Before My Withering

Chapter 4

Qi Shu didn’t let me go in the end.

Lust was the umbrella of tears.¹ I could finally shed tears with abandon, but he just thought I was too happy.

He always knew how to make me surrender. I didn’t want to act so obedient today so I desperately tore the sheets beneath me and told him not to do it here.

Anywhere was fine, as long as it’s not here.

Smelling the residual pheromones and thinking of their intertwined flesh would’ve made me vomit.

I had thought my fierce resistance would be met with an even more rough treatment, but Qi Shu didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Instead, he carried me to the sofa outside.

Probably because the little omega had served him happily, I also got a touch of light and a little bit of tenderness.

“What else can you do besides crying,” said Qi Shu.

I can’t do anything.

I had no clue how to be coquettish or adress him Qi ge² softly. I don’t know how to please my alpha just by instinct like any other omegas.

Even my pheromone is fake.

The doctor said that the kind of pheromones I would get after the gland transplant would depend on the original body, so my plan to choose a flavor that would match Qi Shu’s failed.

Wen Yan’s pheromone was lychee-flavored, and the bed partners that Qi Shu had would mostly be sweet and fruity-scented. I couldn’t satisfy him with such a simple thing.

I used to have a delusion that no matter how well I behaved and how much I liked him, one day, Qi Shu would leave me a small place in his heart.

But the closer Wen Yan’s arrival to China was, the colder he became towards me. Only then I knew that delusion was delusion after all, and that having a place in Qi Shu’s heart was only wishful thinking.

There was no way to stay with him even for a short while longer.

Perhaps I should consider the professor’s suggestion.

Qi Shu had a meeting in the afternoon and asked me to wait for him here. I didn’t want to go back to the bedroom, so I curled up on the couch and wrapped myself under a blanket then drifted off.

During the period, Xiao Wu came in to deliver me coffee and dessert, and carefully advised me not to make trouble with Qi Shu. Every time he got angry, the people underneath would have a hard time.

I’m making trouble with Qi Shu?

I make him angry?

You gave me too much credit.

I asked Xiao Wu if he knew who the omega was today. Xiao Wu turned pale and stammered that it was a new intern.

An 18 or 19-year old who had just attended university was able to enter Qi Shu’s company as an intern? Only idiots would believe it.

After Xiao Wu went out, I called the doctor and asked if I could set an appointment for a physical examination tomorrow. I briefly stated my symptoms, and after a moment of silence, the other side asked, “How often do you faint specifically?”

I thought about it and answered, “One or two days. it would happen all of a sudden every time.”

“There may be something wrong with your gland. Come as soon as possible tomorrow.” The doctor’s tone was serious.

“Okay. Thank you.”

There’s something wrong with the gland… I felt the back of my neck that was bitten by Qi Shu just now.

The smell of amber still remained on my body, and was still evident after washing.

I didn’t realize he was so much like a dog that likes to circle territory before.

I remember a long time ago when I was done, he sniffed the back of my neck and said, “Why aren’t you an Omega?” At that time, I was in a daze and forgot to answer.

Later, I asked him if he wanted me to be an omega, and he aggressively said, “Don’t think about those useless things,” and never talked about omegas again. He was unhappy until I had the transplant.

If you’re unhappy, then you’re unhappy. Every bite was indispensable.

This was probably the instinct of an inferior alpha.

I hung up and fell asleep. I didn’t know how long I slept. I was carried up and moved into the car semi-consciously. I heard Qi Shu say, “I have to fuck you to convince you to be obedient.”

“I’ve always been obedient…” I retorted instinctively.

“Did you hear me tell you to stay away from those messy alphas?” Qi Shu asked.

He didn’t move gently at all and slammed my head against the car window again.

This bastard.

What’s so good besides that patch of skin? Why should I like him?

“Only you are the messiest…. You sleep with others… You’re dirty..”

Oh no, I seem to have said what’s on my mind.

Don’t dare open your eyes.

