Heart of Darkness

Angelica lay in her bed, feeling her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Yet she couldn't sleep. Her body had never felt more alive. She could feel her heart pounding, her blood flowing hot in her veins and humming a song of pleasure, her nerves sending heat to different parts of her body and her skin tingling. 

Unable to keep her eyes open, she closed them and stayed in a state between tiredness and restlessness. What was happening to her? This felt so strange. Her body and brain were working against each other. Finally, darkness enveloped her. 

And then came the light. It was a bright sunny day and Angelica saw the back of a red-haired woman rushing somewhere. She happily hummed a melody as she scampered through the crowd and came to a large palace. The woman stopped at the gates sensing that something wasn't right. She stepped inside and went to the front door that was open. 

Going in she looked around the empty hall. "Skender?" 

As she walked further in she saw a trail of blood and followed it. The trail led her to a man sitting on the floor with bloody hands and a stained shirt. 

"Skender!" The woman hurried to his side. "What happened to you?" She looked at his hands and his body for any wounds. 

Skender who sat with his head down looked up. His eyes had the dark hollowness that scared her. He stared at her emptily. 

"What happened?" The woman shook him slightly. "My Lord! My Lady!" She called for help. 

"They are gone." He told her calmly. 

"What do you mean?" The woman was getting more anxious. 

"Dead. They are dead." 

"No!" She shook her head. 

He nodded slowly. His eyes still empty. 

"And I… I am alive." He said. 

A tear fell down his cheek. 

"Oh, Skender." The woman wrapped her arms around him and cried. "Now that they know they will come for you too. You need to go to your world. Now." 

He pulled her back. "They will come for you as well." He said. 

"I will be alright." 

He shook his head. "I can't lose you too. Come with me." 

Suddenly it was night, and she was in another room all alone. Her hands were tied behind her back where she sat. She was terrified and began to sweat when the door to the room opened and a tall man entered. He was well dressed and wore several rings and earrings. His eyes were a bright green and cat-like as he crouched to look at her where she sat. 

The woman crawled away from him in fear but he grabbed her ankle with his terrifyingly long claws, that grazed her skin. 

"No more running." He almost purred pulling her closer. 

Angelica could feel the woman's fear. Her heart pumped louder. "The cat has finally caught the mouse." He smirked showing her a pair of long sharp fangs. "Now let me take care of you." 

His clawed hand reached for her face slowly and in desperate need to escape Angelica shot her eyes open with a gasp. 

Her heart was drumming in her ears and she was covered in cold sweat. 

"Angelica." 

A shriek left her lips and she sat up hastily when she suddenly heard her name in the dark. 

"It is just me." Lord Rayven was sitting beside her on the bed. 

"Oh." She breathed and without thinking she leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. 

Lord Rayven stiffened at first but then placed his hand on her back. He stroked her back gently while Angelica's heart was still beating wildly in her chest. 

"What frightened you so?" He asked. 

She breathed out. "I… I just saw a strange creature. A man with strange-looking eyes. He had claws and fangs. It felt so real. It was so frightening."

She felt him stiffen again. "It must be." He said. 

Angelica held on to him tighter. "I am glad you are here." 

He stroked her back again. It was so soothing that she wished to sleep like this. She couldn't remember the last time someone comforted her. She was always the one hugging and comforting. Her fears and worries, she had to hide because she could only tell her brother and she didn't want to add to his struggles. 

"Can't you… stay here for tonight?" She asked grimacing in fear of being rejected. 

A long silence followed before he spoke, "yes." 

He stood up with one arm still on her back. The other one went under her knees and he adjusted her to lay down. Then he tucked her down under the blanket before going around to sleep beside her. Angelica turned around to face him while he lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. 

"Are you not going to sleep?" She asked. 

"I will wait until you sleep." He said. 

Angelica wondered what he had been doing here in her room? Did she make a noise that caused him to come to her? That would still mean that he was on her side of the castle. 

Would they still have to sleep in separate rooms after what happened…?

Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered what happened between them earlier. So that was what it felt like to be with a man? 

He turned to her and her eyes widened. It was as if she got caught doing something bad but he couldn't know what she was thinking. 

"Are you still frightened?" He asked. 

She shook her head. "I am alright now." 

He nodded and returned to stare at the ceiling. "Are you alright?" she asked him. 

Before their heated moment, he wasn't in a good mood. 

Lord Rayven was quiet for a long while before replying, "I am never alright." He said. 

She wondered about that.

"What torments you so much?" 

There was a short silence after every question. 

"Angelica. Would you forgive yourself if you killed William?"

Angelica was taken aback by the question. Why was he suddenly asking this? For a moment she panicked. 

