Futile Love

Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Even before the court ladies conveyed the words, Bipaan took off his wooden shoes on the stepping stones and walked inside. As Bipaan was her superior, he could go in without her approval, but it was the unwritten law for him to inform Kyosul first of his arrival before going in. But who could block his way? The chief court lady opened the door quickly and crossed several inside doors to reach Kyosul’s room quickly while the court ladies in the hall turned pale stricken with fear.

As Ohyulje just scolded him, with the warning that he should not ‘express his feelings easily,’ his face was calm as ever. So, the eunuchs and court ladies thought he came because he missed her. When he entered Kyosul’s room finally, he saw her taking off her wig and changing into a nightgown to lie on the bed. Surprised by his sudden and unexpected visit, Kyosul and the nanny looked at him in bewilderment, forgetting to welcome him with greetings.

Bipaan looked at the nanny. “Get out, you!”

“Pardon?”

“I just told you to get out.”

Though he didn’t shout, the nanny felt his voice was pretty harsh. Though she had to help Kyosul take off her wig and do her hair neatly, she couldn’t because of his order. She stepped back out of Kyosul’s.

There were now only Bipaan and Kyosul in the room. Kyosul felt she was already trembling. And she held her right arm with her left while hoping she would stop trembling. He walked up to her and raised herself.

“Your Majesty…”

Her face turned white. Without saying anything, he grabbed her shoulders tightly and pushed her to the bed. As the bed was soft, she didn’t feel any pain. When he gave strength to his hands, though, she frowned.

“Your Majesty…”

“Stop it.”

Tears dropped from her eyes instantly. She wiped tears, but she could do nothing about them. His facial expression reflected in her tears was pretty calm.

She couldn’t read any feelings or sentiment in his face. His grip on her shoulders was tight, but his face was quiet and calm like dawn. Obviously, there was anger in his cold voice, but his facial expression was peaceful.

She was scared beforehand as he suddenly came into her room without any notice and grabbed her. She thought he was angry. Without that, he would not have come to her residence, she thought. She was afraid. She had never faced this kind of man before. When she was curling up her body with fear, he held her by the collar and pulled her toward him. Full of fear, she now saw him face to face up close.

“I already told you clearly that no matter what you did, you should never stand in my way. Did you get it?”

Though he said in a scolding tone, his voice was just plain and common as if he were speaking about the weather.

Too embarrassed to respond, she fixed her scared gaze on him, at a loss for words.

She couldn’t figure out why he suddenly reminded her of that again. Standing in his way? In fact, she was confined to her residence and did nothing these days.

“How come the rumor about you and Prince Ruhae came into the Emperor’s ears? Did you plot with him to spread the rumor?”

“Your Majesty…”

When Bipaan mentioned Prince Ruhae, she turned white with fear. Sensing that she got nervous, Bipaan scolded her more severely. Shaking her head while trying to defend herself, she barely said in a feeble voice, “Rumor? Which rumor? I just don’t understand what you’re talking about…”

What the heck was the rumor about her and Ruhae? She was just dumbfounded at his scolding out of a clear blue sky. She just kept shedding tears as she was trembling in shock. He gazed at her calmly.

She was lying on the bed, with her guard down, and he lay face down on it. After some silence, he turned his mouth up and said, “The rumor has it that you’re having an affair with Ruhae.”

His voice was flat, with no emotion at all, as if he was talking about some business affairs. But the word he used, ‘an affair,’ was something vulgar that she or he could not dare put on their lips.

An affair with Prince Ruhae?

Kyosul opened her eyes with surprise, and strongly balked, “No, that’s not true. I just…”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. The thing is such a rumor came into the Emperor’s ears.”

He responded as if he wasn’t interested in the truth of the rumor, which broke her heart once more. What wounded her heart was not his sharp response, but the atmosphere, attitude and coldness that surrounded his whole body.

“If you can’t be a faithful woman, you should just shut up and be prudent in your conduct. You must have crossed the palace so often up to now that you’re gossiped about, right?”

Her big eyes trembled. She had yet to overcome the shock of having heard the word ‘ affair.’

Without waiting for her answer, he mercilessly demanded, “Didn’t you work with Prince Ruhae to pull me down from the seat of the Crown Prince? If you didn’t, who is now slandering me?”

“Your Majesty…”

So embarrassed, she didn’t know what to say.

His merciless criticism was cruel.

“My position is not weak enough to be swayed by this kind of rumor. Be careful. If you are once again gossiped about like this…”

He came near to her bed and lowered his head. She closed her eyes in panic.

Their faces touched. She could feel his breathing up close. She opened her eyes. She expected to face him directly before her eyes, but his face was not seen. Instead, his face was toward her ears now.

He whispered into her ears quietly, “I’m going to be the next Emperor.”

She felt his warm breath and chest. This was the first time she was so close to him. His upper body almost touched hers. His hair braided behind the ears grazed her cheeks.

“All you have to do is just keep your place.”

Having said that calmly, he stood up. She also raised herself up while trembling. And she stopped him who was about to leave her room hastily.

“Your Majesty! I have never had an affair with Prince Ruhae. That’s all groundless rumor! Please trust me. I’ve never…”

He stopped walking for a moment but didn’t turn around to see her.

Turning his back on her, he bluntly said, “You don’t have to make any excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse. That’s a fact!”

“I mean, you don’t have to take pains to explain whether it’s true or not. I told you already that I didn’t care about whether the rumor was true or not.”

“But I’m your wife, Your Majesty…”

“I don’t care.”

His reply was still cold. She was embarrassed. He rushed into her room, grabbed her shoulders, pushed her to the bed and blamed her for allegedly having had an affair with Ruhae. Now he said he didn’t care about it.

What the heck is he talking about?

“If that’s the case, why did you get so upset with me?”

“As the rumor came into the Emperor’s ears, I got blamed because of you.” As if he couldn’t calm down now, he emphasized again, “I don’t know how many times I told you about this. I don’t care no matter what you are doing. I’m not interested in anything other than the fact that you’re my official wife. I told you I didn’t want to waste my time and energy on useless things, didn’t I? I’m pretty busy.”

And then he left her room, and she didn’t hold him. While he was leaving, she watched his back until he disappeared.

Kyosul found it hard to understand what she just heard from him and what he was trying to say. She just sat on the bed blankly and looked at the door through which he went out. Though she felt his voice was flat and cold, it was just plain and blunt when she looked back at it. Though he seemed to vent his surging anger at Kyosul who got scared beforehand, it was not a big deal when she pondered over it again.

Oh, I think I understand it now.

After thinking hard about Bipaan’s warning, she realized something anew. His way of speaking, glittering eyes and attitude were far from cold and scary. She’d been confused because of his harsh language.

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He just had no feelings about her just like his title ‘Bipaan,’ offered by his father Ohyulje, the Emperor.

“Bipaan literally means ‘don’t break your face.’ What a title!”

She thought that Bipaan was given to him, so that he should not reveal his feelings to others.

In fact, he didn’t seem to show any slightest feeling or emotion to others

“How can a human being so indifferent to others?”