Ex-boyfriend

Chapter 21

“Can you imagine that feeling? What I have been pursuing all my life used to be at my fingertips, but by the time I realized that, it was lost forever.”

　　At three o’clock that afternoon, Chu Yi was sitting with his feet cocked on the sofa in the living room of Xu Yue’s house, sipping coffee. His posture was languid and lackadaisical, as though he was merely telling a tale.

　　Xu Yue waited for a long time before asking, “What happened after that?”

　“After that, things were relatively simple. A dark, drunken, debauched life. Anyway, not much different from usual. Then one day, the foreign research laboratory that my brother was funding, the one that studies wormholes, suddenly made substantial progress. They believed that time travel was achievable, but the technical means were not mature yet. They were looking for a group of volunteers.”

　“So, you became one of the volunteers?”

　“Life without a goal was too boring. Since there was a chance to redeem the past, why won’t I take a gamble?”

　　Xu Yue finally understood the cause and effect. He nodded and said, “That phone…”

　“As you guessed.” Chu Yi said and handed over the phone.

　　It was the same model as Xu Yue’s, but older — Xu Yue knew why. He entered the password, unlocked the phone and looked at it. Apart from changing the phone card, he did not change anything. Of course, that photo was still there. In it, Chu Yi’s eyes were shut. He was fast asleep. Rays of the setting sun were lingering on him, and time seemed to have frozen.

　　There was a pang of pain in Xu Yue’s heart.

　　The Chu Yi, whom he once loved, and perhaps still loves, was actually already dead. And the one sitting in front of him was just…

Xu Yue didn’t know how to describe him.

　　He handed the phone back and asked, “So, you really did kill someone?”

　　Chu Yi shrugged and said, “Didn’t you find out about the corpse?”

　“Why kill him?”

　“I came back to find you. I must have an identity. If two Chu Yi’s show up at the same time, wouldn’t I be discovered immediately?”

　“When did it happen?”

　“The day before I came to see you. I remembered that after getting off the plane, I had gone to the ancestral home. I calculated the time and waited at the flower garden in advance, and then I did it.”

　　Xu Yue remembered how Chu Yi had whined at the beginning about how difficult it was for him to return. He thought it was just some meaningless flirting. He never expected it to be true. But it was just too ironic that the one who came back to find him after crossing time and space, had then killed his beloved[1].

　“You think Chen Rui was crazy. In my opinion, you are the one who is crazy.”

　　Chu Yi’s face fell. He put down the coffee he was holding, slowly stood up from the sofa, and said, “A’Yue, everything I do is for you.”

　　Xu Yue sat still, and said, “Was it really for me? Or was it to satisfy yourself? Just because someone stepped in to rescue you from danger, you fancied yourself to have fallen in love with him, to the extend of being absurd enough to try and change the past – actually, it’s all for yourself. You were just trying to be self-righteous. You think the whole world should revolve around you. Once something or someone goes out of your control, you have to find a way to turn it around. In fact, you always loved yourself the most.”

　　The more Xu Yue said, the uglier Chu Yi’s face became, but he didn’t refute. He just whispered to himself, “If I didn’t kill him, you will be the one who died.”

　　Xu Yue’s heart jumped suddenly. He asked, “What do you mean?”

　　Chu Yi looked at him intently for a moment, then suddenly let out a frivolous laughter. He said, “Anyway, I have killed him, and you already know what happened afterwards. You can choose what to do next. You could live the rest of our lives with me, or… you could get the police to catch me?”

　　Catch him?

　　After catching him, how would they convict him?

　　Chu Yi was so confident and fearless. He must have already taken all possible countermeasures.

　　Fortunately, that problem wasn’t his to worry about. Xu Yue said, “Your brother asked me for the address. I have already sent him the location. I think he will be here soon. Let him answer this multiple-choice question.”

　　After that, he stood up and went out without looking back.

　”A’Yue!”

　　Chu Yi yelled and hurried to catch up.

　　The stairs of the old house were cramped, and Xu Yue walked very fast and did not let him draw level. When he got downstairs, Xu Yue was taken aback. There were three luxury cars parked in his neighborhood. They were all black, and I couldn’t see who was sitting in the car, but Xu Yue knew the man smoking by the door.

　　It’s Chu Yi’s brother.

　　He had arrived long ago, and for some reason, he had been waiting downstairs.

　　Chu Yu still wore a suit and tie; only his hair was a little messy. He smiled and nodded at Xu Yue. His eyes stopped at Chu Yi who came running out behind him.

　　The mood at that time, a complex blend of love and hate, was hard to describe.

　　After seeing him, Chu Yi couldn’t help slowing down. He called out, “Brother…”

　　Chu Yu didn’t answer, just extinguished the cigarette that he held, and then waved.

　　Immediately two bodyguards in black suits got out of the car, flanked Chu Yi and led him forward. Chu Yi struggled, and yelped in surprise, “Brother, what are you doing?”

　　Chu Yu waved his hand and said, “We’ll talk about it when we are home.”

　　Chu Yi turned to look at Xu Yue, “A’Yue …”

　　Xu Yue looked on passively, like a bystander.

　　Of course, Chu Yi was no match for the bodyguards. He was swiftly stuffed into the car. His voice came from the car, albeit dull, as he stubbornly called out to Xu Yue.

　　Chu Yu took a step forward, blocking Xu Yue’s vision, and said, “Mr. Xu, we have troubled you. I will take care of the rest.”

　　Xu Yue didn’t ask what he planned to do. After all, he was Chu Yi’s family. And what was his relationship?

　　He and Chu Yi had broken up seven years ago.

　　Chu Yu acted decisively. After saying goodbye to Xu Yue, he followed suit and got into the car.

　　The car left behind a trail of dust.

　　It had been sunny in the afternoon. Now though, it was drizzling steadily.

　　 The rain was not heavy. Xu Yue didn’t bother with an umbrella and walked slowly along the deserted streets. Once in every while, one or two pedestrians would rush through the street. Some of them glanced at Xu Yue. He ignored them and continued walking slowly, his hands in his pockets.

　　He remembered that, just a few days ago, he had walked down that road with Chu Yi. Further forward was his alma mater. There was a swing on the open ground behind the playground. It was rusty. At that time, it was rain-drenched, dangling alone, just like the heart in his chest.

　　On New Year’s Eve, Chu Yi stood under the warm sun, smiled and stretched out his hand to him. He had said, “Let’s hold hands.”

　　He had led him by his hand then.

　　But now he knows that he had been leading the wrong person.

[1] 挚爱 (Zhì’ài) – literally ‘true love’