Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG

The last of the low leveled clergy trickled out of the hall while the Council still battled.

The paladin blocked a radiant spell with his shield while striking at Razo as Irden rained blows on the Pope. The formerly shiny yellow robes hang in tatters from the wayward Pope, but he showed no tiredness or significant wounds.

Thanks to the still ongoing effect of Refresh, Flora had regenerated ten mana. Enough for a prayer.

\u003cPraying for Mana\u003e

Flora took a deep breath.

"So, who started the fight, Aidan?"

"Like you assumed, the Pope."

"I'm glad we got the clergy out. The worst that could happen is Razo killing everybody. What else can he do? I can't protect the other council members while they are level 250. Or can I? What spell do I have that work based on percentages, not on flat numbers?" Flora got the idea from Re-Generate. It influenced the existing Regeneration of the recipient. That made is as useful for people with a higher level as for low levels.

Flora scanned her spell list. She was angry at herself for needing to waste precious seconds. As a crafter, she should know her tools.

"I forgot about Thaumaturgy!" Immediately, she cast the cryptic prayer aiming at the battle.

Name: Thaumaturgy (Divine, Priest)

Description: Random, but helpful, wondrous deed.

Affinity effect: Faith, strong

CD: 5 min

Duration: varies

Mana cost: varies

She hoped the last downed novices had survived. Their death would be on her. Mana and Health Regeneration were common effects of the prayer and would have helped the low leveled clergy.

"What the fragment is going on, Raffa?" Zander yelled. The Metaling bishop had recovered from the strain of casting the barrier and raised her scepter at the ex-pope. "Why did you try to kill my charges?"

Flora found the next useful spell, Dawn, and cast it. Then, she closed the list to concentrate on the ongoing drama.

"I switched allegiances, dear former fellow," Razo answered, dodging the paladin's sword strike. "Have you ever heard of the story of how Saul became Paul?"

'My first live audience to a villain monologue, oh dear. I wonder how long until I will perform one of them myself...'

Now, Flora had the time to analyze the battle. The combat had slowed down. Razo glowed and evaded Ceart's sword and shield. Nomizo still cast spells, and Dysian stood around as useless as ever. The Abbott treated Razo as his punching bag and pelted him with his fists. The problem was, Razo emulated a bag too well. He barely swayed under the assault and didn't even bother to dodge them.

When Flora finished being impressed by the elegance of the combatants, she noticed how utterly ineffective the moves seemed to be. Irden and Ceart hit the upper body of the ex-pope instead of weak points like joints and head.

The only visible result of over one minute of combat was Razo's shredded robe. It was the most pathetic fight Flora had ever seen, including two fashion models pulling each other's hair on Germany's Next Top Model. (Their wardrobe malfunction had been more spectacular, too.)

Raffa Razo retold the biblical story of Paul.

"I've seen the Light. I walked the false path of the many Gods, but Jesus called to me. The new Earthling Gods are more powerful than our Gods ever be. Evailyn is the worst of them. She started as Major God of Home, fell to God of Home Improvement, and now is only a Minor Goddess of Home Appliances. The other Gods will share her fate. The all-encompassing One Gods of the Earthlings are stronger. From now on, I will be known as Paul Razo, High-Priest of Christianity."

"What a mess." Flora transmitted to her AIs. "I don't know where to start to untangle it. Christianity is not about killing defenseless novices. Is he right about Evailyn's demotion? Please check that out, Aito."

Aito replied with a long, sad beep. First, Flora thought Aito just acknowledged the order, but maybe she confirmed the story? Razo interrupted Flora's speculations.

"The Christian God Deus is about forgiveness. You all can have a place in his church. Leave Evailyn and join the Light." Razo said, looking at Dysian.

"In Christian mythology, there is a special place in hell for traitors. I'm sure the part for attempted mass murders is just as nice." Flora said loud enough for the Council to hear.

"And I'll send you there," Zander screamed. She started slashing spell towards the ex-pope. Spurred by her zeal, the fight picked up speed.

"My old friend, Hannes, join me."

Flora went to the wrecked Hungry Chest. First, she repaired the octopussy next to it. Then she commanded Aito to help her crafting armor parts out of the metal of the container − Anti-Magic Armor. Ducked behind the Hungry Chest, she began dismantling it.

"Yes, Dysian, decide and reveal to us who you are." The paladin Ceart thundered. "Are you a man who will take a second chance in the Church of the Goddess he loves, or are you a man who will join a mass murderer because of a slight?"

Although Flora concentrated on her work, she couldn't help but nod. The paladin captain not only had a nice booty but also knew his priorities.

Wordlessly, Dysian stripped off his yellow robes and threw his scepter on the floor. "You are all crazy. Good riddance, everybody." Before he left the hall, he turned around to Flora. "This is your fault."

"Aidan, stop him from taking non-personal things out of his office." One of Aidan's Firefly-Toasters was still in the building. Flora hoped it could resist enough or at least make a racket. "And how long can they stay level 250?"

