Destiny or Coincidence?

Abhilash Ponnam

"No. You are not going to say anything to her and it's final" I said with anger in my voice that Omisha was glaring at me in return causing it to raise even more. I wanted to say more but Athira's voice stopped me from saying much and looked at her in confusion.

"Stop it both of you," She said with a loud voice that made both of us stop our argument and look at her in question and confusion. making them both look at my direction. She raised her head that she is determined to everything and came to stand beside us by never averting her eyes from the both of us.

"I want to know about what you were trying to say earlier," she asked looking at Omisha with determined eyes making Omisha glance at my direction with a satisfied look.

Shit, this is not good. Not at all good. I can't let her know about it like this. Especially from Omisha. I wanted to be the one to reveal everything to her. I know that some or the other day i have to explain her everything but never thought that it would be like this that she will learn the truth about me. No, I cannot let this happen.

"Athira, you don't need to listen to whatever she has to say," I said trying to convince her with slight fear in my voice. I hope that she won't grasp on to it even though anyone can easily find out.

I was desperate to take her away from here but the look on her face told me that she wants to know everything now.

"Abhi Please. I want to know about what she has to say" she said with a strong voice that it surprised both of us for a moment. She then turned towards Omisha and asked the question which I was dreading from the moment this topic came.

"Tell me Omisha. I want to listen to everything" she asked looking at her in the eyes with a serious expression on her face indicating that she is ready to listen to everything. I sighed dejectedly and clenched my fists but not out of anger but from nervousness. I am scared to look at her reaction when she learns the truth about me. I was freaking hell inside and I am close to breaking down at any moment now.

"Ok…. I know that you might be thinking that i am taking revenge on you. But trust me, I am helping you out by saying this to her on behalf of you. Because probably you won't ever say to her in the fear of losing her." she said glancing at me. Then I realised that she was referring to me about why she is doing this. Her smile was the one to which I use to feel comfortable because it was from my best friend and it was like she was assuring me that everything will be fine.

I don't know what to think of it anymore. I don't even know if she is truly helping me or trying to make us apart. I wanted to shout at her but at the same time while looking at her assuring smile, I wanted to let her take the lead and explain to Athira about everything. It's so confusing and frightening at the same time that my heart is beating erratically and sweat was forming on my forehead and on my palms.

She slowly started saying everything from the start about how we met, how we became friends, how i had to leave, how i came back again only for her to see with someone else, how I broke down, and how i met her again making my hopes rose again only to break it again.

All the while listening to her, I relished in those moments that tears were pooling on the corner of my eyes and how it pained me to watch her from far away.

When Omisha mentioned that she was regretting doing all of this at the cost of losing our friendship, I had to hold back my emotions from getting melted down because of her teary face and dejected expression. It hurt to see my only best friend like that but still, I can't forgive her that easily.

I always thought that she might be having feelings for my brother since he loves her from long ago. But turned out that she was loving me which shattered my brother's hope and my heart seeing him like that. But still, he behaved strong in front of me as if it didn't affect him and helped me to reunite with my love.

I hate her for making him miserable and spoiling our friendship just because of her selfish decision. I cannot forgive her even though it hurts to see her like this. I can endure it.

I clenched my fists to gather my emotions at the place and took a deep breath while glancing at them to only see that they were hugging each other. I was surprised to see that Athira has forgiven her that easily after everything that she has done to her.

When Omisha glanced my way, i immediately averted my eyes away from her to avoid looking at her in the eyes in fear of melting down.

I wanted to talk to her but no words were coming out of my mouth. I was opening and closing my mouth repeatedly like a fish trying to form a word which was useless because I cannot even utter a word out. Sweat drops were running down my back in fear of losing her and you can see the emotions playing on my face clearly.

"Can we go?" She asked finally after what felt like hours by not looking at me but at the ground. I want to be relieved listening to her talking with me again but the way her words came out with no emotion made my fear a hundred times greater than from what i was feeling a moment ago.

I can feel my heart racing a mile per second like I was running a marathon which was enough proof that everything will be shattered in front of me again. But still, I held on to that little hope which is conveying at the back of my mind that everything will be fine. Like a desperate puppy, I clutched onto that hope praying that everything should be okay.

We went out in silence and got into my car without uttering a word. All the while she didn't even glance at me once making my hope slip away from my hand slowly and created a stabbing pain in my heart. I tried to assure myself that nothing is wrong and maybe she just needs some time to grasp onto everything. But who am I kidding with? even that futile attempt is weak and i know for the best that it's a waste of time. I can feel my heart breaking into pieces one more time with each passing second.

On the way to her home, I tried talking to her in many ways, I wanted to explain to her everything, I want to show her how much I love her, i want to say each and every word that is dying to come out from my mouth, I want to show the love I have for her, i want to say everything and anything to clear every misunderstanding that was making a bridge between us but nothing was coming out of my mouth at the moment in fear. I clenched the steering wheel tightly in my hands to control my desperate cry and concentrated on the road.

When the car came to a halt making her know that we reached her house, she glanced outside to see that we are here and took the purse in her hands and opened the door of her side to get down. I waited and waited for her to say something or even accuse me of something or even fight with me or demand the answers from me. But nothing happened and she gave a cold shoulder to me instead. I tried calling her by her name but she just shook her head in denial and went away without looking back for once.

Maybe….. maybe if she glanced at me, then she would have found out how desperate I was for her, maybe if she saw me, then she would know how much love I have for her in my eyes, maybe if she looked back then she would have seen the tears that were running from my eyes the moment she got down from the car. Maybe…

I scoffed sarcastically because it was always a maybe and never ever it became the real one. I have to always hope for the positive while the exact opposite will happen each and every time.

