Ferocious Dog of Old

These two brothers were purposefully teasing the little block of wood—trying to tease him into smiling, into playing.

Chi Ku looked at Tao Huainan flopped onto the bed, babbling nonsense, and headed over with the clothes. Tao Huainan refused to sit up, laying there and repeatedly going please please please please pleaseeee. 

Chi Ku caught his randomly moving hand. “Sit up.”

Tao Huainan intentionally disobeyed, flipping here and there on the bed.

Not wanting to bother with him anymore, Chi Ku turned around to leave. His hand was just about to be taken away when Tao Huainan’s two hands clutched it, and he chortled, “Hehehe, I’m sitting up, I’m sitting up.”

Once his clothes were off, Chi Ku pushed the new clothes over his head. Tao Huainan’s hair was all askew, and he didn’t even know the clothes had messed up his hair.

Tao Xiaodong glanced into their room after he finished changing his own clothes; he saw Chi Ku impatiently changing Tao Huainan’s pants, and Tao Huainan still hadn’t stopped, his mouth babbling and chattering away.

That meant he was finally familiar with Chi Ku—Tao Huainan would only be like this in front of people he was close to. He was quiet and docile in front of strangers. Tao Xiaodong reprimanded him once, telling him to quiet down.

Tao Huainan let out an ‘ah’ and then stopped fussing.

–

Tao Xiaodong was a tattoo artist, and he had his own personal studio. He wasn’t able to stay with them when he was working, and so Tao Huainan started to cling to Chi Ku again. 

His older brother worked very hard; there was no such thing as day and night once he started working, and he still hadn’t finished by the time it was late at night. Tao Huainan didn’t fuss, and he lay on the sofa by himself once he got sleepy. His ears were filled by the buzzing noises of his ge’s tattoo machine, and sometimes he could hear his brother speaking with his clients. He felt very secure this way—his brother was nearby, and his leg was also able to touch Chi Ku. 

Chi Ku later fell asleep while sitting there, his head tilted backwards and curved. The back of his hand was subconsciously resting on Tao Huainan’s ankle. Tao Huainan slept fitfully, and every time he woke up, he needed to check if Chi Ku was still there; he stretched out a leg, touching around, and after getting annoyed by his constant kicking, Chi Ku ended up just leaving a hand on his body. 

It was already past midnight by the time Tao Xiaodong finished working. The two children were both sleeping deeply. Tao Xiaodong couldn’t carry two sleeping children, so he could only crouch down and softly call out, “Time to go home…”

Chi Ku woke up first. He always slept lightly, the habit having been beaten into him since he was younger—he was used to always being tense.

He blinked open his eyes. Tao Xiaodong was smiling gently and warmly, and his arms were supported on his knees as he crouched in front of the sofa. Chi Ku gazed at him; his eyes always looked mild, and it seemed like he never got angry.

“Time to go home,” Tao Xiaodong repeated in a whisper, with a smile. 

Chi Ku stood up from the sofa, and Tao Xiaodong went to carry Tao Huainan, who grunted something. He could feel it was his brother carrying him, so he stuck his face onto his shoulder, not waking.

Chi Ku followed behind Tao Xiaodong, holding onto Tao Huainan’s shoes.

Tao Xiaodong locked the door; the studio was in a housing complex, on the first floor of a residential building. All of the lights in the complex were off by this time, and there weren’t any street lights either. Carrying Tao Huainan with one hand, Tao Xiaodong reached behind him with the other. “Come.” 

Chi Ku quickly ran two steps and walked closely next to him.

Tao Xiaodong directly reached down and picked up his wrist.

That arm of Chi Ku’s stiffened. He tightly pressed his lips together, feeling that unusually warm temperature around his wrist. 

“Are you scared?” Tao Xiaodong said, smiling. “I’ll carry you if you’re scared.”

Chi Ku replied, head lowered, “No, not scared.”