"It depends how close they are to 251. The maximum is 25 minutes."

While the battle heated up, Flora and Aito shaped metal plates and put holes in them to connect them. Now and then, lights of an area effect washed over them, but the chest shielded them enough to survive.

Just as they finished the chest piece, two half-pipes with wire strung together with thick metal chains as shoulder straps, Nomizo joined them behind the Hungry Chest.

"My enhanced state is over." The bishop panted and leaned on the rest of the backdoor. "What can I do to help you?"

"Stay alive." Flora looked her over, she seemed uninjured, but with a RGS of 3, she shouldn't have many HP. "Can you survive an area effect?"

Nomizo raised her eyebrows and sent Flora a long look. "Nearly 1000 hit points should be enough even for a direct hit."

"Sorry, I'm new. Please connect the parts of the bracer on one side. On the other side, just put some wires through the holes. We will twirl them after putting the bracers on."

The Woodling seemed skeptical of the design but started to work. Flora couldn't fault her. The tin-man had smoother armor, but the construction wasn't for her to enjoy.

Flora completed the halved tubes for the legs and one bucket for the head. Then she sent her plan to Aito.

"Beep, beep."

"You can't throw an A-rated Native over your shoulder, Milady. They have boss stability."

"No taking down Bosses? That's mean. What about a rear naked choke?"

"Choking is a debuff, and they have increased immunity against them. However, a rear naked choke is actually an attack against an artery, so that might work. Just hugging him might be the best option."

"Dear Bishop, I'm going to do something stupid. Do you have any heal over times for my octopussy for the way?" Flora asked, grinning at Nomizo's doubtful glance.

Aito took the bracers, the leg tubes, and the barrel chest into her tentacles.

\u003cHurry Up: Octopussy\u003e

\u003cSprint: Mech Suit\u003e

Flora sprinted to the ex-pope. Dragged behind Aito, the metal of the chest piece screeched on the floor.

Razo was focused on Ceart, but at the last moment, he noticed her and pointed his scepter into her direction. However, Flora was faster.

Before Razo could cast a spell, she had imposed the metal bucket on him and put her right arm around his neck. She went behind him and gripped her left arm's biceps to lock his head between her two arms. With her left hand behind his head and his throat in the crook of her the right elbow, she pressed.

Aito got to work. She put the bracer around his right arm and intertwined the wires to secure them.

While Razo struggled, the Abbott had stopped attacking and gaped at Flora. To his credit, open space to hit was limited with Flora occupying the back, Aito the right, and the paladin the front of the ex-pope. After Flora nudged her mentally, the octopussy gave Irden the left bracer and continued with the leg tubes.

"Damn you!" A cascade of muffled curses flowed out of the bucket.

Flora felt him cast Smite, and it ripped through her body. The metal handicap did its work, so Flora survived it even point-blank, but her health bar plummeted. Another spell reached her but brought relief. Someone, maybe Zander, had healed her.

With Irden's help, Aito put on the second leg. Ceart took the barrel from her. He hauled the front piece up while Irden heaved the back part. When Flora jumped back from the ex-pope, they brought the pieces together. Rapidly, Flora intertwined the wires and secured the chains across his shoulders. Another chain fixated Razo's arm to his sides.

Flora would have liked to enclose hands in metal mittens as well, but so far, the ex-pope had cast only more curses but no spells or prayers.

"Good work, Champion," Ceart said, wiping the sweat off his face.

"But what now?" Irden added.

"I still want him dead," Zander stated, while Nomizo rejoined the group.

"What is the usual procedure for murderous traitors in the church?" Flora asked.

"Execution." Ceart and Zander answered at the same time.

Flora wanted to say that they should do it, but she couldn't. The words wouldn't come across her lips. At the same time, she wanted to say that they should spare him or deliver him to his new church, but she couldn't form the sentence.

The new reality and her old opinions about the futility of the death penalty struggled. At last, she shrugged.

"All in agreement?" Ceart asked.

"Aye." Irden, Zander, and Nomizo agreed.

With a clean strike, Ceart chopped off the head of the ex-pope.

Bile rose in Flora's throat, and thoughts tumbled through her mind. 'Now, the paladin suddenly knows how to target weak points' was one of them, but the most prominent were 'Why did I allow that?', 'What am I doing?' and 'What have I become?'. Finally, 'Why can I puke, but I can't shit?' won out as Flora's breakfast, toast with strawberry jam, reversed its way.

\u003cClean\u003e!

"Next, we have to vote for a new leader and help him obtain the high-priest class," Zander said, ignoring the puking Flora.

Flora took deep breaths and willed the notifications away that blocked her vision.

"Wrong." She interjected. "I haven't finished my investigation. Now, the traitor is dead, and my questions unanswered. First, the rest of you have to prove that you are part of the church, then I look at the books. Whoever remains in the church after next Monday may make these decisions."

"You can't be serious!" Zander exclaimed. The other looked shocked, too.

"I'm very serious." Flora handed her the Multitool Scepter over the body of the dead pope.