.
"Hello? Do you call the wrong number? I'd hang up now," She spoke again when the caller still didn't say anything.
"..."
Himari pursed her lips, "Okay, wrong number then. Bye."
She moved the phone away from her ear, ready to hang up the call before an anxious voice echoed from the end of the line.
"Himari!"
Himari froze. Her eyes widened in shock. Her heart stopped pounding for a moment. The finger that wanted to end the call paused from moving.
This voice...
"Himari, it's me. Have you forgotten about me?"
It was him.
"Himari, talk to me, okay?"
Jun.
Although Himari didn't want to, countless memories of him began to surge up from the deepest part of her mind.
In an instant, her heart throbbed in pain.
His smile.
His teasing voice.
His soft eyes whenever he looked at her.
Bit by bit, the blurred images slowly turned clearer as if those just happened yesterday.
Himari clenched her other hand into a fist, forcing herself to face reality. She slowly moved the phone back to her ear. Her eyes were dully directed to space before her.
"...Jun, long time no hear from you."
He was back.
He was finally back.
And, he was there, at the end of the line.
Himari's mood was a complicated one. She didn't even know how to control the swirls of emotions that were overwhelming her mind.
While the surrounding was peaceful, her mind was in chaos.
The sound of children's laughter came from the nearby houses. They gently spread in the serene spring night.
The joyful laughter failed to calm her mind.
In the three years that they had separated, Himari never thought of either one of them contacting each other. She was firm on her stance of breaking every part of their relationship with him.
Other people might still remain as friends with their exes but, she could not.
To Himari, staying friends with Jun after their breakup would still lead to inevitable problems. Especially when at that time, Jun wasn't willing to break off their relationship.
If possible, she didn't even want to hear about him.
"I know you don't want me to contact you but, I still do it. I want to speak to you before the reunion tomorrow."
The man's voice sounded a bit anxious. It reminded Himari of the day of their breakup.
That day, he was desperately begging her to take back her decision. Although she felt so sorry for him, she refused to succumb to his pleas.
"I don't need you to convey anything to me. Nanako has been keeping me up to date with everything," Himari answered coolly.
Her voice was cold.
Yet, her eyes bore a myriad of emotions; bewildered, confused, distracted and melancholic.
Himari didn't know what should she tell him. Her mind was layered by fog, making her at a loss on what she should do next.
She didn't want to be too spiteful but, she didn't want to be too nice to him either. He might mistake it as her just brooding with him, waiting for him to coax her then in the end, got back together with him.
As if he could discern that his Mama was having a bad time, Chobi ran to Himari, got on her lap and curled up into a bundle. He didn't even meow yet, Chobi kept looking at his Mama.
Himari felt comforted by Chobi's sudden antics.
She lifted up her free hand and began to stroke Chobi's fur. Chobi purred in satisfaction. He jutted out his barbed tongue then he slowly licked his paws.
'Thank you,' she mouthed to Chobi.
Chobi was so warm. The warmth of his body seeped through the layer of her skirt, penetrated into her skin then spread all over her heart.
The overwhelming feelings slowly dispersed from her mind, clearing the fog in her mind.
"Jun, congratulations on finishing your study. Since you're back, focus on giving back to society. I heard that you'd become a lecturer in a national university. Congratulations once again."
Although Himari's voice still sounded distant as if she was talking to a stranger, she managed to keep her exasperation in check.
"...Thank you. Yes, I'll stay in this city again so, I will directly ask you. Won't you come back to me?"
Himari's eyes slightly flickered. She didn't foresee that Jun would be so direct in telling her his wish.
Although there was a possibility that Jun wanted to mend their broken relationship by the stories told by Nanako, Himari was still surprised over it.
But, unfortunately, she had to disappoint him once again.
The lines where their lives used to intersect had been broken.
If she accepted him back, the secret that she concealed in her heart might be revealed to the world.
It was enough for only her to know about it.
The secret that might cost her sanity if she thought about it again.
Himari closed her eyes for a moment. A sense of fright ran down her spine. She quickly shook her head, trying to regain her composure.
"Jun, we are nothing more than two people who used to share good and bad memories together. In other words, I refuse."
"Himari, I promise that I won't let you feel wrong by my family again!" Jun's voice raised an octave, "Let's get back, okay? This time, we would really be happy. I won't stay with my parents so you don't have to worry about facing them."
He sounded so desperate, like on that day.
Himari swallowed a bitter smile.
Where did his calm and compose self go?
If he wanted to say it was all due to her, Himari won't listen to any of it. She wasn't responsible for his choices in life.
One person could be another person's guide but, in the end, it was up to him how he would perceive his views.
"Himari, let's meet and talk tomorrow, okay?" Jun's voice sounded again after Himari didn't reply to him, "We broke up at the hotel so, why don't we get back together there as well?"
Himari sighed inwardly.
In the small possibility of his parents could accept her now, Himari couldn't find any courage to really forget the incidents that led to their breakup.
To forgive, maybe.
But, to forget, it was hard.
It was better if they went separate ways than to cling to the idea of love could conquer all.
Unless she could entirely forget the downs in their relationship.
"I've said before, find someone else, Jun. You're an accomplished post-graduate. You should mind your behavior for a little. That's it, I'm hanging up."
"Himari! Don't..."
Tut.
Himari ended the call even before Jun could finish speaking. She immediately put his number on the blacklist. After that, she let out a loud sigh.
Her eyes fell on Chobi was still curling on her lap.
"Well, what a way for two ex-lovers to have their first conversation in years, isn't it?"
"Meow~"
Himari continued stroking Chobi's head down to his body. The fat cat turned on his back, revealing his belly to Himari. She laughed funnily.
"Meow, meow~"
Chobi was so content to have his belly rubbed by his Mama. He kept meowing until his voice turned lower and lower.
In the end, he fell asleep.
Himari stifled a laugh. She raised her head from her furry son and threw her gaze outside of the windows.
The neon lights of the skyscrapers of the city could be seen from her little apartment. The moon was bright and there were little to no clouds in the night sky.
Jun's call came unexpectedly yet, what she was dreading before didn't come true.
Although Himari admitted that her mind was thrown off balance due to the sudden call, instead of confusion and the likes, she found that her heart didn't pound hard like how it used to whenever she heard his voice in the past.
Was it because she had completely moved on from him?
Or, was it because they hadn't met face to face?
Himari lightly shook her head.
She would just see how it was when she came across Jun tomorrow.. She just hoped her heart would react like how her brain had anticipated.
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