Ferocious Dog of Old

When Tao Xiaodong came back, Tao Huainan was sleeping against Chi Ku like a little pig. Chi Ku was doing nothing, reclining against the headboard.

“What’s going on?” Tao Xiaodong asked Chi Ku.

Chi Ku pointed his chin at Tao Huainan. “Afternoon nap.”

“I meant you.” Tao Xiaodong gave him the cold milk tea he held. Chi Ku put it aside, not drinking it.

“I’m being a pillow,” said Chi Ku.

Tao Xiaodong didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “He can sleep on his own. Go do whatever you need to do. You look so lifeless.”

“He’ll wake up if I leave.” Chi Ku was used to it. He stuck like a medicinal plaster; he had been that way ever since they were little.

“You’re spoiling him and his bad habits.” Tao Xiaodong patted Tao Huainan’s exposed calf; Tao Huainan huffed twice in his sleep and moved his leg up, pressing it against Chi Ku’s belly.

The pressure against his belly was uncomfortable. Chi Ku pushed his leg back down.

–

Tao Xiaodong didn’t come home last night. This time, he came home to get changed; he needed to go out again tonight.

These past few years were very tiring for him; night and day were one and the same.

When Tao Huainan woke, his older brother was asleep.

As soon as he was awake, Chi Ku quickly sat up and pushed his leg down, saying, “You slept for so long. Let’s see what time you’ll sleep tonight.”

Tao Huainan was in a good mood from his comfortable sleep, answering, “If I can’t sleep, I’ll play with you.”

“I won’t play with you.” Chi Ku handed him the milk tea.

Tao Huainan felt it. The iced milk tea was no longer icy; the warmed condensation on the cup wet his whole hand.

“Ge’s back?”

Chi Ku mhm-ed. “Sit up to drink.”

Tao Huainan sat up, stuck a straw in, and drank a large gulp. It was so good his eyes curved. As he chewed on a pearl, he handed it over to Chi Ku. “It’s not too sweet. Try it.”

“No.” Chi Ku didn’t like these things; he had no love for anything sweet. He angled his head and dodged Tao Huainan’s hand.

“Try one sip.” Tao Huainan still pushed it towards his mouth. “It really isn’t sweet.”

Vexed by his pushiness, Chi Ku forced himself to drink a mouthful.

“It’s so good, why don’t you like it?” Tao Huainan really didn’t understand.

Chi Ku ignored him, going away to read his books. Tao Huainan went to his older brother’s room to lie down for yet another while; his brother was sleeping, and Tao Huainan accompanied him in silence for some time.

–

A cup of milk tea as big as his face, and Tao Huainan was still able to finish it all. He drank this much milk too.

He drank so much his skin was white and soft. Chi Ku was always called a dark kid in comparison.

He was done sleeping and done drinking; Tao Huainan was dragged by Chi Ku to go study.

–

With the both of them now studying in a regular junior high school, it took Tao Huainan a lot of effort as a matter of course.

Chi Ku was already starting to make him revise in advance. Tao Huainan had to memorise a specific amount of vocabulary, literary texts, and general facts every day; if he didn’t, he wasn’t allowed to sleep.

Even so, Tao Huainan was very obedient in this respect. When he was made to study, he never slacked off; when Chi Ku tutored him, he listened very seriously. Only during maths, when he really couldn’t follow, did he interrupt to say he needed to think over it again.

When Tao Xiaodong woke up, he saw the two children with their heads bowed, studying hard.

It was hot; both of them were sweating slightly, a thin layer on their foreheads.

Tao Xiaodong yawned and said, “That’s enough now. It’s so hot, take a break.”

So long as Chi Ku didn’t speak, Tao Huainan didn’t dare move, memorising the last of his vocabulary before saying quietly, “I’m done memorising.”

“Go, then.” Chi Ku finally relaxed.

Tao Huainan put down his book and went to the toilet to look for his brother. His brother was in the middle of washing himself up and getting ready. Tao Huainan stood behind him and touched his back.

“Don’t get too tired,” Tao Huainan said as he put down his hand and leaned against his brother’s back.

“I’m not.” Tao Xiaodong had a toothbrush in his mouth; he tapped against the boy with the back of his other hand. “Don’t worry over nothing.”

–

Gege and Huang-ge had opened another shop, a little bigger in scale. Apart from gege, there were also a few other tattoo artists. Tao Huainan and Chi Ku would go over occasionally; there was a break room there, and they would study or nap in it.

Gege seemed to have made some money, but he had to work too hard for it. Tao Huainan’s heart ached for his brother, not wanting him to fight so hard all the time.

Tao Huainan felt along his brother’s sides, sweeping downward, then asked, “Why do I feel like you’re thinner?”

“Don’t I become thin every summer?” Tao Xiaodong spat his toothpaste and spoke. “It’s hot, I can’t be bothered to eat.”

Tao Huainan had more to say, but he figured that saying it wouldn’t be of much use, so he swallowed it.

–

In his memory, the summers of youth were full of comfortable leisure even in the dry heat. It was the frozen watermelon wafting cold water vapour as it was taken out of the fridge, the glass bottles of bubbling carbonated drinks with straws in them, and the gentle breeze in the evening when the heat dissipated.

Back then, Tao Huainan especially liked summers.

After dinner, Chi Ku would occasionally take him out to the little park for a run; the wind against his body was cool and pleasant. Tao Huainan’s body wasn’t too strong—his immune system was weak. Chi Ku brought him to the park for a run and then a walk around the lake, and even these two rounds took him a lot of effort.

