Bestfriend With Benefits

It's morning already?! HOLYCRAP!

I woke up abruptly. I can't sleep until 5 yesterday. I sit up and stare at my digital clock glowing in 09:07, took my phone immediately to check Tiere's text message "12 P.M. flight. Why?" was replied at 6 something in the morning.

Bobby was right.. it happens when I am comfortable by someone's side, I can barely live when she is not around. It doesn't mean I will die, it just.. something lack in this life when she isn't here. Tiere is the only one that stay by my side for all this time, in my either bad or good times, besides of her mysterious disappearance months ago. But ... Yes, Tiere is the only one I need. My heart shattering into pieces ever since she talked about her plan of moving out of town, I can feel her presence is all I want right now. She is the person that creates color into my life. I can feel myself happier when she is around with me for these brief several months. It's too short and I want more.

I slapped my forehead several times, I'm so dumb. I should have woken up earlier. I stood up abruptly, running to the bathroom and begin taking bath.

I texted her before I leave the apartment, "Tiere, please wait up for me. There's something important I need talk to you", but there's no reply from her. I even dial her phone number, still, no answer. What happen? Does she has an earlier flight? DAMN, this is so frustrating. I want to talk to her face to face while confessing my feelings, not from text message or DMs or phone call. Bobby said I should talk to her directly, so I can see her reaction. Or should I take the flight too? But it means I have to wait for another day, NO, I CAN'T HOLD THIS ANYMORE. IT'S TOO SUFFOCATING....

...

"Yes? Hey, it's pretty unusual. You called me for a love life experience? Right, even though I never had a date before, but let's give me a try since I watch Romance –drama a lot in my leisure time. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I am not an otaku anymore. Sometimes I watch Korean Drama too.. hehehehe" he speaks vigorously. "So, what do you want to talk about?" he seems very excited about my love -life.

So I tell him the complete story on my way home, all about it, starting from how Tiere and I meet up for the first time, my dates with Caroline and Tiere. I'm always being so secretive to people, I am a genuine introvert dude, I usually tell Tiere about it but since I am talking about her, it's impossible right?

Then Bobby took a while processing my bedtime story. In a few minutes he starts mumbling, "Ryan.. if I may ask you.."

"Yes.." I blew a harsh breath.

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT" I stopped him from being so pervert. It reminds me of I and Tiere's kiss last time which I almost gone too far, not gonna tell him this part.

Bobby laughed really hard. "Even me, sometimes turned on while watching the actor and actress kissing". I rolled my eyes, weird Bobby. Should I regret sharing this? He's so pointless.

"Okay.. Who do you like the most? When you kiss"

It took a while for me thinking about it, flashing back to the moment when I kiss Tiere and Caroline. I remember how it feels when I kiss Tiere, so heart –warming and tempting, except the first time when she was drunk, the first one is heart -shocking but honestly enjoyable, I can be a jerk sometimes. Her kiss is tickling my stomach, I feel butterflies most of the time when we kiss. When I kiss Caroline, I just feel happy cause finally I got to kiss her, but I don't feel it as intense as I kiss Tiere.

"I think I'm addicted to Tiere, I'd like to do it again and again" I flared my nostrils, "Maybe because I get used to kiss her?" I asked, Bobby is like a doctor to me right now.

"Who do you flutters the most? Between that 2 women?" he made another question which force me to answer with only 1 word.

"Tiere.." I bit my lips, I feel kinda weird talking about it.

"Yes, so that's the first prove" he clarified, "If I ask you... if you can only help one person from drowning in the sea. Who do you save? Tiere or Caroline?"

"Are you kidding me? That's a Middle School Puzzle.. I prefer die with them if I could only save one" I gave him a straightforward answer.

Bobby chortles, began to laugh out loud again, "I was about to test you"

"Stupid test" I hissed.

"Okay, just let me ask you. What if there's a chance for you to choose whether Tiere to leave the town or Caroline to leave the town?"

