This thing about me becoming a girl

"That's you. I still listen to my father at home."

"It's so nice, a harmonious and happy family~" The young man seemed envious, but his tone was a little disdainful, and then he looked down at the embarrassed man in ragged clothes on the ground.

"Uncle, keep a long memory and don't come next time. This is the advice of the younger generation."

The boy smiled badly, and after saying this, he stopped the shoulder of the girl with heavy makeup and walked into the bar.

Aso Yuto stuck his face sideways on the road with residual sewage, his eyes were distracted and he looked at the young man's back.

The waist is too straight, the head has never been lowered, and he has been looking down at others, and his whole body exudes the sharpness of a newborn calf that dares to break into a tiger's den.

Aso Yuuto looked at this young man with empty eyes, the signboard flashing with neon light was very dazzling, his vision became more and more hazy, and the moment he squinted his eyes, he seemed to see himself when he was young.

"Oh, I remember, I seemed to be like this when I was young... Then when did it start to change? It became what it is now..."

He supported his body vigorously with both hands, and then fell down again. After a few attempts, he stood up with difficulty, his vicissitudes of cheeks, which seemed to be covered with cracks from the years, were haggard and dead.

People passing by all turned around, nodding their noses as if they had encountered something disgusting.

He lowered his head, bent his waist, his chest was covered with disgusting sticky liquid, staggered and wobbled on the street in the middle of the night, and finally disappeared.

Komachi Street is not just a street, but a small area. Except for the middle part which is a lively place full of gray industries, the surrounding area is called the rich and poor Tokyo, the slums of the bustling city.

Because the law and order in Xiaomachi Street is very chaotic, and there are violent groups and other unstable elements all over the place, ordinary people are not willing to approach here. Although civilians are rarely injured, families with conditions still move from the surrounding area one by one for peace of mind. Leave.

More than 20 years have passed since the formation of Komachi Street, and there are few ordinary people living in a small area nearby.

This also attracts another group of people, the down-and-out homeless.

In Japan, it is the yearning of most people to obtain the status of a regular member of a large company, but for various reasons, people who do not obtain the status of a regular member, become short-term contract workers, or become daily wage earners, are regarded as in a sense. The bottom of society.

A small area near Komachi Street is where the so-called lower class are accepted, most of whom are elderly people.

This small area is full of homeless wanderers, cardboard shacks, simple hotels, and garbage, making up this area, as if the dregs of modern civilization were abandoned here.

Those who have no job, no home, and those who have been released after committing a crime do not need to submit identity documents, prepare deposits and guarantors. They only need to spend about 2000 yen a night to get a shelter from the wind and rain.

Naturally a good place for the elderly and the homeless.

There is also a reason why Komachi Street exists so far. Perhaps it is to find a place for these homeless people to stop wandering around in the city.

This is why more and more ordinary people are unwilling to approach this place.

Aso Yuuto's face was numb, and he walked on the late-night road full of garbage in a daze.

It is illegal to litter in Japan, but here is full of garbage that accumulates and emits a pungent smell.

Because the police don't come here.

He walked aimlessly, his eyes were empty and he didn't know what he was thinking, and he didn't stop until he accidentally kicked something and staggered to the ground, then fell to his knees.

Aso Yuuto slowly turned his head, and looked dully at the thing that tripped him.

It was a big cardboard box, inside which was a sleeping old man covered with many old clothes.

Very often, this small area is mostly single men around the age of 60, bankrupts during the bubble economy, or people who cannot work in the company for various reasons, and most of them receive the government's life protection subsidies.

There are also a small number of people who have a criminal history and are not accepted by society, such as Aso Yuuto.

Except these are the people who do drugs or the gray trade, and the criminals who harbor here.

Aso Yuuto fell to the ground, looking at this homeless elderly man, his thoughts diverged.

"Will I be like this in the future... No... It seems that there is no future... So, why did I become like this?"

For some reason, he kept having this question these days.

Why did he become what he is now.

Aso Yuuto couldn't help but think of himself as a young man who was so energetic that year, vowing to enter the underworld and make a big career.

Not afraid of the sky, not kneeling on the ground, showing his sharpness, and the word "righteousness" is at the forefront, and because of this, there are a large number of brothers gathered around him.

Until that day, a member of a violent gang was about to stab his "brother" to death with a knife, and he was already on the way.

When the young Aso Yuuto heard about it, he quickly stopped the member of the gang on the road and stabbed him to death.

It doesn't matter, it's just a few years of imprisonment for my brother. If you don't even help your brother in trouble, then what's the point of being a man.

Brothers and sisters.

The young Yuto Aso thought so, and was imprisoned for nine years.

During this period, no brother came to visit him, and he had no parents. He was imprisoned alone for nine years, and no one came to pick him up until he was released from prison.

It wasn't until the year he was released from prison that Aso Yuuto knew why the member of the violent gang who was stabbed to death by himself went to find his brother with a knife.

Miscarriage caused by his wife being raped by his "brother".

And after he was stabbed to death by himself, his wife also jumped off the building and died in love soon.