I wanted to go back of her and wanted to stop her and explain everything but I don't know if she will be able to understand my reasons and my love. And what if even after listening to everything she just rejects me and leaves me standing there breaking down while she goes inside?

All these questions and emotions were running through my mind while got inside the elevator and left leaving me and my heart with unanswered questions.

I drove back to my house and went inside immediately by taking a seat on my couch with a bottle of vodka in my hands.

I don't want to face the fact that she left me again this time after knowing everything and I don't want to face the fact that I might be losing her for good this time.

Instead, I drowned myself with alcohol to numb my pain which is resurfacing my heart with more than ever this time. I don't know if I will be able to face this harsh reality of life which always has done a great job in breaking my heart into a million pieces.

I know that I am relying myself on alcohol to not feel the pain which is not good but I am in no condition to fight my inner battle now.

I don't know how much has settled into my system but I can feel myself going into a deep slumber without pain which is what I needed at the moment.

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It feels like the building is shaking from the earthquake and i laughed noting the fact that even in Bangalore, there can be an earthquake now. What a world comes to an end...

But again it shook making me realise that it's not an earthquake but something or someone was shaking me. Then i realised that i was sleeping and someone was trying to wake me up but I groaned in return feeling a severe headache.

I slightly opened my eyes and immediately flinched back and closed it because of the light.

"Fuck dammit… switch off the light man" i shouted feeling my headache increase due to the light.

"Shut the fuck and get your ass up now" demanded none other than my furious looking brother.

I groaned and tried to open my eyes little by little and finally made it and tried to sit back on my couch with the help of my brother.

"What time is it?" I flinched clutching my head in my hands due to the headache from a hangover. I regret drinking this much because the consequences are very hard to face.

"It's afternoon Abhi. And for your information, you slept through all morning until now. And not even opening the door when I came. I was standing outside from past 20 minutes and when i thought you were not at home, i got to know that you came home at night and didn't go out in the morning from the watchman. It was a good thing that i wanted to check up on you and used the spare key to get inside." He explained while i was sulking on the couch still holding my head in my hands.

"What the hell happened to you Abhi? Why were you drunk ?" He asked the most awaiting question for which I was waiting from the moment he started lecturing me.

I scoffed rewinding the whole night events that had happened and immediately the pain started to come its way making me take hold of my bottle again.

"What the fuck Abhi…" he shouted snatching away the bottle from me and giving me the death glare.

"Give it back brother. I am not in the mood to discuss" i said using my neutral expression not to give anything away. Because I know very well that he can get through me easily.

"No way in hell that I am making you drown yourself in alcohol." He stated looking intimidated which made me back off a little. But I am far from it and I don't want to face reality now. Moreover, all my pain and hurt is converted into anger at present. I don't know if it's on myself or on her.

"I SAID GIVE IT TO ME ADVAITH" I shouted looking at him furiously to which he looked shocked at my outburst but i can see the anger that was bubbling in his eyes.

I tried to snatch it away from him but he pushed me back from taking it.

"Shut up and tell me what happened to you that you are drinking like a damn alcoholic" he spat glaring at me in a fatherly way. I don't know if my father will be like this if he was alive but i cannot say because he is dead. But my brother is doing a great job by playing the role of father for me.

I got furious and stood again in front of him look dead in the eye. I am not backing away this time.

"It's none of your business and give it back dammit" i shouted looking at him with anger in my voice. Then immediately I felt a slap on my cheek making me stumble back a little and look at him in shock by placing a hand on my cheek.

"What the hell is wrong with you man? Why are you behaving like this? You are not going to drown yourself in alcohol like this. I am not going to allow it. You are going to explain to me everything from the start that has happened and the reason for you to behave like this. Am I clear?" He said with a tone of finality that made no room for further arguments. I reluctantly nodded my head in return accepting the defeat.

He placed the bottle on the dining table and came to sit beside me on the sofa and turned towards me.

"Now spill," he said with the same tone making me look at him. But the moment he saw my broken face, all the anger and demand were gone in a fraction of second and replaced with concern and confusion.

"What the hell Abhi…. What happened to you?" He asked, placing a hand on my cheek in concern. That was the last straw holding me until now and with that question, my walls broke with a loud sob making him hold me in his arms to control me.

I immediately started sobbing clutching my brother for dear life in fear of breaking apart if he leaves me to face the situation on my own.

I was scared to face the reality where o know that there will be no more Athira from now on. I was scared to lose her again after all these days. I was scared to see myself shattered and I was scared to face the same pain again but with the double amount this time.

It was like my soul is ripping away from me piece by piece and I can't do anything but sit there and see. I can feel my heart breaking into billions of pieces that no one would be able to repair it this time. I can feel myself drowning in pain and never able to make it to surface again.

I was scared and losing my mind. My heart broke and it felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly in my heart, making it even more horrible.

It was like I want to run far away from all these but i cannot do it because there will be no life without Athira. My soul was in need of Athira and it's tearing apart knowing that it won't happen in this life.

I cried my heart out and sobbed continuously from the bottom of my heart letting all of my emotions, pain, hurt, heartbreak, fear, agony and heartache by holding my brother, like a small child while he was rubbing my back saying that everything will be fine and holding me close to him. 

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Hello everyone,

Here is your awaiting chapter. I hope that you like it. please let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter.

I am sorry for not updating soon. I was busy with my personal life which was hectic. But I am back now and will update few chapters.

please give your feedback on this chapters. will definitely wait for your comments.

Till then... see you....

Love.....

Sprinkle.....