"Is William…"

"He is alright. I am just asking if," he said. "If you killed your brother would you be able to forgive yourself and live on?"

Angelica couldn't even imagine the thought. It was disturbing. "I would die but not kill my brother." She said. 

He nodded with a sad smile. "But what if you did?" 

"Why would I do that? Unless by accident or if he was going to kill many innocent people…" She stopped. Even then she couldn't think of killing her brother. 

If she hadn't been locked that day when her father left to kill the King, would she be able to expose him and be the cause of his death? She wondered sometimes, even if she said it was to protect her brother would she do it? No matter how bad her father was, he was her father. And she had good memories of him before he became a different person after her mother's death. She recalled that he was a good father and a loving husband. 

If she couldn't do it, then how could she kill her brother? Or anyone? Even if she killed an enemy she wouldn't be able to sleep at night. But that was how she felt. Lord Rayven, being a warrior probably had a different version of killing and death. 

Still, how could he think of asking her to imagine killing her own brother? That was not to even be considered. 

"You can't even imagine it." He said. "I did not only imagine killing a sibling. I planned it and did it." 

Angelica had to take a moment to let the words sink in. Was he serious? 

"What do you mean?" She asked pushing herself up. 

He sat up as well and turned his whole body to face her. "Did you carry your brother when he was born?" 

Angelica nodded still confused about where this conversation was going. 

"I too carried my sister when she was born. I watched her grow. She was my only friend. She was my escape and my comfort."

Something in his eyes changed and Angelica got a bad feeling. As if she didn't want to listen to what he had to say, anymore. 

"She is no more in this world. I killed her." 

An eerie silence followed and then Angelica got out of her frozen state. 

"Why do you say such things?" She scolded getting angry, but he just stared at her and a part of her knew he wouldn't joke about something like this. 

"Because it is true." 

Angelica looked into his eyes. They were cold and empty. He couldn't be speaking of killing his own sister looking like this. 

Suddenly she felt pressure in her chest and she shook her head. There must be a misunderstanding. He couldn't mean it literally. 

"You don't believe me again." He said. "My sister is dead. I. Killed. Her."

"No." Angelica shook her head. 

"Yes." 

"You wouldn't do that." 

"I already did. If you don't believe you can ask any of the Lords." 

"No." She refused to believe it as tears burned her eyes. This couldn't be true. This must be her nightmare continuing. "Why are you telling me this?" 

"You wanted to know about me." He said. "Now you know why I wasn't eager to tell you." 

"You must have had a reason." Her voice sounded like she was going to cry. 

"Tell me what reason could justify killing my sister. That she was my friend? That she was the kindest person I knew?" 

"Then why?" 

"There was something I wanted more than her kindness. So I sacrificed her." 

"You… you are not that kind of person." 

He said nothing and only stared. How was she supposed to believe this? A tear fell down her cheek. 

"I… I can't believe you." She said. 

He just nodded. 

"Say something!" She demanded. 

"What do you want me to say?" 

"That you didn't do it. That there is a misunderstanding. Anything!"

"That would be a lie." He said. 

"Maybe you were saving her by killing her, maybe…"

"Stop!" He yelled and got out of bed. "I sold my sister to a man I knew would use and abuse her, just to have more power. I didn't kill her just once. She died a thousand times before leaving this world for good."

He was angry and shaking and she was crying. 

"Do you still want me to tell you that I didn't do it?!" He yelled. "Alright. I didn't." 

Angelica wrapped her arms around herself. What was this nightmare? She wanted to wake up. 

"I told you. I am no different than the men who sold you." 

Her heart clenched. She hated those men and she never used the word hate but she hated them. Thinking of them always made her blood boil and her soul shrank in disgust. 

Please, Lord. He could not have done that to his sister. He couldn't be like those men. She would rather he was anything else but not that. 

"You kept fighting after everything you went through for your brother. My sister had nothing to give her hope to continue because I was the one who did that to her." She could tell from his voice that he was getting angrier. 

Angelica wanted him to stop. She couldn't imagine what that must have felt like. 

"This isn't the worst that I have done. Do you want to know more?" His voice was venomous. 

"No!" Angelica covered her ears while tears streamed down her face. "It is enough." 

Lord Rayven sighed, "I guess it is enough for tonight. I will leave you to digest this information." 

Then she heard his footsteps and the door open and close. Once she was alone, she buried her hands in her face. She wasn't sure which part was making her cry but she felt so lonely and confused. She was confused about who he was, confused by why she believed him yet refused to do so. There was also anger which she wasn't sure why and a lot of frustration.. But most of all she felt pain and fear.