Aso Yuuto couldn't describe how he felt when he knew this.

Probably self-blame, regret, breathless, sleepless, heart twitching every moment, more uncomfortable than death.

He went to find the "brother" who stood up for him back then, but learned that he had already been killed by a violent gang seeking revenge.

Yuto Aso staggered to the house of the wife and parents of the member of the gang who was stabbed to death by him, knelt down and begged for forgiveness.

He cried bitterly, kowtowed until his forehead was bloody and bloody, and no one showed up when the ground was covered in blood.

But someone also appeared, and the gang of the man he stabbed to death came to seek revenge on him.

He was beaten and tortured, but he didn't struggle, trying to pay for his sins with death.

Until he had only one breath left, it was heard that a big shot from the Shangui group had saved him after learning about his deeds.

Although the violent group was unhappy, they still stopped because it was what Dajidao said.

But it only saved him.

After Aso Yuuto was thrown on Komachi Street, no one came to ask him again, with an attitude of letting him fend for himself.

The violent group did not give up when they saw the attitude of the mountain ghost group. They always wanted to avenge the members who had been humiliated, but because they were not easy to do it within the scope of the mountain ghost group.

So they can only wait for Aso Yuuto to leave Komachi Street on his own initiative, as long as he leaves one step, they will find a chance to kill him.

Yuuto Aso survived in Komachi Street like this. He didn't know what he was living for. He has been living in Komachi Street for more than ten years. Woke up numbly, and fell asleep numbly.

Even though the gang might have forgotten him, he didn't leave Komachi Street.

He doesn't know where to go other than here.

Aso Yuuto entered a poor environment and a poor two-story apartment building. There was an indescribable stench in the corridor. He came to his room and opened the door and walked in.

The room is very small, less than three square meters. There is only room for a layer of yellowed bedding on the tatami mat, and there are a few hangers hanging on the wires of the window, but there are no other items.

Although the capsule hotel is about the same size, this small room is not so clean, bright and fresh. Instead, the lights are dim and dim, the smell is bad, and there are many messy garbage scattered beside the yellowed bedding. Exudes an unusually depressing atmosphere.

But Yuuto Aso has not lived in such a bad hotel for a long time.

He quit his job in the gray game hall some time ago and has no income.

Aso Yuuto walked into the narrow room, closed the door, did not take off his vomit-stick clothes, and fell down on the stinky bedding.

He was about to fall asleep again numbly, but his hand touched a piece of paper in the damp quilt.

He took it out and took a look.

This is the advanced diagnosis of lung cancer that he received last week.

Yuto Aso was stunned, staring at the list in a daze, not knowing what he was thinking.

After living numbly for so many years, is he finally going to die?

He seemed to feel a little relieved, but he also had some indescribable feelings.

Shallow, unable to grasp, but has been accumulated in my heart.

Yuto Aso sat up slowly, took out a cigarette from the cigarette case, lit it, and put it in his mouth.

He remembered again that he was going to die.

"Are you going to die... I'm finally going to die... So, why did you become what you are now?"

Yuuto Aso thought about how his arrogance had been smoothed out after being in and out of prison over the years, and he was humbly begging for life in front of people in Komachi Street, being scolded, scolded, belittled, and ridiculed, but he still swallowed his anger.

Ah, but it's okay, I'm going to die anyway.

Is that so?

Yuto Aso's pale lips curled up stiffly while he was smoking a cigarette.

Well, I died soon, and I don't know whether to go to heaven or hell.

Probably hell, after all I did such an unforgivable thing.

Thinking about it, other thoughts came to his mind uncontrollably.

By the way, when I was young, what did I want to be when I grow up?

Make a career out of it?become rich?Or become a big shot?

He frowned, what is it?

The soot kept falling on the yellowed quilt, and he was a little puzzled, but that hazy feeling was lingering in his heart, but he couldn't grasp it no matter what.

Recalling the muddy life that anyone could step on in these years, Yuuto Aso suddenly remembered.

When I was a child, I lived in an orphanage by the sea, and I used to yell and swear to the sea and the salty cool sea breeze.

When you grow up, you must never live in a humble way. You must find a few like-minded friends, you must live freely, and you must live a life without regrets!Even if it is death, he must die violently!I will never live in mediocrity!

After shouting these words, the waves rose and fell, as if they were catering to him.

For some reason, Aso Yuuto began to whimper, took off the cigarette butt and covered his mouth tightly, his numb face changed, and tears flowed from the crease-like wrinkles.

His head was lowered against the quilt, and his body was propped up, trembling uncontrollably, and weeping uncontrollably.

Sorry, I couldn't do any of them.

The sea may still be that sea, but Yuuto Aso is no longer that Yuuto Aso.

After more than ten years of humble life, he had long forgotten the vows he made when he was young, but now he suddenly remembered it, combined with the current situation, it caused him extra pain.

Soon to be dead, nothing can be done, no more room to dream.

He didn't know who to resent, his "brother" back then, or his impulsive self.