When Caroline leaves the town for business, whether she'll come back or not, I have nothing to concern about, I feel just ...alright. I don't feel burden in my chest. But when Tiere decided to take the job at Jakarta, whether she could probably come back for a week vacation, I still think of anything stupid to let her stay with me, cause when she's not around, I feel empty.... Deep inside my heart, I'd like to choose Tiere to stay. Maybe because Caroline doesn't use to stay here with me, and we usually hang out like once or twice in a month, so I really get used to it.

"I'd like... Tiere.. to stay.." I muttered under my breath.

Bobby clicked his fingers, "So? You know the answer!"

"Is that because I hang out a lot with her?"

"Now, let me tell you... You love Caroline, she's something in your heart that you've never give up to have. But deep inside your heart, the person you actually need is Tiere, maybe because when you both fake dating. You realized so many things, the fun, the love, the feelings towards her, and you find it awesome dating her. Not because of how many times you guys hang out, come on.... Oh so you'll miss me when I leave you offline? Is that what you are trying to say? Huh?" he talks non –stop "I'm not love –life expert, but at least now you know what to do" he added.

Somehow, what Bobby said was right. At least, now I know what to do, at least I realize that I love her that much, at least I know that she is the person I need in my life. It isn't because we hang out a lot, but because the warmth she gave me, the care, the love she gave me is everything I'd like to have for the rest of my life.

How could I not realize that?

"And.." Bobby added, "Don't you ever think weird. You can't stop Tiere from chasing her dreams. Your mission is to confess, and make her yours, but don't you ever think to force her to stay in Medan"

"Got it" I replied.

I arrive at the airport, my head turns left and right looking for the 5,4 feet tall woman with dark long hair. I lift my arm to check the time, it's only 11 something. There's no way for her to leave earlier, it's impossible. I walk through the hallway, looking for her in the café, shops, or mini –market. I feel the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in my abdomen. Tension grew in my face and limbs, I keep believing myself that Tiere hasn't gone yet. My breathing became more rapid, more shallow. The thoughts are accelerating inside my head. My heart is hammering inside my chest, and I feel uncomfortable.

It was tiring, walking in rush non –stop for 15 minutes. I sat down on the waiting chair, my body was cool down a bit since the chair is made of steel, I adjust my breath and thought, leaning my head on the chair and close my eyes, should I take another flight to catch her up? Tiere, why you didn't reply my text?

For a while, I feel like someone coming over me.

"Darf ich Ihnen helfen, Sir?"

That familiar voice, that familiar accent, my heart beating fast, not because I'm tired, it's because how shock and happy I am at the same time hearing that voice. I opened my eyes and she smiles at me, bend her body a bit to catch my eyes.

"TIERE?"

"Yes, I am" she still smiling. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She's shock "Whoa whoa whoa"

"Tiere! you didn't reply my text!"

"My battery drained, I just got the chance to charge here and then I just..."

"It's okay.. you are here right now" I cut her off, speaking in rush. I looked like a fool.

"Do you feel like wanna cry?" she sneered.

"Yes, I think" I answered, I've been holding this tears all along, it's embarrassing if I cry. I loosened my arm, then she sits beside me.

"What happen? You sound urgent" she frowned, trying to understand me. My heart beats like crazy when I see her, I thought she has left. I was so worried and peeved.

"Tiere.." I hold her shoulders. Her eyes widened, still confused with my behavior. I took a deep breath and begin talking. "Tiere. I know.. I'm stupid, immature, embarrassing, and slow. I know I am not perfect, I know I have a lot of mistakes. But I am so sorry... for what happened before and right now..."

