༺ How To Avoid Debut – 13 ༻

 

  I was about to call my brother and let him know, but I gave up and left the bathroom. He could watch it in his spare time, and since there was a solo cut in episode 3, he would know it was airing anyway. 

 

  Returning to the practice room, I picked up the sheet music and repeated the three lines of lyrics several times before diving back into modifying the choreography. While I was trying my best to move my position further back, Hwiyoung, who had been practicing high notes for a while, subtly approached me. He was a member of our group whom I’d only barely learned the name of, as he was so shy even when teaching the dance. 

 

  “Don’t you think your part is too small, leader?” 

 

  “I’m just more comfortable staying back, that’s all.” 

 

 “But still, we’re all eager… you don’t have to do this, leader. We should share equally.”

 

  Hwiyoung advised me to revise it again, lowering his head.

 

  He looked so pitiful, as if something was so regrettable.

 

  My uncle said that he would give up the full editing after this mission. The coffee cost for maintaining the full editing was no joke.

 

  Which meant that after the second mission, we would have to return to the normal amount of work. Even after showing off the full edit that we had poured our souls into, if we came back in fourth place, we might truly see our debut in front of us when we return to the regular workload. Although other desperate participants might grab their necks at such bad luck, I was seriously considering it too.

 

  “You should also have a solo part, leader.” 

 

  Hwiyoung, who was fumbling and constantly moving his hands around his shoulders, found the highlight movement in the second verse and his eyes widened. Then he picked up a pencil that had been lying in the corner, with a shocked expression twice as strong. 

 

  “There’s originally a solo part for the third time here. It’s not my part!”

 

  “You have a good eye. You recognized it right away.” 

 

  “Of course, I already have a solo part in the ‘do this’ part of the first verse. This part doesn’t even last a few seconds, what am I supposed to do if you give it to me?” 

 

  With a genuinely apologetic voice, the eraser attached to the end of the pencil started to erase the arrow I had drawn. Like all pencil erasers, the erasing form was messy 

 

  He erased so urgently that I couldn’t stop him and the arrow disappeared. The erasing motion was so big that the other members who had been practicing slowly approached this side. 

 

  “The paper is about to tear.”

 

  “No, this isn’t my part. The leader marked it wrong.” 

 

  Hwiyoung awkwardly smiled and finished erasing. If he refused to this extent, it felt like he could accept it with a quiet thank you, but he seemed not used to kindness. 

 

  To be honest, the fourth part had the least amount after the third. From the beginning, he had been facing the back. He was passive when choosing parts and seemed not to take care of his own place well. 

 

  “Hwiyoung, your part is also very small.” 

 

  “I’m satisfied with this. Plus, I think I’m going to be eliminated in this mission anyway.” 

 

  He said it as if it was nothing, but his face was as if he had swallowed bitter medicine. Somehow, I felt like a parent and wanted to give him more parts, but the paper would just get messy again. Considering his earlier reaction, he wouldn’t likely accept it with a thank you either. 

 

  I wanted to continue adjusting the movements here and there to make it as fair as possible, but I couldn’t excessively tear apart the already established frame, so I just pulled my position back so it wasn’t too noticeable. 

 

  “I’ve finished adjusting the movements. Please check.” 

 

  Whether it was fair or not, the important thing was the members’ opinions. The members who had been practicing hard individually swarmed in like bees that had found honey, and examined the movements. 

 

  First, Gaon nodded and gave a thumbs up, saying it was well arranged. After that, Jigu silently returned to practicing, saying good job, and the other members gave an okay. The important thing was that the conspicuous blond hair was not visible. 

 

  “Where did Seongwon go?” 

 

  “Um… I don’t think he’s here.” 

 

  Gaon looked around for a moment, but there was no way to see someone who wasn’t there. I was dumbfounded to see him innocently saying he’s not there with a smile. 

 

  What time was it now? He should have arrived by 9 at the latest, but it was almost 11. I immediately asked the shooting team in front, but they shook their heads saying they hadn’t heard that he couldn’t come. I was concerned about the unexpected absence, so I kept peeking at the door, but no one was coming in. 

 

  In the end, practice took place without Seongwon, and as soon as lunchtime came, everyone rushed outside. Earlier, Gaon and another member who was in charge of the rap part suggested going to eat tteokbokki, but I had planned to go straight to the convenience store. I had to try the sushi lunch box that was newly introduced. 