The dark wasn’t scary. In this world, only people were scary—other than people, there was nothing else worth being afraid of.

“Worried I wouldn’t be able to carry you?” Tao Xiaodong laughed, squeezing his very skinny arm. “You two are so small, picking you guys up would be too easy.” 

Chi Ku didn’t know what to say. The temperature around his arm was almost burning him; he wanted to pull his hand away, the skin currently being touched feeling as if it was covered by goosebumps. He’d never been held like this by another adult man before. Such a large, wide and thick palm wrapped around his wrist—it felt like it could easily snap apart his arm. 

The housing complex was very large, and the car was parked very far away.

In the night with only the light of the moon, Tao Xiaodong slowly and calmly strolled, carrying one child and holding the hand of the other.

“Is he annoying?” Tao Xiaodong continued chatting to Chi Ku.

Chi Ku shook his head. He remembered he couldn’t see him afterwards, so he said, “No.”

“Liar,” Tao Xiaodong chuckled as he shook his own head. “Sometimes even I find him annoying.”

If Tao Huainan heard him say this while he was awake, he’d definitely chuck a fit, definitely retort back, “What did I do!”

But he was sleeping now, so Tao Xiaodong recklessly talked badly about him: “Clingy, petty, easily annoyed.”

Chi Ku didn’t say anything. Tao Xiaodong said to him, “But luckily, we have Xiao Ku now. Or else there would’ve been no way ge could’ve let him go to school.” 

Even though he spoke more than he used to, Chi Ku still didn’t know how to converse back and forth in a usual conversation. 

Tao Xiaodong spoke to him for a while—or rather, he himself spoke for a while. Once they reached the car, he shifted Tao Huainan into the back seat, and when he straightened back up, he touched Chi Ku’s head, who was standing next to him. He pressed down and lightly rocked his head. “Thank you, xiao-di1, for letting ge release a lot of my worries.” 

That one xiao-di got Chi Ku to lift up his head and look at him, and then he tugged an ear.

–

One adult, two small children and one dog.

The family stayed like that for a time. The relationship between the two children appeared to be sometimes good and sometimes bad, but one was an indifferent, rough child with low emotional intelligence while the other was an overly sensitive child. And yet, because the sensitive child was a chatterbox who was always able to talk himself out of things, the two of them might not be close and friendly every day—but arguments never lasted for long.

Every time Tao Huainan got mad, he would forget about it the next day and start to unceasingly call out, “Chi Ku.” 

After Chi Ku stayed with them long enough, he no longer rejected interactions as much as he did before, and his emotions gradually leaked through. But Tao Huainan actually didn’t like that Chi Ku showed his emotions more; in the past, he would only ignore him, but now, he often found him annoying. 

Tao Huainan might not be able to see the expression on his face, but he could hear it in Chi Ku’s voice—he could tell when he was impatient.

“You’re annoyed with me again!” Tao Huainan said in Chi Ku’s direction, after he’d frozen for a few seconds and after Chi Ku had told him to wait in quite an angry tone.

Chi Ku was practicing his Chinese characters in a practice book2. Tao Xiaodong had brought back the textbooks and notebooks for him so that he could read them whenever he was at home. Chi Ku filled up two pages of the Chinese practice book, and Tao Huainan had already called him five times. 

“What do you want?” Chi Ku walked over to stand next to Tao Huainan.

Tao Huainan said, very innocently, “I don’t want anything. I was just calling you.”

“Then play by yourself.” Chi Ku walked away.

Tao Huainan’s feet lingered on Shi Yeye’s back. The dog hadn’t played with him lately either; he was too old. He’d simply rested next to Tao Huainan at the most, occasionally poking him with his nose.

His brother had gone to work. The weather in late autumn was a bit chilly, so Tao Huainan sneezed.

He’d already sat by himself for a whole afternoon. He wanted to sit with Chi Ku, but Chi Ku was ignoring him.

