Be Fascinated

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Chapter 42

“Your Highness, aren’t you bored now? I’ve run away time and time again because I’m sick of you. I turned away from you even before that person… died.”

Philia’s voice trembled.

“Are you still chasing me?”

Claude looked at her, Philia.

“You saved me, didn’t you?”

Philia looked at Claude in surprise. Claude continued.

“I… never wanted you to die.”

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He was imitating Philia’s tone. Knowing when she had said it, she opened her eyes wide.

“…Your HIghness.”

“And then you kissed me, hot and ecstatic.”

“…….”

“I thought it was a dream. But when I received that kiss, I thought it wouldn’t matter if I died.”

“…….”

“Even when I woke up, I thought it was a hallucination. Because I drew you. When I heard that you were a ‘real saint’, everything matched. Everything from being capable of healing the poison.”

“…….”

“The woman who hated me disappeared with her wedding ring. Wouldn’t that urge me to move?”

Claude said this, Philia could see his desperation on his face.

“Even though I know you’re fed up with me and don’t want to marry me.”

“Is that why you don’t marry?”

“I don’t want to, because I knew what married people were saying.”

All married people became unhappy. There was his younger brother and his wife, but his parents were the most influential to his impression. A greedy empress, an emperor with only authority—they were a married couple who hated each other.

Being their son was so terrifying that even Claude, who had little to no emotion, had grown weary of it. It was a thought deeply embedded in Claude, that marriage was the key to unhappiness.

So he did not have to get married and continued to take her body as it was. He was satisfied with that.

“You took away all traces of us, no, you and me.”

When she hears the word ‘we’, he corrects it as if he knew that Philia didn’t like it.

“I wanted to ask. What kind of thoughts did you have when you saved me?”

“…….”

“If I really went crazy, I would torture you again.”

“…….”

“You always gave me a look of despair, or a look of boredom. But why did you save me?”

Philia did not deny Claude’s words. Because it was true that she felt that feeling. On the other hand, she also knew what kind of emotion Claude had as he came to her.

He came with hope. Just in case. Just in case. Those feelings. Philia let out a sigh.

“If you don’t like it, I won’t come back.”

“…….”

“If you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to.”

“……Can I ask you one more question?”

“What is it?”

“Why don’t you try to force me now? If it’s you, that’s all there is to it.”

“When I see you looking sick and tired of me…”

“…….”

“I want to erase my existence. It’s like that even now.”

Claude looked elsewhere as if turning away from Philia’s face. Philia was momentarily surprised. Can this person make a face like this?

He had an agonized expression. Did he also realize something?

Philia recalled the painful times she had with Claude. She used to be angry, but she burned the mansion and the resentment somehow disappeared. She was just a little angry.

“I, the reason I saved you…”

She actually didn’t want to say it. She just wanted to tell him to go back.

“I just wanted to save you. Because I couldn’t wait and just see you die. Because I didn’t want you to die.”

Upon hearing this, Claude made an expression of incomprehension.

“Do you still think you are a saint?”

At that, Philia smiled and shook her head.

“No. It was a big decision I made for the first time as myself. It was not an instilled, forced thought.”

“…….”

“There was no great reason. But I wasn’t trying to save you completely. If I had, I wouldn’t have burned the mansion.”

“…….”

“I hate you so much that I want to kill you. But I don’t want you to die. It’s not because I’m good, or because I’m forced to think that way.”

Someone may think that something like that has happened to her, shouldn’t be forgiven. Someone might say that she loved him, so she could forgive a little bit. But Philia said she just wanted to do that.

For Claude, who always stood in a position of superiority over her and dominated her. No one will know how much it means.

“I am no longer the object of your love and possession.”

As she said that, Philia’s heart pounded. She always wanted to say this. She suddenly felt that her heart, which had been heavy inside her in the meantime, became lighter.

“I know.”

Claude answered, staring blankly at Philia’s face. It was the face he wanted to see so much. Philia’s face was filled with color.

Even though she was dressed in splendid clothes and decorated with precious ornaments, he could dare say that she was not as beautiful as the current Philia.

Claude saw that face and then realized. Really everything went wrong. Everything from the first step.

“Really, I was wrong.”

Claude’s words were sincere. Philia knew it. Upon hearing his apology, Philia did not know what to do with it.

“I will never do that to you again.”

“…….”

“I still like you. I love you.”

“…….”

Philia bit her lip. It would have been nice if he had told her a little earlier. Then she wouldn’t have been in agony.

Philia looked at the man’s figure. The man who looked like he had collapsed because of her. His figure begging for love. Can he change?

“I… I forgot all about the past.”

Philia said quietly. Claude widened his eyes.

“The sad memories and the happy memories.”

“…….”

That’s all Philia had to say. She turned her back and walked away. Claude didn’t follow after her.

Carlos forced a smile. Looking at the veins on his forehead, he was smiling brightly, but it was very uncomfortable to see. Amelia smiled.

“Does that man think changing identity is as simple as changing clothes?”

He even used the word ‘that man’ to his older brother sitting across from him. Amelia said with a smirk.

“Calm down.”

Amelia thought it might have been her fault. It was because she had personally interpreted what Philia had in her mind and said it to Claude who was dismayed.

‘To forget the past may mean to start all over again.’

The power of Amelia’s words was great. They’ve never seen the unperturbed Grand Duke move so quickly. Amelia was surprised, but Carlos was more so shocked. He quickly started organizing his personal affairs.

“Then, if the opportunity arises, I will see you again.”

Claude said in a dull tone, got up, and disappeared. He had a dignified attitude, regardless of whether he had status or not, whether he was above or below the emperor.

“Amelia, shall I slash that man’s head now? I think I was deceived by that man.”

Carlos said this seriously. When he ascended to the throne, he agreed to help him, and now he pushed him out like that. In the end, it was Carlos who took the throne and was hit by the work.

‘I’m sorry…’

Looking at the closed door, Amelia took Carlos’s hand and apologized quietly. As expected, she shouldn’t have advised Claude. Until he realizes it on his own…

But it was so frustrating…’

Amelia noticed that Claude’s back looked oddly slender. If Philia asks for help again, she will help without hesitation. But for some reason, she was convinced.

She was sure it would work out just fine now.

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