This thing about me becoming a girl

Nanako Morishita sighed slightly in her heart, but she didn't make a sound to comfort her. After all, she rashly mentioned it, but just tore off the scar again.

With a gentle and bright smile, she took out two exquisitely packaged gift boxes from the drawer.

"General, general, gift~"

Sawamura Mariko looked up at her slowly when she heard the words, she seemed a little puzzled, but she didn't care, then lowered her eyes again and remained silent.

Seeing this, Nanako Morishita didn't mind, and continued to talk like she was complaining or acting like a baby.

"Mo~ Really, I told you last semester not to leave when the sports festival is over. The teacher has a surprise for you, but you didn't even come to the sports festival the next day."

After Sawamura Mari Aoi and Kitajima Crow won the rankings at the sports festival, Nanako Morishita prepared the gifts as promised, or they had already prepared them. Even if they did not get the rankings, she still Will give it to two.

But unexpectedly, neither of these two people participated in the sports festival the next day, so the gift giving was shelved.

Sawamura Mari Aoi couldn't help but become more silent when she heard this.

She remembered the reason why she didn't come to the sports festival the next day.

Because she was disturbed by Uesugi's defection, she naturally didn't have the heart to participate in the next day's sports festival.

And according to the teacher, Bei Dao didn't seem to come either...

Mari Sawamura remembered those things again, and clenched her fists slightly.

Nanako Morishita also noticed her strangeness, but said softly.

"Just kidding~ the gift can be given at any time! Guess what the teacher prepared for you!"

As soon as she finished speaking, she didn't wait for Mari Aoi Sawamura to answer, so she opened the small gift box, took out a woven blue bracelet, and said in a fuss.

"What, it turned out to be the most widely circulated concentric bracelet in colleges and universities recently!"

"Nani! Is that the legendary bracelet that symbolizes friendship, as long as a friend wears a pair, the friendship will last forever!"

"Of course, I specially ordered this for the two sisters, Oshima Saito!"

"My God, are they the good sisters of the founder of the concentric bracelet! It is said that only the concentric bracelets made by them can really bless friendship, and the others are fakes! But there are too many people who ask them to customize , I heard that it has been queued for a few months! How did you do it! "

"Hahaha, don't underestimate me, after all, they are my last class of students."

Nanako Morishita asked and answered herself in surprise and at first glance, asking in surprise for a while and answering proudly for a while, playing two roles, explaining the origin and function of the bracelet clearly.

After she finished speaking, she took Sawamura Mari Aoi's hand and put the bracelet on her hand.

"It's beautiful!" She said admiringly, but then said again.

"There is also a bracelet that belongs to Xiao Beidao. Give it to her in the afternoon."

After she finished speaking, she told Sawamura Mari Aoi: "But you must wear it well and don't lose it. After all, this is the teacher's wish."

She is really looking forward to Kitajima Crow and Sawamura Mari Aoi becoming friends. After all, she feels that their personalities are quite complementary, and they don't like to talk. Although Xiao Mari Aoi is cold, she has always treated her gently in her own way. Others, so it won't touch Xiao Bei Dao's inner sensitivity.

But now, looking at Mari Aoi Sawamura in front of her, Nanako Morishita seemed to see Kitajima Crow who just started last semester.

They are all huge changes that have ushered in a short period of time... Xiao Bei Dao should be caused by some extremely violent stimulation, while Xiao Maru Aoi is caused by the death of her father...

Alas, she sighed inwardly, but she was also more certain of the idea of ​​making the two of them friends.

Aoi Aoi is in a bad state right now...

Maybe the same experience will allow the two to heal each other in contact.

And Mari Aoi Sawamura was silent for a long time after hearing that the other bracelet was for Kitajima Crow.

She communicated with the outside world for the first time in two months, writing it down on a note.

"Mr. Morishita, can you tell me about Bei Dao-san?"

