Confession
Chapter 73: The longer I confess my love to you, the more passive I will be.
The next morning, Xu Zuo woke up from the bed with his eyes open, feeling that the whole figure was thrown into the washing machine, the whole body was drained of water, collapsed and weak.
Sitting on the bedside struggling hard, her throat dried up for a while. When she was about to find water, she caught a glimpse of a plate of anti-fever medicine on the bedside and a glass of water that had already lost its warmth.
Xu Sui's gaze was stunned. She passed out with a high fever last night. She was unconscious and confused, remembering that someone had been taking care of her seriously.
Xu Sui thought about it. Liang Shuang, the one who frequently came to her house recently, picked up the phone and sent her a WeChat voice message:
[Shuangshuang, I was sick last night, were you taking care of me? Thank you for your hard work, I will invite you to dinner another day. 】
After a long time, Liang Shuang returned a voice.
Her tone was a little vague, and she spoke intermittently: "Ah...yes, it's okay, you have a good rest on weekends."
Xu Sui returned an emoticon with Pikachu pinching his face.
At the same time, I am thankful that today is the weekend, and she can have a good rest.
High fever is like this, it comes fast and goes fast. On Monday, Xu Sui went to work in a spirited state.
In the morning, Xu Sui carried a white tote bag, camel wool coat, and stepped on commuter shoes into the hospital office, but unexpectedly found that his colleagues did not sit in the office to do their own thing, but gathered at the front desk one after another. Looking at the computer monitoring that Nurse He is on duty, I don't know what is being discussed.
"Eh, what are you doing?" Xu Sui walked over and asked with a smile.
"For the rest of my life, my Da Puren has actually come to a big star." A doctor answered.
"Um?"
"Yesening, that international supermodel, came to our hospital for surgery and completely covered the VIP suite on the top floor."
"Tsk tsk, celebrities are so rich." Zhao Shuer's tone was envious.
"I heard that she is going to have a breast tumor surgery, and I don't know whose number is called," Nurse He thought for a while and said, "It's not Doctor Xu."
The named Xu Sui had a heartbeat, and she smiled and passed by: "I have been scheduled for surgery in the last half month, and I am not qualified enough. She thinks that she is assigned an expert number, such as Professor Fang, Deputy Dean. Number."
Han Mei said, "Hey, don't tell me, she hung up Professor Fang's account."
Xu Sui raised the corner of his mouth, put his hand on the table and retracted when he was about to leave.
The colleague called her: "Doctor Xu, don't you wonder what the big stars look like?"
Xu Sui glanced back at the surveillance camera. An touring car was leaning on the side of the road. Ye Saining was wearing a long black down jacket. The mask covered her palm-sized face, only revealing a pair of raised amber eyes, even if they were dressed properly. Yan Shi still couldn't hide her graceful and curvy figure.
She looked back and smiled: "Not too curious, because I won't go there anymore. The 24-bed patient should be anxious."
Because Yesenin came to Puren for surgery, Xu Sui was in a daze all morning.
As a result, when the boiling water was poured, it was almost burnt, and the doctor’s signature on the last line of the patient’s case report was also signed incorrectly.
Xu Sui put the pen on the table, leaned his back on the chair, and leaned his head up against the ceiling, feeling bitter and astringent.
But Xu Sui reminded himself that it was nothing. Yesenin couldn't hurt her anymore.
On Wednesday, the weather cleared and the temperature began to warm up for a while.
The leaves of the tiger Piran raised on Xu Sui's desk slowly unfolded in the past few days.
During the lunch break, sunlight folds in through the gaps in the blinds and falls on a corner of the table.
Xu Sui was watering the flowers with a small watering can. The head nurse suddenly knocked on the door, holding a folder in his hand, and said, "Doctor Xu, the patient in the VIP703 ward said that they want to see you."
"703?" Xu Sui put down the spray bottle. She was very sensitive to this number. Just a few days ago, I saw the room number of this ward on the duty table of the nurse's front desk. It was Ye Saining's room.
A glance formed an impression in my mind.
