Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin

translator: baumkuchen  editors: serefina, glitterypanda

061 didn’t rush to take Chi Xiaochi to the next world, but rather, brought him to an empty rectangular space. 

He asked, “Do you need a rest?”

Chi Xiaochi, “We can even rest?”

061 said, “After the end of their second world, hosts can choose to rest for a period of time in the transition between worlds to adjust their emotions and properly move on from the last world.”

After all, the hosts he had brought along before had all acted out emotional plays with the scum gongs from each and every world, and exited through suicide every time. Even if it wouldn’t result in serious mental trauma like a forced extrication would, suicide itself was a kind of strong attack on the psyche.

Chi Xiaochi took out his cards and tallied them up.

As he was counting, he asked, “Is there any time limit on this rest period?”

“According to the rules, at most, it can’t exceed fifteen days, and at least…”

Chi Xiaochi held the stack of cards in his palm, letting it disappear into data. “Okay, let’s go.” 

061, “……” ……At least enough time to tally up a deck of cards.

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Chi Xiaochi said, “What’s interesting about this place? If I stay here any longer, I’ll get snow-blindness.”

061 snapped his fingers. 

Instantly, the little room that was only ten metres squared was set into motion.

The space folded into a rectangular shape that opened up like a cardboard box, the ceiling opened, and layer after layer of snow white walls unfolded outwards one by one, extending into infinity.

Like a game updating with a new content pack, scenery began to open up, starting from around them and spreading off into the distance——

A classically decorated cafe, a playground and a shopping mall milling with crowds of people, a park, a gym, all the way to the distant snow-capped mountains and maple leaf forests, all kinds of facilities, literally anything that one could think of, were here. 

Only the spot under Chi Xiaochi’s feet was still a snow-white tile, like a game’s spawn point.

All around him, there were people coming and going, only no one was able to see this space that didn’t exist in any dimension.

061 said, “You can relax here for a bit.” 

Chi Xiaochi looked around, seemingly looking interested, “Can I go anywhere here?”

061 answered, “As long as it’s a place that currently exists in any of the worlds, you can go there.”

Chi Xiaochi asked, “Can you come with me?”

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061 said, “I’d really like to accompany you, but in dimensions unrelated to any tasks, my abilities are weakened to their lowest. I would only be able to preserve the most basic awareness, and even the speaking and seeing systems would be turned off. So when hosts engage in their self-adjusting and relaxation time, most systems would separate from their hosts, staying in their space and waiting for them to come back.” 

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Dea tf rjlv, “Rb cffv. P’w lc j teggs ab ufa yjmx.” 

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He reconfirmed, “You really don’t need a break?”

Chi Xiaochi said, “This way, it saves my time, as well as yours.” 

061 didn’t ask any more questions. With a wave of his hand, once more, the space was quickly drawn into the centre, folded up, and re-folded into a white box of about ten or so square metres.

【System no. 061 requests to be transmitted to the next world】

【Checking transmission privileges】 

【Di, check complete,transmission permissible】

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【Random assignment to a world in progress】

【Di, random assignment complete, initiating transmission to world no. 1983】

When Chi Xiaochi next opened his eyes, he examined his surroundings, then examined the size of his hands and feet. Concisely and forcefully: “Fuck.”

061, “……???”

The scene before them indeed deserved a ‘fuck’.

Chi Xiaochi was trapped in a small, narrow men’s toilet cubicle. The cubicle door and walls were all covered in black singe marks. With one look, you could tell that it had been left by people hiding in here to smoke, casually extinguishing their cigarettes against them. 

Other than that, on the walls were also all kinds of graffiti, certification advertisements, locksmith advertisements, looking for a gay buddy, so-and-so loves such-and-such for a lifetime, so-and-so is a stupid X.

……They’d even spelled stupid wrong. 

The sky outside the window was dark, a chilly breeze blowing rhythmically. From the direction of the light, it should already be the time twilight merged into darkness.

But Chi Xiaochi’s focus was different from 061’s.

He stared at his palms and asked, “About how old is this original host?”

All of the world’s information had yet to be sent over, only basic information was provided to refer to. 061 looked through it, and also ended up sucking in a breath of cold air. “……Currently 11 years old.”

“How old was he when he met the target?” 

“When they met, he was 11. They officially got together when he was 19.”

Chi Xiaochi calculated this eight year time difference that was the same as the eight year long war of resistance against Japan, then said, “Liu-laoshi, have you ever heard of ‘the quick sword cuts through tangled hemp’.” 

061, “……”

Chi Xiaochi, like a travel agent, guided him along patiently and systematically, “With one stab of a knife, the target’s short, yet happy life would be over very quickly. I guarantee it won’t hurt.” 