Tao Huainan stroked Shi Yeye’s head, the golden retriever lovingly nipping his hand. He laughed at the sticky and hairy feeling; one lifted his hand while the other bit, and by the time Chi Ku came over, Tao Huainan already didn’t want to play with him all that much anymore. He’d already changed his mind.

Being one way one moment and another the next—Chi Ku was used to it by now.

–

Occasionally, Tao Xiaodong would take Tao Huainan to the hospital to get his eyes checked. Tao Huainan was very scared each time, and he tightly clutched Chi Ku’s hand as the cold equipment circled around his eyes. He’d shiver every time it touched him.

The doctors’ words were always the same. Tao Huainan wouldn’t be upset because of their negative words; his eyes were originally unable to be healed anyway.

They’d taken a leave of absence Monday morning to get Tao Huainan’s eyes checked, and Tao Xiaodong sent them back to school afterwards. 

Tao Huainan’s eyes had been safeguarded very well, and they didn’t continue to worsen, no further complications developing. The doctors all praised his eyes as beautiful. 

His eyes truly were beautiful, unlike many of the children in his class. Some of the children’s eye sockets had atrophied after not being used for so long; other children’s eyes often rolled upwards or constantly quivered. 

In this area, Tao Huainan’s eyes had been kept very well—people weren’t able to tell he was a blind child at first glance.

Blind children were hard to teach. Other than passing on cultural aspects, they also needed to be taught etiquette and manners. Children’s habits were usually learned through observation; blind children couldn’t see, so they would often commit some inappropriate or incorrect actions or behaviours. If they weren’t forced to change those behaviours in the beginning, it would be much harder to change after those behaviours became a habit.

Tao Xiaodong was very strict in this area. Tao Huainan was timid and also very obedient, so if he was told to change something, he would do his best to do it.

–

Tao Huainan pulled his little blanket over himself, getting ready to sleep.

Chi Ku came back from the bathroom, and Tao Huainan called out to him. “Chi Ku.”

Chi Ku came over. Tao Huainan patted his bed. “Sit here for a bit.”

The dorm nanny knew he was clingy, so she didn’t stop them.

Chi Ku sat next to him, and Tao Huainan closed his eyes, preparing to sleep. One hand held onto the pillow cloth between their two beds out of habit, and his other hand was touching Chi Ku’s arm.

After sitting for a bit, Chi Ku suddenly bent over and stared at Tao Huainan.

Tao Huainan didn’t know—but under his eyelids, his eyes were slowly spinning, left to right, back and forth.

Chi Ku opened his mouth. “Asleep yet?”

Tao Huainan blinked open his eyes, saying, “Not yet.”

His eyes were still moving by themselves as he spoke. Chi Ku abruptly reached out a hand and covered his eyes.

“What’re you doing?” Tao Huainan thought Chi Ku was playing with him, and he even grinned in pleasure, catching his hand.

“Don’t move your eyes.” Chi Ku pressed down on his eyes. Tao Huainan’s eyelashes were trembling underneath his palm; Chi Ku repeated again, “Don’t move.”

His voice sounded a bit impatient again, a bit angry.

Tao Huainan docilely squeezed his eyes shut very tightly. He didn’t smile anymore, and he softly asked, “What’s wrong…”

Being mischievous every once in a while, retorting back whenever someone spoke to him—these were all cutely spoiled behaviours to people he was close to. In the end, Tao Huainan was still a timid child, and he was naturally afraid whenever Chi Ku became truly angry. He placed his hand on Chi Ku’s hand and behaved himself, not daring to move.

Chi Ku didn’t answer him, leaving only his hand pressed on Tao Huainan’s eyes until he slowly fell asleep.

–

1 Xiao-di (小弟) is lit. ‘little little brother’. It’s an endearing way of calling someone your little brother.
2 These are books with squares on them, so children can practice their writing. They look like this: 方格本