Futile Love

Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Even though he vowed that he would push ahead to protect her as she was so important to him, he found himself trying to read her mind when he sat face to face with her.

He didn’t want to do anything that would put her at risk. He wanted to do as she wanted him to do. Despite his endless longing for her, she wanted to devote her heart to the Crown Prince.

If that was the case, he understood her refusal to see him, but he was wrong.

While gasping for breath, she turned her head towards him, looking up at him with clear eyes. When she looked at him directly, his eyes were opened wide with surprise.

“I ….”

Though she tried to avoid his eyes, her eyes met his. It seemed that she could not turn away from him forever.

“I….”

Looking at him, she barely opened her mouth.

“I don’t feel hot no matter how high my fever goes up.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, looking at her eyes.

Her eyes were red. He couldn’t figure out if it was her fever or her tears or both that caused it.

When her eyes met his, tears fell quickly. The reason she didn’t want to see him all along was that she was fighting back tears.

Her eyes looked sad. He thought he only felt sad as he was ignored, but obviously, she felt sad when she ignored him. Her sadness made his heart break all the more.

The moment he was thrilled to confirm her feelings about him, she opened her mouth again.

“I feel cold. No matter how much silk I cover myself with, no matter how much fever I have, even if I jump into a fire, I am still cold.”

While she continued to speak in a feeble voice, he just waited silently for her to finish. He didn’t cut in while she was speaking.

“When I lived in the Hwa Kingdom, I didn’t feel cold at all. Little did I think I could experience things that would make me feel cold when I came here, but I’m cold now. I’m shivering with extreme cold now.”

He could guess what she meant by ‘cold,’ and he was confident that he could protect her from that kind of ‘cold.’

“I can…” he said finally while listening to her tearful appeal. He cautiously held her hand, sitting on the bed. His voice was calm but passionate. It was soft but strong enough for her to jump into his arms and leave everything to him.

“Crown Princess, oh, I can make you feel warm,” he said firmly.

“Did you say you would make me feel warm?”

But she gave him a vain smile. In some respects, her smile was sad and troubling.

“How can you say that to me? How can you make me feel warm? You’re a prince. You are not Yuuljin. You are Prince Ruhae!”

She felt resentful about his promise that he would make her keep warm given their situation. She was upset because he made her have vain expectations. She hit his chest with her small fists, but he felt her angry voice was sweeter than any other confession of hers. That kind of rebuke was what he had been looking for. After all, he couldn’t hold back the urge to confess his genuine feelings about her.

“I love you.”

His short confession rang true and deeply touched her heart. He looked at her seriously. She felt as if she were frozen to hear his confession. She spaced out and at a loss about how to respond to his scary and terrific confession.

Love.

It was the first time she heard someone confessing his love to her.

What should I do?

As she was confused with all the complicated thoughts at the moment, she couldn’t think straight. She wanted to make excuses so that she could throw herself into the vortex of feelings.

“I really love you from the bottom of my heart.”

Ruhae whispered into her ears once more in a softer voice.

At his strong confession, she couldn’t afford to agonize or think too hard. She forgot everything at the moment. What she could recognize at the moment was Ruhae before her eyes. His eyes and his voice.

Ruhae approached her slowly and hugged her. She didn’t refuse him.

She couldn’t. His overwhelming affection was too big for her to refuse. In the end, she got carried away with her genuine feelings toward him.

“Ahhh….”

She moaned feebly. It was the first time she felt so relaxed and warm since she came to the Mok Kingdom. She felt so warm in his arms.

Was it because she had been so exhausted? She let herself be wrapped in his arms and closed her eyes quietly.

He wrapped her in his arms quietly for a long time. His heart was full as he had never been this close to her before. His heart was beating so strongly as if it were breaking.

He was not sure whose heart was pounding so hard now as her heart touched his.

“Haaa…..”

They both heard the sigh but didn’t which of them sighed. The spot near his mouth grew hot as he breathed, warming her.

He also felt she was getting hot. He slowly and clearly whispered into her ears with his sweet voice, “Now, please tell me that you are of the same mind about me. If you say so, I’m already ready. I’m going to make you my woman by staking everything on it.”

It was more difficult for him to read her mind than understanding any hard classics. No matter how hard he tried to understand her thinking by recalling her behavior in the past, he just got confused about it.

But her reaction a moment ago, and her rebuking voice gave him a ray of hope.

“I think you’re of the same mind about me, right? That’s why your heart is so hot.”

His suspicion of her feelings about him now turned into his conviction, so he began to get closer to her step by step.

His big hands touched her cautiously, and he caressed her hair as if he were counting her hair with his bent fingers.

His hands moved from the hair behind her ears to her cheeks and jaw, now back to her lips. His trembling deep breath now wandered around her neck. Kyosul’s eyelashes fluttered. She found it hard to stand it when she was already wrapped in his arms. What if his caressing hands and breath were moving toward her private parts of her body?

Ruhae lowered his head, and he moved his thumb between her neck and her clavicle. When he was about to touch his face to hers, she barely pushed him, saying, “No, no….”

She pushed Ruhae’s chest with her slim and little fingers. Though her push was pretty weak, he had no choice but to be pushed away. He didn’t make any unreasonable demands or push. He accepted Kyosul’s refusal.

Only a moment ago they were close enough to each other, but not now. The warmth they felt when they were close together disappeared into the air. Though they got excited they cooled down.

When there was a distance between the two, she could take a breath. Spaced out until a moment ago, she began to come to her senses gradually.

“You are… Prince Ruhae is wrong.” She took a deep breath and took pains to calm down her pounding heart. “I, Crown Princess Kyosul, am the official wife of the Crown Prince. How can I love any other man than the Crown Prince?”

That was the main reason she got confused. She often hid behind the excuse that she was the Crown Prince’s official wife, but Ruhae was now confident that her excuse was just a simple put-off. Though he felt he lost face because of her refusal, he didn’t have any intention to give up.

He asked back boldly, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you…”

He pulled her hand and put her little palm on his chest. Her hands clenched. His heart was beating strongly enough for her to feel it. Obviously, his strong heartbeat reflected his longing for her.

He spoke firmly with a resolute expression, “I’m going to prove it to you.”

Embarrassed by his sudden announcement, she asked, “Proving what?”

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“I’m going to prove clearly that your heart is beating as strongly as mine when you see me, so you can’t ignore me anymore.”

“Oh my god…why are you…Prince Ruhahe ….” she slurred. She couldn’t finish her last words “Why are you giving me a hard time like this?”

She couldn’t tell him that she was stressed out because of him. If she had said that, it would have proven that his irrational insistence was right.

With a calm glance, she said, “You won’t prove it.”

“I can prove it. I will certainly prove it.”