Destiny or Coincidence?

Abhilash Ponnam

Pain… It is just a four-letter word but still, it holds the life and soul of a person in its fingertips making all of us humans dance according to the will of it. If it was a physical pain, then it will recover within a couple of days for sure but what if this pain is not physical but emotional? Then can it be easily recovered within a couple of days as it implied to physical pain? No. Not at all… Because emotional pain deals with the feelings which cannot be cured with some medicines and treatment like physical pain. Feelings are so fragile like a glass that once it got broken then it's impossible to piece them together.

Physical pain is easy to bear compared to the emotional pain. Because, emotions deals with broken hearts, tears, time, memories, loss, hurt and many more which can be a roller coaster ride within itself and cannot be expressed in words. One definitely needs to feel it and experience it with the heart to know how deep the scars are. Even then they might be able to reach until half of it because no one and I mean no one would be able to feel and experience the pain that you are feeling it. It is a feeling like as if someone was crushing your heart with their palm and then repeatedly stabbing it with a needle to let us know and feel how deep the wound is and how many scars it produced in return. It feels like someone was crushing my heart into billions of pieces so that no one or not even myself would be able to pick up those pieces and attach them together. It's like after experiencing all those pain, hurt, tears and heartache there is nothing left but the feeling of emptiness and numbness in my heart.

And then after what felt like an eternity, came a small light of hope in my heart seeing her sitting there opposite to me in the pub laughing and smiling without a care in the world made my empty heart feel with the warmness of her and flutter my weak heart again. It felt like with one smile of her, she can fill my empty heart and soul with all of her smiles making me whole again. But i was scared to let my heart feel this feeling again in fear of breaking apart but again my treacherous heart won at the end making me take a daring step even if it breaks me again emotionally. Because in the end, she is all worth it and there is no life without her in this world. So, I am ready to face this heartache and pain again and again only to just be with her even if it costs my heart.

I was always ready to do anything for her and even now i can do anything for her. I thought that along with the time i might be able to forget about her and love someone else. But how wrong i am and I got to know the moment my eyes captured her once again that my love for her is so deep and one pure thing that no one would be able to replace her in this life. It's like my love has increased multiple times this time if that is even possible. And I was willing to sacrifice my wounded heart for her again in a silver platter even though i know for sure that if this time it breaks then it is irreparable. Because she is all worth it in the end. My love for her is pure and true and i am willing to show her that what is true love means and she needs to be treated like a princess and not some ordinary girl.

I only wanted her to see happy and I want to be part of her life but never ever thought or hoped that she might like me back and it made me the most luckiest person on earth knowing that she might reciprocate my feelings. I know it was just a hope which can be easily crushed but still like a hopeless idiot I was dreaming that one day she might love me back and to just be with her I didn't say the truth out about me and hide it from her in fear of losing her again after all this time when i just got her back.

I was scared of losing her again and was scared of facing my breaking heart. So I became selfish and hid the truth from her. I know it's wrong of me to keep her in the dark but can you blame me? I was waiting for her from the past 15 years and when i just got her, how can I let her go that easily? I was scared that she might run away from the overwhelming emotions in fear of breaking again. Somehow we both are related and was scared of breaking it again. But I am ready to mend her broken heart with my love if she gives me the chance to be in her life. I wanted to be sure before I say every truth about us and how much i love her. Hell, I was scared to even let my true feelings out in fear of losing her. What if she can't handle my depth of emotions for her and runs away from me again? So I wanted to be sure first before I let out my feelings.

But again fate became my enemy and shattered all my hopes and dreams to be with her. I cannot forget her face when she got down from my car. It was like she doesn't want to see my face again which burnt my heart with fire at that moment.

It was like my soul was ripping into the piece by piece with each step she took away from me yesterday leaving me in agony again. All hell broke loose the moment I realised that it might be the last moment I have shared with her and never again it can be the same as of now making my futile heart crush into pieces again leaving it shattered.

This feeling of being lost is something which no one would be able to explain it in words. It's like there is a weight placed in our heart making us sink deep into the ocean of pain that we cannot survive. I thought that what I felt before was not bearable. But much to my surprise, it was so less compared to what I am feeling at present. At that time, there was no hope that one day she might love me back, but today when i got the hope that she might love me back which is making this pain even more hurtful than before.

I don't even know from where all these tears were coming even after crying from last night with only a gap of three to four hours of nap in between. I can feel myself hiccup due to continuous cry that immediately Adi went to the kitchen, leaving me on the couch to get a water bottle.

After sipping the cool water, I became somewhat normal but still was miserable. Adi took a seat in front of me by dragging a chair and was rubbing my back comfortingly to make me control my inner turmoil.

I know that he is having many questions but was restraining himself from asking because of my condition. So I took a deep breath before speaking.

"I know that you are itching to ask me the reason for this," I said pointing out to myself and around me to make a point to which he chuckled by shaking his head making me give a small smile in return.

"Then what are you waiting for?" he asked raising an eyebrow to which I scoffed and started explaining everything to him from the start. I can see that he was controlling his emotions when I have mentioned the name of Omisha but ignored it because i know what exactly he is feeling at the moment.

"Fuck…" he muttered in between when i said that Omisha said everything by ignoring me.

"So, now you can see my state. I don't know if i can live without her bhayya (Brother). She is my life and everything" I said with so much emotion and pain in my voice that tears started pooling in my eyes again. God, fuck this tears.

"Chote please… you need to be strong for both. She is delicate and she might need some time to digest everything," he said coming to sit beside me and keeping a hand on my shoulder by looking into my eyes. I inhaled deeply to control myself from crying again.