They couldn’t hold hands while running. Tao Huainan had to run by himself. Chi Ku would run ahead of him, and he only had to follow behind. Chi Ku was just as fit as he was when he was little; perhaps because he ran a lot when he was little, the two rounds were like child’s play to him.

When Tao Huainan couldn’t run, he began to misbehave, calling out for Chi Ku a few times; if he was ignored, he would stand in one spot and not move.

Chi Ku turned and saw Tao Huainan walking slowly as he wiped his sweat with the back of his hand.

“Hurry up.” Chi Ku didn’t let him stop.

“I can’t run anymore…” Tao Huainan panted, his chest hurting. “I’m not gonna run anymore.”

“We’ve only gone half a round.” Chi Ku frowned. “Don’t be lazy.”

Tao Huainan usually managed to run one round if he made the effort. Today he had only run half before he said he was tired. Tao Huainan panted as he said, “Did I eat too much today? I really can’t run anymore, I can’t catch my breath.”

He was always full of excuses. Chi Ku didn’t bother with him, continuing to run.

He wasn’t too fast, so Tao Huainan could keep up. But today he really was too tired, he wasn’t lying about it.

He forced himself to keep up for a stretch. His throat and chest both hurt, and his heart was thumping too, a little unhappy with Chi Ku. Chi Ku had always taken care of him ever since they were little, but sometimes he really was too strict. Most of the time, Tao Huainan was obedient, but he was a child after all; sometimes, when he was tired and hurt, he would have his little tantrums.

–

They passed a group of senior citizens singing. By the time Chi Ku realised that Tao Huainan hadn’t kept up, he had long passed them.

When Chi Ku turned and realised that Tao Huainan had disappeared, his brows furrowed.

He ran back the way he came and found Tao Huainan standing on the slope, leaning against a tree, panting haah, haah, his face swollen and red from running. His lower jaw was taut, bearing visible signs of a bad mood.

Chi Ku stood on the slope, about ten metres away from Tao Huainan. He only stood, not making a sound.

Tao Huainan knew he was there. He heard him.

The two stood at an impasse for a while. Tao Huainan wiped the sweat on his head and spoke first. “I really can’t run anymore.”

Chi Ku’s chest rose and sank rapidly as well, his expression terribly dark. Tao Huainan couldn’t see, or else he would certainly have been scared; he was cowardly and afraid of people being angry.

Chi Ku continued not to speak. Tao Huainan stopped leaning against the tree, walking over by himself. Chi Ku stared at him as he walked up. When Tao Huainan’s foot reached the stone path, Chi Ku turned and left.

“What’s with you…” Tao Huainan chased after him with large steps. His temper had yet to subside, but he sensed that Chi Ku was angry, and reached out awkwardly to hold his hand.

Chi Ku raised his hand, not letting him hold it.

“You’re always like this. You just want to walk by yourself.” Tao Huainan frowned, his voice growing louder. “Why do you always want to leave me behind?”

–

This line of his made Chi Ku stop. It seemed he stopped immediately; Tao Huainan didn’t manage to hold back, and knocked into him.

Chi Ku turned to look at him, his gaze furious.

But Tao Huainan couldn’t see his gaze, continuing to speak. “Look after me sometimes, okay? I really couldn’t catch my breath just then, it’s not like I was lying to you.”

Chi Ku told him to “shut up”.

Tao Huainan frowned and replied instantly, “I won’t.”

He was very difficult to deal with when he was being stubborn. Chi Ku was gasping with rage, but he couldn’t say anything. He didn’t like to speak, and he especially disliked speaking when he was angry.

The two teens were fighting angrily by the path; a passing lady gently advised them that friends should talk things out properly, not fight.

Chi Ku turned his face away. Tao Huainan faced the lady and politely thanked her.

Seeing that there seemed to be something wrong with his eyes, the passing lady suddenly felt her heart soften a great deal.

–

By the time the lady left, Tao Huainan had calmed down almost completely.

His temper was always quick to cool, and he never had much pride to worry about around his brother and Chi Ku, so he would seek them out to make up after he calmed down.

He reached out to hold Chi Ku’s hand again and touched his wrist first; just as Chi Ku was about to lift his hand and avoid him, Tao Huainan managed to grab it.

“Come on,” Tao Huainan said, pulling a face. “Let’s make up.”

“Let go.” Chi Ku shook his hand.

“No.” Tao Huainan held on tightly, then said again, “Let’s make up.”

–

“What did you lose your temper for?” Chi Ku’s expression was still dark. He asked Tao Huainan, “Can’t you pick a time and place for your stubbornness?”

“I didn’t lose my temper.” Tao Huainan didn’t agree with him and retorted.

“I turned and you were gone. Did you think that was funny?”

Chi Ku pointed in the direction of the tree, so angry his hand trembled slightly. The rage in his voice frightened Tao Huainan a little. “If you slipped a little, you could’ve fallen into the lake. Were you playing with me to vent?”

As he spoke, his anger rose again. Chi Ku turned to leave.

Tao Huainan ran after him immediately, explaining to him, “I wouldn’t slip, I was very careful.”

“Did you have to go there?” Chi Ku didn’t even want to look at him now. “Did you think it was fun?”

When he was truly angry, Tao Huainan didn’t dare to upset him, holding his hand and saying, “I wasn’t playing, I was just tired.”

“Bull.” Chi Ku’s brow was tightly knit. “If you’re tired, sit down. Don’t you know how?”

“I’d look ugly,” Tao Huainan said in a small voice.

“If you really did fall in the lake then it wouldn’t matter whether you were ugly or not,” Chi Ku said coldly.

“I was just looking for a place to wait for you to come back for me…” The sweat on Tao Huainan’s forehead slid down through his eyelashes, then over his cheek. “Don’t be mad.”