 

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” 

 

  “Oh. I was just going to make a call before I go.”

 

  “Alright, then.” 

 

  The speed at which he typed a message to someone was extremely fast. By looks alone, it seemed as though he would slowly type while looking at the keys, but being a high school student, his typing skills were impressively good. I was the first to turn around and leave the practice room, but in that brief moment, whether he had finished contacting someone or not, Jigu was already standing beside me. 

 

  “Senior. Why did you assign the parts like that?”

 

  “Huh? What? Don’t you like it?”

 

  “Your part is too small, Senior. You have no forward appearances at all.” 

 

  I thought he was satisfied because he didn’t say anything earlier, but it seemed he had doubts about the unfair distribution of parts. 

 

  “If you ended up like this while modifying the parts of the other members, I’ll give you my part. I have too many parts even for a main vocalist.” 

 

  “No, you don’t have to do that.” 

 

  “But it’s too unfair. It doesn’t seem right that you did all the work but ended up like this.” 

 

  Jigu, who left me flustered with his sharp words, stared straight at me. I tried to make some excuses, but it didn’t seem like they would be accepted. 

 

  “Alright, I’ll fix it.” 

 

  In the end, I responded with an acknowledgment. Only then did Jigu relax his expression and bring up another topic.

 

  “If you’re going to eat, I want to go too.” 

 

  “Oh, okay. I’m going to eat at the convenience store, is that okay?” 

 

  “I was going to go to the convenience store too. I want to eat a triangle kimbap.” 

 

  Oh, he’s smiling. It felt like the first time I had seen his lips curl up into a smile since the announcement of the rankings, and I was a bit surprised. He looked really gentle when he smiled. I was about to head down to the convenience store just below us when I ran into Jun, who was hanging on someone else’s shoulder. I was about to greet him, thinking they must have gotten close already, when I noticed that the person he was hanging onto was extremely tall. 

 

  “Hello, Group 4’s leader. It’s been a while.” 

 

  His long, thin eyes crinkled with mirth. It reminded me of the day when I practiced my acceptance speech in front of the mirror, seeing his familiar eye smile. Noticing my somewhat unpleasant expression, Yejun waved his hand frantically, gesturing for me to relax. This unlikely combination was puzzling. 

 

  “So, you’re in the same group as Jun…?” 

 

  “Yes. We’re called the Hip Group.” 

 

  They even came up with a group name. As I contemplated whether our group should also come up with a name, Jun gave me a light tap on the shoulder. 

 

  “Do you want to join us for lunch?” 

 

  “Where are you going?” 

 

  “There’s a place called ‘Mom’s Table’ up ahead. They say the side dishes there are really good. Plus, they serve a random stew for lunch!” 

 

  Despite Jun’s excited proclamation, I shook my head without a moment’s hesitation. I’ve always been picky about food. Not being accustomed to home-cooked meals, I usually settled for prepared foods. There was no way I would want to go to a place that serves a full meal with side dishes. 

 

  “Why don’t you two handsome guys go ahead. Jigu, do you want to eat there too? It seems like it’ll be good.” 

 

  “No, I don’t usually go to those kinds of restaurants.” 

 

  Are you a convenience store regular too? A sudden surge of camaraderie came over me, and I was about to recommend a tasty lunch box but seeing his rather unenthusiastic expression, I held back. 

 

  As soon as we arrived at the convenience store, I grabbed the new sushi lunch box and put it on the counter. The store, being in a busy area, received new items quickly. While I was opening the lunch box, Jigu finished paying for his cup ramen and went over to the hot water dispenser. 

 

  “I thought you were going to eat triangle kimbap. Why did you change to cup ramen?” 

 

  “I thought this would taste better.” 

 

  “Really, that one?” I wanted to ask as the cup ramen Jigu chose was famously known for being unpalatable. When it was launched last month, people complained that it was too spicy and salty. However, his expression was so indifferent, as he held the ramen cup, that I decided not to say anything. After all, it might suit his taste. 

 

  We sat facing each other and surprisingly, he ate quite well. I kept glancing at him, wondering if it wasn’t too salty for him. However, he seemed fine and I had nothing to say. 