Head Nurse He at the door of Xu Suichong smiled softly: "Okay, I see."
After the head nurse left, Xu Sui took out a tulip in the vase and walked out of the office.
Xu Sui took the elevator to VIP Ward 703, stretched out his hand in his pocket, bent his fingers and buttoned the door.
"Enter." A female voice came from inside.
Xu Sui walked in and saw Ye Sening on the hospital bed and her assistant sitting aside cutting her fruit.
"Yunduo, you go out first." Ye Saining said to the girl.
"Okay, Sister Ningning, what do you want me to do." The assistant put down the apple.
The assistant smiled friendly when passing by Xu Sui, and closed the door incidentally when he went out.
Yesenin was lying on the hospital bed. Because he had just finished the operation, his vitality was severely injured, and the whole person was haggard, his face was pale, and there was no complexion at all.
Xu Sui looked at her and asked, "Is it better?"
Ye Saining suddenly laughed when she watched her. He hadn't seen her for many years, and Xu Sui was still so gentle and good-tempered.
If it were her, she would point to the other person's face and squeeze her hair together and curse you as a stinky bitch.
Robbed my boyfriend, I wish you a good death.
There is no such thing as Xu.
Maybe this is the difference between her and Xu Sui.
So Zhou Jingze is willing to protect her.
Yesenin opened his amber eyes and looked at the person in front of him.
Xu Sui was wearing a white lab coat, thin, with two clavicles like crescents, very thin, and his skin was white and greasy. He had a low ponytail, his lips were pale red, and his eyes were still clear, but there was also a touch of firmness and calmness.
She has two black carbon pens pinned to her right chest, a red ink pen, holding an orange tulip in her hand, and she is bending over and inserting the flowers into the flower basket on the side.
Xu Sui, a quiet girl with few words, turned into an excellent, beautiful, and generous woman.
"You are much more beautiful." Yesening boasted.
"Thank you." Xu Sui lowered his head, earnestly looking for a nice place for Hua.
Suddenly, Yesenin coughed, took pain in his chest, and frowned in pain.
"Actually, I came to you today because I owe you an apology after many years," Ye Saining's voice was a little rusty, and her tone was solemn, saying, "I'm sorry."
Xu Sui's movement of the flowers paused, and he happened to be touched by a rose thorn in the flower basket next to him. There was a tingling pain in his fingertips and blood pouring out.
She did not expect Yesenin to apologize.
"It has passed, and Zhou Jingze is not with me either." Xu Sui raised his eyes and fiddled with the flowers again.
Yesenin shook his head and paused in his tone: "Actually, I should have told you something clearly back then, but I have been abroad and my business is too busy, so the first thing I do when I return to China is to find you and apologize."
"In fact, when you broke up, Zhou Da was hit, and for a long time he was in a state of pain and frustration, especially after he knew that I did it." Yesenin lowered his head and curled his lips to laugh at herself, his tone a little bit painful, "he Immediately sent me back to England."
"He said never to see me again."
"He said that without you, he would find someone to marry him in his life, but he would not marry me either."
Ye Saining knew that Zhou Jingze's words were not angry, so when she really heard it, her whole body broke down. She wanted to ask him to forgive him, but Zhou Jingze was determined to let her learn the lesson.
Yesening still remembers Zhou Jingze's tenderness and unfeeling.
His dark eyebrows were filled with heavy hostility and depression, like a trapped beast, he almost strangled her to death.
At that moment, Ye Saining realized that Zhou Jingze's good feelings for her before might have been a little more admiring and sympathetic than seeing ordinary girls.
Xu Sui is his bottom line.
Yesenin thought she could touch it, but after touching it, she realized that she was wrong, completely wrong.
After Yesenin was sent back to the UK, he thought he was short-lived, and often insisted on sending gifts and writing to him, but he was returned every time.
Until a year later, at Christmas, Yesenin mustered up the courage to call Zhou Jingze, but the phone prompts that there is an empty number.
Yesening woke up like a dream, only to know that he would not forgive her anymore.
