Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 172

Translator: yun

A gust of wind blew my hair wildly. I wondered if it was because it was too quiet? It felt like only Amor and I were awake as the rest of the world remained asleep.

Ah. Come to think of it, I didn’t manage to tell him that we were in the world of a novel. Time for me to joke about it again with a bitter smile.

“Bro—urgh!”

“Ashley!”

His exclamation sounded far away.

Ah. Ah ah. My head was throbbing uncontrollably and I started convulsing. Ah. This liar. This did hurt. The moon was melting like oil paint dripping down a canvas. I was more worried about the one having a hard time confined to his bed. I wanted to reassure him that I was alright but I couldn’t speak because of the pain. 

“Damn it. Ashley. Can you hear me?  You don’t need to answer me. The cabinet beside you!”

“C-Cabinet…”

“Yes! That’s my medicine cabinet. I’m going to send my vines over to you now so drink the ‘pink’ coloured bottle. I can’t see colours from here that well…”

The moon was getting further away and so was Amor’s voice as the world slowly turned black. As my vision flickered like someone was turning the light switch on and off, medicine was pushed towards me. Using only my sight, I managed to pick out a few bottles from the vines.

Pink… pink… pink…

When only two bottles were left, the pain intensified to the point where I couldn’t control the spit dripping out of my mouth. 

There were two bottles.

In the dark, the two bottles looked similar. One was a pink with red undertones similar to a camellia and the other had purple undertones.

“Urgh.”

For some reason, I could no longer endure the intense pain and just picked one of them up. The moment I took one gulp, though it was just for a moment, there was a flash in my vision.

***

“Did you know? I can also make a concoction that can ‘erase your memories’.”

“My memories?”

“To be more precise, it’s something that erases one of your most unforgettable memories.”

***

When I opened my eyes again, the blue moon welcomed my wake. It didn’t look like a lot of time passed. 

‘The moon seemed to have shifted a little.’

Has it already been an hour? The air that had felt so suffocating just before I fainted had disappeared. An invisible gust of wind blew at my head which had been feeling stuffy.

“… Ashley.”

I wondered why but I felt refreshed as if I had just woken up from some good rest.

“Yes.”

I felt well-rested like I had just woken up from a good night’s sleep. The cold wind blew at my ankles. 

Was the window open? When I glanced at it again, the moon remained shining brightly in the sky. Come to think of it, I had wished upon the moon to grant me a next life without overtime once while I was walking home from overtime. Has this wish come true? Perhaps not.

“Brother. It seems like I’m a little tired.”

I smiled widely at him. 

For some reason, it felt like a part of my mind was completely empty. It didn’t feel like a bad thing. It felt like I had been refreshingly relieved of something. 

“I don’t usually faint because I couldn’t take the pain. Haha, This is my first time fainting.”

It felt as if I was drinking a cold can of beer after opening the doors to my veranda to squat in front of the railings. I felt cool and refreshed. And a little relieved. It was a feeling of bitterness and yet relief. I smiled at the face which had half of it shrouded in darkness. 

“Did I steal your bed? Sorry. But it should be fine since the bed is wide, right?”

Oh dear, his usual harsh expression looked more rigid today. I wondered why. I wondered why when all I did was smile at him prettily and rest well.

“Ashley.”

Thinking about how it was strange of him to call me by my name, I lifted my head.

“Yes. Brother.”

For some reason, he looked confused. He was holding what seemed to be a small bottle which was of the same colour as the one I was drinking just now. 

“…..”

“Brother?’

I got up from the bed. I spotted a vine moving. Was it trying to give me medicine? Another gust of wind blew at his hair that was the colour of the sky. His fluttering hair repeatedly revealed his green eyes before covering them up again. 

I continued sitting on the bed and stared at him for a long time before turning my gaze away from him with a slight smile. 

“Alright. I’ll go away. Stop looking at me like that.”

“…..”

“By the way, the moon is really bright. Did you know?”

“What?’

What should we do tomorrow? Now, I looked up at the moon that has passed me by many times before. 

“I heard that a bright moon means that the weather the day after will be nice. So, it’s going to be sunny tomorrow.”

“…..”

“I like it when it’s sunny.”

I must have danced with the tyrant in the original novel. Wait, I danced with the tyrant in the novel? Ah. I sent him an invitation. I did it thinking that it was the only way to save Rebecca.

But why did it feel as if I had forgotten something. No. I’m sure I’ll remember what it was later. 

I didn’t even drink any alcohol but my head was spinning and stuttering. Suddenly, I felt something poking at my head so I turned around. In front of the wall that had a tapestry draped over it, I spotted something small. When I narrowed my eyes to look at it, I realised that it was a small bottle. And that there were other bottles strewn on the ground alongside it. It was not too difficult to realise that I must have drunk them. 

‘Does that mean that it was because of the medicine that my head feels so refreshed, right?’

