Hoshi wo Taguru Pt. 6

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“Huh?”

Subaru peered into his pen case and tilted his head. He had no recollection of buying it, but inside was a brand new eraser still in its plastic packaging. It was the same brand that Subaru always used too. However, the original one he used had disappeared.

He thought, ‘again,’ as he took out the new one and stared unblinkingly at it.

This was the third time.

The other time, it was his nearly dried out highlighter pen that disappeared. And before that, it was the broken mechanical pencil that he used in middle school. 

It was just as he thought he should replace his things, when they were replaced by new ones.

“What the hell…” Subaru muttered. He wasn’t so simpleminded that he’d be happy about it.

At this point, Subaru had no idea who was behind this baffling phenomenon. There was no doubt that someone was secretly replacing the item, but because he had no clue what this person’s goal was, it was a bit creepy. He continued to mutter to himself as he turned the eraser around on this palm of his hand. Then, the starting bell rang. Subaru raised his gaze and glanced back to a seat diagonal from him. The owner of the seat immediately looked down in a panic. Until now, he must have been staring at Subaru. However, he was late in averting his gaze, so Subaru quickly figured it out. 

It was Tokizawa.

Even though they had become second years and their classrooms had changed, Tokizawa and Subaru were still in the same class. 

They had moved up a grade, but Tokizawa still had no close friends. He was always alone. Sometimes when Subaru was by himself, Tokizawa would approach and start talking to him.

Whenever they had to do group work, Subaru would go straight for Tokizawa. But when there was someone else with them, Tokizawa would become unable to speak.

Because of that, everyone assumed that Tokizawa didn’t feel like making close friends, and in the end, they couldn’t get along.

For Tokizawa, it looked like Subaru was the sole exception.

Since they became second years, they had changed seats countless times too, and now Tokizawa was in the seat diagonally behind him.

Subaru could feel a hole being burned into his back. It was possible that Tokizawa had been staring at him way before that, but Subaru finally noticed. Their new seating arrangement gave it away.

Subaru stared back at Tokizawa until he heard the teacher’s voice signaling for class to start. He had no choice but to face forward. The whole time, Tokizawa didn’t lift his head or look Subaru’s way.

The second Culture Festival had finally come. According to the calendar, it was already fall, but the weather proved otherwise. It was because summer was especially hot.

Once Subaru’s exhibition ended, he quickly headed to the audiovisual room.

As a second year, it was Subaru’s turn to be a commentator. He was looking forward to this since preparation began. He even tried his best to memorize as much as he could of the explanation booklet. When he got there, the students were already waiting by the door for the projection to start. 

Among them there was one whose face Subaru recognized. Subaru scrutinized with his eyes. He caught on that Tokizawa was looking at him. Then he hid his face quickly, but his face wasn’t exactly the type that could go unnoticed.

“Tokizawa, you came,” Subaru started.
“Ah…. yeah…,” Tokizawa nodded, making an awkward expression when Subaru called out to him. He couldn’t relax. He was so fidgety that his shoulders were shaking.

“It’s my turn to do it next. Don’t laugh if I mess up.”

“I won’t.”

“Thanks.”

Subaru needed time to switch places with the previous commentator, so he hurried inside the planetarium without continuing their conversation. 

“Tsukijima, it’s almost time so hurry up.” his fellow club member called out to him.

“Okay, sorry.”

The third year in charge of assisting hurried into the planetarium. With a pen light in hand, Subaru followed. The simple dome they created, using a blackout curtain, kept the heat in, and as a result, it was quite muggy inside the dome. There was a small fan blowing around by their feet, but it barely made a difference.

Ugh.

After a grimace, Subaru took a deep breath and entered the audiovisual room and waited for the presentation to start. The students were directed inside the dome by another member of the club. 

The room was full of mutters of how hot it was in the room.

Tokizawa sat down in the corner of the room by the entrance.

When all the students came in and sat down, the presentation started. Subaru, who had a small mic pinned to his chest, took a breath and gave a small bow.

“Thank you very much for coming to the planetarium today.”

As soon as Subaru started talking, the chattering students quieted down and became silent. While Subaru was explaining the projection of the sky for tonight, he couldn’t help but notice Tokizawa sitting in the corner.

Actually, Tokizawa wasn’t looking at the stars at all. Perhaps he wasn’t even listening to the explanation either. The whole time, Tokizawa’s line of sight was directed at Subaru. Tokizawa probably thought that Subaru wouldn’t notice given that the only light in the room was from the red pen light. Tokizawa probably didn’t realize just how strong his gaze was.

“…At 7:30 pm, this star…”

The whole time he gave explanations, Subaru could feel Tokizawa’s gaze completely fixed onto him. As a result of that, by the time Subaru exited the room, he felt extremely tired. Even though Subaru really drilled in the explanation into his head, he could not remember if he even said it all. Subaru collapsed in the nearby chair from exhaustion. Next to Subaru was his upperclassmen. “Thanks for your hard work,” he said, handing Subaru a juice.

“Thank you,” Subaru responded, somehow managing a smile as he took the juice. He drank it all in one gulp and he let out a long sigh.

He knew why he was so exhausted. It was because of nerves. While all the other students were looking up at the stars, Tokizawa was the only one wholeheartedly staring at him. Tokizawa didn’t bother to look up at the stars Subaru talked about, not even for an instant. Tokizawa only looked at Subaru.

It was always like that. Tokizawa was always looking at Subaru, and Subaru wasn’t that much of an idiot to not realize the meaning behind Tokizawa’s gaze. After noticing Tokizawa’s gaze for the first time, it wasn’t long after that Subaru understood that Tokizawa liked him.

Every time Subaru tried to think about why Tokizawa liked him, he always ended up tilting his head in confusion. Subaru was currently dating someone, and just like in his previous relationships, this person was a girl. He had absolutely no clue how it felt to like someone of the same gender. Especially feelings as strong as Tokizawa’s.

And Subaru knew Tokizawa was confessed to very often. Although he rejected all of them in the end. Given his good looks and brains, anyone would assume that he was a player who could go for anyone he wanted, but he was only crazy about Subaru. Subaru couldn’t wrap his head around why. 

Having absolutely no idea why Tokizawa liked Subaru so much might come across insensitive, but Subaru truly was at a loss. He wasn’t as good looking as Tokizawa, and it’s not like Subaru ever gave Tokizawa special treatment. Subaru had good grades, but Tokizawa was just as smart.

Subaru didn’t know why, but it was a fact that Tokizawa liked him. It wasn’t just a guess or Subaru being conceited.

His head hung low in deep thought, and then suddenly, after feeling a hit on his back, Subaru hurriedly lifted his head back up. 

“Good job today Tsukijima, you can go now.”

“Ah, thanks,” Subaru replied. He remembered that that waiting room they had made behind the planetarium was very small. If he had kept sitting there, he would be in the way sooner or later. So, he returned the mic and exited the audiovisual room.

As Subaru passed by the other half of the room, he remembered last year’s Culture Festival. He was here with Tokizawa, who also asked about the Pleiades constellation. Subaru wondered if Tokizawa already liked him at that time. He recalled the memory of Tokizawa looking at the picture book enthusiastically. And he wondered what exactly Tokizawa might have been thinking while looking at the Pleiades star cluster.

***