Later, Yesenin's career development did not go well. He was very lonely in a foreign country, had no relatives or friends, and suffered from depression.
Yesening really missed Zhou Jingze at that time. She had insomnia in the middle of the night, got up to eat a stable, and then closed her eyes, but still couldn't sleep. The moon outside the window was blurred.
She suddenly broke down and got up from the bed, crying while writing an e-mail to Zhou Jingze, confessing his mistake, saying that she was willing to apologize to Xu Sui, and that she had had a bad life recently and was suffering from depression.
She even fell into the dust. Yesenin wrote in an email: As long as you come to see me, you can let me do anything.
After the mail was sent, it was like a stone sinking into the sea.
Amidst the ups and downs of emotional anxiety, Yesenin looked forward to Zhou Jingze's reply to her emails every day.
Every day when she came back from the hospital, the first thing she did was to check whether the email had received a reply. Until the tenth day, she saw with her own eyes that the status of the email was never read and changed to read.
Zhou Jingze didn't reply, and didn't even look at her at first.
This is a punishment for her.
"When I met Zhou, he was relatively young, and it happened not long before his mother passed away. I was one year older than her and came out of society earlier than him. Something happened at that time. I just happened to take him. That's why he feels that he owes me, that's why he indulges me in everything."
Yesenin's face was pale, and his expression was still painful and unbearable when he recalled this incident.
Because in love, no one wants to admit his failure.
Ye Saining raised his eyes to catch Xu Sui's puzzled expression, and asked, "No, what is it that he hasn't told you yet?"
Xu Sui shook her head. She didn't know what happened to Zhou Jingze. She vaguely remembered sending the wrong text message. She was recognized as Ye Saining, and the two had a misunderstanding. Zhou Jingze apologized, he also had a dark side, and was afraid to let her know.
Yesenin nodded, suddenly a little sour. Although she didn't want to admit it, she still sighed:
"Then he really... loves you miserably."
Xu Sui's pupils shrank, and his heart trembled. Someone told her that for so many years, he still loved her forever.
She suddenly couldn't adapt.
It's like you are trying to get a flower, a flower of your own. Some people are willing to cross the desert, trek through the mountains and rivers, and hold a bunch of flowers in front of you.
Because I like you, I'm not far away.
After coming out of Yesenin's ward, Xu Sui's mood has been depressed.
Suddenly, at this time, Liang Shuang called, Xu Sui clicked to answer, and adjusted his tone of voice: "Hey, what's the matter?"
Liang Shuang's tone was a little embarrassed, he hesitated, and sighed:
"Follow, actually...it was not me who took care of you the day you were sick, it should be Zhou Jingze. He also called me, probably wanting me to take care of you, but I drank too much that night..."
"Then I watched him upset recently. When you sent a message to thank me the next day, I claimed this intention. But after thinking about it, I thought it was not good. Hey, I don’t know what he thinks. Oh, oh oh oh, anyway, I'm sorry, sister."
"Okay, I see, it's okay." Xu Sui said softly.
After hanging up the phone, Xu Sui was thinking, he turned out to be the one who took care of her that day?
In this way, following the logic, during this period of time, it was Zhou Jingze who followed every night for fear of her being in danger.
For a time, her mind was complicated. After knowing these things, I don't know whether to cry or laugh.
In the evening, it happened to be a dinner in the department. After a group of people finished the lobster dinner, they moved to the Flamingo Club.
On the road, Xu Sui sat in the back of the car with his colleague Zhao Shu'er next to him.
Zhao Shuer saw that Xu Sui was in something wrong, and pushed her arm, and asked, "Are you broken in love? Your face is so bad."
Xu Sui pulled out a smile from the corner of his mouth: "It's more complicated than broken love."
"Oh, it's okay, yell out with your throat in a while, we sing in duet together during K song, vent and vent."
"Okay." Xu Sui nodded.
The group of people arrived at the Flamingo Club, and after entering the box, the colleagues immediately liberated their original nature, playing games, singing and singing, all of a sudden.
It was quite fun to come out to sing, and with the noisy atmosphere around, Xu Sui's depressed mood improved somewhat.
