Ex-boyfriend

Chapter 20

　　Xu Yue was expressionless when he nodded and said, “Yeah.”

　　That could be considered as a greeting.

　　Chu Yi sat down beside him. Those who were playing cards with him before invited him for another round, but Chu Yi waved his hand and said, “I won’t play anymore.”

　　He lowered his head and played with the lighter he had picked up. While pretending to be nonchalant, he asked casually, “How are you? “

　　Xu Yue gave a perfunctory reply, “Fine.”

　　”I heard that your current job is pretty good.”

　　”It’s nothing special.”

　　”Are you married?”

　　Actually, Chu Yi had noticed that Xu Yue’s left ring finger was empty. Still, he put on an act and asked. Sure enough, he heard Xu Yue answer, “No.”

　　The corners of Chu Yi’s mouth curled into a smile.  He asked, “Then, are you seeing anyone?”

　　Xu Yue did not answer him immediately. Instead he turned his gaze towards Chu Yi in scrutiny, looked him up and down.

　　Chu Yi was not afraid of his gaze. Instead he was rather afraid that Xu Yue would not sparing him a glance. He let out laugh and said, “I returned just a few days back.”

　　Xu Yue didn’t take the bait, just gave a faint “Oh”.

　　Chu Yi continued with his efforts. He asked, “Did you receive the postcard I sent you?”

　　Xu Yue replied, “The scenery was very beautiful.”

　　Chu Yi seized the topic that opened and chatted with him about the culture and customs (that he came across) in Africa. And as a matter of course, he completely avoided mentioning that photographer ex-boyfriend of his. That’s all in the past anyway. What’s the point in mentioning? What he wanted then was something thrilling, some no-string attached fun, preferably a one-night stand.

　　Chu Yi was exceptionally eloquent. No matter what he talked about, the conversation would not turn dreary. Halfway through their chat, he blurted out ruefully, “A’Yue, how long has it been since we separated? Seven years? Eight years?”

　　Xu Yue went silent.

　　Chu Yi realized that the atmosphere couldn’t be restored. So, he stopped hiding his real intention. He lit another cigarette and took a long drag. In the lingering smoke, Chu Yi leaned closer to Xu Yue’s ear and said in a voice that only the two of them could hear, “Let’s go have a drink after this is over.”

　　That was explicit enough.

　　Xu Yue raised an eyebrow, finally looked at Chu Yi seriously and asked an unexpected question, “What is my job?”

　　”Huh?”

　　”Didn’t you hear about my job? Don’t you know what I’m doing?”

　　At that time, the song from the speaker switched to a fast-paced one. Its energy and fervor made Chu Yi feel dizzy.  The booming sound echoed in his ear. When he opened his mouth, he couldn’t utter a word.

　　Xu Yue looked at him, smiled, and concluded, “You really don’t know.”

　　It was his first smile that night. He was already very handsome. When he was not smiling, he was frosty. But when he smiled, it was like all that ice and snow had thawed instantly, like a vernal breeze blowing through a threshold.

　　Chu Yi felt a tug at his heartstrings. Before he could defend himself, Xu Yue spoke, “I’m sorry, I’m not used to the smell of cigarettes. I’ll leave. Excuse me.”

　　After saying that, he got up and left.

　　Chu Yi sat there stunned, until the cigarette burned his fingers, bringing him back to his senses. Did Xu Yue… just reject him?

　　Chu Yi’s eyes chased after Xu Yue as he walked around the box, greeted few other people, and finally found a place to sit down. It so happened that a young woman was sitting next to him. The two started with exchange of pleasantries, and then were swept into chatter and laughter.

　　Chu Yi sat in the farthest corner. The light from the disco strobe above his head flickered erratically, rendering his expression indistinguishable between jovial and irate. The woman who was chatting with Xu Yue looked familiar. Chu Yi couldn’t recall her name but remembered that she was the belle of their class[1]. It was true that she had a pretty face and trim figure. But who knows? Must be maintained through plastic surgery.