I had visited Amor’s room in comfortable clothes. Though it has become a little disheveled now, the clothes I wore were the same. But why did those bottles keep drawing my attention? I patted my body down and scanned it. 

Nothing was out of place but why did I feel so bothered as if I had forgotten some important documents? But that feeling soon disappeared.

Well, alright. Since the weather is going to be nice anyways.

“It’s going to be a great day.”

I smiled brightly at Amor.

“… Alright, Ashley.”

“Yes?’

Amor covered his face with his white, warm and cozy sleeves and rubbed it repeatedly. Then, he opened and closed his mouth as if he was wondering whether or not to speak.

“… It’s nothing.”

His eyes had been covered but his expression looked both pained and joyous. I could only blink, not understanding the reason behind it.

***

At one point, he had been so desperate to forget his pain for just a moment because living was too painful.

Those who were not desperate moved like flowing water.

Amor had wished so when he made it. He had wished for those who had memories they wanted to forget to the point they had wanted to die or actually did. 

“… Alright. Ashley.”

“Yes?”

But, why? For what reason? Was she smiling so happily?

There was no way to know. The smile she had now only proved how much pain she had to go through all this while. 

Was it better for her to forget?

Amor closed his eyes. If she could be comforted by happiness for just a moment…

I…

“… Nothing.”

Amor understood. 

“I have already died 40 times.”

She had lost her memories.

10.5 Amor

“Are you really going?”

Many things had overlapped that day. 

What had been piling up within him and what he had accepted with an embrace so far. He had been unable to sieve them out and they tormented him for a long time. He had remained as well as ever like a statue and yet that day, Amor had chosen to walk down a path he had never chosen before. 

“I’m talking about you leaving the palace. You only have two chances to do so.”

It was a humid night. Because of its unusual humidity, one could even hear the dripping of dew drops despite the fact that it was not yet morning. 

Amor stared at the dazzlingly beautiful bird that was waiting for his answer.

“My prince.”

Perhaps he didn’t want Amor to leave.

“Are you really going to waste it?”

As he sent Hernan’s voice which was mixed with concern down another path, Amor went down one that brought him to a more recent past.

***

Amor had fallen into numerous pitfalls for him to become the person he was now. He had gone through everything under the sun. At the same time, as if he had wanted to rebel, he remained interested in what was happening around him. And sometimes he felt defeated because of it. 

Rumours were circulating that the maids that sent him his meals were always flustered and enjoyed doing it. There were even rumours that he had a bizarre and strange taste for evil and liked the unique vitality of small children. Because they reminded him of green plants.

“I-I-I am Ahn.”

The girl who suddenly appeared in a maid’s uniform had piqued his interest. 

He did think that being visited by someone who was not a maid was interesting but he could easily recognise who she was from her mannerisms and the colour of her eyes. 

‘Is she the princess?’

Because she kind of looked like the woman who was always standing next to the Emperor, Auresia. Interestingly enough, there was something strange in the midst of her eyes of untouched innocence. He could see the boredom usually characteristic of an adult maid. 

Soon after, his interest in her flared up when she brought up Castor’s name. Perhaps it was because he was sick of the greedy humans he had seen so far.

“Please pardon me but please inform me about the Crown Prince.”

He admired her unabashed boldness. 

The desperation he could see from her had confused him.

Castor. He could not tell if that brother of his could hear any of this from outside. But he could use his plants in place of his ears. 

The rumours about him contained both what he actually did and what he had never done. Of course, most of what was being said was true but his actions were spun to be more exaggerated and sensationalised as the rumours spread. And it was also because the Emperor willed it to be so. 

“Castor’s indifference to his reputation has made it impossible to stop the ever-increasing rumours about him.”

That was what Hernan, his aide and his guardian, had said about him.

However, any word about how his brother was a compassionate or a warm person was absolutely not true. 

Other than his occasional smile, he would have a bored expression on his face which seldom changed whenever he met people of lower statuses and he kept his distance from people who could never understand his thoughts. 

In fact, other than for expressing cruelty and being merciless, Castor showed no passion and ambition for anything. 

Throughout the decade Amor knew him for, he had never seen Castor harbouring any desires. He had no desire to be the emperor and no desire to be the successor of such a huge Empire. 

So, unless it was about his brother’s brutality, Amor could hardly read his thoughts. His brother only smiles when he finds something he finds interesting. When that happens, blood is usually spilled.

“My brother…”

His younger sister, whose name he didn’t even know, was interested in Castor. Did that mean that this girl was going to die soon? 

“Alright, I’ll tell you.”

For Amor, he rarely thought of notions as affectionate as ‘brothers’. Because he had lost everything before he could enjoy them. Because someone had taken them from him. 

Nothing was going to change because of the younger sister who suddenly appeared in front of him. She was just the princess whom he had never seen before. 

It was like that at first.