Heart of Darkness

What was gone? Angelica's mind was only focused on the sensation that went through her body. She just stared at him. Specifically his mouth. 

As if realizing what he had just done he released her finger and cleared his throat before turning away. He looked down at his plate before smiling to himself while shaking his head. "What am I doing?" He muttered. 

She wondered the same. What was he doing to her? He must be able to hear her loudly beating heart and her shaky breath. He must be able to see her flushed cheeks, her melting body if not her melting brain. He must know how he left her feeling. 

Angelica let her paralyzed arm fall off the table and onto her lap. She let both her hands stay there under the table.. 

"What I said this morning seems to have had the opposite effect. You even dressed up." He spoke quietly. 

Slowly he lifted his gaze to hers. "And your heart is beating fast, but it is not in fear." 

No, it wasn't. But why did he look disappointed? 

He chuckled sadly. 

"What do you want me to do?" He asked her. 

What exactly was he asking? Flustered she let her head down and wished she didn't tie her hair up so it could cover her face. 

He waited, watching her. "I would like for you to stop drinking. It is not good for your health." She said. 

He chuckled again.

"I wish it was bad for my health. I would just drink my way to death." 

She looked up at him with a frown. "Why do you say such things?"

"If I don't die, then I will become greedy. I will wish for things that I don't deserve. I am already letting myself be happy." His gaze fell as if he didn't want her to see the emotions in his eyes. "How am I supposed to live like this?" 

Angelica was taken aback by the sadness in his voice. It took her back to the poems he wrote. He longed for death in them and often described himself as a monster. Someone evil and cruel. Someone unworthy. 

"My Lord…" She wanted to say something but he stood up. 

"Have a good night." He said. 

Angelica watched him walk with sunken shoulders and a hanging head. He walked steadily yet it seemed like he had a hard time finding his way. What had happened to him to make him this way? 

With time she would probably learn more about him. She was not going anywhere anyway. This was her home now. 

Leaving the dining table Angelica went to the library to grab a book before going to her room. Since she had just woken up, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon. She tucked herself under the blanket and then opened the book to read. She was half focused as her eyes skimmed over the words, then as she turned a page her gaze fell on her finger.

Images of what had happened came back to her with all the feelings that were involved. She squirmed embarrassed. Why would he do that? And why did it feel so… provocative? She shook her head to not think of it again. 

Instead, she looked at her finger and tried to find the cut but she couldn't see it. Placing her hand near the candle on the bedstand she looked closer, but she could still not see anything. 

Where was it? It was this finger she cut, right? 

'It is gone' she heard his voice say. 

Gone? Where?! 

Oh, Lord. What was happening?

The cut...where was it?!

What did he do to her finger? Or did he do something to her mind? She was losing it. 

After turning and twisting her finger for a while to find a cut she finally accepted that the wound was gone. He did something to it with his mouth. 

Was this what was different about him? Did he have some kind of healing ability? What would that make him? And if he could heal, would he not heal his scars? Perhaps not. Since he inflicted them upon himself, maybe he wanted to have them. 

Oh Lord Rayven. Why are you so complicated? 

Putting the book aside she lay down and covered herself up to her shoulders. It was still raining since the morning. Angelica watched the raindrops falling against the window. She truly knew nothing about the man she lived with and he was one to speak in riddles. Riddles she would have to solve. 

Closing her eyes, she tried to fall asleep to the calming sound of rain. 

Angelica didn't know how much time passed until she felt sleepy and her eyelids kept covering her eyes. Even though she wanted to give in a sound in the background was keeping her awake. The sound of something breaking and crashing forced her to open her eyes and sit up. 

Who was here? Or was that Lord Rayven? 

Feeling a bit afraid she got out of bed and opened the door to her room. The sound became stronger now. Curious but also scared she stepped outside and followed the sound. As she neared Lord Rayven's favorite hall, the crushing sound stopped and now she heard heavy breathing. 

When she came to the hall, near the fireplace Lord Rayven sat on the floor among broken furniture. He looked as broken as the pieces on the floor, and his face was buried in his arms. She couldn't tell if he was crying but he kept shaking and she noticed blood dripping from his hands. 

Angelica slowly walked inside. 

"Go!" He hissed without looking up. 

"My Lord…"

"Just leave!" He cut her off. 

It sounded more like a plea than an order. 

"How can I leave you?" She said walking closer but she was too shocked to act quickly. 

She didn't know what to do. He was bleeding. 

Turning away she ran to the kitchen to find some water and a clean cloth. Then she hurried back to the hall hoping that she wouldn't be too late. He was the kind to run away after all. 

