Futile Love

Chapter 63: Chapter 63

“Well, at that time I just wanted to help him as he was innocent.”

“So, did you meet him?”

Bipaan didn’t listen to her excuses. A shiver ran down her spine at the moment.

She felt tempted to announce her relationship with him. She felt she didn’t have to wait any longer and clarify her position.

But could she do that? Even though Bipaan said he would never care about what she would do as long as she didn’t stand in her way, she was his official wife at the moment.

‘Can I openly reveal my relationship with Ruhae?’

Bipaan’s question confused Kyosul. He didn’t even give her any time to sort out her thinking.

“Let me ask you once more. Did you meet him?”

He stared at her with fierce eyes. She couldn’t avoid his eyes now. Her big and round eyes were already filled with tears. It looked like he would persistently keep questioning her until he got the right answer. His intent was obvious now because he didn’t give her any other option.

In the end, she slowly nodded. Her heart was pounding wildly.

“Yes, I did. And I’m meeting him now. Ruhae makes me feel warm.”

Bipaan raised his hand quickly, and she closed her eyes tightly. Tears now began to drop from her closed eyes. She thought he would slap her in the face just like he slapped Ruhae’s face when he caught them in the back garden of the outer palace on a spring day.

But Bipaan didn’t. Curling up her body to the best she could, she opened her eyes.

His clenched right hand was in the air, trembling a lot. The joints of his big hand were quite visible. Looking at his fist for a moment, she now turned her eyes toward his face.

As if he was barely holding back his anger, he shut his mouth and stare at her with his face flushed. She again looked up at his clenched fist. Blood came out of the palm of his right hand.

He put down his right hand more quickly than he raised it.

“Don’t call him by his first name Ruhae before me. No matter what happens, I’m your official husband. So, as long as you don’t stand in my way and the Emperor heard about your relationship with him, you can do whatever you want to do.”

She felt something was cut off suddenly.

Without looking at her, Bipaan turned, saying, “You can leave now. Don’t come to see me for trifling things like this in the future. You can meet me only when you have important business.”

With his back turned to her, he waved his hands.

She left his study after giving him official greetings.

He sat down. Raising his head, he looked at the wedding dress then he quickly threw it aside. It hit a bookshelf and fell under it like a crushed rugosa rose.

When he turned, his face was turning white.

The Dongbin Palace, where Kyoyoung’s residence was located, was quiet. There were few guests visiting it as it was located at the eastern edge of the East Palace. The only person that visited it was Kyosul. As Bipaan’s second wife, she was not loved, and she didn’t get his attention. There was a wild rumor in the palace that even Kyoyoung was deserted by him on the wedding night.

Nonetheless, Kyoyoung was persistently holding her own. She had never revealed her unpleasant or unsatisfied feelings to anybody, trying to fix her image as a faithful woman.

She took a shower every day and prettied herself up. She had no expectation that Bipaan would come and see her. Still, she dressed up and made up her face every day. She couldn’t stand her loneliness without doing that ritual every day.

She would be his second wife for the rest of her life. She couldn’t improve her situation on her own. She had to spend every night alone, let alone every time during the day. She had to endure this endless boredom and miserable silence every day, taking it as her destiny.

“The Crown Prince has arrived!”

The chief court lady’s announcement stunned Kyoyoung. She looked at the door with a stunned expression. And she saw a big shadow over the door.

“What did she say to me?”

She couldn’t believe her ears. She instantly got confused she might have heard wrong. She never expected to hear that kind of announcement in the Dongbin Palace.

‘Did I dream a strange dream while asleep?’

When she was lost in such thoughts, the door opened wide.

With surprised eyes, she turned her head towards the door.

There stood Bipaan.

His long hair was down around his shoulders, he stood stiffly, dressed in a light outdoor jacket.

Even after she saw him, Kyoyoung couldn’t believe he was there so late at night.

After she became his second wife several years ago, she had never imagined a situation like this before.

“Long live the Crown Prince! I’m honored…”

She barely opened her mouth out of fear and astonishment.

The moment she tried to finish her greetings, he shut the door with a bang. The court ladies outside the room stopped whispering and went away one by one.

He walked into the room roughly. She felt as if her heart just stopped at that.

Gasping for breath, she thought to herself, ‘No, I should pull myself together. I should come to my senses.’

She felt like she could pass out because of the unbelievable situation unfolding before her eyes. But she strained her eyes with a firm resolve.

He gently called her name, “Princess Kyoyoung.”

At that moment she felt as if she owned the whole world. She felt as if the imperial palace were placed under her feet.

She appreciated her ritual. She cleaned her body in a bathtub floating with fragrant flowers. Though she slept alone every night, she was always dressed in silk clothes finely embroidered when she woke up. Looking back, she thought her routine habit like that every day was not in vain. Above all, she thought it fortunate that she could show her beauty to him despite his sudden and expected appearance, but all these moments were only her false illusion.

He looked down at her, and she shyly looked up at him. The moment her eyes met his icy glance, she realized it.

His visit this time was not different from the type of visit that a man made to his wife casually. She could feel nothing sweet or cozy about his visit.

His eyes were cold like an iceberg in a deep and dark shadow. What she noticed from his expression first was his anger.

There was no man in the world that could hold his wife with such a threatening and icy look.

Though Kyoyoung didn’t know much about conjugal affection, she could feel it instinctively.

“Your Majesty?”

When she felt something ominous, she grabbed her chest. She didn’t do it to calm down her trembling heart. She just wanted to dispel the impending fear.

“Do you keep my wedding robe?”

“Wedding robe?”

“I mean the wedding robe I left in your room on the wedding night.”

She blushed. Little did she expect he would mention it on that shameful night. It was the most shameful night of her life and she didn’t want to recall.

“Your wedding robe…” She was plunged into great confusion by his unexpected question and tried to recall it. “Ah! I remembered it. To the best of my knowledge, the court ladies with the Dongbin Palace took it to the laundry center. Probably they did, I think.”

She stumbled while speaking, but tried to bring back her memory of that night to give him a satisfactory answer. That reply didn’t seem to be what he wanted. His thin lips were closed when he responded curtly, “Got it.”

Her heart sank when he said it almost with a sigh.

As soon as he confirmed it, he turned and murmured to himself inaudibly, “Why didn’t you….”

Kyoyoung heard it but couldn’t understand as his voice was soft. It was clear that he lost interest in her already.

Something went wrong.

She felt she couldn’t let him go like that.

She held him by the sleeve with one hand and held her coat string with the other hand.

“Your Majesty!”

She couldn’t say any other words at that moment. The only thing she could do was call him.

Her see-through silk clothes revealed the curves of her figure. Only small underwear covered her private parts. Almost naked, she looked at him.

She didn’t know how she could be bold enough to arouse his sexual desire. Maybe she wanted to get even with him for his having deserted her on the wedding night.

“Your Majesty!”

Calling him again, Kyoyoung pulled his arms. Her hands were as cold as ice. She felt warmth in his arms that she held tightly.

‘How would I feel if he touches my body with his warm hands?’

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Her heart was growing full.

“Please hug me, Your Majesty. Please, don’t turn away from me!”

Then she ran into his arms.

The collar of his rustling clothes touched her naked body.

She strained her hands after pulling him.