Earthy Superstar

Loren faced the audience and concluded: "I think I know why we like Li. He is different from all Chinese people. He is a special one! He is straightforward and sharp, even more Western than Westerners. Good. Yes, I saw a live audience wanting to ask a question, you, sir, who do you want to ask a question?"

A bald man with one arm stood up, slightly shy and shy: "I..."

Li Tiezhu: "Aoting?"

Bald head: "Aha! It's Lao Tzu! Do you remember me?"

Li Tiezhu: "Of course I remember you, you are the first man to show his **** in front of me."

Odin: "Really? That's really an honor, if you are interested..."

Li Tiezhu: "No!"

Oting regretfully said: "I just want to ask you, if you encounter zombies, what will you do?"

Li Tiezhu: "Zombie? Of course, first try to see if it tastes good, grab it when it tastes good, and throw it away when it tastes bad."

The audience was stunned.

The host, Loren, tried to be embarrassed. He thought Li Tiezhu didn’t understand what a zombie was: "Hey, Li, a zombie is a mutant monster in the movie, not a small animal..."

Li Tiezhu said to Loren: "I know zombies."

Oting sat down with excitement, and said to the little exploded man next to him: "I'll just say it! I'll just say... His philosophy is the same as ours!"

Loren was speechless and called another audience.

This person is the explosive head next to Oting, Fengchu Camilla. He was a little nervous, holding the thermos cup filled with wolfberry, and struggling to wink his eyes:

"I, I... My name is Camilla. I want to ask Li, if the world is at the end of the world, what animals do you think we need to prepare for labor? Cows, horses, or donkeys, we have to consider their feed and adaptability, etc. ..."

Li Tiezhu: "Does this need to be asked? Of course it is to catch zombies! Put them in shackles and work 24 hours a day, farming, ironing, logging, washing clothes, cooking..."

Loren covers his face, why is it a zombie again?

"Oh!!!"

Camilla's cross-eyed eyes suddenly radiated light, as if opening the door to a new world, oh xi, it's okay! If we domesticate 10,000 obedient zombies at the end of the day, wow...

After sitting down, Camilla and Odin gave a high-five to celebrate, and then murmured again.

"It's like a god! We can't think of such a creative way anyway, or else, our new organization will be called Ain Perapai!"

"Of course! Otherwise, what else can he be called? He was sent by God to guide us. Turn around and get a statue of Li. Although we are not large in number, the procedures must be formal and not to blaspheme Ain Peila..."

"Oh, Shet! What question do you listen to that sissy over there? The help of Eastern culture to Western society? The end is coming, and I still ask this kind of **** question."

"Don't worry about them, this kind of stuff is usually destroyed in the first wave."

"How do you think about the greenhouse effect? ​​What do you ask for such a good opportunity! Why not let me ask."

"He is so sexy, if it weren't for the end of the day, I would even confuse him! What kind of underneath am I..."

"Hey! Sleepy Dragon, you are a blasphemy of faith."

"Sorry Little Phoenix, I just can't help it..."

Camilla took a sip of Chinese wolfberry water and glared at Oting, seeming to have doubts about his piety. Ain Pera brought us light, you want to sleep with him?

Li Tiezhu, who answered the sand sculpture question on the stage, felt a chill inexplicably and soon recovered. He didn't think much, and continued to answer the innocent and playful questions of these grandchildren.

He thought that Odin and Camilla were invincible in the world, but he didn't expect that there would be even more innocent people. Whose generals are these?

"Does China have a moon?"

"Coincidentally, we also have one, which is quite round."

"Does a panda really know Kung Fu? Can you help me get one?"

"They are too hard, I can't get it."

"Why don't Chinese men play football? Obviously your women's teams are so strong?"

"Because the women's team players don't want to change sex."

"Why do the North and South sticks fight? Are they all Chinese? The Chinese government can't control..."

"They are Japanese."

"Why are you called yellow people? I don't think you are yellow at all."

"That's because I was on the show, and after the show, it became pornographic."

"Do you know the GC party?"

"I am, I joined the party three months ago."

"Oh, God! You turned out to be a GC party? Isn't this too cool?"

"Swoosh (Soso)."

"Do you Chinese have black hair by nature?"

"Yes."

"Ah, I thought it was the party's rule that your hair can only be black."

"The Chinese eat everything, can you eat people?"

"Eastern Guangdong people eat Hu Jianren."

"You Chinese, how many people like you who have cultivated to the Nascent Soul Stage? How about the Golden Core Stage?"

"Huh? How did you know?"

"I saw it on the Internet! You have so many immortal cultivators, why don't you send them to rule the world? By the way, I also want to cultivate immortals!"

"This is a state secret, and it will definitely not be leaked."

Zheng Yanzi and Qin Tao were stunned by the questioner, but Li Tiezhu responded fluently. After all, there is no generation gap in IQ, and communication is good. That is a happy harmony.

Happy education is good, you see, how happy these grandchildren are!

Qin Tao looked at Li Tiezhu's eyes full of admiration, the show is more showy than you!