　　When that thought crossed his mind, he immediately felt annoyed.

　　What’s wrong with him? Was he being jealous?

　　Jealous over Xu Yue?

　　At the beginning…

　　It was obvious that the two of them were good together. It’s just that, after a while, he just couldn’t stop himself from seeking novelty and ended up playing around, and Xu Yue proposed that they break up.

　　Break up?! Why not! It’s not like he couldn’t live without him or anything!

　　Chu Yi had a bunch of numbers saved in his phone. He just had to dial. All those starlets and models are always on call. Each one of them was kind and beautiful, and they were all good in bed.

　　He didn’t lack a lay at all. What he lacked was…

　　Chu Yi scratched his head irritably.

　　He himself didn’t know what he really wanted.

　　It might not have appeared yet.

　　Or, it might have appeared long back but was missed.

　　A few old classmates came over to with bottles of alcohols and caused a commotion, “Tonight, let’s get smashed before we part. Bottoms up!”

　　Chu Yi only stared at Xu Yue for one second longer. Then turned his head and shouted, “Damn right.”

　　Actually, Chu Yi could handle alcohol quite well. But he was no match for the large group of people who were drinking with him. Initially, he did not refuse anyone who proposed a toast and ended up clinking classes with everyone. By the time they were done, he was three sheets to the wind. He was so discombobulated that he couldn’t tell north from south. Everyone got out of the KTV in groups of twos and threes. Chu Yi’s feet were wobbly and his vision hazy. He looked for Xu Yue in the crowd but couldn’t find him.

　　When Chu Yi stepped outside, he met with a blast of wintry wind. All the alcohol was catching up to him rapidly, and he felt a severe headache.

　　His car was parked opposite. But he was worse for wear and couldn’t drive. He was also too lazy to call someone to pick him up. So he simply stood at the intersection to hail a taxi.

　　It was almost midnight, and there weren’t very many cars on the road. Chu Yi saw a car approaching, with a black body and bright lights.

　　At first, he thought it was a taxi. But after flagging it down, he realized that something was wrong. Wasn’t that car approaching from the wrong direction (on the one-way)?

　　As the car approached, its brilliant headlights blinded Chu Yi, creating halos and glare. Chu Yi raised his hand to block it, and it was only then that he could make out the one who was sitting at the driver’s seat. It was Chen Rui, whom he had dumped a few days ago!

　　Chen Rui’s face was pale, but his eyes were scary black. When his eyes met Chu Yi’s, instead of stepping on the brakes, he accelerated and rushed forward.

　　Chu Yi was shocked, but his body, which was sluggish from intoxication, didn’t have time to respond. He watched dumbfounded as Chen Rui drove over at break-neck speed to run him over. A deluge of thoughts flooded his mind.

　　Had Chen Rui gone crazy?

　　Is he going to die?

　　Where’s Xu Yue?

　　The next moment, he was hauled by his arm and pushed aside.

　　Chu Yi fell in a heap on the ground, and there was an ear-piercing sound of crash in his ears.

　　Bang!

　　It was as though the whole world came to a screeching stop at this moment —

　　Chu Yi was sitting in the corridor outside the emergency room covered in blood. From time to time, passers-by glanced at him, but Chu Yi didn’t care and kept looking down at his hand.

　　His hands were covered in blood too.

　　But it wasn’t his own. He was unscathed. At most, he had scratched some skin. As for the man lying in the emergency room…

　　Chu Yi wasn’t fully sober yet, and his head ached with a dull pain. After that crash, his soul seemed to have left his body. Everything that happened afterwards seemed surreal. He couldn’t even remember how he got to the hospital.

　　Did someone call an ambulance?

　　Someone probably did. After all, there was so much blood.

　　Chu Yi’s eyes were still blood red, and everything he saw was tinged with red.

　　He saw a pair of shoes enter his field of vision.

　　Brown leather shoes, very well made.

　　Chu Yi slowly raised his head and saw that it was his brother Chu Yu. Chu Yu wore a trim suit and tie. In the middle of the night, he dressed as though he was going to an international conference.