216. Symposium

In the office, the crisp sound of girls playing and walking in the aisle can still be heard here, and the drizzle outside the window is still falling, falling on the glass and sliding down to form a thin rain curtain.

Nanako Morishita was sitting at the desk, looking out of the window from this position, she happened to be able to see the small smoky blue forest swaying slightly in the drizzle in the back garden.

This is a scene she would never miss on rainy days, but today she has no intention of watching it.

Nanako Morishita didn't quite understand what was written on the note paper handed out by Sawamura Mari Aoi, but the person in front of her kept her head down, unable to judge what she was thinking by looking at her eyes.

Want to know about Xiao Bei Dao...

"Which aspect do you want to know?"

She didn't ask why Aoi couldn't explain this kind of question, but wanted to know what she was thinking from her answer.

Sawamura Mari Aoi thought for a moment, then slowly wrote down on the note paper.

"Can you tell me everything Morishita-sensei knows? This may be very important to me."

Looking at the note, Nanako Morishita was thoughtful, what happened that caused Aoi to pay attention to Xiaobei Dao?

But what happened to make Xiaozhen Aoi in this state pay attention?

Could it be... what happened to what happened here and what happened to Xiaoma Aoi now?

Nanako Morishita was thinking, thinking about whether she should tell what she guessed, which she thought was Xiao Bei Dao's privacy and scars, without her own consent.

But looking at the sudden drastic changes in the current picture of Xiaomai Aoi and Xiaobeijima at the beginning of last semester, Nanako Morishita decided to speak out after thinking about it for a long time.

After knowing what happened to Xiao Bei Dao, I felt the feeling of sympathy for each other. Maybe Xiao Mali Aoi would take the initiative to approach Xiao Bei Dao, and then two people in the same situation would always heal each other when they were together.

Little Bei Dao, please forgive the teacher for making such claims, she thought, and then said.

"Little Bei Dao is a very lonely person, in fact, I can't say that, it must be because she wants to put herself in a lonely state.

From the relationship between the teacher and her, I can feel that when she gets along with others, she sets up a boundary marker, does not allow anyone to cross the line, and always looks at the people or things around her from the perspective of a bystander. , without investing any emotion.

So instead of saying that she is lonely, it is better to say that she is actively creating this loneliness. Maybe it will make her feel at ease, maybe it will make her feel less troublesome, but it is all deliberate.

The teacher once thought that she was withdrawn and not good at speaking, so she hoped that she would communicate with her classmates more, otherwise she was afraid that she would suffer in society, but after getting along with her, she found that Xiao Beidao is actually a very smart and delicate person, as long as she thinks about it , can quickly integrate into any group, but she doesn't want to.

At this time, my worries about her not being able to integrate into the group disappeared naturally, but Xiao Beidao's eccentricity is a fact, so I thought of you at this time. I always believe that friendship is enough to change a person. "

Nanako Morishita smiled softly, looked at Mariko Sawamura who bowed her head in front of her and continued talking.

"This is the little Beidao you saw. She is withdrawn, indifferent, and indifferent. She doesn't alienate anyone, doesn't care about anyone, and doesn't pay attention to anyone. She has a very strong heart."

After finishing speaking, Nanako Morishita looked at the thin rain curtain outside the window with a nostalgic expression.

"But you know, these were only produced during half a month of spring break, and she still looked different in the freshman year of high school.

Maybe you have heard of it, but with your personality, you probably don't remember it.

In the first year of high school, I began to pay attention to Xiaobei Dao. At that time, she was like a little animal covered with bruises. The teacher wanted to help her, but she ran away tremblingly every time. Even though I had good intentions, she Still extremely scared, even unable to communicate.

At that time, I knew that her heart was so closed that she couldn't even perceive the goodwill from the outside world.

I found the teacher in the infirmary, and after a lot of twists and turns, I got the case sheet she submitted when she entered school. Looking at a series of mental illnesses, the teacher couldn't empathize with her or think about what she had experienced, but what she could know was, This little girl's heart is full of holes.