"Look into my eyes Abhi," he said making me turn towards him before continuing "Good. Think from her point of view. She thought that you both met at the pub for the first time and got attracted to each other. And even after breaking she trusted her heart with you and started liking you. Then suddenly she gets to know that whatever she was believing up to now was a lie and that you were loving her from childhood." he said stressing each and every word for me to understand clearly. He was explaining to me like he was talking with a kid.

"You know how scared she is to accept the feelings and you wanted it to be slow and steady. So don't lose hope now when you have come this far. Be a little patient and win her ok." he said with hope in his voice that i want to believe each and every word he said. I just nodded my head in acceptance even if i have many questions running through my mind.

"She just needs some time to understand everything that is happening around her. She needs time to understand the depth of your feelings. Keep hope Abhi. I have seen her affection towards you. She will definitely come around. Just hang in there a little longer." he explained looking into my eyes with a kind smile making me feel hope again.

I felt stupid by making a quick conclusion about the situation without even trying to understand it in the first hand. I should have seen it from her perspective before coming to a conclusion. I hope that Adi might be right and she just needs some time to come around.

"I hope you are right Bhai. I can't lose her and that thought itself is eating me alive." I said by placing a hand on my heart where it is painfully tugging.

"Everything will be alright. Trust on your love and on her" he said with an encouraging smile to which I nodded my head in acceptance.

"Ok. I trust on her" I said smiling in return by keeping all of my insecurities, pain, heartbreak and questions at the back of my mind.

"Good. Now, look at yourself. You are stinking. Go and bath. Meanwhile, I will prepare something for you to eat" he said by giving me a disgusted face and shooed me away from the living room to take a bath.

"God. You are so annoying. I hope you know that" I shouted while ascending the stairs that lead to my bedroom and smelled my shirt to check if he is correct.

Yukk... I really am stinking… God… how did he hug me with all this smell? I smiled to myself by thinking of it.

"I know that I am. And that is the reason i am your brother. Now stop being dramatic and get your lazy ass into the bathroom" he shouted making me laugh at his comeback. He and his over attitude mentality.

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I came down after having my bath, feeling refreshed to see that he has prepared khichdi and I ate three-fourths of it feeling satisfied. No wonder he is a great cook.

After eating we chatted for some time but I was not concentrating on anything he was saying because my thoughts again drifted back to Athira. I hope that she is fine and not crying. The thought of her crying is paining my heart and i don't want that.

"Are you even listening to what i am saying?" he asked by slapping on my shoulder making me come out of my thoughts and glance at him in confusion.

"Oh really… Then that's even better because you were not listening to a word i was saying all this while" he said giving me a death glare making me give him an innocent smile in return.

"Sorry. I was thinking about something. What were you saying?" I said looking at him with an apologetic face. He shook his head looking at my tired face.

"Thinking about her again?" he asked guessing to which I nodded my head in acceptance.

"Come. Let's get out of here" he said getting up and dragging me from my seat.

"To where?" I said looking at him in confusion but still going with him.

"The same place of ours," He said simply by closing the door and making a way to the elevator with me on his toe. It's the same place where he took Athira when he first met with her. It was our usual spot from childhood to escape the reality of life.

It immediately brought a smile to my face recalling our time at that place and we both got in his car and he started the engine.

When we reached the place, i immediately sprinted down from the car and went to the clearing where the bench was present by taking a seat on it. I love nature and this place is so special to us. He too came behind me and sat beside me in silence. For sometime we both sat in silence while enjoying nature.

"Do you remember our time from here when we escaped the wrath of our mother?" he asked stilling looking ahead to which I nodded my head smiling.

" Yes, i remember. I broke the cycle of our neighbour and when his brother came asking me, you defended me and punched the both of them in return making our mother angry" It was the most memorable moment of our life where he defended my fault like a big brother he was and both of us faced the wrath of our mother later.

"yes, and then we both ran away from the house escaping our mother and hid here for the rest of the day enjoying ourselves" he continues laughing by remembering our stunt. I too joined him in the laugh.

"And when we reached home finally thinking that she might have slept but only to see her being seated on our bed making us go pale in return. It was hilarious if you ask. Got we were so scared that i took a run to the bathroom and started crying like a kid making our mom melt immediately" I said laughing and he too nodded his head in acceptance while laughing.

"Yes. It was a memorable night indeed" he said after controlling himself and we both started talking about our old days where we played pranks on others and all the stuff we did together. He was older than me but we always used to play together.

Suddenly his phone rang making us interrupt our conversation and took the call for some minutes before he came back and we resumed our chatting. After a long time, it felt like we were gathering all the lost time when we were far away from each other.

It felt good to be back here and to spend time with my brother again. Time ran quickly and it was almost 8.00 pm now. Four hours have passed so quickly with our talking. When I was deep in thought, I heard the sound of the car making me look at the direction of it only to gasp in shock.

Because the person who came out of the car was none other than Athira and she was running towards us in full form making me worry that she might fall which instantly made me get up and go forward towards her in concern.

She immediately jumped on me by hugging me tightly that i was in shock for a fraction of a second before catching hold of her in a tight grip to prevent her from falling. To say that I was in shock would be an understatement. I literally don't know what to feel at the moment. Shock, surprise, questions… many more emotions were running through my mind but I just relished this moment by ignoring everything. Because my Athira is in my arms and that's all that matters to my broken heart at present. I closed my eyes by hugging her even more tightly. 

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Hello everyone,

Here is your awaiting chapter. I hope that you like it. Do let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter.

please don't forget to vote, comment and share it if you like.

Till then... See you...

Love...

Sprinkle....