　　Chu Yi called out, “Brother…”

　　Chu Yu dipped his head and said, “The police have started investigation. Chen Rui owed gambling debts. He was hard-pressed by debt-collectors. He was at an impasse, so he came to you, to bring you down with him.”

　　“Why me?”

　　”Who knows? Maybe he thought you could save him, but to no avail.”

　　Chu Yi muttered, “So, this was an avoidable disaster?”

　　Chu Yu didn’t say anything.

　　At that time, the door of the emergency room opened, and a doctor wearing a mask came out. Chu Yi wanted to go over and inquire about the situation, but his legs were weak and when he tried to stand up, he fell right back.

　　Chu Yu held his shoulder and said, “I’ll go ask.”

　　Having said that, he walked over to talk to the doctor.

　　The two spoke in a low voice. Even though the words entered Chu Yi’s ears, he couldn’t make sense of them. After a while, Chu Yu walked back.

　　Chu Yi asked, “How is he?”

　　”That person has passed away.” Chu Yu answered succinctly, “They couldn’t rescue him.”

　　Chu Yi said blankly, “Oh.”

　　In fact, it was expected, Chen Rui had rammed into Xu Yue. Chen Rui hadn’t even tried to brake the car.

　　Of course, the purpose was to take his life.

　　But he was still alive.

　　Chu Yu patted him on the shoulder and said, “Don’t worry. I will deal with the rest.”

　　How exactly could someone deal with such a situation? By spending money, of course. There was nothing in this world that money couldn’t solve. Anyway, his life is more precious than others’.

　　He’s still alive, which was great.

　　But Chu Yi’s heart was empty. He didn’t have the kind of happiness that one would have after being given a new lease in life.

　　Chu Yu went to fulfill some formalities. When he returned, he brought with him a labelled bag, that held Xu Yue’s personal belongings.

　　Chu Yi took it over and looked through them. There were only a few simple things inside: car keys, wallet and a mobile phone. He still didn’t understand why Xu Yue had pushed him away at that time. Did he know that he might die?

　　He was already dead, and Chu Yi would never know the answer.

　　Even though, the collision was fatal, Xu Yue’s phone had survived. Chu Yi tried to turn it on. He stared blankly when it asked for the password, and then entered his own birthday, only to hear a “click” as the phone unlocked. His wild guess turned out to be right.

　　But… why?

　　Chu Yi has too many questions, but he could only search for the answers by himself.

　　He flipped through Xu Yue’s phone and found that the content on the mobile phone was awfully simple, and everything was very well-organized. Most of his messages were texts related to work, mixed with occasional chats with his family.

　　It was only after Chu Yi had finished reading through that he find out that, after graduation, Xu Yue had started a foreign trade company, with his friends.

　　He then glanced through the gallery.  There wasn’t much in there. Some photos of rare landscapes and vistas that were taken when on a business trip.

　　This guy was… as rigid and boring as ever.

　　Why would such a person die trying to save him?

　　It was only then that Chu Yi finally realized that Xu Yue had died silently. He did not leave behind any last words… All that was left behind was the unsightly appearance of being blood-soaked.

　　Chu Yi skimmed through the gallery quickly. When he reached the bottom, a special photo caught his eye. It was photo of a photo. The original photo had yellowed. It was torn apart and then taped together again. The person in the photo… turned out to be Chu Yi.

　　Chu Yi couldn’t remember when that photo was taken. In the photo, he was wearing his high school uniform and was sleeping on the table. The sun was setting outside the window. Its golden rays danced upon his visage. His long eyelashes cast mottled shadows, which looked so gentle that it was breath-taking.

　　Chu Yi caught a glimpse of a line at the lower right corner of the photo. The penmanship was exquisite and dignified. It was Xu Yue’s handwriting.

　　He zoomed in to get a better look, and his gaze congealed on spot.

　　Xu Yue had only written three words in total.

　　— I love you.

[1] 班花 (bānhuā) Literally: “flower of the class” – the most beautiful girl in a class.