After Xu Sui sang a song, the song Zhao Shuer ordered was cut up.
She glanced at a classic duet by Wu Bai and Xu Jiaying-"Passive"
Xu Sui handed her the microphone and jumped off the high stool. As soon as he took a sip of water, someone patted her on the back.
Zhao Shuer handed the microphone over, with an anxious tone: "You sing for me first, I am darling calling."
"Can-"
The microphone was squeezed into Xu Sui's hands. Before she could finish speaking, Zhao Shuer ran out in a hurry.
Xu Sui had to sit on the high stool again and looked at the screen.
In this grand concert, Xu Jiaying immediately let out a hearty laughter as soon as the rhythm came out.
Xu Sui sang slowly to the rhythm. In fact, she was not very familiar with this song. She had heard it and had an impression, but she couldn't remember the words.
Somehow, the more Xu Sui sang to the back, the lower his voice, so he stared at the screen and stopped singing.
The entire KTV echoed with the original singing voice.
The red lights are dim and the surroundings are too noisy. Some people scream because they have won the game, and some people are selling badly because they have lost, and they are reluctant to pay.
The atmosphere is very noisy. Everyone is immersed in the world before their eyes, putting in great enthusiasm and concentration, and no one notices something wrong with Xu Sui.
She sat on a high stool with her back to everyone, listening to the song, her tears fell off guard, drop by drop, her eyelashes and nose were all red.
Xu Jiaying sang with a kind of seeing through everything at the savior concert of the day, still full of young girls' thoughts:
I can stay away from you for a long time,
Do this day by day.
Keep yourself busy can be used as an excuse,
Avoid all the weaknesses that miss you.
I can learn to be indifferent to you,
Why can't learn to confiscate love.
Facing you is the greatest torment to me,
I haven't told you all these years.
The longer I love you, the more passive I will be,
Just because your love has no fixed place.
You make my heart,
Retreat slowly to a corner you can't see.
Xu Sui couldn't bear it anymore, put the microphone aside, and ran out hastily.
Xu Sui belonged to a person who couldn't stop crying easily. She didn't want to cry in front of her colleagues. She ran out just to wash her face after crying in the bathroom to calm herself down.
She didn't know what was wrong with herself.
Maybe she thought of a lot of things. She seemed to be doing well after the breakup for so many years. She never contacted him, and rarely missed him.
Turn yourself into a pupa wrapped in a cocoon.
But for so many years, sometimes when she saw a photo or a high school exercise book late at night, she would suddenly cry.
Nobody knows.
Some people, in a certain corner of their hearts, dare not touch them at all.
Xu Sui kept his head down and walked toward the bathroom, unexpectedly bumping into the warm chest.
"Right -" Xu Sui looked up with tears in his face.
Zhou Jingze was biting a cigarette in his mouth, and his jet-black sharp eyes were staring at her motionlessly.
Seeing that Xu Sui's eyes were red from crying, his heart hurt suddenly, frowned, and his voice was low and deep:
"Why are you crying, who bullied you?"
"No." Xu Sui sniffed.
She lowered her head, with crystal clear tears still on her eyelashes: "I'm going to wash my face."
After that, Xu Sui ran away from him.
Zhou Jingze looked at her back and smiled self-deprecatingly.
Counted it.
Just now, she said three sentences to him in total.
Zhou Jingze walked to the box again, he walked to the door, hesitated again, walked to the end of the corridor and lit a cigarette.
There was playing mahjong inside, three were missing and one, Sheng Nanzhou couldn't wait no matter how he waited, so he went out and slid around.
Sheng Nanzhou found Zhou Jingze in the corridor window, patted him on the shoulder, and said, "Still smoking here? I just came out as if I saw Xu Suiye here. I have a dinner with my colleagues. Why don't you go find her?"
Zhou Jingze wants to say that we have met just now, but this is no different from not seeing each other.
So he didn't say anything, took the cigarette from his mouth, pulled the corner of his mouth, and said slowly:
"Forget it, people don't like me anymore."
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