When I felt Qi Shu sitting beside me, my whole body muscles tensed up. His eyes were so existential that he stared straight through my heart.

“You say it like you’re so clean.”

After a long time, Qi Shu chuckled.

“How are you going to meet him when you’ve gotten so dirty?”

Who?

I pricked up my ears and waited for Qi Shu to follow up, but he already stopped.

We didn’t sleep together at night. He was very busy in his study. I didn’t dare to disturb him. When I woke up the next day, there was no trace of anyone lying beside me.

I listened to the doctor and went to the hospital early.

Private hospitals would always appear like they’re deserted, as if not many people in the world were suffering from illness.

When the doctor saw me, his expression was similar to that of Xu Xingze. When I first came to the surgery by myself, I was unaccompanied before and after, and acted extremely self-reliant. The doctor probably thought that I was a strong person, so I didn’t restrain my expression.

He looked at me as if I was suffering a terminal illness.

Fortunately, it wasn’t a terminal illness.

“….In short, the artificial gland can’t come to terms with your body. The game between the two sides is constantly depleting your vitality…”

The doctor took the CT report as he smacked his lips on top of the other. I listened for a few minutes before I understood what he said.

“…Your heart has already shown symptoms of failure, and all the body indicators aren’t too optimistic. If you go on like this, you may not be able to last long…”

Oh, the little gadget that didn’t belong to me at the back of my neck was going to kill me.

“Then I… What should I do….” I interrupted the doctor.

Although life was hopeless, I didn’t want to die yet.

“The easiest and most effective method is to have an immediate surgery to remove the gland.” The doctor paused, “But…”

It’s over. There’s a but.

He gave me a profound look and sighed, “But removing the gland could have an unpredictable effect on the fetus. You should know how important the mother’s pheromones are during pregnancy… In other words, your glands and your child are in a coexistence relationship.”

Wait… I didn’t understand again.

What fetus? What child?

“Doctor, what are you talking about?”

“You don’t know?” The doctor’s surprised expression didn’t seem fake. “You’re six weeks pregnant.”

Pregnant?!

How was that possible?!

Beta male childbirth wasn’t fully developed, so the probability of pregnancy was very miniscule. That’s why Qi Shu hadn’t worn a condom for so many years.

Before the surgery, the doctor also said that, in general, transplanting omega glands doesn’t increase the possibility of conception.

How could I be pregnant?

My head was buzzing. I grasped the armrest and tried to restrain my shaking body. I confirmed to the doctor, “Am I really… pregnant? Is there no mistake?”

“There can be no mistake.” The doctor was adamant, “Your recent weakness is also related to pregnancy.”

So I’m pregnant.. with Qi Shu’s child….?

At that moment, I had the urge to cry and laugh simultaneously.

Damn fate. It really won’t let me go for a moment.

“It’s best for the father to come to the hospital,” said the doctor.

“He’s.. very busy.” I said with difficulty, “I’ll go back and tell him…”

Without reluctance, the doctor added: “In addition, I suggest you do some psychological counseling. Emotional outbursts are prone during pregnancy. Your insomnia and anorexia aren’t entirely the physical problems. Oh right, there happen to be two specialists in the Psychiatry-Psychology Department. You can stop by later.”

I had other things on my mind and didn’t really hear what the doctor said.

The gland and the fetus co-existed, so they would die together.

And the glands in turn were in a life-or-death situation with my body.

In other words…

“Doctor, how long can I live if… I don’t remove the gland?”

“Mr. Xiao.” The doctor’s shock was tinged with a bit of anger, “A physically healthy beta male childbirth still has great risk, you…”

“I know. I was just asking…”

The doctor stared at me blankly for a long time, and finally compromised: “…If you take good care of yourself, half a year.”

Half a year…

I suddenly calmed down when I got the answer.

I couldn’t be any more familiar with my morals. As long as Qi Shu said he wanted it, I would give birth to the child even if I fight to death.

But he probably doesn’t want it.