Lord Rayven was still sitting in the same place with his face still buried in his arms. Angelica approached him slowly, afraid of how he would react. She went down on her knees in front of him but not too close. 

"My Lord. Allow me to help you." She pleaded. 

He remained quiet and Angelica became nervous. Gathering some courage, she crawled closer and then gently grabbed his wrist. 

Lord Rayven lifted his head and looked at her through the hair that fell over his face. There was a scar across his cheek and his eyes were red with tears. 

Angelica met his gaze, just to assure him that she wanted to help. Then holding him by the wrist she dipped his hand in the water. When she washed both his hands knowing that he was watching her in silence she realized that the blood wasn't from any wounds on his hands. They came from the scar on his face. 

Angelica glanced up. A tear fell down his cheek. To see this tall and strong man cry made her feel something strange. Something unknown. 

Unaware she lifted her hand to touch his face but slowed down midway when she realized what she was doing. She wanted him to know that she was going to touch him and when he didn't flinch back she reached for his hair. Gently, she removed the hair from his face and tucked it behind his ears. If not for the gruesome scars, he looked beautiful. She could tell from the unscarred side of his face. 

Lord Rayven closed his eyes. Angelica wasn't sure why but she hurried to wash the blood and the tears away from his face. The scar he just inflicted upon himself was painful to see. 

"Don't do this to yourself." She said. "Stop doing it."

He opened his eyes and gazed at her. "I can't," he breathed. 

"You can." She told him. "You shouldn't hurt yourself like this." 

"I deserve it." 

"No."

"You would think differently if you knew who I truly was." He said with tears in his eyes. 

"I might not know everything about you, but from the little I know, you don't deserve this." 

He closed his eyes, letting a tear fall while taking a deep breath. Angelica wiped the tear away with her thumb and he opened his eyes to look at her again. 

"It is going to be alright." She told him. 

He was quiet as his eyes searched hers. Angelica smiled at him. "You are not alone anymore. I am here with you. You can talk to me, share with me more than your name and your home. Share with me your worries and fears." 

His wet eyes showed fear. "You are too good for me." 

"Either way, I am yours now," she told him. 

"Angelica," he whispered her name. A quiet call in the darkness that seduced her to get closer. Or was it him getting closer? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that he was going to kiss her and she closed her eyes. 

His hot breath teased her mouth before he captured her lips with his. He wasn't touching her anywhere else. Only his mouth burned against hers, yet her whole body was set on fire. 

His kiss was gentle. His lips entreating, teasing, and stroking hers. Angelica had never felt anything like it before. She wanted more. No, she craved more. 

Lord Rayven pulled his lips away from her and Angelica groaned in both pleasure and disapproval. 

She opened her eyes and found herself staring into his obsidian ones. In that short moment while looking into each other's eyes they exchanged a thousand kisses. 

And then it happened again. A hitch in her breath as the world around seemed to fade away and time stopped. Heat flickered in his eyes. Her heart pumped, then fluttering. Slowly, irresistibly, they were pulled together in a kiss that began where their last one left off. 

His mouth was a sinful delight. His lips were velvet on hers, his fingers entangled in her hair, tilting her face to deepen the kiss. Angelica shivered in sheer pleasure. Her hands reached for him, grabbed him by the shoulders as his arm went around her waist, and pulled her closer to his body. 

With a swift movement, he shifted her and made her lay on the floor beneath him. In the short moment that their lips parted a gasp left her mouth. Her heart began to pound harder as he covered her body with his. Angelica was frightened for a short moment before the touch of his lips made her forget everything else again. 

A low moan escaped her lips when he swept his tongue over her lower lip, teasing her mouth open. Angelica arched against him as his tongue explored her mouth. Her fingers went into his hair and her other hand grasped the back of his shirt. 

Another gasp left her mouth when his lips parted from hers. She thought he was going to stop but he trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Angelica whimpered at the pleasure from his lips on her neck. The tingling heat from his tongue sweeping over her skin. And then the grate of his teeth left her breathless. 

But that was it. Suddenly the heat of his body on hers was gone and she lay on the cold floor all alone. 

Confused but also short of breath, she sat up. Lord Rayven created some distance between them and sat with his hand covering his mouth. 

"Is something wrong?" she asked. 

"Angelica…" His voice was low and compelling. His frightened eyes drew her in. "You are tired. You are going back to your room to sleep. " 

Despite the weakness in her body, she stood up. She was tired. She needed to go back to her room. 

Without much effort, her legs took her away from him and to the cold and emptiness of her room. Why was she so tired?