Tiere nods her head without saying anything, she's still confused, but remain calm and waiting for my responses. I don't know what happen to me but I kiss her once on her lips, she's even more startled, her eyes popped up wider and it turns her speechless, but still waiting for me to continue my speech. I just babbling nonsense, giving her some poor explanations "That kiss... isn't a kiss that I'd do for the fake relationship" I said, my heart rate increase, blood runs through my veins. I should be ready for her rejection. "That kiss, is sincere.. from my heart" I continued, now I even sound more pathetic. I think she is going to slap me in the face. I'm so terrible at confessing, should I take some public speaking class to gain my confidence next time? But at least the huge weight has been lifted off my chest, I feel so relieved.

Tiere snorted a laugh over my awful poetry, then she stopped right away "Sorry" she said, feel bad for insulting my speech. "Please continue" she demands more, at some point I feel lucky she didn't slap me, I was too ready for it.

I hold my breath for a second and exhale it "I love you, Tiere"

She quirked her eyebrow waiting for me to continue again, now it looks like a joke to her. "But this isn't a kind of friendship's love, I really do... love you sincerely.. as girlfriend and boyfriend.." the silence is killing me. "the real one" I added.

Tiere was about to say something, but I stop her, "It's okay! you don't need to answer right now. I mean...." I hold my breath for 2 seconds, feel tight all of sudden.

"If I don't love you that way, then we will still remain best friends. Is that what you are going to say?" she read my mind. I froze, but I am ready to listen to her rejection. I throw my face away, stop holding her shoulders, frowned in desperations of shame. She held my hands, then hold my cheek to catch my eyes. "Ryan" I flinched.

"Are you sure you are okay at everything about me?" she smiles, but she's about to tear up, her eyes seems soggy, but I know she is holding it tight, she won't cry in front of me.

I nod my head, "a hundred percent sure" without hesitation.

"I..." she blew a harsh breath. "I did something bad with Calvin, I bet Caroline has ever told you

about it since Calvin is dating her friend"

So she knew about Calvin's new girlfriend?

"Do you remember that time when he came to my apartment? Right before you arrive?"

"Yes" I nod my head.

"That's the moment when he told me to stop loving him, cause he is dating a new woman" she smiles.

"I..I'm so sorry" I said, she held my cheek again, to catch my eyes one more time. "No need to sorry.. cause I've moved on" she smiles.

"Do you think I play with the kisses I did to you?" she asked, "Well, except the drunk kiss" she tucks her hair behind her ear.

"I always hope that kiss is for the real relationship, between me and you" she smiles sheepishly. What? My eyes popped up wide.

"I'm sorry Ryan, I have to keep this for so long from you" she looked down. "I do have a puppy love, and that person is you. You're the person I want to share my life with" Tiere's blushing, it's the blush of roses, that peek of champagne pink. The color infused cheeks dimpled with the blossoming smile and her eyes shone in a way that only deep happiness can bring, it's cute.

I could feel the heat growing in my cheeks too. My heart beats so fast, I wonder she can hear it. My love grows stronger as she took a glance at me, this time I think my heart is going to explode. I can feel the butterflies inside my stomach as they dance happily through Tiere's confession. I want to record and save it in my phone so I could listen to it every day before I go to bed, I must have a very sweet dream every night.

"Tiere.... I love you"

"I love you too, Ryan" she hurried on, with a hotter blush.

"But, I think you have to go now" I said, I just remember she has a flight to catch. Tiere paused, looking at me with an eyebrow lifted "Why? Don't you need me to stay here with you?"

I shook my head, "No, there's no need to stay here with me all day. You are mine now, and we are officially dating. So, just go chase your dream and I'll take some time to visit you there"

Tiere looked at me at the eyes, her eyes widened "Are you serious?" but she is smiling happily. I nod my head, sure enough with my decision, then I pat her head with loves "Just remember to text me, we can do some video calls after works. Okay?"

She gave me a hug, which a simple enough gesture –affection, perhaps the fragile beginnings of love. The arms that held me are soft, yet strong. The feel of her body so close to me soothed more than I had expected.

"Thank you, Ryan" she said.

-THE END-