 

  Did he usually eat food this salty? Despite my own poor eating habits, I found myself worrying about his and got up. I went deeper into the store to find a bottle of water. As I handed it over to him, his eyes, slightly red, seemed to question my intentions. 

 

 “Drink this as you eat. You’ll make yourself sick.”

 

  I pushed the water towards him with as benevolent a comment as I could muster. Without a word, he immediately opened the cap and started drinking. Part of me wanted to ask, “Was it salty?” His sudden action amused me but I decided against saying anything, resting my head on the table and chuckling inwardly. I usually didn’t laugh much, but I found my own standards for breaking my laughter barrier quite strange, as I popped a piece of sushi into my mouth. 

 

  Seongwon really didn’t seem like he was going to show up, he was still missing even after the dinner provided by the staff. Jigu kept looking at me as if to say, “Aren’t you going to move the route soon?” So I restored my seat, which had been pushed back, to its original position. 

 

  Wondering if Seongwon might have quit the program, I seriously contemplated rearranging the parts. But my uncle assured me that Seongwon just had something come up and that I shouldn’t worry. 

 

  Looking at the clock approaching 10, I thought about how time flew. It felt like we had just been assigned to our groups a few days ago, yet the filming was already the day after tomorrow. Although we couldn’t practice as a whole because Seongwon didn’t show, considering the limited practice time we had, it was alright. 

 

  “Leader, they’re playing the Cleopatra game in the next room. Should we join?” 

 

  “That’ll strain your throat.” 

 

  “It won’t ruin our singing!” 

 

  “You want to shout that much?”

 

  “Yes!” 

 

  “Then practice your high notes. It’s only been a few minutes since you screamed because you couldn’t reach them.” 

 

  Showing a disappointed expression, Gaon rolled on the practice room floor. 

 

  “Cleopatra! No, wait, that’s bad for our throats. Let’s play the ‘face slap’ game instead!” 

 

  Gaon, who boasted of his game skills honed at university MTs, insisted on playing. I patted Gaon’s shoulder and pointed at the other team members resting in the corner. 

 

  “Go and ask them.” 

 

 “They probably won’t want to.” 

 

  Eventually, as if he decided to persuade them, Gaon sluggishly crawled towards the corner of the practice room. Suddenly, the door opened. 

 

  I turned my head to see who had come in and saw Seongwon, who hadn’t been seen all day claiming he had work. 

 

  “I thought you weren’t coming?” 

 

  “I’m sorry. I had someone to meet. But I thought I should come and synchronize with you guys at least once more.” 

 

  Seongwon took off his tightly worn hat and bowed his head. 

 

  “You must’ve been bothered.”

 

  “I should come, of course. I’m really sorry. I wouldn’t be able to meet them if not today.” 

 

  “It seems like you met people who came from afar.” 

 

  “No, they’re just busy people. You know SPACE, right? It’s them.” 

 

  “Wow, SPACE? I really like them.” 

 

  Gaon, who had been silently listening from behind, suddenly stood up and blurted out a word of admiration. Who was SPACE? I thought hard and felt like I remembered. I didn’t know what they looked like or how many members they had, but I knew they weren’t a failed group. 

 

  Was he close enough with active idols to meet them separately? While thinking for a moment, it occurred to me that Seongwon used to be a trainee. Was SPACE from TN? Since there was no way to recall something I didn’t know, I subtly moved back and searched on my phone. Right, TN Entertainment. 

 

  “Wow. Are you close?” 

 

  “We practiced together, so we’re close. Ah, and they mentioned they want to see you, Jigu. They feel a bit hurt because you’ve been through the same hardships.” 

 

  At Seongwon’s words, who was proudly presenting an unexpected friendly relationship with a bright smile, Jigu flinched slightly. The comments flashed again in his mind. He heard that they fought and he left. Wasn’t there a discord with the debut team of SPACE? It was not good to trust gossip, but seeing this continuously chilling atmosphere, it couldn’t be completely ruled out as a lie. 

 

  However, the awkward atmosphere did not last long. 

 

  “Okay, now that Seongwon’s here, let’s practice again!” 

 

  Gaon suggested starting the practice again with a lively voice. The practice room, which had become noisy again, soon filled with the sound of singing.

 

  As soon as Seongwon joined, we were able to form a perfect formation and spent about two hours synchronizing our dance moves. Since there were only days left to practice, it was necessary to make it look like a stage at least roughly. 

 

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