Cowardly, timid, extremely low self-esteem, traumatic stress is very serious, a little approach from the outside world will make her think it is malicious, and she will escape or even collapse.

Only when no one pays attention to her and she can immerse herself in one's own small world will it be normal.

Does it sound pitiful?So the teacher wants to help her, and I don't know what I can do, but at least I want her three years of high school to be a memory that she can recall in her spare time in the future.

But even if I worked hard for a year, I never once entered that child's heart, or even communicated with him.

Under such progress, she was promoted to the second grade, and it was only half a month of the spring break, and Xiao Beidao became what you see now.

I didn't even recognize her when I saw her for the first time, it was like a rebirth after everything was completely torn apart. "

She looked at Mari Aoi Sawamura and said something meaningful.

"But this is not a good thing, because only stimulation, and extremely intense stimulation, can make a person undergo such a complete transformation in such a short period of time.

There is no excess, no gradual and sudden changes, only intense stimulation and pain can be caused.

This kind of transformation is of no benefit, even though it makes Xiao Beidao look stronger, but I still think it is a kind of personality transformation, completely tearing up the previous personality, and thus transforming into a new personality.

Because Xiao Bei Dao only became what he is now after committing suicide. "

For some reason, Sawamura Mari Aoi's body trembled violently.

Nanako Morishita continued talking.

"Xiao Bei Dao had already been riddled with holes in her heart before, but she still chose to live. At this time, her bottom line in her heart has actually been pulled very low. If she chooses to commit suicide, it can only prove that she met someone who has suffered so much for her for so many years. The pressure and suffering are ignited together, and the pain that is so intense that it is even unbearable can happen.

So even though I don't know what happened to Xiao Bei Dao, it must have happened during the spring break. The severe pain and stimulation caused her to choose to end her life, but in the end she was rescued by the doctor, so when the pain reached its peak, Xiao Bei The island endured.

It would be terrifying for a person like Xiao Beidao who has accumulated a lot of pressure in his heart to explode, but if Xiao Beidao endured it, he would be doomed to transform into a new personality in the ashes of his collapsed psychology.

To put it simply, after the personality collapses, the new personality is repaired, which is why I say this is not a good thing.

At least in my perception, this kind of person whose personality has been restored due to pain, no matter whether it is good or bad in the end, will bring destruction within a certain range. "

Hearing this, Sawamura Mari Aoi's state was suddenly a little bit wrong, Morishita Nanako also realized it, stopped speaking, and asked worriedly.

"Little Makoto, are you alright?"

Sawamura Mari Aoi didn't reply, just panted heavily.

Spring break... She remembered, remembered that the last day of spring break in the freshman year of high school was the day of the parent conference.

And that day, her father was present in her class.

Sawamura Mari Aoi began to have difficulty breathing, as if her heart was suddenly clenched.

She remembered that after the parent meeting, her father still had something to talk to the teacher, and she left first.

When passing the corner in the corridor, she was hit by a girl who seemed to be running away in a panic.

The girl's thick bangs covered her eyes, she was gloomy, thin, a little hunchbacked, and her body couldn't stop shaking. Mariko Sawamura remembered that she seemed to be a classmate.

At this time, although the girl's eyes were covered by bangs, her pale and thin cheeks were full of tears, her mouth was pursed, and her expression was extremely sad.

She trembled as if she was collapsing and running away, but after knocking down Sawamura Mari Aoi and seeing her face, she stopped for some reason.

Mariko Sawamura looked at her pale cheeks covered with tears, and took out the paper from her bag, but at this moment the girl spoke suddenly, with a voice that sounded like death, regret, and more envy.

"Sensei Aoi, I really envy you."

After she finished speaking, she ran away without looking back, wiping tears while running, her thin back seemed to carry something that Sawamura Mariko couldn't understand.

217. An ordinary day in the North Island apartment