Futile Love

Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Hearing Kyosul’s message from the court lady, Ruhae let out a sigh.

In fact, he expected this kind of reply because he knew that she had been avoiding him since she discovered his real identity.

Kyosul didn’t appear in the back garden anymore, where she took a walk all the time, and when she bumped into him there, she didn’t even try to make eye contact with him.

Looking at the stepping stones leading to the door of her residence, he finally walked over to come in.

“Oh, no, Your Majesty!”

The court ladies expected that he would leave, but when he tried to cross the stepping stones to go to Kyosul’s room, they called him in astonishment.

Ignoring them, however, he took off his shoes on the stepping stones to come in.

“Your Majesty, the Crown Princess hasn’t allowed you to come in.”

“Your Majesty!”

They approached him in groups, but he pushed them aside and went into her residence.

Startled by his sudden move, they followed him. They had never seen such a rigid expression on his face. He was always courteous with a gentle smile on his face, but today he was a totally different man.

At a loss what to do, they just followed him.

Ruhae was the third in line to succeed the throne, and they couldn’t stop him.

“Your Majesty, you should not come without her approval!”

“Your Majesty, please keep your dignity and manners.”

What they could do at their level was to call out to him like that to express their embarrassment.

When he crossed the last door right to Kyosul’s room, more than 20 court ladies were behind him.

When Ruhae opened the door and came in, the nanny looked at him with a startled expression. With no smile on his face, he was resolute and determined.

“How dare you come into her room recklessly?” said the nanny at her bedside, standing up.

The nanny also didn’t know how to respond to this embarrassing situation, but he even ignored the nanny and approached Kyosul’s bed.

“How come you wouldn’t allow me in when you accepted all the visitors up to now?”

He asked her sternly. She held a bowl of porridge, leaning against several soft pillows stacked up on the bed. As she hardly had any food while she was sick, her skinny white hand trembled.

“I’m tired, nanny,” she said feebly with her cracked lips, handing the porridge bowl to the nanny. She ate only half the porridge as she lost appetite, but her remarks to the nanny were responded by someone else.

“The Crown Princess has just said she is tired. Just leave!”

Turning his head, Ruhae shouted to the court ladies standing behind him and closed the door.

The court ladies, who were whispering among themselves behind the door, had to go back helplessly. There were only Ruhae, Kyosul and the nanny left in the room. He approached her bed and took the nanny’s spot beside her.

“Let me stand by the Crown Princess, so you go and take care of your own matters,” he said.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Bowing to him, the nanny stepped back and went out of the room. The nanny’s job was to keep an eye on her, so she was supposed to stand by her, but she understood what he meant when he said that, so she left silently.

He took her hand.

“Ouch!”

At that moment, she blurted out a feeble sound. Now he held onto her hand tighter. She tried to disengage her hand from his by twisting her fingers. The more she tried to do so, however, the stronger his grip on her hand was. As she hardly ate any food, she couldn’t refuse him.

After wrestling with him in a war of nerves for a while, she finally gave up and left her hand in his.

When she relaxed her hand, his strong grip eased. At that moment, she felt the urge to withdraw her hand, but it was obvious that he would strengthen his grip if she tried to withdraw her hand.

Without looking at him, she asked in a trembling voice, “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Why are you so mean to me, Your Highness?”

She frowned at his response. Her slanted eyebrows looked pitiable while the middle of her forehead trembled, revealing her nervousness.

Biting her lower lip, she said in a dry voice, “What did I do to you?”

“Why are you sick in bed like this? Why are you avoiding me, and why are you so heartbroken?”

He paused for a moment and then went on, “Why are you swaying my mind so much?”

He again squeezed her hand, with his eyes trembling. She lowered her head.

I shouldn’t see him.

She took pains not to see his face. She felt pain in her neck. If she looked into his soft eyes again, she felt she would not be able to turn away again. She was scared of what would happen, but he opened his mouth easily as if he didn’t fear anything.

“Crown Princess…”

He called her, but she didn’t reply. With her head lowered, she just wiggled her hand. His voice made her nervous.

“Crown Princess….” he called again.

But as she didn’t look at him, let alone reply, he just let out a sigh.

“Oh my….”

Her heart sank at his deep sigh. At that moment, she was troubled by so many concerns.

Gosh! Did I make a mistake? Did I harass him? Did I disappoint him and make him exhausted? I should not have treated him so harshly. What if I regret my act when he gave up on me?

Consumed by her concern, she realized her genuine feelings toward him.

In fact, the moment she bumped into Ruhae in the South Palace on that summer day, she could not resist her surging longing for him, which she had been holding back. She wanted to conceal her feelings forever.

Did he sense her agitation at that moment? He put his other hand on her forehead.

She turned her head away as he spoke, “It’s pretty hot here. Please lie on your back. Let me cool down your fever.”

His voice was soft and peaceful, to her surprise. It was almost the same as it had bee when they walked together in the back garden.

He released her hand and looked at the basins beside her bed. She quickly clasped her hands together. She felt her hand was hot. She couldn’t tell if it was hot because he held it or because of her fever. When she stroked her hand, he put his hand in the basin. There was no cold water. It was lukewarm and even a bit warm.

“Oh my…..”

He let out a sigh again. She flinched. She couldn’t help it. Even before she actually expressed it, her attitude already showed that he was an important person to her.

Checking out the water basins, he put a cloth into a basin with cold water and squeezed it.

The warmer the water in the basin was, the more keenly he felt she suffered from fever.

“Crown Princess, please lie on your back,” he kindly requested.

He found her still sitting up when he was about to put the cold cloth on her forehead.

Though she hadn’t yet turned her eyes toward him, she lay on the bed without any objection as he asked.

He put the wet cloth on her forehead for a moment then turned it inside out to wipe her face.

“Crown Princess.”

She didn’t reply, though. After all, he stood up, holding a wet cloth, and said loudly, “Crown Princess, why are you ignoring me like this? Even if you pretend not to see me and not to hear me, you still hear and see me, don’t you?”

Though his voice was clear and loud, he was not angry. He just felt she was pitiable.

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He continued in a trembling voice, “Why have you become so different? Do you see any big difference between me as an ordinary member of the royal family and as a prince? Did you feel you could get close to me when I was an ordinary royal family member, but couldn’t because I was a prince? Whether I am a royal family member or a prince, I’m still Yuuljin Danmok as I used to be. How come Woorum treats me differently?”

Now, his voice became filled with emotion and hurried. Unable to hold back his emotions, he was panting. When he was done talking, the room was silent.

Kyosul struggled to sit up.

“Please lie down. If you sit up, your fever will worsen. Even now, you have a high fever.” She shook off his hand. Feeling awkward, he withdrew his hand and looked at her sadly. “Don’t you like my touch anymore? Can’t I worry about you?”

He felt heart-broken. He was determined to protect her when he confronted Bipaan. The moment he sat face to face with Kyosul, however, he just got confused because his greed could trouble her mind all the more.