And Li Tiezhu's smile began to gradually become wicked.

Another American asked: "Do you have airplanes in China? The kind that can fly in the sky."

Li Tiezhu: "Is there any such thing? This time we came to the United States. We all swam from the Pacific Ocean. We took two months of dry food to arrive."

Another audience member: "But you obviously can fly with swords."

Li Tiezhu: "You have guessed all this. It's so witty. I can't fool you."

The host, Loren, couldn’t stand it anymore, and blocked the interaction with the audience. He said, “Sorry, I have to interrupt you because of the length of the show. Next, let’s talk about the "Fak Primitives". Thing..."

After chatting for a while, the recording of the show ended.

Li Tiezhu is still reluctant to leave, such a lovely audience is not easy to find. On the contrary, Zheng Yanzi has had enough, and the ghost knows how hard she translates.

Two days later, when the show was broadcast, the ratings were quite high, and many Americans said their stomachs hurt. Part of the jokes came from the hosts and guests, but most of the jokes came from sand sculpture netizens and brain-disabled audiences at the scene.

Soon, the show was also spread back to China, and the debate about whether Li Tiezhu had embarrassed the Chinese came to an end at that time.

After watching the show, everyone said that Li Tiezhu was "winning glory for the country"! Whenever a slightly more normal celebrity goes on this show, he will be at a loss? You can see from the performance of Zheng Yanzi and Qin Tao, but Li Tiezhu can answer the question like a good one, not too cute.

Especially when he fudged the sand sculptures of the American people, Li Tiezhu had no good intentions.

Well, now someone in the country jumped out and said that Li Tiezhu had gone to the U.S. to humiliate the Americans. He was not friendly at all, had no great power at all, and had no quality at all.

Of course more netizens think...Isn't this cool? Is this all scolding?

As a result, there were two extremes. Various big Vs on the collar were known to besiege Li Tiezhu, and the navy followed behind and rushed to the top of the mountain. On the vibrato, there was a burst of likes, forwards and comments for three consecutive times. The central idea-Zhuge Saigao!

After Li Tiezhu finished recording the show, he flew back to China by plane that evening.

After getting off the plane, Tuantuan was surrounded by a group of so-called prostitutes and forced to interview Li Tiezhu.

Li Tiezhu was so sleepy that he reluctantly accepted the interview, but Li Tiezhu was stunned by the questions these species asked. This is a problem that Nima is more sand-sculpted than ordinary Americans. What kind of **** brain came up with?

The boss gave out dog food again, right?

"Excuse me, when you go abroad this time, you beat and cursed people in front of the whole world. Such behavior is discrediting the people of the whole country. What do you think?"

"I hit their people, they gave me money to record the show, and the audience even sent me to the airport. Go and ask the American people what they think of the idiots I hit! Heartbeat? Remember Brother Meng , And will never accept their interviews in the future."

"Li Tiezhu, if you sell the show to a foreign country, do you want to settle down in the U.S. with a green card? Do you think the air in the U.S. is sweeter?"

"I have a rural household registration and have a homestead, don't you understand? Southern Weekend, remember Brother Meng!"

"When you were in the U.S., you openly claimed on the program that China has eunuchs and that China can eat people, and you are a GC party. What do you want to explain? Are you maliciously discrediting China? How much money did the U.S. people give you? Are you worthy of being born and raising your motherland?"

Li Tiezhu scratched his head straight: "Are you so worthy of the motherland where you raised you? Next one."

Another female reporter asked: "Why do you claim that Chinese people eat offal? Don't you know that this will make Crooked Nuts hate us even more?"

Li Tiezhu: "We are the 1.4 billion people in the country who drink Northwest Wind. People will also say that you affect the circulation of ocean currents. Next!"

"It is said that you spent a good night with a blonde foreign girl in the United States. Is there such a thing? Does Shochiku know?"

"She doesn't know, and I don't know."

Zhang Xiaomeng dragged Li Tiezhu and told him to leave the airport as soon as possible. There was no need to pester these well-prepared prostitutes. But Li Tiezhu is so strong, after breaking away from Zhang Xiaomeng, he slams in place, sticking in his waist:

"Next!"

"Why do you want to record a variety show that caters to crooked nuts? Isn't the domestic market not enough to make money? Or ~www.readwn.com~ you just want to please crooked nuts?"

"You'd better go ask those who were beaten by me, and see if they like to please me. Are there any other questions? What are you going to do? The reporter of the old wave, you are very brave, tell me, you What do you want to ask."

"Why should the Americans ask you to record the show and give you a high notification fee? Is there any secret in this?"

"Quietly telling you, they didn't actually invite me to the show, they invited me... to dance salsa!"

"what?"

Li Tiezhu looked around, thinking that the United States would be enough for the demons to dance around, but he didn't expect to encounter even more miraculous things when he returned to his country.

He sneered and asked Qin Tao, "Have you all been photographed?"

Qin Tao raised his phone: "It's done, now it's shaking tones?"

(Today is a special day, let’s just say: the mountains and rivers are in good condition, the dragon is in the sky!)