061, “……” I’m not buying, I’m not buying into this Amway scam. 

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Finding that this Amway of a blitzkrieg, one solution fits all tactic wasn’t going to fly with 061, Chi Xiaochi looked around, saying, “If I’d known earlier that I’d need to stay here for seven years, I wouldn’t have been in such a hurry and had a cup of coffee before coming here.”

061 comforted him, saying, “You don’t have to worry too much about the time……” 

Before 061 could finish speaking, they heard the sound of schadenfreude coupled with the sound of running water rushing into a galvanised lead bucket from outside the cubicle.

Soon, a foot slammed into the door from the outside.

The self-satisfied voice of a child sounded from outside, “Why aren’t you cursing? Gone mute? Where’s that sharp tongue of yours?”  

Chi Xiaochi immediately kicked the door from inside, judging that the toilet door should have something dragged in front of it, blocking it.

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He shot back loudly, “Go die.”

061, “……You’re not going to ask about what’s going on first?”

“What’s there to ask.” Chi Xiaochi rolled his neck from side to side, letting out soft cracks. “……Such unsophisticated campus violence. I’ve played with it for so many years and it’s all the old same stuff.” 

After that, he made a simple estimate of this body’s state of affairs.

The original host seemed to have been practicing sports. He wore a layer of deep black, body-hugging clothes. His four limbs were long and slender, with arms longer than his torso, and both elbows past his waist. However, he wasn’t in the least scrawny, his muscled abdomen both slight and beautiful.

Even though he couldn’t see his face at the moment, thinking about it, it shouldn’t be bad either. 

Chi Xiaochi’s resistance clearly angered the person outside, not to mention the heckling “ohhhs” from his companions outside, who were here to watch the ruckus and ready to make things blow up.

The child taking the lead in causing trouble turned around and ordered the others, “Fill it! Fill that bucket up for me, I’m going to give him a big one.”

Chi Xiaochi stepped onto the toilet and raised his head to watch what was going on outside the cubicle.  

There was a few tens of centimetres of space above and below the cubicle. With the original host’s physical fitness, climbing out wouldn’t be a problem, but if by any chance the people outside had made preparations, a few sticks would be all they needed to stab any attempted escapee back into the prison.

At this time, 061 spoke, “I’ve received this world’s information. I’ll send it to you immediately.”

“You just need to wait a moment.” Chi Xiaochi rolled up his sleeves. “Wait for me to finish taking care of them, then we’ll talk.”

061, “……” 

Chi Xiaochi squatted down and looked out, finding that the mop that was blocking the toilet door was a bare pole, braced against the corner of a raised toilet floor tile.

A moment later, the water sounds stopped.

The bucket filled with water was really very heavy. Under the instructions of the leader, two people picked up the bucket and staggered towards the miniature prison. 

The bucket was too full, so when it was picked up, lot of water directly spilled out onto the ground, splashing onto Chi Xiaochi’s feet.

The leader hooted, “Topple it over! Leave him here to dry, let’s see if he still dares to have a hard mouth?” 

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Chi Xiaochi picked up a plastic toilet brush from the side of the urinal, positioned the side of his body close to the door, and squatted down, keeping his calves straight. 

The water in the bucket had been spilling out continuously. By the time it was lifted near the cubicle, it had already lost a lot of water.

Together, the two people lifted the bucket, shakily reaching the gap above the cubicle.

Chi Xiaochi licked his lips, waiting for his opportunity.

As soon as the galvanised lead bucket appeared above the cubicle, he quickly pulled out the tightly-gripped toilet brush, and made a horizontal sweep towards the mop pole propped up against the door. 

In the instant the wooden pole fell, he speedily hopped onto the toilet. With one hand, he grabbed the edge of the lead bucket that was gradually tilting downwards but had yet to find a suitable angle. At the same time, he lunged forward, hanging himself on the doorframe, using his body’s inertia to firmly push open the already-opened door——

The bucket was pushed over, making one of the children lose his grip. With a splash, water rushed down onto the two’s heads, drenching their faces.

Chi Xiaochi’s upper body was hanging over the cubicle door. Towering above, he quickly identified the leader who had just issued the order. 

He had just lit a cigarette. Before he could even place it in his mouth, he was hit in the face by Chi Xiaochi’s toilet brush.

061, “……” Not bad. This weapon had a lethality of 5, but caused humiliation and mental damage of 10,000.

Chi Xiaochi’s goal was clear, knocking the person over with one push. His positioning was also precise, with a specialised hit to the face.